Track 20 You Belong to Someone Else

I don't know why I'm here. No, that's not true. I know exactly why I'm here. Because Sorrel asked me to be and I'm helpless against her. Even if this is the last place on earth I want to be. Stepping into this building, this studio is akin to facing a firing squad.

The end of my hopes and dreams for the future.

The end of my life.

And I just have to suck it up because… well, she wants this.

Or at least I think she does. With the way her tan skin has a slightly grayish tint and she's pacing in front of me, her fingers fidgeting incessantly, I'm not too sure that she does. Maybe… Maybe she just got caught up in the glitz and the glamor and said yes. And now she's looking for a way out.

A way to be with me and not them.

I close my eyes as memories assault me. The taste of her mouth on my tongue, the silky softness of her skin under my fingers, the wet heat of her cunt on my cock. The sounds she made. The way sliding into her felt like coming home. Our fingers laced together, staring into her eyes as I came harder than I ever have in my entire fucking life.

My fists clench at my sides to force the memory away.

I'd thought that was the start of something, the beginning of the rest of our lives together. I thought she would be mine from that moment on, but I was wrong. She's been here with the Cordova pack, letting them take her to expensive dinners and putting herself at risk, being attacked by some psycho ex of theirs.

Last night I got the whole story from Sorrel, followed by another conversation with Gray, where he was much more realistic about the trauma my girl went through. Sorrel tried to play it off like it was nothing. She always tries to play it off like it was nothing. No matter what it is.

But this… this wasn't nothing. Some man left bruises on her perfect tan skin, scared her, made her cry, stole her sense of safety. If The prime of the Cordova pack hadn't assured me that the prick was behind bars, I would have hunted him down and gutted him.

I can still see the faint bruises, though they're mostly hidden behind the layer of makeup carefully applied by a tiny beta woman with bright pink hair and too much eyeliner.

"I'm so fucking nervous I could puke," Sorrel says, looking green around the edges. Not that you can actually see her edges. She's got about a million pounds of makeup on, making her skin look flawless, but also fake. I miss her freckles.

She's dressed differently too, wearing an outfit that I know the Cordova pack bought for her and probably costs more than two months' mortgage of my parents' place. A tight deep purple pencil skirt, a cream colored blouse with tiny pearl buttons up the front, sky high heels, that make her legs look phenomenal, but that she has trouble walking in. There's a blazer hanging on a rack nearby, just waiting for her to slip it on. A freaking blazer . Sorrel's never worn a blazer in her life.

But here she is, changing herself to fit them. The Cordova pack.

I hate it.

I hate them.

Liar.

I curl my hand around her shoulder and squeeze gently. I know she's looking to me for comfort, but I'm just not in the right frame of mind to offer it to her.

Because today all of my dreams end. Today, Sorrel publicly announces her intention to be with the Cordova pack, or rather, they'll publicly announce their intention to be with her, to court her.

I know once that happens, I'll be fucked.

No matter what they say, they don't actually want me in their pack. I'm a nothing, a nobody from a tiny town, where I was the golden boy, but now I'm just… a cautionary tale.

Of course, she doesn't want to stay with me. I left her seven years ago. Left her to deal with the loss of her parents and the fucking Stillwell pack all on her own. And then I… what? Expected to swoop in when I was ready and have her still be waiting for me?

How often does that happen in real life?

Still, I have to fucking… try, don't I? Shoot my shot one last time.

She stops and looks up at me, fidgeting with the mic clipped to her collar nervously. The sound guy has already come and gone, the makeup artist already primped and prepped her, giving her an exuberant pep talk, one that Sorrel desperately needed, but I couldn't bring myself to give.

The Cordova pack was swept away almost as soon as we got here. The little twerp Joey popped up and all but dragged Liam away for a ‘brief' chat about business, Gray went to talk with the producer of the piece and Rafe followed Liam, after checking with me that I would keep an eye on our girl.

Asshole. As if I would let her out of my fucking sight after what happened under their watch.

"You like them, right, Gage?" she asks, teeth sinking into her bottom lip before she realizes it's covered in lipstick and releases it. "They're-they're good guys and they'll want to keep me, right?"

My heart breaks, crumples. I tug her into my chest and wrap my arms around her. I wonder if the Cordova pack knows this side of her, knows her insecurities. Ones that I know I helped foster. I spent my teenage years warning every swinging dick in the area away from Sorrel. The ones who ignored my warnings and went after her, anyway? Well, I got a little overzealous in reminding them she was off limits.

The result was a string of relationships and boyfriends that fizzled out with no real reason why. If I could go back and do things differently, I would. Fuck, I'd do everything differently. Starting with actually telling my girl that I love her, that I need her, dating the shit out of her in high school and claiming her when we graduated. Spending the last seven years at her side, loving her.

Instead, I orchestrated all of her breakups and then left her too.

I'm only now realizing how much damage I actually did to her. Damage she never really let me see. Hiding it behind a fake smile and gentle words.

"They'd be idiots not to keep you, biscuit. And we both know Grayson Cordova is not an idiot."

A quiet laugh huffs out of her as she pulls back and shakes her head. "I just can't believe this is happening, you know? They want me. It doesn't make any sense at all."

My hands slide to cup her cheeks, thumbs brushing over them gently before she pulls back. "Careful of the makeup. I don't want to have to redo it."

My scowl deepens, and the guilt I felt only moments ago melts. "Since when do you care about your makeup, Sorrel?"

She pins me with a look that eloquently tells me not to be an idiot. "Since I'm about to be interviewed for an international magazine? I need to look my best. I want to make them proud."

I bite back the words I want to say, that any pack worth their salt should be proud of her with frizzy wavy unstyled hair and no makeup, in her normal t-shirt and shorts.

She looks over at me, a furrow between her brows. "I have to fit in with them, Gage. And that means… wearing nice clothes and primping a little." I snort at that because she well exceeded primping ‘a little' when she moved into her second hour of preparations. Her frown deepens. "They are billionaires, Gage. Liam is the highest paid actor in the world. Gray's company is worth billions of dollars. Rafe owns a profitable security firm. I can't even comprehend what that amount of money looks like, what it feels like. But they do. I will soon, too. If it means I have to dress up a little to fit in with them, I'll do it. It's what people expect. What they expect, even if they won't admit it."

"So it's the money, then?" Shut up, Gage.

"No," she's quick to snap back at me. "No. Of course, it's not about the money. You know me better than that. But could you honestly blame me if it was? God, Gage. You don't know what it's been like for me. You don't know how hard… how uncertain my life has been." My chest tightens with guilt. "It's not your fault," she says, shaking her head. "I didn't tell you, but Jesus… I'm looking forward to not living like that. I'm ready to have a fucking break."

I can't help but glare at her. "This isn't you, Sorrel."

She turns to look in the mirror, head tilted as she considers her reflection. "I know. I know this isn't me, but I'm giving them what they want, right? Everyone does that at the beginning of a relationship, puts on a little extra gloss. I just want them to choose me. I need them to choose me, Gage. Once they do that, I can… I can be totally honest with them. Once I'm bonded to them, it'll be too late. They won't be able to leave me, like everyone else."

Like you. She doesn't say it, but the words are there between us. Painful and aching.

She waves a hand over her body. "This is all just temporary. They won't expect me to keep it up forever."

"What if they do, Sor? What if they want you to twist yourself around to be someone you're not?"

"They won't."

"But what if they do?"

"Then I guess I'll just keep lying for the rest of my life! It won't be that much different from how I normally am with everyone else." The words explode out of her and her eyes widen in shock. She shakes her head. "But I won't have to do that. Liam and Rafe met me on the first day of my period, Gage. I was in my holey sweatpants, with my hair a mess and no make-up on, and they saw all of that and decided they wanted to get to know me better. That I was worth the time and effort. This isn't for them, it's for the public, for Liam's fans, for the world."

"And they are always going to be there, biscuit. The public, the fans, the world. Watching the Cordova pack. Watching you. They will always be there."

She takes a deep breath. "I know. I'm aware of that, but I think they're worth it. I think all of this, the facade and the putting on a show, is worth it, if it means I get to have them too."

She hesitates, then squeezes my hand, drawing my gaze back to her. "I think," she says cautiously. "That they're good for me. For us ."

Hurt and anger swell in my stomach and there is no stopping the scoff that falls from my lips, followed by caustic words I know I shouldn't say. "Do you actually believe that, or is this because of who their pack is?"

Her aqua eyes narrow. "What?"

" The Cordova pack . I'm not stupid, Sor, I know you've had a crush on Liam since… forever." It always pissed me the fuck off like I wasn't enough for her, like she had to dream about some far away prince charming who would sweep her off her feet, when I was there in the dirt, her loyal knight protecting her at every turn. "Do you actually want them, or do you want the prestige of saying you've fucked Liam and Grayson Cordova?"

I should see it coming, but I don't. Sorrel's palm connects with my cheek, making my head whip to the side. By the time I'm looking back at her, she's moved away from me, out of reach, and there are tears in her eyes. Angry tears. Hurt tears.

"That is the second time you've insulted me like this, Gage. Do you really think so little of me?" she asks, her voice a rasp. "Do you really think I don't want them? That I don't really care about them? That I only want what they can give me. That I'm here because of money? That I give a shit about any of that?"

I shrug. "I don't know, Sorrel. You let them pay off the Stillwell pack for you. You've gone out on dates to fancy restaurants with them, been photographed with them, allowed them to lavish you with expensive gifts." I really need to stop talking. I really need to shut my fucking mouth. She deserves all of that. She deserves fancy meals and expensive clothes and to be taken care of for once. I just wanted to be the one to do that for her.

She looks at me, incredulous. "You've been right there with me, Gage." Her arms drift out from her body. "They're courting both of us. They want us both to be pack."

My jaw ticks, my hands fist. "They aren't my pack, Sorrel."

She blinks at me, arms falling to her sides. "Don't do this, Gage. Please. Don't."

"They aren't my pack, Sor." I repeat, and her face crumbles. A tear slides down her cheek as she looks away from me, her hands fisted at her side.

"So what? That's it. You give me an ultimatum and I have to pick between them and you?"

Her words hit me in the chest. It shouldn't even be a contest. It shouldn't be a choice. She's mine and I'm hers. We've been together for fucking years , even if it wasn't always the way I wanted. Since the first moment I saw her, I knew I would want nothing as much as I want Sorrel Forbes, but here she is acting like it's a decision she has to make. Something she has to mull over.

If I faced the same decision, her vs a pack? There wouldn't even be a question. She would win hands down every time. Isn't that what happened while I was serving? I had the opportunity to find my pack, to choose the men I served with as my forever family, and I didn't because of her.

I've always known she's my pack.

Apparently, it's not the same for her.

The only reason I can think is because of who they are. The pack everyone wants to be a part of, the one that girls manipulate and beg and steal to just get a glimpse of. And here's Sorrel being offered the chance to be with them. They're seeking her out, pursuing her, begging her to join them. It's got to be a heady experience.

But she has to see it'll fall apart.

"Biscuit," I say softly, trying to ease her into it. "You have to know that they won't… It's not likely that they'll stay. They'll have their fun and move on."

I'm not prepared for the pain on her face. It's an echo of how she looked when she video called me to tell me her parents had died. It's that amount of pain, that amount of grief. And I'm an asshole, but I think with a bit of relief, she knows. She knows it won't last, and she knows they won't want to keep her.

Keep us .

But then she shuts that pain away, and it's replaced by righteous anger. Her hands fist at her sides again and I prepare for another hit. "Fuck you, Gage."

I reel back, away from her, not prepared for her to talk to me that way. She's never, not once, said fuck you to me in a way that wasn't also affectionate or teasing. That… is not this. She sounds like she means it.

"You think they can't want me because I'm so fucking low, huh? That they couldn't possibly want a beta or the owner of a tiny restaurant? Not when they're who they are. And I'm nothing but lake trash."

"Sor, biscuit-"

"No!" she shouts, cutting me off. "No, you had your chance to talk, and you used that chance to make me feel small and unworthy." She blinks and more tears fall from her eyes. Every one of them is like a knife to my gut. "I'm talking now. And I'm using my chance to tell you fuck you, Gage. I never thought, in a million years, that you would… that you would think so little of me. As much as it might be hard for you to believe, I don't give a shit about the money, or the gifts, or the attention. In fact, I hate the attention. If you knew me at all, you would know that."

She looks away from me, tears on her cheeks. "Do you know why they came to Lake Kilrose?" I open my mouth to say no, but she doesn't give me a chance. "They were looking for a girl who plays the guitar and posts videos online but doesn't show her face. Liam wanted to offer her a collaboration and the chance to co-write his next album."

She meets my eyes and I know what she's going to say before she does. I know how fucking talented she is, and I've told her over and over to do something with it. "They were looking for me . If all I wanted was fame and fortune, I could have it, Gage. I could call Liam right fucking now, tell him I'm who he was looking for, and before I know it, I'd be in the fucking recording studio with him. But that's not what I want. It's never what I've wanted."

She meets my gaze. "What I want is a family. Built on trust and love and respect. I thought-" She chokes on the words, her lower lip trembling and I take a step toward her, needing to soothe her, but she takes another step back, keeping the distance between us. She takes a deep breath and tries again. "I thought you were going to be a part of that family. But how can you be when you don't trust me to know my own heart? When you don't respect me enough to respect my decision on who I date? I love you, Gage." The words hold weight. More weight than they ever have when she's said it before. This feels like more than the love between friends, just like I've always wanted, but it's all fucking wrong. "I love you so fucking much. Its scares me how much I need you. But I love them too. I need them too."

She waits for me to say something, but I can't. I'm gutted.

The love of my life has just told me I'm not enough for her. That she loves me, but not enough to be with me. Only me.

"Gage?" she prompts, urging me to say something to make it better. But I can't.

Sorrel stares at me for another moment before she runs a weary hand down her face and over her cheeks, wiping away her tears. She straightens her shoulders and shakes her head, her expression smoothing out in a way that I recognize all too well. She's cutting herself off from me, from the emotions of the moment. She's slipping on the facade she wears with fucking strangers, the one that tells the world that she's fine when she's anything but.

She hasn't used this look with me so thoroughly since we were kids.

"I don't…" she starts, but her voice cracks, so she takes a moment. A deep breath, a lick of her lips, and she tries again. "I don't want to talk to you for a while. When you're ready to discuss the possibility of joining my pack, I'll be waiting. If it's not something you can see doing, then I hope eventually we can be friends again. If you're amiable."

Amiable? She thinks I might be amiable to watching her build a life with them? Just sit on the sidelines as she bonds with them, marries them, has kids with them? No. No fucking way can I do that and not be a part of it.

"Sorrel," I start, already regretting everything, but not sure how to fix it. That only intensifies when she holds up a hand to cut me off, stall my words.

"No, Gage. I have to pull myself together before this goddamn interview. I already said I don't want to talk to you right now. So I'm going." She spins on her too tall heel and exits the room. I hear her ask someone to point her to the restroom, and then she's gone.

I watch her walk away from me, her words ringing in my ears, the sight of her tears playing on repeat. I should call out to her, make her stop and talk to me.

We can work this out. I can make it better.

But that would mean admitting that I know without a doubt that I'm not good enough. Not to join their pack. Not to protect her. Not to love her, though there isn't a force on earth that could make me stop. They'll never accept me into their pack. And that means, if she chooses to be with them, I'll never fucking have her.