Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

A s we walked slowly back to the castle, after the hubbub had died down and we’d retrieved our portrait from the artist, I posed a question to Korth. “Do you truly believe that people can love unconditionally?”

“Of course. Don’t you?”

I considered it. “I think people want to believe that they can love unconditionally, but I don’t know if they fully realize what that would require.”

“How so? You just…you just simply choose to love them anyway, even with their flaws.”

“But what if the other person does something to hurt them? What if…what if a couple vows to love each other unconditionally, and the husband is unfaithful to his wife? Should she still love him even though he betrayed her trust?”

Korth’s brows furrowed. “If he cheated, then he would have lied when he said that he would always love her. If you truly love someone, you would never do anything to hurt them.”

“But what if…what if I did something to hurt you?”

“You wouldn’t, though.” Korth grinned as if it was some big joke. “What, are you planning to run off with someone else?”

“No, I’d never do that. But there are more ways to hurt someone than cheating on them. That was just an example.”

“Even if other people aren’t true to their vows, we’re different. Neither of us would do something like that. I would never do anything that would hurt you in any way.”

I swallowed the lump rising in my throat. “I don’t want you to ever get hurt, either,” I whispered. If only it were as simple as choosing what was right.

A brisk wind ruffled the feathers on my mask. I shivered, and Korth instantly whipped off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders. “You’ll be cold,” I protested, but Korth shook his head.

“Keep it. You need it more than I do.”

I couldn’t help but feel warmed, not only by the jacket but by his chivalry as well. Ever since meeting Korth, I’d been waiting for him to show the same signs of selfishness and entitlement that I’d grown to expect from all royalty. Even with other men like Curdy, there was always the expectation that they would watch out for themselves first and everyone else second. But Korth…he was different. He genuinely cared. Instead of feeling obligated to shower him with praise as a transactional exchange, I wanted to show my appreciation for his caring for me.

When he had finished wrapping the jacket around my shoulders, he went to let go of me, but I caught his hands. “Korth, I love you. I hope you know that.”

He smiled, a look of pure elation on his face. “I love you too.”

As we snuck over the footbridge, Korth pulled me to a stop. “Don’t forget our new tradition.”

“We might get spotted.”

“Isn’t that part of the fun?” he asked, drawing me in. His kiss this time was brief. It left me wanting more but also despising myself for taking advantage of Korth’s guileless nature. Someone like him ought to be preserved, not exploited. The inner conflict boiled within me, churning and bubbling so I was torn between confessing my sins and running away to protect Korth from a traitor like me. How dreadful to have my selfish desires align with the needs of my people at the expense of his trust.

As we snuck back into the castle, retrieved our original clothing, and made our way down the hall toward the dumbwaiter, Korth beamed at me, so perfectly happy that I couldn’t help but love him a little bit more with each of his smiles.

Since my guilt kept nudging me, it was easier than before to keep my hands to myself this time as Korth pulled the dumbwaiter back up to my room. I pushed the doors open but didn’t get out. I tapped my finger on the edge of the small portrait sitting on the dumbwaiter’s floor.

“Bridges and dumbwaiters in the same night, plus a portrait and our first kiss. I can’t imagine a better person to sneak out with,” I told him, tracing my finger along his jawline.

“Nor can I.” Korth leaned over to kiss me, but as his grip on the rope slackened, the dumbwaiter gave a heart-stopping lurch and we plummeted a few feet. The dumbwaiter’s doors splintered and snapped off their hinges before Korth redoubled his hold on the rope with a gasp of surprise while I clapped my hand over my mouth to muffle my scream. “Sorry; I forgot to set the brake.”

“Do you think anyone heard?” I asked in alarm, staring around at the broken splinters of wood scattered around the dumbwaiter’s floor.

“Probably. Better hurry.” With a slight grunt of effort, he pulled the dumbwaiter back to my room and snapped the brake into place. We looked at each other, then both began to laugh nervously, smothering the sound with our hands.

“Nothing like a near-death experience to end a romantic date,” I told him. “Thank you for tonight. I’m glad you decided to be an honorable escapee and escort me.” I clambered out of the dumbwaiter while Korth hastily swept all the cracked bits of wood from the cabinet back into the dumbwaiter to remove any evidence of wrongdoing from my room. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I love you,” Korth quietly called out as he began lowering himself to his own room, the splintered remains of the dumbwaiter’s door swinging sadly. “So much.”

That night when I crawled into bed, I realized I’d never given Korth his jacket back. I buried my nose into the sleeves, much too long for me, and breathed deeply, inhaling the masculine scent that always lingered around Korth. I kept the jacket wrapped around me as I pulled the blankets over myself. If I closed my eyes and focused on the smell, I was able to imagine that it was Korth lying next to me.

Once we were married, it would be. I would like that, I decided. Korth had a way about him that always left me feeling safe and secure. It would be a wonderful change to sleep next to someone whom I knew I could trust implicitly. I dozed off to sleep imagining a future in which Korth was always at my side and had never felt happier.

Waking up the next morning brought none of the transcendent happiness I’d felt the night before. What had possessed me to toy with the affections of a man who was so honest and trusting? The murmurs of my maids had roused me. “Broken to bits; His Highness said he forgot to close the doors when he called for a late-night meal. Rubbish, if you ask me. That man never forgets a thing, everyone knows he never eats at night, and the bell never rang to call someone to the dumbwaiter.”

The memory of Korth’s momentary distraction in setting the brake that caused the dumbwaiter doors to splinter burst back into my mind in full color. My chest seized with anxiety. Did they know?

“Covering for Tess again, no doubt. She’s been disappearing from time to time in the last week and it would be just like him to take the blame. Godfrey said he was going to ask.”

“Did you see that rope burn on his hand? It wasn’t there yesterday, then he just happens to have it today when the dumbwaiter is broken?” One of the maids tsked, and there was the sharp snap of sheets being shaken out.

“You don’t think he was in there, do you?” another gasped in an undertone.

“There doesn’t seem to be any other explanation; his guards said he didn’t leave his room all night and the dumbwaiter is large enough for him to fit into.”

“You don’t suppose he came here to see…” Their voices became so hushed that I couldn’t decipher their words anymore. As discreetly as possible, I tried to shove Korth’s jacket toward my feet, under the blankets and out of sight. Had they noticed? I would have to dispose of it as soon as possible; I didn’t want his reputation sullied.

If the members of the rebellion knew about it, they would undoubtedly want to spread the rumors and urge the marriage date forward. Korth said he loved me, and I had no doubt that he would do the honorable thing and marry me if my reputation was called into question, but now that the prospect was at hand, I couldn’t imagine subjecting Korth to such a life. Even if our marriage was inevitably annulled after my true identity was discovered, I couldn’t do that to him. We both were already emotionally invested, whatever I had tried to convince myself of otherwise. Even though the ships hadn’t been sent yet, perhaps the time to confess had finally come. I owed Korth the truth.