Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

I n an attempt to cover up for our late-night escapade, Korth claimed that he had been testing the dumbwaiter’s load-bearing capacity the previous evening when he couldn’t sleep and broke it during one of his experiments. It took him so long to explain to the staff that by the time he would have been free to take me on our regular walk, his meetings for the day had already begun.

“He said he will take you on a walk this afternoon,” Tess said, dragging her feet as she flopped down in an armchair with a stack of papers in her lap. Her forehead was creased with lines as she reviewed some of the written testimonies given as evidence for the trial. She was too young to have been exposed to the harsh realities of the world already. Tess should have had many more years of a carefree childhood, but no. Just as I had been, she was thrust into the dark world’s underbelly. Just as I had been born to help instigate a civil war, she had been born to rule.

“How’s the trial coming along?” I probed gently.

Tess chewed on her lower lip. “Everyone says Peter did all these terrible things. Even he says so. My tutor told me that usually the accused will deny what they did, even if it’s true.”

“An honest murderer, that’s something new,” I joked, attempting to get Tess to smile again, but I was disappointed. Her pensive frown deepened.

“Do you think people deserve second chances?” she asked, her dark eyes large with concern.

I thought of Odette, and of all the heartache, sorrow, and suffering that she and her father had caused. “No, I don’t. People ought to pay for their crimes. If people have suffered because of a criminal, that criminal should be brought to justice, because no one should suffer.”

“Really? Have you never done anything bad?”

An icy hand clutched at my heart and my jaw clamped shut as I turned my thoughts away from Odette. I’d fed information to an underground rebellion my entire life. I’d committed crimes, yes…but only necessary ones. It was only my desire for justice that fueled my actions. Odette wouldn’t agree; if she’d had the option, I’d have been executed on the spot.

“I wish I could be as good as you,” Tess went on, taking my silence as confirmation. Then her voice got smaller. “I’ve done bad things before. I threw dirt at my governess and I put pebbles in Korth’s shoes.”

“Those are hardly crimes, though.”

“But it was still wrong. How am I supposed to know what is bad enough to be punished? When does something go from a little bad so they should be forgiven to bad enough to be…you know, executed?”

“I’m not a good person to ask that.” She ought to ask Korth. His moral compass was far stronger and more reliable than my own.

“Every person is still a person.” Her thin voice trembled. “Do I deserve to die because I did something wrong?”

“No, Tess, of course not. You’re a good person. But some people”—I thought of Odette and Raquel—“some people aren’t good. Being a leader, you have to realize that there are some people in the world who don’t want to make the right choices. No matter how many chances you give them, they will always choose bad things.”

“What if they promise to change and do better?”

“That works for children, but for criminals…it isn’t the same.”

Tess nodded slowly, and a forlorn expression stole over her features. “I didn’t know decisions would be this hard.”

“Luckily, you have a panel of judges to advise you,” I told her in an effort to cheer her up. “And you said he already pled guilty to the list of charges. So, he’s guilty.”

Tess sighed heavily. “I know he is. All the judges said so, too.” Her chin quivered. “But if I say that, he’s going to die because of me.”

“No, he will die because he made horrific choices. What he did isn’t your fault; it’s his. You just happen to be the person handing down the sentence that he earned for himself.”

Tess continued to stare at the documents in her hands. Names, many names, were signed at the bottom—Captain James Hook, Tinkerbell, and several others—all testifying that Peter Pan had committed the lengthy list of atrocities he’d been charged with. There was kidnapping children, imprisonment, abuse, murder; the list went on and on.

I thought back to Odette. She had taken children, forced them into servitude, imprisoned those who couldn’t pay taxes, and I’d seen her order the flogging of servants before. I’d sustained several lashings of my own at her command, and my back still bore the scars to prove it. While she may seem na?ve and foolish to some, I knew she could be cruel and ruthless when left unchecked.

“Trust me, Tess,” I told her seriously. “People like Peter Pan…they deserved to be punished.”

After Tess left, her voice echoed in my mind long after her footsteps had faded. Have you never done anything bad? I couldn’t even count my own crimes, but those were justified. If people would just take the time to listen, they would understand why I needed to do those things. Who was to say that Peter Pan’s actions weren’t justified as well?

When Korth came to take me for our walk that afternoon, I posed Tess’s conundrum to him, finally asking, “What do you think she should do?”

“Convict him.” Korth’s answer came quickly and confidently. “Criminals need to pay for their crimes.”

“I told her that, but now I’m not sure,” I mused, still lost in wondering how I would feel if I’d been put in Peter Pan’s position. If my crimes were listed off to any court, they would convict me in a heartbeat, and I would be guilty as charged.

“I gave her this case because it’s an easy one. Some things are never excusable, and he’s done several of those things.”

I drew closer to Korth as we strolled in the gardens, breathing in the fragrant scents of the summer blooms, but couldn’t let the topic drop. “Where’s the line? How can you determine what is bad enough to execute someone?”

“A criminal taking someone’s life is never acceptable. Everyone can agree on that,” Korth began, but even that made my heart squeeze and I lost track of what he said next. I had been one of the few to champion keeping Odette alive, but that didn’t address the fact that I was actively trying to begin a revolution in which many people would undoubtedly die. Although I didn’t want to be the one to administer the final killing blow, I knew I would stand aside and allow Odette and Raquel to be killed when the time came. Would that make me just as guilty as whoever held the weapon? For so long, I’d lamented that apathy and reservation were what held our nation back from overthrowing our current king, but now…was I just as apathetic and hesitant to take action?

“Did you hear me?” Korth asked.

I startled. “No, I’m sorry. I was lost in thought.”

“I asked what you think a reasonable punishment would be for lying under oath.”

“Didn’t you just lie this morning about the dumbwaiter?” I asked quietly with a quick look at Godfrey trailing behind us. “What should your sentence be?”

“That was to protect your reputation, and I wasn’t under oath.”

“So, as long as you have a reason, it’s justified?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m not a criminal.”

I sighed. “Sometimes it’s too easy for me to see the criminal’s motivations and sympathize.”

Korth halted, his expression confused. “When would you ever be able to sympathize with a criminal’s motivations?”

“For example”—I cast my thoughts around and they settled on the woman I’d watched have her children dragged away from her—“what if a mother didn’t have enough food for her children and she stole in order to feed them? Does she deserve to be imprisoned?”

“She should reach out to the authorities who provide—” Korth began.

“But what if she didn’t know? What if the authorities took too long? That’s a process that could take a long time, and her children were hungry right then.”

“You’re dealing with extremes. Most cases won’t be like that. There are systems in place to help.”

“But sometimes the systems fail us. What then?”

“Then we fix the system.”

“Again, that takes time. Scared, hungry people can’t think rationally. If your child is starving, you won’t stop to abide by the laws. You’ll feed your child. Isn’t that a parent’s role? To always provide for their sons and daughters?”

“Well, yes…”

“So sometimes, a right justifies a wrong. Yes, stealing is wrong, but it would be more wrong to watch your child starve when you could have prevented it.”

I could almost feel Korth’s mind working furiously to fit the problem’s puzzle pieces together and find a way in which one solution would abide by all the rules. His shoulders became more rigid, and the arm I held tensed.

In order to spare him from answering right away, I noted, “I think the intent of the criminal plays a large role. If they were working toward a good cause, their less honorable actions could be more excusable.”

“But we have rules for a reason!” Korth burst out, propelling his feet forward again. “We can’t condone every action simply because a person had noble intentions.”

“No, but I’m saying that in order for a ruler to be just, they must look at all the perspectives.”

“What about those who are attacking your father? You could never justify their actions. Your father, the ruler of your kingdom, is suffering because of criminals. Do you think they have justification?”

The air between us thickened, and my heart plummeted. As much as I wished I could open up to Korth and tell him the truth, it would only drive a wedge between us. I ran my tongue across the back of my teeth, taking great care with how to phrase my response, but nothing I came up with seemed adequate.

“You see?” Korth’s tone softened. “Some people cannot be forgiven. Those who rebelled in your kingdom, Peter Pan…those people already chose their fate long ago, and they knew the consequences when they committed their crimes.”

My throat closed up. “You’re right,” I whispered. “They all knew exactly what they were doing.”

He would never understand.

I was finalizing some wedding details that evening when I heard an outburst just outside my door.

“You mean he went free?” Korth’s heated voice permeated the walls. As the servants hurried out with my final choices of flower arrangements and seating assignments, the door was open so the next bit of conversation drifted in.

“Life in prison is hardly walking away free, but he wasn’t sentenced to execution, no.” Godfrey’s droning voice would normally put me to sleep, but talk of an execution had me instantly alert.

“She heard all the evidence against him, didn’t she?” Korth sounded much more upset than I had ever heard him before, even more upset than he had been during our brief argument earlier, and I inclined my ear to the open door. Korth and Godfrey were in the hallway beyond, trying to keep their voices low, but failing as tension rose.

“—all week, Your Majesty. She said it would be unjust to sentence a child to death, no matter his crimes.”

“He’s not a child though,” Korth growled. “This was supposed to be a simple case. Peter Pan deserves to die for what he’s done. He even admitted it!”

“I’m sorry, Your Highness, I’m simply relaying the information I was sent to pass on?—”

Korth let out an irritated huff. “I know, I know.” After several deep breaths, he went on, “Send for Tess. I’d like to discuss it with her.”

Godfrey’s footsteps retreated, and I poked my head out the door.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t want to interrupt you and it seems that I failed.”

“Tess let Peter Pan off?”

“Life in prison, so not getting off entirely, but now…” He sighed heavily. “I thought this would be a simple case for her.” He leaned against the wall and ran a hand down his face.

“What was your first case? Do you remember?”

“A man had impersonated one of the royal guard in order to demand taxes from citizens. He stole a great deal of money.”

“What sentence did you give him? Surely not death.”

“No,” Korth agreed. “He had to repay what he had taken and served five years in a workhouse.”

“Death would be a difficult sentence to pass down for someone’s first trial.”

Korth buried his face into his hands. “I didn’t think about that.”

The footman opened the door at the end of the hallway and trumpeted, “Her Highness, Princess Tess.”

“Yes, yes, I know my sister’s name,” Korth said irritably.

Tess’s chin was jutted out defiantly, but her bottom lip quivered.

“Tess,” Korth said as he crouched down to be on eye level with Tess, who was staring at the floor. “Why didn’t you order the execution?”

Tess’s eyes welled with tears, but she put her fists on her hips. “He told me he was sorry. I snuck out at night to talk to him in his cell, and he said he felt bad about what he did.”

Korth closed his eyes and drew in a long, steadying breath. “Of course he told you that, Tess. He’s a criminal and will lie and manipulate anyone he can for his own ends. You heard the stories about how he’s done that in the past.”

“If he was going to lie, he would’ve said he was innocent,” she protested. “Instead, he told me the truth. He said he knew what he did was wrong and that he’s sorry.”

Korth pinched the bridge of his nose. The veins on his temple throbbed as blood pulsed through them. “Tess,” he said in a voice of forced calm. “I know you’re trying to be kind. But this is actually a worse sentence for him. Now, he will have a lifetime of loneliness and isolation in a prison cell. It would have been a kinder fate to spare him from the suffering.”

Tess’s forehead puckered. “I didn’t think of that,” she admitted slowly. “But isn’t that a fitting punishment if he held those other boys hostage for a long time?”

Korth tilted his head to one side, considering. “Perhaps so,” he conceded.

“And he won’t be alone all the time. Aren’t there other people there? He could be friends with a guard.” A glimmer of hope shone in her eyes. “Or another prisoner. They could talk to each other and play games, and…”

Korth let out a hollow laugh. “That isn’t the way prisons work, little shadow. He’s going to be alone most of the time.”

“Oh.” Tess’s face fell again. “I made a mistake, didn’t I?”

“You didn’t make a mistake. You’re just learning, and that’s hard.” Korth wrapped her into a hug. “It’s going to be okay. We can file an appeal and I can take the case if you don’t want to. Or Mother; she just got back.”

She drew in a shuddering breath and let out a quiet sob. “I’m sorry I made a mistake, but I still don’t want him to die. He said he was sorry.”

“No, it was a mistake on my part to expect that of you. I’m the one who’s sorry, little shadow. I asked too much of you.”

“You want him to die.” Tears trickled down Tess’s face.

“I never want anyone to die, but a person like that…he’s a criminal who knowingly committed atrocities. He harmed other people on purpose, and we can’t have anyone like that going free. If they are punished, they asked for it by committing those crimes.”

My brief desire from before, about wanting to tell Korth the truth, was immediately squashed again. I clamped my jaws together, trying to ignore how my palms grew sweaty and my breath quickened.

Korth gave his sister’s shoulder a light squeeze, then wiped the tears from her face. “It’s late; you should get some sleep. Don’t worry, we’ll get everything sorted out. You did the best you could, and I’m proud of you for that. You have a good heart.”

Tess was led out by Korth, and I quietly shut the door after them and pressed my head against the wood.

There were too many people depending on me. I couldn’t fail them, but in order to succeed, I had to maintain my fa?ade. My goal was to free my people from their suffering, even if it came at the cost of my own personal happiness. It wouldn’t be much longer. Once the ships were sent, I would tell Korth the truth.

My gaze drifted over to the ornate full-length mirror. In its reflection, I saw not a princess or even a handmaiden, merely a traitor caught in an intricate web of lies and deceit. I was an imposter, nothing more, and the guilt of my deception gnawed at my soul. If only I could find a way to save my people without losing myself and my heart in the process. My stomach turned as I remembered that it wasn’t just my happiness at stake. Korth had professed to love me—it would destroy him to know of my betrayal.