Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Cordelia sat alone in her bedchambers, staring out the window at the expansive grounds of Whitestone Manor. The visit from Aurelia had left her shaken, a whirlwind of emotions swirling within her. Sensing his discomfort, she had not pressed Julian as far as she wanted in that conversation. But the encounter had awakened a deep-seated fear and insecurity that she could not ignore.

She needed to talk to someone to unburden her heart. Of course, there was only one person in this home she could speak with, so Cordelia rose from her seat and walked to the servants' quarters, finding Penny busy with her duties. Penny looked up, her expression immediately softening with concern.

"Cordelia, is everything alright?" Penny asked, setting aside her work.

Cordelia gave her a weak smile. "Penny, could we talk? I need ... I need someone to confide in."

Penny nodded, understanding in her eyes. "Of course, My Lady. Let us go somewhere more private."

They made their way to the conservatory she had just decorated with her sister, and Penny closed the door behind them. Cordelia sat down, her hands twisting nervously in her lap.

"Penny, do you know anything about Julian's past ... specifically about Lady Aurelia?" Cordelia asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Penny's eyes widened slightly, then she sighed and sat beside Cordelia. "Yes, My Lady. I know some of it. Why do you ask?"

Cordelia took a deep breath. "Julian never told me about their engagement. Lady Aurelia showed up today, and it was clear she still holds … something for him, or maybe over him, I am not too sure. I am just ... confused and worried."

Penny reached out, placing a comforting hand on Cordelia's. "It is a complicated story, My Lady. The duke and Lady Aurelia were deeply in love once. They were engaged to be married, but everything changed after the fire."

Cordelia's heart ached at the thought.

Penny continued, "When Lady Aurelia saw his disfigurement, she ended the engagement. It broke his heart. He has never been the same since."

Cordelia felt a lump form in her throat. "And he never told me. I have been his wife for months, and he kept this from me."

Penny squeezed her hand gently. "I think he has tried to protect you, My Lady. The duke has always been very private about his past, especially where Lady Aurelia is concerned."

Cordelia's mind raced with the implications of this revelation. "Do you think he still loves her, Penny? Is that why he never speaks of her? Why he plays the piano so often, lost in his thoughts?"

Penny's expression was thoughtful. "I cannot speak on his feelings, My Lady. But I do know that the duke has been through a great deal of pain. It is possible that seeing Lady Aurelia again has brought back old wounds."

Cordelia felt a tear slip down her cheek. "I thought our marriage was honest, but now I am not so sure. How can I compete with a ghost from his past?"

Penny pulled Cordelia into a gentle embrace, her voice soothing. "My Lady, you are not competing with a ghost. You are his wife, the woman he chose to build a life with. Julian's past may be painful, but it does not diminish what you share."

Cordelia clung to Penny, seeking comfort in her warmth. "But how can I be sure, Penny? How do I know what will happen next?"

Penny pulled back slightly, looking into Cordelia's eyes with sincerity. "Love is complicated, My Lady. It is not always an instantaneous thing."

Cordelia nodded, wiping away her tears. "You are right, Penny. But it is so hard when I feel like there are so many secrets."

Penny smiled softly. "Secrets have a way of coming to light, My Lady. Be patient and allow Julian to share his past with you in his own time. He needs to feel safe, just as you do."

Cordelia took a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions. "Thank you, Penny. You always know how to make me feel better."

Penny's eyes sparkled with affection. "It is my pleasure, My Lady. Now, why don't you try to get some rest? It has been a long day."

Cordelia nodded, feeling a bit more at ease. "You are right. I should try to sleep."

Penny helped her to her feet, reassuring her before they parted ways. Cordelia made her way back to her chambers, but as she lay in bed, the conversation with Aurelia and the revelations from Penny still weighed heavily on her mind.

She tossed and turned, unable to find solace. The shadows in the room seemed to whisper doubts and fears, and the silence was oppressive. Despite Penny's comforting words, Cordelia could not shake the feeling of uncertainty.

***

As days turned into weeks, Cordelia and Julian resumed their old ways of avoiding each other. The once hopeful air between them was now thick with unspoken words and lingering doubts. Julian buried himself in his work and his music, often disappearing for hours at a time. Left to wander the vast halls of Whitestone Manor, Cordelia found herself sinking deeper into a pit of despair.

Only her letters to her sister gave her a semblance of relief.

Dearest Felicity,

I hope this letter finds you well and in good spirits. I must confess, my heart is heavy with turmoil, and I feel an urgent need to unburden myself to you, my dear sister.

A woman from Julian's past has resurfaced — Lady Aurelia. She was once engaged to Julian, but she broke off the engagement after his accident. He never told me about her, and now that she is here, it's as though her presence has reopened old wounds for him. I feel like an outsider in my own marriage, unsure of where I stand or how to reach Julian.

I fear he may still harbour feelings for her, and I think I may never truly have his whole heart. How can I compete with a memory, a lost love that still haunts him?

Please, Felicity, tell me what to do.

With all my love,

Cordelia

My Dearest Cordelia,

Your letter has filled me with such concern for you, my beloved sister. I wish I could be there with you to offer my support in person. Know that my heart aches for you, and I am here to help you through this difficult time.

Julian's past with Lady Aurelia sounds like a painful chapter of his life but remember, my dear, that he chose to marry you. That is no small thing. She is no longer in his life.

Do not let the spectre of Aurelia's past overshadow your marriage. Be patient with Julian, as hard as it may be. Show him through your actions that you are steadfast and true. Perhaps a heartfelt conversation, where you express your fears and your unwavering support, might help him open up to you.

Stay strong, Cordelia. I am always here for you, no matter the distance.

With all my love,

Felicity

As the weeks dragged on, Cordelia continued to pour her heart out to her sister in letters. Each word was a catharsis, a way to cope with the growing chasm between her and Julian.

Dearest Felicity,

Thank you for your comforting words in your last letter. They have been a balm to my wounded heart. Despite your advice, I find it increasingly difficult to be patient. Julian and I live like strangers under the same roof, and the silence between us is deafening.

I have tried to approach him, to bridge the gap, but every time I gather the courage, I see the pain in his eyes and lose my nerve. It is as if Aurelia's shadow has wrapped itself around him, making him unreachable.

I am at a loss, Felicity. How do I reach a man who is lost in his own memories? How do I compete with a ghost that has never left his heart?

With love and longing,

Cordelia

My Dearest Cordelia,

Your pain resonates deeply with me, and I wish I could be there to hold your hand through this storm. It is clear that Julian's wounds run deep, and while it is not easy, patience and love are your greatest allies.

You must remember, my dear, that love is not always a grand gesture. Sometimes, the quiet, steady presence and the unwavering support speak louder. Continue to be there for him and show him that you are not a fleeting moment but a constant in his life.

Perhaps a change of scenery, a brief respite from the confines of Whitestone Manor, might do you both some good. A shared experience, away from the past's shadows, could help forge new, brighter memories.

Hold on, dear sister. Love has a way of healing even the deepest wounds.

With all my love,

Felicity

Cordelia clutched Felicity's latest letter to her chest, drawing strength from her sister's unwavering support. She knew the road ahead would be difficult, but she was determined to fight for her marriage, to show Julian that what they had been building was stronger than the shadows of his past.

Dearest Felicity,

Your suggestion of a change of scenery has given me a glimmer of hope. I have been contemplating a trip to the coast or the countryside where Julian and I could escape the memories that haunt us here.

I am unsure how to propose this to him. I fear he might see it as an attempt to flee from our problems rather than face them. Yet, I believe it might be the fresh start we need.

I will gather the courage to speak to him. Thank you for being my guiding light, Felicity. Your words give me the strength to face each day.

With all my love,

Cordelia

My Dearest Cordelia,

I am so glad to hear that my words have given you hope. A trip could indeed be the fresh start you need. Approach Julian with sincerity and express your desire to spend time together, away from the shadows of the past. Let him see that this is not an escape but an opportunity to rebuild and strengthen your bond.

Trust in your love, Cordelia. It has brought you together and can sustain you through this. I believe in you, my dear sister, and I am confident you will find your way back to each other.

With unwavering support,

Felicity

With Felicity's encouragement in her heart, Cordelia decided to speak to Julian. That evening, she made her way to his study, the soft strains of the piano guiding her steps. As she approached, the familiar melody tugged at her heart, another hauntingly beautiful tune that seemed to resonate with melancholy and longing.

She paused at the doorway, listening to the music that filled the room. The notes were sorrowful, each one heavy with emotion. Tears welled in her eyes as she realized it was the same piece Julian always played, which she now associated with Lady Aurelia. The melody seemed to capture the essence of a love lost, of memories that could not be forgotten.

Cordelia's heart ached with each note, the music feeling like a barrier between them, a reminder of the woman who still haunted Julian's thoughts. She felt a fresh wave of despair, the melody amplifying her insecurities. Was this song a tribute to Lady Aurelia? Did Julian pour his heart into the piano because he could not share his pain with her?

She turned away, unable to bear the music any longer. The tears spilled over as she fled the study, her hopes of speaking to Julian crushed by the weight of her emotions. She hurried back to her chambers, collapsing onto her bed as sobs wracked her body.