Chapter 8 - Rosa

The sun is warm on my face, and if I close my eyes, I can almost trick myself into believing I'm back in California, on the beach with Kaila. I hear the girls screaming again, and my heart jumps before I open my eyes. I see Bigby swimming around in the water with them like he's a shark.

"He's really good with kids," Linnea says, using her fan to cool her face. Aris got to work setting her up a little chair with an awning when we arrived. He brought one for me, too, and now I feel like beach royalty.

I let my eyes track back to Bigby and how comfortable Kaila is with him. Having just been raised around me and Olivia, I didn't think she would grow to like anyone else—and especially not a man—right away. But Bigby has her on his shoulder and spins her around before dropping her into the water.

"You just have two?" I ask, lowering my shades and looking at her. Linnea grins, wiggling her hips in her chair.

"For now," she says, and I chuckle, shaking my head.

"I can't imagine having more. It's like Kaila is my entire world."

"Your world just gets bigger," Linnea says, shrugging. "Your capacity for love expands. I know, with the first one, it feels like you'll never love anyone that much. I was terrified—before Percy was born, I was so scared I'd used up all my love on Araya. And then they set him in my arms, and my heart got bigger."

"Hmm," I say, not convinced. I'm not sure loving is even the question—it's been Kaila and I for so long, adding another to the dynamic would be strange. I watch Bigby splash his whole body into the water, sending a wave over the girls. They scream and giggle when he surfaces again, rolling in the water like a whale.

Earlier, when he'd stripped his shirt off to get in, I'd had to avert my eyes. I can't deny the pull my body has on him—first, there's the obvious fact that he's attractive. It doesn't hurt that he could literally move mountains, either. There's also the fact that I know Bigby—I know what he's like in bed. I remember distinctly what a well-practiced lover he was. I wonder if he's had any practice since the night he left me.

I scoop some sand into my fist and watch it fall onto the beach. This is nothing like the sand in California, but it will have to do until we can go back.

Another more adult-sounding giggle breaks out across the beach, and I glance over where Olivia and Byron are standing together. From the look of it, Olivia used the sandcastle bucket to dump water on Byron, who was now chasing her across the beach.

Unluckily for him, the three of us have a lot of experience moving in sand, and I get the feeling Byron isn't used to the terrain. At the last moment, he lunges for her, getting his arms around her torso and lifting her into the air.

"Wow," Linnea says, pushing her sunglasses back onto her glasses. "I've never seen Byron look at anything but his computer screen for that long."

"Olivia is a whiz at computer stuff," I say, "don't ask me what , specifically, but she's been a huge part of taking care of Kaila for this long. We split the expenses. I just hope the house is there when we get back. Knowing my dad, he burnt it to the ground just to make sure we'd have only ashes left."

"God," Linnea says, putting her hand to her mouth, "that bad?"

"My father is the most ruthless man I've met in my life," I say, cutting my eyes to her. "I don't like to talk about it a lot, but I wouldn't exactly say I had a…happy childhood."

"I feel like that's a common refrain, when it comes to alpha children," Linnea sighs. "I won't say it was anything close to what you went through, but Aris has dealt with his fair share of issues. His dad was just so strict with him. Forced him away, left an opening for Varun to fill."

"Varun?"

"Oh," Linnea says, laughing. "I keep forgetting that you're not from around here. You already fit in so well. He was this rogue alpha in charge of the Rosecreek pack while Aris was gone. Remember what I told you about the serum? That's the rogue alpha who was developing it."

Linnea fills me in on the story, including the friend they lost and the traitor on the team. My mind keeps sticking on this idea of the serum—and what I could do to help find the antidote.

"Other than that, and other than the recent stuff with the humans, Rosecreek is the perfect place to raise a family," Linnea says, and I don't miss the way she glances at me. "Bigby even has his own house here in the city limits. It belonged to his parents, but they moved away right before Varun took over—and decided to cruise around the world in their retirement. He'll go weeks without talking to them while they're somewhere without service, then they'll call and fill him in on their adventures."

I think back to when we were dating in college. One time, Bigby's parents came to visit the campus. It was one of the few fights we had back then. He wanted me to meet them, I said there was no point. I knew it would only hurt more if I met his family, saw how wonderful they were, and then never got to see them again once my dad married me off to some powerful shifter clan in Southern California.

My gaze wanders back down to the beach, and I see Bigby still down there, playing with the girls, except Aris has joined them. Giggles echo up the sand.

I didn't know what growing up in a supportive pack was like. Men in my father's pack knew better than to touch me, but that didn't mean they were respectful or kind. Watching Kaila as she plays in the water with Araya and the men—I want this for her. I want her to grow up with male role models. With a supportive pack.

When I think about letting my guard down and letting Kaila experience childhood the way she should, a sense of relaxation courses through my body.

But as long as my father is still alive, neither of us is safe.

My brain holds onto something Linnea said.

"What stuff with the humans?"

"Oh," she says, looking down at her lap, her face falling. "There have been human disappearances lately. The humans are worried because not a single shifter has been affected—though, if it's some sort of human serial killer, they would be unlikely to go after a shifter if they know, and very unlikely to best one, if they don't. But that argument doesn't exactly put the humans at ease. Part of the appeal of living here is that we tend to keep them safe with our presence. Without that, tension rises."

I stare at Linnea as she talks. She sounds like a politician—which, I kind of suppose she is. It would be what my life turned into if I was married off to some alpha. I shiver at the thought.

Respecting Linnea for what she does is one thing. Wanting it for myself is another.

"You have no idea why the humans are disappearing?" I ask. The idea of it troubles me. It seems like a serial killer wouldn't care much about the difference between an adult human and a shifter child. Each is powerless.

"Hey," someone says, and I look up to see Olivia standing over me. She smiles and waves at Linnea, who waves back. I glance around at Olivia on either side.

"Where's Byron?" I ask, to which she wrinkles her nose.

"How would I know?"

"It just seems like the two of you are getting along," I tease.

"You and Linnea are getting along. Does that mean—"

"Touche, touché," I say before Olivia can say something that embarrasses me. I get to my feet and brush the sand from my hands while standing.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Olivia asks, her eyes darting to Kaila with the same frequency as mine. She's a strong swimmer—has been around the water her whole life, but it's always when you look away that something happens. Even adults can get sucked into a riptide or breathe in water from an unexpectedly big wave.

"Yes," I say, hearing my knee pop. "I could use a good stretching out."

"I'm staying here," Linnea says, tipping her head back against her chair. "I delivered two babies this week. I need a break."

"Well deserved," Olivia says before we turn and head back down the beach.

It's not the same as the ocean—the sand is a little grayer, and the water is a little less blue, but it still feels good to be near a big body of water.

"I agree," Olivia says, and I roll my eyes. While living together, we developed something of our own little pack bond. Even if we can't exactly communicate in words, many times, our feelings make it through.

"It's strange watching Kaila with him," I murmur.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Absolutely not," I say, turning to Olivia with sharp eyes. "He left. That's what men do—they leave you. When you need them most. Bigby is the only person on this planet that I trusted to protect me from my father, and the second he found out I was pregnant, he ran away like a coward. All the muscle in the world doesn't help if you're on the other side of the country."

Olivia is quiet for a long moment, and I take the opportunity to speak again.

"Oh, please, don't tell me you're on his side?"

"I'm not on his side ," Olivia says, giving me a hurt look. "You know I'm on your side, always. But—seeing Kaila with him. There's an obvious connection there. Everyone on the beach can see it. And Kaila deserves—"

"I know what she deserves . But everything up to this point has been about keeping her alive. What happens when I tell Bigby, and we stick around, and my dad comes to get us, and Bigby vanishes?"

"I don't think he's going to do that."

"Evidence proves otherwise."

"Linnea wouldn't let that happen."

"Linnea wouldn't stand a chance against my father—can she even shift?"

"I don't think so. I'm not sure. I get that vibe from her."

"Well, that proves my point."

"Okay, Aris wouldn't let that happen, then."

I chew on my bottom lip, and Olivia raises an eyebrow.

"You really don't think Aris could beat your dad? According to these guys, he took out an alpha that was using chemical warfare ."

"Yeah, but my dad isn't alpha because of his brute strength. That's part of it, definitely, but he's just—he feels no shame. I once—I once watched him drop a baby over the side of a cliff , Olivia. I don't know how to explain to everyone that he's a psychopath. He would beat Aris because my father wouldn't hesitate to kill every single woman and child in this town. Aris wouldn't let that happen. He would sacrifice himself first."

Olivia is quiet for a long moment.

"Are you telling the truth about the baby?"

I suck in a breath, trying to fight the onslaught of images that flood into my brain.

"Yes."

"Jesus, Rosa, why haven't you told me about that before?"

"Because it's—I don't like to talk about it. I'm only telling you because I'm trying to get you to understand how it felt. For Bigby to leave."

"Okay. That makes sense. But I—"

"Mommy?"

I turn around to see Kaila and Araya standing a few feet away from us in the sand, having run to catch up with us. I scan Kaila's face—how much of this conversation did she hear?

"Biggie said to come eat," Araya says sweetly, giggling and turning around, skipping back the way she came.

"Hey, honey," I say, tucking Kaila under my arm as we walk toward the rest of them. Up by Linnea, Bigby is manning a beach grill, sliding servings onto plates. I watch him and the way his muscles flex as he moves. The ease he has around these people. They are his family.

"Mommy, are we living here now?" Kaila asks, drawing my attention away from the scene further up the beach.

"No, honey," I say, kissing her on the head. "Just think of it like a vacation."

"We've never had a vacation before."

"No," I say, my heart twisting, "we haven't. So let's try to enjoy it."