Chapter 20

Chapter 20

A few days later, Cordelia wandered through the grand halls of Whitestone Manor, her mind drifting aimlessly as she admired the portraits lining the walls. The house was unusually quiet, the staff going about their duties with a hushed efficiency. She had just finished reading in the library and was heading towards the garden for some fresh air when she passed Julian's study. The door was ajar, and she could hear the low murmur of voices inside.

Curiosity got the better of her, and she paused, realizing it was Julian and Matthew speaking. She hesitated momentarily, not wanting to eavesdrop, but Matthew's tone made her linger.

"Julian," Matthew's voice was low but firm, "I need to talk to you about Cordelia."

Cordelia could not move. Her pulse raced in her chest as she leaned closer, straining to hear their conversation.

"What about Cordelia?" Julian's voice was cautious, wary.

"I have fallen for her," Matthew said, his voice earnest and unwavering. "Julian, you must see how she suffers here. She deserves more than this life of solitude and repression."

Cordelia's heart pounded in her chest. She leaned closer, straining to hear every word.

"Matthew, this is not your concern," Julian replied, his voice cold and defensive. "Cordelia is my wife. We are married, and that is that,"."

"But at what cost?" Matthew countered, his tone filled with frustration. "You keep her like a caged bird, denying her the life she deserves. She needs companionship, joy, love — things you refuse to give her. I have given her more of that in my short time here than you ever have."

Set her free? Cordelia's mind raced, with confusion and fear intertwining. What did Matthew mean? A caged bird.

Yes, that was how she saw herself, but she did not know others saw her the same way.

Julian's silence was striking, the tension thick in the air. Cordelia's breath caught in her throat, shock and an undeniable truth washing over her.

"Set her free, Julian," Matthew continued, his voice softer now, almost pleading. "Let her be with someone who can truly make her happy and give her the life she dreams of. I care for her deeply and can provide her with the love and companionship she craves."

There was a long pause before Julian finally spoke. His voice was strained, laden with pain and resignation. "And what makes you think she would choose you, Matthew? What makes you so sure she wants to leave?"

Matthew sighed heavily. "Because I have seen the light in her eyes when she is free and happy. I have seen how she loves to socialize, which you don't want. You are too different."

Cordelia's heart felt like it might burst from her chest.

She never imagined Matthew would voice such things, nor did she think Julian would be so quiet in response.

She pressed closer to the door, desperate to hear more.

"You think I do not know that?" Julian's voice finally came, barely above a whisper. "You think I have not seen her spirit wilt? But I …" He broke off, a sound of frustration escaping him. "I want to give her everything she wants, but I do not know how. I am … I am too closed off, and I keep making mistakes with her, when all I want is to give her the world."

Cordelia's heart ached as she listened to the conversation. She backed away from the door, her mind reeling with Matthew's words. She needed to think, to process what she had just heard.

"Perhaps you are right, Matthew." Cordelia's heart stopped completely as she heard the next words from her husband's mouth.

"We have not ... consummated the marriage. I should be furious with you for saying this, for even thinking it. But the truth is, I struggle with this every day. Maybe I cannot give her the life she deserves. She deserves someone normal, someone who can give her all the diversions she should have. I know that she wants it as well …"

Cordelia's breath caught in her throat. They had not known she was listening or standing just outside the door, hearing every word. Tears welled in her eyes, blurring her vision. She backed away, her mind whirling with emotions — hurt, confusion, betrayal.

All the hard work she had put into their marriage … all the effort she had made to try and connect with Julian … it was clearly all for nothing if he was happy to toss her away like this. It seemed like it meant nothing to him and that he did not care at all, and honestly tore her heart from her chest.

She had been missing Julian and it seemed like he did not care for her at all.

She turned and fled down the hallway, the shadows seeming to reach out and grasp for her as she passed. She needed to get away, think, and process everything she had just heard. The cold air nipped her cheeks as she ran, but she barely felt it. She could only think about Matthew's words and Julian's reluctant agreement.

Was her marriage truly a cage? Was she truly a bird longing for freedom?

Cordelia reached her room and closed the door behind her, leaning against it for support. The room was dark, but she did not bother to light a candle. She slid to the floor, burying her face in her hands, the heaviness of their words pressing down on her.

What was she to do? Her heart was torn between the two men — Julian, her husband, who loved her but felt he could not give her the life she deserved, and Matthew, who claimed he could offer her everything she was missing. She felt as though she was standing on the edge of a precipice, the ground crumbling beneath her feet. With none of these choices really being her own …

Cordelia knew one thing for certain: nothing would ever be the same again.

Cordelia's emotions churned within her, a tempest of anger and betrayal. She could no longer contain herself. Rising to her feet, she stormed out of her room, her steps resolute as she returned to the study. Her breath came in quick, furious bursts, each step fuelled by the sting of their words.

Without hesitation, she pushed the door open and stood there, trembling with rage. Matthew and Julian turned to her, shock evident on their faces. The silence in the room was deafening.

"How dare you!" Cordelia screamed, her voice breaking the stillness. "How dare you speak of giving me away to another man! What kind of husband are you, Julian?"

Julian's face paled, and he took a step towards her. "Cordelia, please, let me explain …"

"Explain?" she spat, her eyes blazing. "You talk about setting me free as if I am some kind of possession, a bird in a cage! You do not even consider what I want, what I need!"

Matthew looked stricken, his eyes filled with regret. "Cordelia, we only want what's best for you …"

"What is best for me?" she interrupted, her voice rising. "How can you presume to know what is best for me when you have not even asked me?"

Her anger intensified, her voice echoing through the hall. "You speak of love and freedom, yet you conspire behind my back, deciding my fate as if I have no say in the matter! Do you think so little of me that you believe I cannot make my own choices?"

Julian's eyes were wide with panic. "Cordelia, please, I never meant to hurt you. I only want you to be happy."

"Happy?" she cried, her voice cracking. "You think I can find happiness in the arms of a man who treats me as an afterthought? Or in the arms of another who wishes to rescue me without knowing if I want to be rescued?"

Matthew stepped forward, his face earnest. "Cordelia, I care for you deeply. I only want to see you smile again and live the life you deserve. I want to take you to balls and make sure that you have fun once more …"

"And what life is that, Matthew?" she demanded, tears streaming down her face. "A life dictated by what you think I need rather than what I truly want?"

The two men stood speechless, their expressions filled with guilt and confusion. Cordelia's chest heaved with the intensity of her emotions, her heart pounding furiously.

"I am not some damsel in distress to be saved," she continued, her voice steadier now but no less fierce. "I am a woman with my own desires, my own dreams. I want to live a life of love and happiness. I want to be my own person, not dictated by others.

Not a caged bird and not just a woman on someone's arm. And I will not be treated like a pawn in your misguided game of chivalry. I will not be talked about behind my back in such a way. It is so disrespectful."

Julian's shoulders slumped, his eyes filled with sorrow. "Cordelia, I ... I never realized how you felt. I thought I was protecting you, providing for you ..."

"You have never thought about me at all."

Matthew's face fell, regret and shame washing over him. "I am sorry, Cordelia. I ... I never meant to undermine your strength."

"I do not believe either of you even thought of me once. You are trying to satisfy your own egos, are you not?"

She turned on her heel and fled from the study, not waiting for a response. She tore through the house, her vision blurred with tears, her heart pounding. She could not stay there with the weight of their betrayal suffocating her.

Bursting out of the front door, she ran into the night. The cold air hit her like a wall, but she welcomed it, relished the sting against her skin. The fog had settled thickly over the moors, enveloping everything in a ghostly shroud. She ran blindly, her feet carrying her further away from the house, from the pain and confusion.

The fog grew denser, and soon she could barely see a few feet in front of her. Panic began to creep in, but she pushed it aside, running until her lungs burned and her legs ached. Finally, she stumbled to a stop, gasping for breath, the silence of the moors pressing in around her.

Cordelia looked around, disoriented. She was completely lost. The fog swirled around her, every direction looking the same, an endless sea of white. Her breath came in ragged sobs as the full realisation of her situation settled on her.

She called out, her voice barely more than a whisper in the vast emptiness, "Julian? Matthew?" But there was no answer, only the eerie silence of the moors.

Fear gripped her heart. She had no idea how to find her way back. The anger that had driven her out here had dissipated, leaving only a deep, aching sorrow. She sank to her knees, tears streaming down her face, her body trembling with cold and despair.

As the fog closed in around her, Cordelia felt the crushing weight of loneliness. She had run away from the only place she knew, the only people she had. Now, she was utterly alone, lost in the unforgiving wilderness. The night seemed to stretch on forever, a dark and endless void.

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to find some warmth. The chill seeped into her bones, the fog swirling relentlessly. Cordelia closed her eyes, a sob escaping her lips. She had no idea what the future held, but for now, she was lost in the fog, both in body and in spirit.

As she huddled on the cold, damp ground, Cordelia's thoughts raced. She repeatedly replayed the conversation between Julian and Matthew in her mind, each word cutting deeper. How had her life come to this? She felt like a stranger in her own skin, adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

The fog seemed to close in around her, suffocating her with its eerie silence. She could hear nothing but her ragged breathing and the distant calls of nocturnal creatures. Every shadow seemed to move, every rustle in the underbrush a threat. She hugged her knees to her chest, trying to draw some warmth from within.

A warmth that she was afraid would now elude her forever.

How on earth had she ended up in this mess?