Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Cordelia stood before her bedroom mirror, adjusting the delicate lace on her sky-blue gown. The day was unseasonably warm, but that would not deter Cordelia. For today, she would attend the Sunday church service with Matthew and, of course, the staff, Penny and Dan. She had not felt this light since Felicity visited, but there was an undercurrent of anxiety beneath her excitement.

A soft knock on the door pulled her from her reverie. Matthew's familiar, boisterous voice followed. "Ready for a grand adventure, My Lady?"

Cordelia could not help laughing. Opening the door, she found him standing there, an irrepressible twinkle in his eye. "It is only church, Matthew. But yes, I am ready."

Matthew offered her his arm with a mockingly solemn bow, making her giggle again. "To the carriage, then!" he declared, leading her down the hallway.

As they walked down the hallway, Cordelia felt a refreshing sense of ease with Matthew.

His light-heartedness was contagious, and she genuinely looked forward to the day. As they reached the front door, Penny and Dan were already waiting by the carriage, their expressions filled with a similar excitement.

The journey to the church was filled with lively conversation. Matthew regaled them with tales from his naval adventures, each story more outrageous than the last. Cordelia found herself laughing freely, feeling a sense of liberation she had not experienced in a long time. Yet, despite the enjoyment, a small part of her heart ached, wishing Julian could be there with them, sharing in this moment.

He had not even been there to wave them off, which was truly heartbreaking.

Upon arriving at the church, Cordelia was struck by the beauty of the place. The stone facade, covered in ivy, stood proudly against the backdrop of the clear blue sky. Inside, the church was filled with the gentle hum of conversation and the soft glow of candles. As they took their seats, Cordelia noticed several faces greeting her warmly like she belonged there.

The service was a comforting routine, a return to a sense of normalcy she had been missing. Cordelia found solace in the hymns and the sermon, feeling renewed hope. Beside her, Matthew was respectful and attentive, his usual boisterousness subdued in the sacred space.

After the service, they joined the other parishioners for tea in the church garden. The sun was high, casting a warm light over the neatly arranged tables and blooming flowers. Cordelia moved through the crowd with Matthew by her side, exchanging pleasantries with the other attendees.

It was the first time she had been given the chance to meet the people in the town, and it felt wonderful.

Matthew's charm was undeniable, and he effortlessly engaged everyone in conversation. Cordelia observed him, appreciating his ability to bring joy to those around him. Despite his charm, however, her thoughts drifted back to Julian. She knew her heart belonged to her husband, despite their strained relationship.

When they eventually returned to Whitestone Manor, Cordelia was glowing with happiness. Julian met them at the door with a slightly anxious look.

"Did you have a good time?" Julian asked, taking her hand.

"Yes, it was wonderful," Cordelia replied, her eyes sparkling. "I had a terrific time seeing the town and getting to know some of the people who live here."

Julian squeezed her hand, his heart swelling with hope. "I am glad you enjoyed it."

Matthew, standing nearby, gave Julian a knowing look. "I told you it would do her good."

Julian nodded. "You were right. Thank you, Matthew."

"That looks quite grand," Cordelia remarked, reaching for an envelope left by the door. "What is it?"

Julian opened it with practiced ease and read the contents. His expression hardened slightly as he folded the letter and set it aside. "It is an invitation to the Wexhall ball," he said flatly.

Cordelia's eyes lit up. "The Wexhall ball! I have just heard that it is the event of the season. I have heard it's splendid."

Julian sighed, his brow furrowing. "I am afraid I will not be attending. Before we married, I made it clear that I rarely attended such events. Everyone stares at me, and I much prefer the quiet of the manor house."

Disappointment flickered across Cordelia's face, but she quickly masked it. "I understand, Julian. You did mention that, but I thought ... perhaps this time might be different."

She caught Matthew's eyes, noting how concerned he looked. But, of course, he could do nothing. This was Julian's choice.

Julian turned away from them both. "The thought of attending fills me with dread. I do not enjoy being the centre of attention, and I would much rather spend an evening here, away from prying eyes."

Cordelia never thought that missing out on social events would bother her. Social gatherings had always seemed like frivolous affairs, full of meaningless chatter and pretence. Yet, there she was, staring at the faded wallpaper of her room, feeling a dull ache of longing. The quiet of the house had become a heavy burden, pressing down on her with the burden of all the unspoken words and missed laughter.

It was not just the parties or the dances that she missed; it was the connection and feeling of being part of something larger than herself. She had always been independent, content in her own company, but now the solitude felt more like a cage than a sanctuary.

The only reprieve from this suffocating loneliness was the outings with Matthew that continued after Julian's refusal to go to the ball. Despite Penny and Dan's vigilant chaperoning, those moments were a lifeline. Matthew was a breath of fresh air in a world that seemed to be closing in on her. Unlike so many others, he did not brood in self-pity. There was a lightness to him, a resilience that she found herself drawn to more and more.

She dressed carefully for their next outing, smoothing down the folds of her dress and pinning her hair with more attention than usual. Penny's watchful eyes followed her movements, but she said nothing, only nodding in approval as Cordelia turned to face her.

"Ready?" Penny asked, her tone brisk as always.

"Yes," Cordelia replied, forcing a smile. Inside, her heart was a tumult of anticipation and anxiety.

Dan was waiting with the carriage, and Matthew stood beside him, a warm smile spreading across his face as he saw her. That smile – it was like a balm to her wounded spirit. They exchanged pleasantries, and soon they were on their way, the clatter of the carriage wheels a comforting backdrop to their conversation.

As the carriage rolled down the cobblestone streets, Cordelia and Matthew fell into a familiar rhythm of banter and shared stories. It was easy to talk to him, his easygoing nature drawing her out of her shell.

"So," Matthew began, leaning back with a playful grin, "tell me more about these books you're always reading. I see you with them all the time."

Cordelia's eyes lit up at the mention of her beloved books. "Oh, there are so many! I adore Emma , of course. The story is filled with such wit and insight into human nature."

Matthew nodded thoughtfully. "I must confess, I have not read much fiction. Most of my reading has been navigation charts and ship logs. But I do enjoy a good tale now and then. Perhaps you could recommend something for a seafaring man like me?"

Cordelia laughed. "You might enjoy Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson. It is filled with adventure and the high seas, though perhaps not quite as glamorous as real life."

"I shall take your word for it," Matthew said with a wink. "And what about places you would like to visit? Surely there is somewhere you have dreamed of seeing."

Cordelia's gaze grew distant, her voice softening. "I have always wanted to see Italy. The art, history, and beauty of the landscapes all seem so enchanting. And Paris, of course. To stand beneath the Eiffel Tower and stroll along the Seine ..."

"Both excellent choices," Matthew agreed. "I have been fortunate enough to see many places during my travels, but there is always something new to discover. For me, the people I meet along the way make each journey special."

As their conversation continued, Cordelia could not help feeling a pang of sadness. Despite the joy she found in these moments with Matthew, she missed Julian terribly. His absence was a constant ache in her heart, a reminder of the distance that had grown between them.

When they arrived at their destination – a picturesque meadow just outside the town – they disembarked and spread out a blanket, enjoying a simple picnic. The meadow was alive with the vibrant colours of wildflowers, the air filled with the sweet scent of blooming flora and the gentle hum of bees.

Matthew was animated, sharing more tales of his adventures, and Cordelia found herself laughing and listening intently. Yet, every so often, her thoughts would drift back to Julian. She wondered what he was doing — if he was thinking of her — if he regretted his decision not to join her.

Of course, he did not.

This was not something that he wanted to do, but it was still heartbreaking to continue these days without her husband by her side.

After the picnic, they took a leisurely stroll along a nearby stream. The sun was beginning to set, casting a golden hue over the landscape. Matthew's light-hearted stories and genuine laughter were a welcome distraction, but they could not completely chase away the melancholy that settled over her.

When they returned to Whitestone Manor, the house seemed unusually quiet. The fading light of the day cast long shadows in the hallways, creating an almost ethereal atmosphere. Cordelia felt sad as she climbed the stairs to her bedchamber. Julian had not been there to welcome her back this time.

Inside her room, Cordelia removed her hat and gloves, placing them carefully on the vanity. She sat at the edge of her bed, her thoughts turning to her sister's words. "You have always loved romance, Cordelia. You deserve a life filled with passion and love," her sister had once said, and those words struck her hard now.

Cordelia sighed, looking around the room. The walls were adorned with delicate floral wallpaper, the furniture elegant and refined, yet it all felt cold and empty. She had married Julian with the secret hope of building a life filled with love and romance, but that dream seemed increasingly elusive.

She moved to the window, staring at the moonlit gardens below. The beauty of the night was a stark contrast to the turmoil in her heart. She had always been a dreamer, longing for the kind of love she read about in her favourite novels. The passionate, sweeping romances that made her heart race and her soul sing.

Yet here she was, living in a grand manor with a husband who was a stranger to her in many ways. Julian's distant demeanor and aversion to social gatherings created a chasm between them. She missed the connection they once had, the shared moments of joy and intimacy that now seemed like distant memories.

Her mind drifted to the outings with Matthew. His company had become a lifeline, a source of joy in an otherwise lonely existence. But even as she cherished those moments, she knew they could never fill the void left by Julian. Her heart ached for her husband, for the love and companionship they were meant to share.

She climbed into bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. The room was silent, save for the distant chirping of crickets outside. Cordelia felt a deep sense of loneliness that it seemed would stick with her forever.