Track 21 I Can Do it with a Broken Heart

I half expected Gage to follow me, for him to try to make this right. But he doesn't.

And fuck does that hurt.

I stumble through the halls until I find a ladies' room and push through the door with one hand, the other I hold to my mouth, trying to stifle the sobs attempting to burst through my trembling lips.

I cannot have a complete meltdown right now. I can't ruin the makeup so carefully applied to my skin, and I can't do the interview with red puffy eyes. The entire world will think I'm upset to be joining the Cordova pack.

Which couldn't be further from the truth.

I'm overjoyed.

Or at least I was until Gage gave me an ultimatum. I didn't even know that people do that in real life. How could he do that to me? I thought he loved me.

But if he did, wouldn't he want me to be happy? Wouldn't he want to be happy with me?

I stumble to the sink and grip the white porcelain, keeping my head tilted down away from the mirror because I don't think I can take seeing the devastation on my face.

The one on Gage's that keeps replaying in my mind is bad enough. My fingers tremble as I turn on the faucet, letting cool water run over my hands and wrists. I want so badly to splash some water on my face, to wash away the evidence of my tears, but that will destroy whatever's left of my makeup and I know we don't have enough time for a full glam up the way we did before.

I take a deep breath and shut off the water, then dry my hands with a paper towel. Another deep breath to prepare, and I look at myself in the mirror.

I look like a girl who's just had my heart broken.

There's no way around that, because it's true.

"You can do this, Sorrel," I encourage the girl in the mirror. "You've spent your life pretending. You can do it for just a little longer. Even with a broken heart."

I nod to myself once and carefully pat at my cheeks to dry the tears from them, trying not to smear my makeup, but I'm unsuccessful. Which means I need to move now, so I can get touched up before it's time to go in front of the camera.

I don't want to. I really don't want to. It was bad enough before my argument with Gage, but now? Now I'm devastated and tear soaked and heartbroken, and the idea of sitting in front of a camera and pretending to be happy and excited is… painful.

Not that I'm not happy and excited, I am. I'm beyond ecstatic that we're taking this step, that the Cordova pack wants me enough to announce it to the world. I'm just not in the right frame of mind at the moment.

But it doesn't matter.

It needs to be done and so I will do it.

I smile at myself in the mirror. It's shaky and tremulous and not at all convincing.

So I stand there for a few minutes, stretching my lips, plumping my cheeks until it looks more natural, even if it feels fake.

Once that's done, I toss the paper towel and leave the restroom, not giving myself a chance to second guess this. They want me and I want them. If Gage can't see that… I cut off the thought as more tears threaten.

Now is not the time.

I let out a breath when I find Gray lingering in the hall outside the doors that lead to the studio where I was told the interview would take place.

"Where's Liam and Rafe?" I ask, coming to a stop next to Grayson. I expect him to ask about the tears on my face, my red puffy eyes. But he doesn't, he just stares at me stonily.

"I'm sorry about that," I say, swiping at my cheeks. "Gage- Um…. nevermind. I think I'm going to need a touch up on my makeup." I look around for the makeup artist who was so nice to me, and eased my worries, but I don't see her. In fact, I don't see anyone except the camera guy who is packing up his equipment. My brow furrows, even as a flicker of relief moves through me. As much as I want to announce my relationship with the Cordova pack to the world, I don't think I'm in the right frame of mind for it.

Still, I thought this was happening today. It's not normal for Liam to cancel an interview.

"Gray, is everything okay?" I look up at him uncertainly. "Are we not… Are we not doing the announcement today?"

"You know," Grayson finally says, his voice hard. "I have to commend you. I'm just really fucking glad this happened now. Before anything permanent happened."

I blink at him, not sure what the hell he's talking about. I don't know why he's not holding me, giving me the comfort I crave right now, but after the fight with Gage, it's almost too much.

"What are you talking about?" I choke out, folding my arms around my waist in a mimicry of the hug I want from him.

"You really had us fooled." I flinch at the acid in his voice, the loathing.

"Fooled?" My brow wrinkles as I try to figure out what he's talking about. Is he upset I didn't tell him about being the singer Liam was looking for? I didn't think it really mattered all that much. Not for him to have this kind of reaction. Maybe I hurt his feelings by not trusting him with it? That's easily remedied though, I can apologize and explain.

I shake my head. "It was stupid, I know. I just didn't want you to think I was using you-"

"So you admit it," he snarls.

I frown, tears filling my eyes again. "Admit what ?" He just stares at me for a moment, then he shakes his head, thrusting his phone at me.

"Your mic is on," is all he says, emotionlessly.

I still don't understand, other than that whoever is listening to the recording likely heard my fight with Gage, but that doesn't explain this chilly reception I'm getting. How he's blocked me out.

My fingers tighten on his phone. "Why are you acting like this? What did I do?" My voice comes out small, so fucking small. I don't have the strength to be louder. I used it all up with Gage.

With a snarl, he hits the screen of his phone, and my voice flows from it. My voice saying things I never actually said. Bits and pieces of my fight with Gage, broken down and rearranged into me all but admitting that I'm only with them for the fame and prestige, just like Gage accused me. There's none of the rebuttal, none of me telling my best friend that I need them, that I love them, that I don't give a shit about what they can give me or do for me, beyond themselves. They are all I need. Not their fame or fortune.

"I don't really care about them," my voice says, sounding strange through the phone speaker. "I only want what they can give me. I'm only here for the money." I can hear the question mark at the end of each of the sentences, but Gray apparently can't.

Someone did this, sent it to him from an unlisted number and he believed it. No, they believed it. So easily, so readily.

I thought they knew me. I thought they were falling in love with me like I've already fallen in love with them. But that can't be the case if they'd so easily believe this bullshit.

Rafe and Liam are gone. I'm guessing Gray made Rafe hustle Liam out of here real quick after they received the message. Didn't want to risk me manipulating their omega into believing my innocence.

My voice cuts off and Grayson sneers at me for a long minute, like he's waiting for me to either deny it or beg for his forgiveness. But I won't do either of those things. He's made up his mind about me, about who I am in a split second. If I deny it, it'll only solidify my guilt in his eyes.

And I refuse to beg for forgiveness for something I haven't done.

I hold his cell out to him. "So that's it, huh?" My voice is measured, nearly monotone.

He scowls and snatches his phone away, tucking it into his inner jacket pocket. "That's all you're going to say?"

I shrug and fumble with the mic clipped to the collar of my shirt. "There's nothing else to say, right? I'm a lying evil beta intent on using you and your pack for my own gain, for money and fame and no other reason. I couldn't possibly be with you because I actually lo-like you. You've decided it, so it must be true. Nothing I say will change your opinion of me."

"You could try," he grits out, and I swear there's a hint of pleading in his voice, like he wants me to prove him wrong. But the way I'm feeling right now, I'm not even sure I want to.

Do I want to be with a pack that is so quick to believe lies about me? That will ignore everything I've shown them, all my quiet secret parts, and abandon me the moment they see something they don't like?

What if I fix this now, prove that I'm not who he thinks I am, give them more of myself, more of my broken pieces, and something like this happens again? Will they be just as fast to toss me aside then? To break me so long as they stay safe?

I stare at Gray, at the hard line of his jaw and the steely glint in his eyes and I have my answer. Yes, without a shadow of a doubt this will happen again, because as much as they told me they thought of me as pack, they didn't actually believe it. It's not actually true.

Gage was right.

I'm not the girl they'll keep.

They've had their fun.

Now they'll move on to someone more worthy.

Not a low-class backwoods slinger of fast food, too scared to show her face in her own goddamn videos.

I shake my head again as I yank at the wire, finally disconnecting it from the battery pack at my back and pulling it out of my shirt. "No, I really can't." I unhook the sound pack from my waistband and drop the entire mess on the floor. "I don't want to, Gray. I don't want to prove my innocence to you. After this, I'm honestly not even sure I want you anymore."

He rears back like I hit him. But I couldn't give a shit. I'm done with smiling to make everyone else comfortable. I'm done with bowing and scraping and just hoping beyond hope that it'll be enough for someone to deem me worthy, to want me, to keep me. Never a-fucking-gain.

"Have a real nice life, Gray," I mutter, before turning on my heel and striding away from him. I find my purse and my jacket in the green room exactly where I left them. Only both items aren't mine. Not really. The Cordova pack gave them to me, and I don't want them.

I don't want anything they gave me. I pull my wallet and my cell phone out of the purse. Then grab the black credit card Gray gave me this morning, despite my protests, out of its little slot in the wallet and slip it into one of the inner zippered pockets of the bag. I pull off the diamond earrings, the tiny heart necklace, the gold bracelet with the rose quartz and moonstone beads on my wrist and add those to the purse, too. All gifts from the Cordova pack.

If I could strip off all of my clothes and return those too, I would, but I can't exactly wander around the city naked. So I leave them on, with a vow to send them back along with every other gift they ever gave me… Except for maybe Clarence. I might keep him. But I doubt they'll miss him, since he only cost five dollars and a bit of Rafe's skill.

When I come across the PA who helped me get mic'd up early, she greets me with a glare very different from the simpering smile she gave me earlier. I don't have the energy to deal with a mean girl attitude, so I don't waste time shoving the jacket and the purse into her arms. "Can you make sure Grayson Cordova receives these, please? I think he's still around here somewhere."

I have no clue if he is or not, but I don't really give a shit.

"I'm not doing anything for you, you bitch. How could you do that to Liam? Use him like that?"

I roll my eyes. "Oh, yes, I'm a bitch. I get it. Because no one in the world's history—including yourself—has ever flirted to get something they want." It's not an admission, because that is definitely not what I did, but it's pointing out the hypocrisy she's raining down on me.

Her mouth drops open. "I would never-"

"Oh?" I cut her off. "You never flirted with a guy you had no intention of sleeping with to get a free drink? Not once?"

She says nothing in response, and I shove the jacket and purse at her again. "Just give these to him. He'll probably reward you or something for keeping me from taking them."

Now her expression goes a little hungry at the thought of doing a favor for the Cordova pack, and I know without a doubt she's about to do what she just accused me of. Good luck with that, sister.

She rolls her eyes and snatches the items from me. "Whatever."

"Indeed." I nod and then leave her behind. I can feel eyes on me as I move, feel the glares and judgment from strangers who must know what happened and have concluded that I'm the evil genius who set out to seduce and manipulate America's sweetheart omega and his pack.

Nevermind that it couldn't be further from the truth, that they pursued me . That I tried on multiple occasions to refuse them, they just wouldn't take no for an answer. I've been painted as the villain, and it's only a matter of time before the entire world knows it.

I don't wait for the elevator, even though taking the stairs in heels is a nightmare. The pain in my arches is nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I need to figure out what to do. I don't have my car, since I drove into the city with the pack, so stupidly hopeful and in love and happy.

I refuse to linger in or near the building where the interview was going to take place, so as soon as I hit the street I'm striding away, my wallet and my phone clutched in my hands. I have the brief thought that I should call Gage. Even if I'm mad at him and he's hurt, he'll make sure I get home safe.

We might not talk the entire way, but he'll do it.

But the idea of seeing him again so soon after what he accused me of? Of having to admit that he was right. Not about me, but about them . They didn't want to keep me.

It was probably never their intention. I mean, why would they? I am nothing compared to them.

Gray accused me of being an excellent actor, of playing my role so perfectly, but the truth is the entire Cordova pack should get Oscars for their award-winning performance of falling for me. I believed them. Every whispered promise, every plea to go on a date with them. I fell for it all, hook, line and sinker.

Because I'm a na?ve idiot.

When I shake off the thought, I find myself at the doors of the building the Falcone Pack owns. The one that Sadie lives in now.

It seems while I was lost in morose thoughts, my body kicked into self-preservation mode and brought me to the nearest safe space it could. I must have been walking for a while, but I didn't even notice, numb to physical pain because of the pain in my heart.

Sadie and Sylvie are my safe space now. They have been since I first met them.

Swallowing around the thickness in my throat, I approach the front door. The door man, who is definitely a guard, eyes me but doesn't comment as he opens the door for me.

The stupid heels click on the faux marble floor as I approach the security desk, still clutching my phone and my wallet in my hand. It's a wonder I wasn't mugged, wandering around the city in a daze with tears on my cheeks and a desolate look in my eyes. Though maybe any potential muggers took one look at me and thought I must be having a bad enough day without their interference.

The man behind the counter looks up as I approach, his gaze sharp. "Can I help you?"

I lean against the high counter and force a smile to my lip. It's harder than it ever has been before, but I manage it. "Hi, sorry. I'm here to see Sadie Pierce- er, Falcone . She's-"

"I know who she is." He cuts me off.

I nod, my smile faltering, but not fading all the way. "Right, of course you do. Is she… do you know if she's here?"

His eyes narrow on me. "If you're here to see her, shouldn't you know if she's here?"

My breath shakes as I let it out, and tears well along my lower lashes, even as my stupid smile stays in place. I know he's only doing his job. He's security for the Falcone pack and, of course, he can't just let me up to their penthouse. But dammit, I really don't want to argue with him.

"Can you just call up-"

"No," he says bluntly. "I can't. You aren't on the approved visitors' list for today."

"How do you know I'm not?"

His narrowed eyes run over me again. "I can just tell."

Right, because I look like a lunatic with smeared makeup and red-rimmed eyes. "Please." My voice cracks on the word. "I'm begging you, can you just-"

"Sorrel?"

Relief hits at the familiar voice tinged with an Irish accent. I turn toward the doors with my stupid wobbly smile still in place. "Hey, Logan."

His red brows jump behind his glasses as he takes me in from head to toe. "What the hell happened?" He rushes over to me, his hand cupping my elbow when I lose the battle with my tears, and they start falling all over again.

"I-um-" My voice is so choked, my chest tight, my throat feels closed off. "Is Sadie here? Can I see her?"

He nods. "Yeah, she is. Let me take you up." Then he glances over at the guard, sharply. "Put Sorrel Forbes on the approved list. If she comes here, call up immediately. No questions asked."

The guard nods and types into his computer. The clicking of the keyboard blends with the clicking of the heels. It grates on my nerves, how eager I was to dress up, to put on this stupid pencil skirt and blouse, to tame my hair and put on too much makeup. I bent over backwards for them, to become someone they wanted, someone worthy of them, and they so easily discarded me like trash.

I pull to a stop and kick off the heels, leaving them on the ground for someone else to find. I think they're something like a thousand dollars, so it should make their day. Logan gives me some serious side eye as he pulls me to a stop and stoops to pick up the red soled heels.

I don't say anything and neither does he as he guides me into the elevator after using his handprint to get it to open. Another scan and we're zooming up to the top floor.

"Do we need to have a chat with someone?" He asks, staring straight ahead, and with a perfectly neutral voice, but I can tell the good doctor is fuming… on my behalf.

It makes me cry harder. "No," I choke out. "No. I just… I need a place to get myself together. I won't be here long. Promise."

He tsks and grips my elbow again as the lift slows to a stop. "You can stay as long as you need, Sor."

"Not long," I repeat, even if some part of me knows it's a lie.

I can't fathom going anywhere else in the state I'm in, and I can't fathom breaking out of this all-encompassing heartbreak anytime soon.

The elevator slows and stops. There's a ding as the doors slide open, and the combined scents of the Falcone pack smack me in the face. Mock me. I was going to have a pack, and now I won't.

Because they didn't have the faintest clue who I actually was, because they never believed that who I showed them was the real me. A lie. A manipulation. That's what they see Sorrel Forbes as.

"It's about time you got back, alpha," Sadie purrs from somewhere in the penthouse. "I've been such a good-"

Logan clears his throat and tugs me forward with his grip on my elbow. "We have a guest, mo cuishle."

"Sorrel?" Sadie pops up in front of me, wearing a male's button down dress shirt, red lipstick and nothing else.

I flinch back toward the elevator, embarrassment crawling over my skin. I've interrupted them. They obviously had some kind of rendezvous planned and I'm ruining it.

"I'm sorry," I say, forcing a smile to my lips that is directly at odds with the tears that won't stop falling from my eyes. "I didn't think… I'll go."

Logan's hand tightens on me at the same time that my friend lunges forward and wraps her tiny body around mine in a tight hug. "No," she says fiercely. "No, you aren't going anywhere. You haven't told me who I need to kill for hurting you."

It only makes me cry harder, my face buried in her cherry pie scented neck, clinging to her as she strokes my hair and murmurs reassuring things that sound nice but don't mean anything. Mostly about how she'll castrate whoever hurt me. Or Swift will. Or Luca. Maddox. Anyone of her alphas will happily do her bidding in destroying whatever has me so upset. Ethan, their pack beta, can hack into any computer system and destroy their financials, dig up secrets. "We can blackmail them!" She all but croons in a soft voice.

We stay in front of her elevator just like that until I stop sobbing uncontrollably. Until the elevator opens and another soft body that smells like honeyed nectarines presses into my back, cocooning me in omega scents and pheromones, enough so that I can get myself under control.

"What did I miss?" Sylvie asks as I straighten up from Sadie's shoulder. Her hand strokes down the back of my head, petting me in a way that probably shouldn't feel as soothing as it does.

Sadie frowns as she looks worriedly at me. "I'm not sure. We haven't gotten around to talking about it yet." She squeezes my fingers, gently. "Feel like sharing with the class, Sor?"

Vee moves around to face me and my mouth opens, closes, and then opens again, before I shake my head. I don't even really know where to start. They don't know I was seeing the Cordova pack. I didn't want to jinx it by getting too excited about it. I had planned to tell them about it today after the interview, so that my best friends didn't discover I was the newest member of the Cordova pack at the same time the rest of the world did.

But now… Now I'm too tired to explain everything. Too heartbroken to rehash the details. Too fuzzy headed to even make sense of it. I shake my head again. "Not right now, if-if that's okay? I just can't-" My lower lip wobbles and they both lunge forward, wrapping me up tight before guiding me over to the couch.

"Of course it's okay," Vee says, pressing me down into the cushion.

"You can tell us whenever you're ready," Sadie adds, draping a blanket over my lap. She picks up a remote and presses a button that dims the lights, and a movement later they're snuggled in to either side of me. The TV turns on.

"Should we watch a Liam Cordova movie?"

Oh, god, just hearing his name feels like my heart is ripping out of my chest. "No," I choke out. "No. Not Li- not him. Let's put on that Howard Garcia movie. The one about the spies."

I feel them exchange a look behind my head, but pointedly ignore it. Sure, in the past, I'd never choose to watch a Howard Garcia movie. None of us would. We'd laughed about how he was trying to be like Liam, with none of the charm or romance that seems to cling to the omega actor.

But the last thing I want is charm and romance, so this will be perfect.