Track 22 Moral of the Story

"It's bad," I hear Sadie mutter to Sylvie. "She's been doing nothing but listening to ‘I'm Not That Girl' from the Wicked soundtrack and ‘On My Own' from Les Mis on repeat for the last three hours."

I huff and roll over, using both hands to shove my hair out of my face. "It's not that bad." Only my voice comes out raspy and muted from snot and tears. "I'm also listening to ‘Almost Lover' and ‘Last Love Song.' "

"It is that bad," Sadie says back, as Sylvie perches on the edge of the bed, one of her hands resting on my leg. "I've been listening to this swirl of sad for three hours."

"Talk to us, Sor. Tell us what happened so we can fix it."

I let out a wavering breath as Eponine sings about being on her own. My mouth quivers and a tear drips over my cheek. "They all left me."

Vee's brow furrows as she glances at Sadie. "Who did, babe?"

With a huff, I push myself into a sitting position until I'm leaning against the headboard. "Gage and the Cordova pack."

Sadie must choke on air because she coughs in surprise. Vee reaches out to pat her on her back. "Don't die." Sade glares at her, still coughing, and Vee turns her attention back to me. " Gage is back ?"

" The Cordova pack ?" Sadie gasps out at the same time.

I nod sadly. "Yes, and yes."

"When did he get in?" Vee asks, folding her arms over her chest like she's offended that she wasn't one of the first people to know what he's back. They met once when he was home on leave a few years ago and hit it off fairly well. Well, as well as Sylvie can be with any alpha who isn't her fated mates.

"A few weeks ago."

"You're that mysterious woman that was seen around the city with them?" Sadie practically shouts. "The one that no one could get a clear shot of because they were always covering your face?"

I nod. "Yes."

Sylvie tilts her head. "Did Gage leave for another tour?"

I shake my head in answer, teeth sunk into my lower lip to keep it from trembling again. At the same time, Sadie curses and lunges for her phone.

"If you've been out and about with them for the last few weeks, why the hell are they out with Hollis Grailess right now? And have been for the last few days?" She holds her screen in front of my face, showing me a picture of Hollis and Grayson together. His arm is around her waist and he's smiling at her the way he used to look at me. They look so fucking perfect together that my little beta heart clenches and then breaks. The picture under the one of the happy couple is of Liam, Rafe and Hollis on a red carpet. At the premier they originally asked me to go to, to finally reveal me to the world as a new member of their pack, along with the interview that answered all the questions the public would no doubt have.

Sylvie reaches out and pushes the phone down so I'm no longer staring at what should have been my life, but now I'm here, a goddamn hot mess, unable to leave my best friend's apartment.

I have to get over this. My life can't stop because I'm disappointed this didn't work out.

Disappointed doesn't begin to cover it, though. I literally feel like I can't go on. Like what's the point of living if I can't have them?

I hate feeling this way.

I wasn't even like this when my parents died, largely because I knew they'd want me to keep going, to be happy, to thrive. They loved me and I loved them. I was devastated, but I kept going for them. Working tirelessly to see their dream thrive.

I'm pretty sure the Cordova pack doesn't want me to keep going, to succeed, to be happy. No, they want me to melt away into obscurity and to never think of me again.

I harden my resolve to get over this. They never have to think of me again, but I refuse to let them break me. I deserve better than what they gave me.

Taking a deep breath, I answer Sylvie's easier question first. "No, Gage isn't back on tour. He's home for good. Or at least he was, but that was before he told me if I pick the Cordova pack, I couldn't-I couldn't have him."

Vee's eyes narrow. "He told you what? "

I nod. "Ultimatum, pure and simple. One or the other. He did this right before an interview where we were going to announce," my lips tremble and I have to take a moment to stiffen them up before I can continue. "We were going to announce that I was joining the Cordova pack."

Both of my friends stare at me, eyes wide with surprise.

"Okay, I'm sorry, wait," Vee says, gripping my hand. "How did this happen?"

"And how didn't we know about it?"

"It's a long story," I say, settling back on the pillows.

They settle in on either side of me. "Good thing we have nothing but time," Sadie prompts.

So I tell them. Everything. From start to finish, I tell them my once in a lifetime love story with America's sweetheart omega and his pack, with my best friend from childhood. I tell them about how I tried to not let my heart get involved and how hopeless it was. How they made me feel important, seen, listened to.

How none of that mattered at the first sign of trouble, that I might not be as steady on that pedestal they put me on.

They listen, make outraged noises on my behalf at all the right moments, ask questions and mutter vows to castrate the Cordova pack under their breath. It's… exactly what I needed. Verification that I'm not crazy for being so hurt, so heartbroken. Vindication for the anger rolling through me at how easily all of them could just set me aside.

"I can't believe you didn't tell us any of this," Vee says, narrowing her eyes at me. " Why didn't you tell us this was happening?"

"I sent you a text-"

"A hypothetical text about maybe having a no holds barred sex romp with a celebrity," Sadie cuts in. "Nothing about dating them, about joining their pack."

I gnaw on my lip, not meeting either of their gazes.

"Why didn't you say anything, babe?" Vee prompts.

I sigh and tip my head back, staring at the ceiling as I say, "you've both been busy with your packs and your lives and all the bullshit with Apex. I didn't want… if it didn't work out, I didn't want to bother you, get your hopes up."

"Sorrel Madeline Forbes!" Sadie sounds well and truly pissed. "Were you going to keep it a secret from us, your very bestest of friends, if it didn't work out?"

I roll my eyes and motion around the room in her pack's penthouse. "Obviously not. I came to you as soon as it ended, Sade."

"As you should!"

"You don't have to do everything alone, Sore," Vee says much more gently.

I nod and hug a pillow to my chest. "Yeah, I know. I know that, but sometimes… it feels like I do. A lot of times it feels like… that's all I do, push forward alone to not inconvenience anyone else. And I guess that's what I have to do now."

Vee frowns. "You aren't alone. You have us, babe. And Gage-"

"Gage wasn't even willing to try for me. He wasn't willing to fight to stay with me," I say, and they both make sounds of agreement.

"His way of fighting for you was to test you, test your loyalty to him, and when he didn't get the answer he wanted, he lashed out," Vee says, resting her head on my shoulder. "He's got to be regretting it now."

Sadie nods. "I'm sure if you reached out-"

"I can't go back to Gage," I say, shaking my head. "He'll think the only reason I do is because they broke things off with me. I don't want him to think that."

"If he does, he's an idiot," Sadie says, looking up at me from where her head rests on my shoulder. "And the Cordova pack are a bunch of bigger fucking idiots."

Vee laces her fingers with mine. "What do you want to do, babe?"

"Besides wallow," Sadie adds. "You're definitely going to keep wallowing for as long as you need."

I nod. "Yeah, I'm going to wallow, but then I have to… The restaurant's been running on shortened hours with just Annie and Jeremy. I need to get back to work." Especially since I'll need the income now that I have to figure out a way to pay off Grayson's company faster than I had intended. No way do I want that debt hanging over me.

"How stupid of me," I mutter, shaking my head. "Believing them. Throwing myself all in with them. I thought…" I thought I wouldn't have to live this life that I hate anymore. I thought I'd finally be free, but I was wrong.

"No, Sor," Vee says softly. "No. You aren't stupid. You're a dreamer and smart and talented, and you always see the best in people no matter what."

I snort. "And look where that got me."

Sadie nuzzles closer to me. "This sucks, babe. It does. No one is saying otherwise. But this will not break you. You're stronger than that. And you will not let this change who you are at your core."

Vee nods. "We love who you are at your core."

"And sometime soon, you're going to find a pack who adores your core, too."

I take a deep breath through my nose, inhaling their sweet omega scents and letting them calm me. It's almost as good as Gage and the Cordova pack's scents all mingled together. Almost, but not quite.

I don't bother telling them I don't think that's the case. That I think my pack will never exist. Not anymore. I'll be alone until the end of my days, an auntie to all the kids they're going to have, but never a mother myself.

Or maybe in the future, I'll find a beta male and settle down with him. The key word there being ‘settle'. Which isn't fair to the faceless, nameless man in that scenario. I shouldn't settle and neither should he.

"What do you want to do?" Vee asks again, drawing me out of my bleak thoughts.

I consider and then say, "I want to cut all ties with them. I want to give back everything they ever gave me and I want to repay them what they paid to the Stillwell pack. I don't want any loose ends that they can point to and say, see? She was just a money hungry, manipulative bitch after all."

Sadie nods, then hops up from the bed. "We're on it."

Vee stands a little slower, bending to press a kiss to my forehead. "Yep, we're on it."

I get up too, but they both press me back down. "Nope. You stay right there babe and get to wallowing. By the time you're done, we'll have everything they sent to you packed up and sent back."

"I'm pretty sure we'll be able to tell what is yours and what they gave you," Vee says, brow wrinkled. She's not wrong. They will probably be able to figure that out. I'd never be able to afford designer labels and everything the Cordova pack gifted me is the most designer of designer labels.

I nod. "Most of them have the tags still on them, anyway. If you have any questions…"

"We'll ask," Sadie assures me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Don't worry. We'll handle everything. You just hang out here. There's a ton of ice cream in the freezer. You know where the snack cupboard is. But if we don't have something you want, let one of the guys know, okay?"

I wrinkle my nose at the thought of asking any of the Falcone pack for anything, even though I know they'd likely move heaven and earth for me, just because I'm Sadie's friend.

But the idea of them seeing me like this is… embarrassing.

"Sor," Sadie says in a warning tone as she pokes my cheek. "They will not judge you for this, and if they do, I'll withhold sex from them for a week."

My brows jump and a small laugh burbles from my chest. "Well, then I'm sure they'll be on their best behavior. "

She laughs. "Yep. Without a doubt."

They both bend and press kisses to my forehead before shuffling out of the room.

I lay in the conversation's wake, feeling wrung out and exhausted, but better. It feels better to have told them everything, to have shared the story, to have my feelings and heartbreak validated. Cathartic.

And now that I've processed everything out loud, I can see just how doomed everything was from the start. They pursued me with an almost single-minded intent. I never pushed for anything from them. That they can conclude that I was using them the entire time off of so little proof is evidence of how broken the Cordova pack actually is.

They claim to want someone else to join them, a female to carry their babies and build a family with, but they'll never get it with the overwhelming distrust issues they have. Not only did they lie to me about our relationship, but they also lied to themselves.

And Gage… I don't even know where to start with him. At some point, I'll probably forgive him for what he said, for how he acted. We've always worked through our fights. But for now, I'm still too raw to consider having that conversation.

After laying there for all of ten minutes, I tire of wallowing.

Sadie and Vee are doing their part to extract me from the tangle that is the Cordova pack. I need to do the same.

Thirty minutes later, I'm showered and dressed in a pair of Sadie's leggings and one of her oversized cropped hoodies. I feel marginally more human, or at least better prepared to face the world.

Taking a deep breath, I pull open the door of the guest bedroom I've been staying in and step into the hall. The combined Falcone pack scents aren't as emotionally offensive to me today, which is a good thing, because the last thing I need is to cry during the conversation I need to have.

I follow the sound of a TV to the living room where I find Swift slouched on the couch watching a cooking show and Maddox at the island with his laptop open. They both look up as I enter, but don't comment on how I showed up as a sobbing mess on their doorstep two days ago.

"There's coffee if you want some." Maddox jerks his chin at the carafe on the counter.

I stare at it for a moment before I venture to ask. "Do you have any green tea?"

Swift hops up from the couch, his pale blond hair flopping over his forehead, his colorful tattoos catching the light. "I'll make it for you, Sorrel."

"I can do it," I protest, not wanting to intrude on their hospitality more, but he's already filling the kettle and pulling out a mug. "Thank you," I say softly, and he waves me off.

I look back at the prime alpha, Maddox Falcone, and find him still watching me carefully. "You look like you're doing better," he says cautiously, like he's worried I'll fall apart at the words. Which, you know, fair.

I tuck the damp strands of my hair behind my ears and nod. "I am. Thank you for letting me stay. I'll get out of here soon."

Maddox rolls his eyes at me in a move I very much did not expect from the mafioso turned legitimate businessman. "Stay as long as you need, Sor. We don't mind having you here."

I scuff my bare foot on the floor and force that smile to my lips. The one that keeps me together when I want to fall apart. "I know. I appreciate it. But I need to go back to work, eventually."

He nods slowly as Swift moves over to me and presses a steaming mug into my hands. "Let it steep a little longer before you drink it," is all he says, before heading back into the kitchen. "I'll make you some breakfast."

Maddox is still watching me like he's worried I'll break. How embarrassing. Really. I clear my throat and cup the warm mug with my hands. "I was actually wondering if we could talk?"

His brows jump. "You wanna go to my office?" He slides his eyes over to Swift, standing with his back to us, silently asking if I need privacy.

I shake my head. "No. It's fine." Nerves crimp my stomach, and I take a deep breath before blurting out. "I was wondering if you could loan me thirty thousand dollars."

My face flames red and unable to bear looking at him, I squeeze my eyes shut. This is so fucking hard for me, and a big ask.

But all he says is, "Of course." Wide eyed, I look at him, startled by his easy acquiescence. "I'll need to know what you need it for, though. If it's to hire hitmen to take out the Cordova pack, I can save you some time and trouble." His chin jerks at the other alpha in the room with us. "Swift can handle it, free of charge." The blond man looks over his shoulder at me with a wide, manic grin on his face. "Though I have to warn you that Grayson is Luca's brother, so he might have to be put on life support instead."

"I didn't know that," I mutter, before shaking my head quickly. "No. No. It's nothing like that. They went behind my back and paid off a loan my parents took out with a pack in Lake Kilrose and now I owe them thirty thousand dollars. I don't want to owe them anything. Or have anything to do with them. I'll pay you back with interest. I just need to not be bound to them for any reason."

The prime alpha nods. "Understandable. What are the terms of the loan you have with them?"

I tell him as he types on his computer, taking notes, I assume, and then nods when he's finished. "I'll have our lawyer draw up the contract. We should have this taken care of in no time."

Warmth infuses my chest and I give him a smile tinged with tears. But I don't let them fall. I'm not crying over the Cordova pack anymore. "Thank you, Maddox, I really appreciate it."

He nods and pushes to his feet. "I'll call them now and get the ball rolling." He retreats down a hall with his laptop in his hand, leaving me with Swift—by far the most unhinged of all of Sadie's pack members—but it doesn't bother me. Unhinged he might be, but he's devoted to Sadie. The only reason he would ever dream of hurting me in any way is if I hurt his omega. Which I would never do. Ever.

"You like French toast?" he asks, glancing over his shoulder at me again. My stomach growls in response, and he chuckles. "I'll take that as a yes. You eat meat?"

"Yeah." I slide onto a stool at the island. "You really don't have to go out of your way for me."

The blond alpha glares at me. "You're a guest and the best friend of my Cherrybomb, of course we're going to go out of our way for you."

Immediately, guilt hits, my shoulders droop, and it's a struggle to keep that smile in place. I didn't mean to be a burden to them, to make them have to take care of me. It's not their job. It's no one's job. I can take care of myself. Lord knows, I've been doing it long enough. "I'm sorry. I'll leave after breakfast. Promise."

Swift tips his head back and glares at the ceiling. "Stop saying that, little flower." His gold eyes drop to my face. "You aren't a burden. Stop acting like you are."

Properly chastened, I focus on drinking my tea as Swift finishes making my breakfast. I watch fascinated as he slices strawberries with a little paring knife, the blade moving so fast I can hardly track the movement, flipping it in the air every so often in a way that makes me sure he's going to slice off a finger. But he never does.

In almost no time, he slides a plate full of eggy toast, drowning in maple syrup, fresh strawberries and whipped cream, with a side of bacon and sausage in front of me. He cleans up while I devour the food and watch him, curious. I know they have a lot of money. More than a lot.

"Do you always cook and clean up after yourself?" When he scoffs, I rush to explain. "I just mean, do you have a housekeeper or anything? Most wealthy packs do, right? The Cordovas never cooked, and they never picked up after themselves. They had a staff for that. I tried cooking for them once and I swear the chef was going to skin me alive for even suggesting it. I was just curious."

He looks at me. "Before we were rich in our own right, we were…. Not poor, but we certainly couldn't afford a staff. Besides, any good alpha should know how to feed his family, rich or otherwise."

I nod in agreement. I think everyone should know how to cook at least a handful of things. "I felt so out of place in their house," I murmur. "Being waited on like that. And they all just… told me I'd get used to it. I guess it's a good thing I didn't, huh?"

Swift eyes me, still casually flipping his knife in his hand. "You sure you don't want me to kill them?"

I laugh. But it dies when he doesn't laugh too. He's deadly serious. I'm shaking my head in an instant. "No. No. Don't hurt them. They don't deserve to die just for breaking up with me, for hurting me."

His brow furrows. "I beg to differ, Sorrel. Anyone who hurts you deserves to feel just as much pain."

I squint at him. "Why do you think that?"

He shrugs and flips his knife, deftly. "You're Cherrybomb's friend. She adores you, which means I adore you, too. You're family. We take care of family around here."

Well, shit. My earlier resolve to banish anymore crying flees as my nose stings and tears fill my eyes. Swift gets this look on his face, like he's horrified by the sight of my tears. "Shit, don't cry!" He brandishes his knife at me. "Sadie won't forgive me if I make you cry! She threatened no sex if we upset you!"

I chuckle and swipe at my cheeks. "It's not your fault. I'm just really emotional right now, and that was… sweet, Swift. Really sweet. Thank you. I couldn't ask for a better brother."

He tilts his head, making his white blond hair slide over his forehead. "I've never had a sister before."

I shrug. "Well, now you do… maybe more like a sister-in-law, but the feeling is the same."

He hums, and slips his knife away, hiding it somewhere I can't see. "Well, now I'm going to have to hurt them. Can't have them making my baby sister cry."

I point a finger at him. "No. I just… I want to forget it ever happened. Cut ties with them entirely and just move on."

"With that in mind," comes Maddox's voice from behind me. "I have the contract here." He slides it on to the island in front of me, before moving to pour himself a cup of coffee. "I wish you'd just let us give you the money as a thank you for helping Sadie realize she belongs with us."

I wave my hand and pick up the stack of paper, scanning it even though I know what it says. We've debated the terms thirty minutes ago. "That's what best friends do. You don't have to pay me for that. Honestly, it's offensive that you'd even offer."

"It's not payment," Maddox points out. "If it's a gift."

"It's not a gift, if you give it to me with the frame of services rendered." I hold out a hand to him. "Do you have a pen?"

A moment later, one of those super heavy fancy pens slides onto my palm, and I sign the contract with a flourish. As soon as I do, a small amount of the weight that had been sitting on my chest dissipates, making it easier for me to breathe. Not much, but it's an improvement.

This is the first step to forgetting the Cordova pack.

At least the first one that I've taken. Sadie and Sylvie are packing up all the gifts they sent me, scrubbing their existence from my little cabin. With any luck, I'll be able to go back home without seeing them all over my tiny space. It's unlikely, but a girl can hope.

I have the feeling I'll be thinking about them, mourning them for the rest of my life.

Pathetic considering I've only been with them for a handful of weeks.

What's the rule about it taking half the time you were with someone to get over them?

It's a lie, is what it is.

This feels… Catastrophic and like I'll never fully recover.