Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The letter on Julian's desk caught him by surprise. He immediately recognized Cordelia's delicate handwriting, and curiosity and apprehension filled him as he opened it. As he read her heartfelt words, his chest tightened. Her sincerity was palpable, her concern genuine. How could he say no to such a thoughtful and kind invitation?

Much as he was still affected by what had happened when he first showed her the scar, he also knew that he owed it to her to, at the very least, give his wife a chance.

Her words echoed in his mind long after he finished reading. The pain she felt at his assumption, her admiration for his strength, and her desire to spend time with him despite his reservations — these sentiments touched him deeply. She had seen through his defences, acknowledging his scars with a grace he had not expected.

Julian folded the letter carefully and placed it back on his desk, his thoughts whirling with emotions. He sat down, staring out the window momentarily, considering his response. Cordelia's words had stirred something within him, something he hadn't felt in a long time: hope.

Taking a deep breath, Julian reached for a fresh sheet of paper and dipped his pen into the ink. He began to write, his heart pounding with every word.

Dearest Cordelia,

Your letter was a balm to my soul, and I am grateful for your understanding and patience. Your words touched me more deeply than I can express. I am moved by your desire to see beyond my scars and to spend time with me despite the barriers I have put up.

I accept your invitation to walk with you. The estate has many beautiful and hidden places that I would be honoured to show you. We can take it slow and explore at our own pace. I am not much for conversation, but I find that I am looking forward to the possibility of your company.

Please meet me in the morning after breakfast at the front door. Then, we can start our exploration together.

Yours,

Julian

He read the letter twice, ensuring it conveyed his true feelings. Satisfied, he folded it and sealed it with a small wax insignia of the family crest. Julian stood, feeling an unexpected flurry of excitement mixed with nervousness.

He made his way through the quiet house to Cordelia's chambers, the letter held firmly in his hand. The corridors seemed to stretch longer than usual, his anticipation making every step feel like an eternity. He paused as he reached her door, listening for any sign of her presence within. Hearing nothing, he gently turned the knob and entered.

The room was filled with a soft glow from the evening light filtering through the curtains. It was peaceful, a reflection of Cordelia's serene nature. Julian approached her nightstand, his heart beating faster. He placed the letter carefully on the surface, ensuring it would be the first thing she saw when she entered her room.

As he turned to leave, a wave of emotion washed over him. He was nervous about the walk and about opening up, but he also felt hope and excitement that he had not allowed himself to feel for a long time. This could be a new beginning for them, a chance to rebuild what had been fractured.

Julian left the room quietly, closing the door softly behind him. As he walked back to his own chambers, he could not help smiling. Tomorrow held promise, and he was looking forward to it for the first time in a long while.

***

Julian awoke early the next morning, his heart fluttering with excitement. He dressed with care, choosing a comfortable yet presentable outfit suitable for a walk through the estate, taking the time to redo his hair a few times.

As he adjusted his jacket, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His scar, a constant reminder of past pain, seemed less daunting today. Cordelia's letter had given him a new perspective, and he felt a spark of hope that perhaps she could see beyond it.

After a quick breakfast, Julian headed to the front door, where he had asked Cordelia to meet him. He paced back and forth, his mind racing with thoughts of their upcoming walk. What would they talk about? How would she react to the various sights on the estate? Would this be the first step towards mending their fractured relationship?

The minutes ticked by slowly, each one feeling like an eternity. Julian found himself glancing at the clock, then back at the door, his anxiety growing with each passing moment. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. This was just a walk, he reminded himself. A simple walk with his wife.

Finally, he heard footsteps approaching. Julian's breath caught in his throat as the door opened, revealing Cordelia. She stepped into the morning light, her beauty striking him anew. Her hair cascaded in soft waves around her face, her eyes bright with curiosity and warmth. She wore a simple yet elegant dress that accentuated her gracefulness.

For a moment, Julian could do nothing but stare, captivated by her presence. The sunlight framed her figure, creating an almost ethereal glow. He felt a rush of emotions — admiration, gratitude, and a budding sense of affection that he had kept buried for too long.

"Good morning, Cordelia," he managed to say, his voice slightly hoarse with emotion.

"Good morning, Julian," she replied with a gentle smile, her eyes meeting his. There was a hint of nervousness in her expression but a clear determination that matched his own.

"Shall we?" he asked, gesturing towards the path that led away from the house and into the estate's expansive grounds.

She nodded, and they began to walk side by side. The silence between them was comfortable, filled with unspoken understanding and a shared desire to reconnect. Julian guided her along the path, pointing out various landmarks and hidden corners of the estate. He spoke of the history of the manor, the stories of the land, and the memories he had of exploring it as a child.

Cordelia listened intently, her interest genuine. She asked questions, her curiosity drawing him out of his shell. Julian felt more at ease with each step, the initial tension giving way to a growing sense of companionship.

Eventually, though, she stepped on to a slightly dangerous topic that threatened to derail everything.

The topic of them.

Of him.

"Julian, I wanted to say again that your scar does not change how I see you. I do not mind it at all. In fact, I think you might believe it to be worse than it actually is."

Julian looked at her, taken aback by her directness. He had spent so long convinced that his disfigurement was a barrier between him and the world that her acceptance was almost unbelievable. "Thank you, Cordelia. It is ... difficult to see it through someone else's eyes."

She nodded thoughtfully. "I understand. I ... I have had my own insecurities, too." She hesitated before continuing, her voice barely above a whisper. "I was worried that my looks would not be sufficient for you."

Julian stopped in his tracks, turning to face her fully. Shock reverberated through his whole body. " What ? Why would you think that?"

Cordelia bit her lip, looking down at the ground. "I was always told that my sister was the pretty one. I was the agreeable one … the one with a good disposition but not much to look at. I suppose I carry that judgement with me like a scar on my heart."

Julian's heart ached at her confession. He reached out, gently lifting her chin so that she met his gaze. "Cordelia, you are a flower. Your beauty, both inside and out, is unmistakable to anyone who truly sees you. I am ... I am deeply moved by your words and by your strength."

Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and for a moment, Julian saw the vulnerability she had kept hidden. He realized then that they both bore scars, visible and invisible, that had shaped who they were.

"I thought I understood, but now I really understand," he said softly, his voice filled with a newfound understanding. "But they do not define us. We are more than the pain we have endured. Society's judgement based upon looks affects everyone differently."

For the first time, Julian reached out and took her hand in his. The gesture was simple, but it carried a profound significance. Cordelia's fingers intertwined with his, her touch warm and reassuring. Together, they continued their walk, their bond growing stronger with each step.

As they walked, they shared more of their stories, fears, and hopes for a future where life would not feel so challenging for them. Cordelia talked about how not being considered the pretty sister had affected her and how she hoped to move past those insecurities eventually.

The barriers that had once seemed insurmountable began to crumble, replaced by a deepening connection. Julian found himself opening up to Cordelia in ways he had not thought possible about the scar that had always haunted him, not only because of how it looked but because of what it represented, and he could see the same openness reflected in her eyes.

By the time they returned to the manor, the sun was high in the sky, casting a golden light over the estate. Julian felt a sense of peace he had not known in a long time. He knew the path ahead would not be easy, but with Cordelia by his side, he felt ready to face whatever challenges came their way.

As they parted ways, Cordelia smiled up at him, her eyes full of warmth and affection. "Thank you for today, Julian. It meant a lot to me."

He squeezed her hand gently, his heart full. "And to me, Cordelia. More than you know."

They lingered for a moment, neither wanting to break the connection that had formed between them. Finally, with a shared look of understanding, they went their separate ways, with Julian noticing a new, more genuine smile playing on his wife's lips.

***

It was the morning after their first walk together, and Julian felt an unfamiliar lightness in his chest. Cordelia's words had lingered in his mind, echoing with a sincerity that touched him deeply. He had spent so long hiding behind his defences, convinced that his scars made him unworthy of genuine connection. But Cordelia had seen past them, and he felt a glimmer of hope for the first time in years.

Determined to keep this newfound connection alive, Julian decided to open up to her more. When he saw Cordelia in the morning light, her face brightened by a tentative smile, he could not help feeling a warmth spreading through him.

"Good morning, Cordelia," he greeted her, his tone more relaxed than it had been in years.

"Good morning, Julian. The weather is beautiful. Would you perhaps like to take another walk this morning?" Her voice was soft, carrying a note of eagerness.

"Actually," Julian began, feeling a surge of courage, "I thought I might show you some of my favourite places around the estate. If you are interested?"

Her eyes lit up, and she nodded enthusiastically. It was clear that she truly wanted to understand him. All of him. "I would love that."

He took her to the moors, where the heather bloomed in vibrant hues, creating a tapestry of colour against the rugged landscape.

"These moors are beautiful," Cordelia remarked, her eyes wide with wonder. "But I have heard they can be dangerous in the fog."

Julian nodded, his expression serious. "Yes, it is very easy to get lost. The fog can roll in quickly and disorient you. If you ever find yourself out here and the fog starts to come in, promise me you will head back immediately."

She looked up at him, her eyes full of trust. "I promise."

They continued their journey to the peaks, where the wind whipped around them, carrying with it the fresh scent of the sea. From the highest point, they could see the entire estate spread out below them, a patchwork of fields and forests, the manor standing proudly in the centre.

"This is breathtaking," Cordelia said, her voice filled with awe. "I can see why you love it here."

Julian glanced at her, a smile tugging at his lips. "It has always been a place of solace for me."

But that was not the only place that they travelled. Over the next few days, Julian and Cordelia settled into a daily walking routine. Their next destination was the lake, a serene expanse of water surrounded by ancient oaks and willows. As they walked along the shore, Cordelia skipped a stone across the surface, her laughter ringing out like music. Julian felt a pang of joy watching her, realizing how much he had missed life's simple pleasures.

Each day, as they explored new places, Julian opened up more and more.

"… it happened when I was eighteen," he declared, allowing his past to fly from his mouth. "My father was a kind man, but he had his vices. One of them was smoking cigars late into the night. He would often fall asleep with one still lit. One night, a stray ember caught on the curtains, and the fire spread quickly. I was in my room when I smelled the smoke."

Cordelia's hand found his, squeezing gently. Julian continued, the words coming more easily now.

"I ran to his room and saw the flames. My first instinct was to get him out. He was unconscious, likely from the smoke. I dragged him out of the bed and managed to pull him towards the door, but a beam from the ceiling gave way and hit me. It left my scar …"

As he shared stories of his childhood, dreams, and fears, Cordelia listened attentively, making him feel seen, truly seen, for the first time in years.

One afternoon, as they rested on a grassy knoll overlooking the estate, Cordelia turned to him with a look of relief. "I am so glad we are finally connecting, Julian. I have wanted to know you better for so long."

Julian took her hand, squeezing it gently. "And I, you, Cordelia. I have been ... closed off for so long. But you have shown me that it is alright to let someone in."

She smiled, her eyes shining with emotion. "I know it is hard, Julian. But together, we can help each other heal. I think that is the beauty of human nature. That we can assist one another in all this."

Julian felt a profound sense of gratitude and affection for the woman beside him. Their walks had not only bridged the gap between them but had also begun to mend the wounds they both carried. With each passing day, he felt an invisible weight lifting from his shoulders. The bond they forged during their daily walks had blossomed into something deeper, spreading into other parts of their lives.

In the mornings, they now shared tea, their conversations flowing easily as the steam curled upwards from their cups. Julian looked forward to these moments, where Cordelia's laughter lit up the room.

The routine they established brought a sense of stability and peace to Julian's life. As the days turned into weeks, he noticed a remarkable change within himself. The more time he spent with Cordelia, the more comfortable he became with her presence and surprisingly with his own scars. He often forgot about the isolation he had put himself in over the years, an indicator of just how profoundly Cordelia's acceptance had impacted him.

He never thought that would happen, so it was not a feeling he would ever take for granted. The smiles they shared were genuine, as was the warmth spreading through his body, thawing his icy exterior at long last.