Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

T he sprawling garden was littered with benches where couples sat, heads inclined toward each other and unaware of their surroundings. Amused, I cast an eye over at Korth, who resolutely plowed down the graveled path, boots scrunching over loose pebbles.

“Sorry,” he whispered, all humor gone as he delved into the heart of the gardens. “I didn’t realize it would be so crowded. I don’t want you to think my intentions are anything less than honorable. I just thought…the bridge is here and I wanted to show you…”

“You need us to be alone to show me something new?” I squeezed his hand. “How romantic.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Korth babbled.

“So you aren’t trying to be romantic? You aren’t interested in wooing me?”

“I…I…didn’t mean that, either. I just?—”

“I’m teasing,” I told him softly. “It’s okay to flirt back, you know. We are going to be married soon. Some flirting is expected.”

“It should be called flustering,” he sighed. “I never know how to respond.”

I laughed quietly. “It’s cute to see you flustered.”

He rolled his eyes. “Is that why you do it so much?”

“It’s much more entertaining than being engaged to someone who always acts perfect. I would feel inadequate in comparison if I knew you had no flaws.”

“You? I can’t believe that. The bridge is there.” Korth pointed up ahead, where the moon’s silvery light shone down on an elegant bridge that rose over a duck pond. At the crest of the bridge, a small gazebo stood, with pillars supporting it so people could admire the view of the pond from above.

We made our way to the top. Another couple was there, but with a hasty glance at us, they hurried off to find a more secluded corner of the gardens. Music from the festival floated to us on the breeze and the ghostly, shimmering full moon was reflected on the rippling water below. The silver light shone through the cross-like designs that ran around the gazebo’s upper perimeter and cast shadows on the bridge at our feet.

I leaned my head on Korth’s shoulder. “It’s beautiful.”

“Odette…” Korth shook his head in amazement at me, his eyes growing sad. “You’re amazing.”

The return to my false name struck my ears like a frying pan to the head. “It’s Dahlia tonight, remember? Don’t blow my cover now, Heath . And how does my being amazing explain your sudden melancholy?”

He took several moments before he answered. “You’re intelligent, beautiful, confident…If it weren’t for an arranged marriage, you wouldn’t be here. Even just now at the festival, you were the one who realized what was about to happen, and it wasn’t even me who protected you. It sometimes feels like…it feels like you don’t need me.”

I held onto his lapels and tugged him forward, so he was forced into a leaning position. “Then make me want you.”

He tucked a loose curl behind my ear, his fingers lingering in my hair for much longer than necessary. His eyes held the same intense look that I had imagined in my dream, and I couldn’t resist the flush creeping up my neck and into my cheeks. Scenes from my night-time musings exploded back into my mind in full color and with every sensation amplified to triple what I had felt before.

Instead of pulling away, Korth skated his other hand across my back. I made a valiant effort to remember that this was the goal—to have him fall madly in love with me. But staring back into his deep brown eyes, I lost my resolve to think of him as any sort of project.

I fingered the buckles that ran up his chest, lingering on the top-most one, which was undone, before raising to pull the mask off his face. My heart began fluttering, my chest and stomach alive with a butterfly sensation that only intensified the longer I held Korth at arm’s length.

“I’m glad it’s you I’m engaged to.” Korth’s voice had dropped so low and deep that I felt the vibrations tingling in my chest. I wanted him to kiss me so badly that my lips ached. Korth seemed to be thinking along the same lines. His eyes hungrily searched my face and fixed on my mouth. I felt rent in two. On one hand, I desperately wanted to forget my duties and give in to the intense emotions swirling around my heart, pulling me closer to Korth with every breath I took. But also…I knew that eventually, the truth would come out. It would crush Korth to know he was in love with someone who had lied to him and manipulated him all along.

As Korth drew nearer to me, I frantically tried to make up my mind. I nearly managed to pull away, but Korth gently loosened the knot securing my mask so it fell to the ground, his fingers hooking around the back of my head, and my willpower didn’t extend as far as resisting.

“Dahlia,” he whispered, drawing me in just as he had during my dream. “I love you.”

The use of my name was my undoing.

“I love you too…Korth,” I whispered, so close that the tips of our noses touched and we shared the air between our mouths. How I wished I could be the noble and honorable princess that he deserved. If only I could find a way that would aid the rebellion in righting the wrongs in Ebora without Korth’s heart being caught in the middle. Until I was discovered and convicted, was it so bad to lose myself in a tiny moment of happiness?

“May I—” Korth rasped.

“Please do.”

When Korth kissed me the first time, he proceeded cautiously, barely brushing his lips against mine as his hand grazed my waist. The brief sensation broke a dam in my chest I hadn’t known was there, releasing a flood of emotions that had a mind of their own. I clutched at Korth’s shirt, kissing him back far more intensely than he had done to me, breathing in his scent and wishing he would hold me so close that all air vanished from my lungs.

He exhaled sharply through his nose but began returning my kisses with equal fervor as his hands explored my back and burrowed through my hair. Kissing him suddenly seemed more important than breathing. There was nothing more important than staying locked in our embrace. For a few minutes, I was able to forget my loyalties and lose myself to Korth, ignoring every other demand, every other thought. So this was what it felt like to be loved and to love someone back.

Korth pulled back first, his eyes filled with a wild happiness that was foreign to his face, but that suited him. “I’m so lucky to have you, Odette.”

Shame slithered back in with the use of Odette’s name, nudging guilt to eat away at my heart. I was already an imposter who had taken advantage of Korth’s position in so many ways. Did I really have to knowingly break his heart as well?

But what if…I searched for any glimmer of hope that would allow me to retain the ecstasy from a few moments before. What if the rebellion was never discovered? I would need to stay married to Korth forever. No, I would get to stay married to him.

My guilty feelings intensified as I remembered why I had futilely tried to resist falling for Korth in the first place. It had been so easy to maintain my protective emotional shield with Princess Odette, but with Korth… why did he have to make things so difficult? I tried to imagine what would happen once he realized the extent of my deception. Him and his rule-loving self… He would hate me forever. The thought went through me like a knife.

I couldn’t bear the thought of Korth hating me, but was one person really worth sacrificing my entire country’s future for? No matter what, both Korth and I would suffer because of my betrayal. But if I had never taken this mission in the first place, my people would forever suffer with neglectful, selfish rulers. Surely, the good of the many outweighed any damage. As much as I wanted to be, I couldn’t be selfish.

I pulled my thoughts back to the moment at hand. “Isn’t it fun not having a chaperone?” My fingers followed the seams on his sleeves all the way up to his shoulders.

“I can certainly see why it’s required for us to have one until we’re married.” He grazed my lips again, the music from the festival still flowing around us. “This is a little too much fun.”

“I propose that for every bridge we stand on together, we have to kiss at the top.”

Korth cupped the back of my head and inclined his head toward me. “That sounds like an excellent tradition. Life can’t get better than that.”

As I parted my lips, a slight movement over his shoulder caught my eye. Someone or something had ducked out of sight behind a bush at the water’s edge. Recalling our attacker from before, I shrank against Korth.

“What?” Korth asked, turning to follow my gaze.

“I thought I saw…” From the bushes, I spotted a crouched figure scurrying away whose profile was all too familiar. It was just Curdy again. I sighed in relief. He was probably just checking on me. “It was nothing. Just a couple trying to sneak off.”

“How scandalous.”

“So scandalous,” I told him, leaning back against him and reveling in our lack of a chaperone. “What rule-breakers.”

Korth and I secured our masks back in place and leaned against the railing that ran around the gazebo’s edge atop the bridge, gazing down at the pond below.

“There’s a tradition—” Korth began.

“I thought we just came up with one.”

“There’s an old tradition that goes back more than a hundred years about this bridge in particular,” Korth amended. “Couples often come here to exchange vows.”

“You mean they get married here?”

“No, they exchange vows. Look.” He indicated a table that had small strips of paper secured under a rock. “They write down what they promise to always give the other and drop them into the vase.” A large, open-mouthed vase was at the edge of the gazebo.

“What sort of promises?”

“That they will always care for the other, always be honest with each other, that sort of thing.”

My abdomen clenched at the second suggestion. How long could I continue this fa?ade without the guilt consuming me?

Korth, unaware of my internal struggle, had uncorked the ink bottle and scribbled down a vow. With trembling fingers, I did the same.

“Odette, I vow to always be honest with you. I promise to love you unconditionally and to always put you as my top priority. When we get married, I want you to never doubt me or my feelings for you.” He dropped his vow into the vase, beaming at me.

My heart shriveled and tears threatened to pool in my eyes. Korth deserved someone much better than I was. I cleared my throat several times and read my own vows. “Korth, you are the first man I’ve ever truly trusted and honestly believed that you wanted what was best for me. Even if your feelings for me do change someday, I promise to always love you, no matter what happens.”

I clutched the paper. How I wished I could also vow to be honest with Korth, but I couldn’t. As great as my feelings for Korth were, I couldn’t let down the thousands of people who were depending on me. It was only until we received word that the coup had been successful, I told myself. Then, I would come clean with Korth. He deserved that. Even if he hated me forever afterward, he deserved the truth.

The paper fluttered out of my fingers and into the vase.