Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Julian sat at his desk in the study, staring at the pile of correspondence that demanded his attention. His mind, however, was far from the matters of estate management. The visit from Lady Aurelia and the emotional chasm it had created between him, and Cordelia burdened his mind. He felt trapped, his thoughts a tangled mess of guilt, regret, and a longing to bridge the gap between him and his wife.

He simply did not know where to begin. This was most certainly not his area of expertise.

A sharp knock on the door interrupted his reverie. Before he could respond, the door swung open, and a familiar, boisterous voice filled the room.

"Julian, old boy! It has been far too long!"

Julian looked up, a smile spreading across his face as he saw his old friend, Captain Matthew Forester, standing in the doorway. Tall and broad shouldered, with a devil-may-care grin and a sparkle in his eye.

"Matthew, you rogue!" Julian exclaimed, rising from his seat. "What brings you to Whitestone Manor?"

Matthew strode across the room, enveloping Julian in a bear hug. "I told you I was coming as soon as I could. So here I am."

Julian laughed, the weight on his shoulders momentarily lifting. "And not a moment too soon. It is good to see you. Come, let us have a drink and catch up."

They settled into the comfortable chairs by the fireplace, a decanter of brandy between them. As they talked, Julian felt a sense of normalcy returning. Matthew's easy-going nature and lively tales of his adventures in the navy were a welcome distraction from the turmoil of his personal life.

"Tell me, Julian," Matthew said after regaling him with a particularly amusing story about a mishap in Gibraltar. "How is married life treating you?"

Julian hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. "It is ... complicated," he admitted finally. "There has been some tension lately."

Matthew raised an eyebrow teasingly. "Tension? Between you and your lovely wife? That does not sound like the Julian I know."

Julian sighed. "It is a long story. I think we just … we struggle to communicate."

Matthew leaned back in his chair, regarding Julian thoughtfully. "Ah, I see."

Julian smiled thinly. "I am sure it will be alright."

Matthew nodded, knowing Julian well enough to see that he was not willing to discuss this right now. "In the meantime, how about we bring some life back into this house? It feels far too gloomy for my liking."

Julian could not help smiling. "You always know how to brighten a room, Matthew. I am sure Cordelia will be excited to meet you. Come on, I am sure dinner will be ready now, and the staff know you are here, so a meal will be prepared for you."

Julian stood and led Matthew down the corridor to the dining room, where the table was already set for dinner. The heavy drapes had been drawn back, letting in the last light of the setting sun, casting a warm glow across the polished wood and silverware. As they entered, Cordelia looked up from arranging a vase of fresh flowers at the centre of the table.

"Cordelia, my dear, I have someone I want you to meet," Julian said, his voice lighter than it had been in days.

Cordelia turned, her face a picture of calm grace. Her eyes brightened with curiosity as she saw Matthew, his infectious smile already making its way to her. Julian gestured to his friend. "This is Captain Matthew Forester, an old and dear friend."

Matthew stepped forward, his charm in full force. "Lady Whitestone, the pleasure is all mine," he said, taking her hand and bowing slightly. "Julian has spoken so highly of you."

Cordelia blushed slightly, her smile genuine. "Captain Forester, it's a delight to finally meet you. Please, call me Cordelia."

Matthew's grin widened. "Only if you call me Matthew. No need for formality among friends, I say."

Cordelia laughed softly, nodding in agreement. "Very well, Matthew. Please, join us for dinner."

As they took their seats, the staff began serving the first course. The aroma of roasted vegetables and fresh herbs filled the room, creating a comforting atmosphere. Matthew launched into another of his animated stories, this time about a storm off the coast of Spain and the antics of his crew. Cordelia listened, captivated by his lively narration, and Julian felt relief watching her laugh so freely.

The evening unfolded smoothly, Matthew's presence providing a much-needed buffer between Julian and Cordelia. The tension over their interactions for weeks seemed to dissipate in the warmth of shared laughter and conversation. Julian felt a change in the atmosphere for the first time in what felt like ages. Matthew really had come at the right time to help him with his wife.

Maybe there was a way for everything to be better with his help. He might be great at teaching them how to communicate once more because they were clearly not doing a very good job on their own, as proven by the time Felicity visited.

Perhaps Cordelia was right, and he should have made more effort with her sister, but this was different. Matthew had always been there for him; Matthew knew what he looked like and did not judge him for it.

Guilt flowed through him as he realized that he had not offered Felicity the chance to get to know him as well …

He had been too wrapped up in his insecurities and fears to see the opportunity for connection right before him. Julian resolved to do better, open himself up more, and let others in, starting with Cordelia and, eventually, Felicity.

Julian, grateful for the respite, observed his wife's relaxed demeanour. It starkly contrasted the disharmony that had defined their interactions since Lady Aurelia's visit. He silently thanked Matthew for his impeccable timing and hoped his presence could indeed serve as a bridge for reconciliation.

***

The next morning, Julian awoke to laughter drifting through the open window. He stretched and glanced at the clock, realizing he had slept in later than usual. The events of the previous evening had left him feeling more relaxed than he had in weeks.

After dressing, Julian went downstairs to the dining room for breakfast. Matthew was already there, finishing his meal with an exuberant energy that Julian both admired and envied.

"Good morning, Julian!" Matthew greeted him with a wide grin. "I was thinking we could play some lawn games today. It would be a wonderful way to enjoy this fine weather."

Julian shook his head, smiling apologetically. "I appreciate the offer, Matthew, but I have a lot of correspondence to catch up on. Maybe another time?"

Matthew's smile faltered for a moment before he nodded, understanding. "Very well, but do not work yourself too hard, old friend. A bit of fresh air would do you good."

With that, Matthew excused himself and headed outside. Julian watched him go, feeling a pang of guilt. He knew he should join him, but the weight of his responsibilities and the lingering unease in his relationship with Cordelia kept him anchored to his desk.

He tried to justify it to himself by remembering that he did not know that Matthew would be here today … but he could not shake the guilt off.

Julian settled into his study, but he found it difficult to concentrate. His thoughts kept drifting to the laughter coming from the garden. Curiosity eventually got the better of him, and he wandered over to the window.

There, he saw Matthew and Cordelia engaged in a spirited game of croquet. Cordelia's laughter rang out, clear and joyful, as she playfully challenged Matthew. Julian could not help smiling at the sight. It had been too long since he had seen her so happy and carefree.

Yet, as he continued to watch, a twinge of sadness crept in. He wished he could be the one making her laugh like that. The realization that he had distanced himself from her in recent weeks bore heavily on his heart. Matthew's presence had brought a much-needed respite, but it also highlighted the gap between him and his wife.

He did not like this, but he was also unsure how to improve things.

As the morning wore on, Julian found it increasingly difficult to focus on his work. The laughter and light-hearted banter from outside tugged at his heart, a constant reminder of what he was missing. Determined to reclaim some of the joy that had slipped through his fingers, he resolved to take a step, however small, towards reconnecting with Cordelia.

Around noon, Julian decided to take a break and join them for lunch. As he approached the garden, he saw Cordelia and Matthew sitting on a blanket under the shade of a large oak tree, a picnic spread before them. Cordelia's face lit up when she saw him approaching.

"Julian! Come join us," she called out, waving him over.

Julian smiled and made his way to them, feeling a flicker of hope. He settled down beside Cordelia, who handed him a plate of food. Matthew poured him a glass of lemonade.

"Thank you," Julian said, taking a sip. "This looks wonderful."

Matthew grinned. "I thought a picnic might be a nice change of pace. It is too beautiful a day to be cooped up inside. With the sun shining like this, it is much better to be outside."

Julian nodded, appreciating Matthew's efforts to bring some cheer into their lives. As they ate, the conversation flowed easily, the tension that had plagued Julian and Cordelia's interactions noticeably absent. Julian marvelled at how effortlessly Matthew seemed to bridge the gap between them.

After lunch, as they lingered over dessert, Matthew turned to Julian with a thoughtful expression. "Julian, I have been thinking. Cordelia mentioned that she has not been out much lately. How about we all go to the church service together this Sunday? Penny and Dan could join us as well. It would be a good opportunity for Cordelia to get out and about."

Julian hesitated, the flicker of hope dimming slightly. He did not like the idea of going to church because everyone would stare at him. They would not be able to help it.

"I am not sure if I can make it," Julian said, trying to keep his tone light. "There is so much work to be done, and I do not want to fall behind."

Cordelia's expression fell slightly, but she quickly masked her disappointment. Matthew, however, was not so easily deterred.

"Nonsense, Julian," Matthew insisted, his tone firm yet friendly. "A few hours away from your desk will not cause the estate to crumble. But if you truly cannot tear yourself away, I shall take Cordelia myself. It is important for her to get out, and she deserves a break. A visit to church is always a wonderful balm for the soul."

Julian glanced at Cordelia, who looked hopeful despite her earlier attempt to hide her feelings. He felt a pang of guilt, knowing that he had neglected her needs in his attempt to manage everything himself.

"That is very kind of you, Matthew," Cordelia said, her voice soft but sincere. "I would like that very much."

Julian forced a smile, torn between relief and regret. "Yes, thank you, Matthew. I appreciate it."

Matthew beamed, clapping Julian on the back. "It is settled then. We shall have a splendid time. Dan and Penny will accompany us, and we may even go for tea afterwards."

Cordelia nodded, her eyes brightening. "Indeed we will. That sounds lovely. I have barely seen the town."

"Well, I will change that."

As they continued to chat, Julian found it hard to shake the conflicting emotions swirling within him. He was grateful to Matthew for stepping in and providing Cordelia with the attention she deserved, but he could not help feeling inadequate. He wanted to be the one making her smile, the one to bridge the gap between them, yet he felt trapped by his own self-consciousness. His own constant worries …