Chapter 11

Denny

I wasn't certain what had changed between us or how I'd found myself making out with her once more, but I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

For a moment I had been so certain she was going to reject me and put up a wall between us, and then in a complete one-eighty she was kissing me and asking for more.

Was it a trick?

Was this for real?

I desperately wanted her but only if it was truly what she wanted, too.

Hesitating, I stared down at her. Then she reached for my hand and moved it to her breast. There was no mistaking the green-light gesture, but I had to be certain. She'd never even been kissed before today, and I knew with absolute certainty she was a virgin.

My wolf howled happily in my head.

Mine! He growled.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked her.

I needed to hear her say it.

“Yes. I don't want to think about what it means or what the future holds. I just want to feel wild and free for once,” she admitted.

Wild and free certainly didn't fit my sensible mate, but if that's what she needed, who was I to argue it?

“You're safe with me, Lauren. If it's too much, just say so at any time and I'll stop.”

I knew that wasn't an easy promise to make when everything within me screamed to just mark this girl as mine and get it over with, but it had to be said. This was more than just a casual hookup.

She nodded.

I heard her soft gasp as my thumb brushed against her nipple and I squeezed her breast.

Every little sound she made sent a jolt right to my groin.

It took much effort not to just ravish her, but I knew I had to take my sweet time and make certain it was good for her.

Continuing to kiss her, I let my hands start exploring her body more, paying close attention to her responses. I wanted to memorize all the things she loved the most.

Despite what others thought, I was a huge flirt but not a man-whore. I hadn't been with a lot of ladies and not a virgin since I was one myself. But I was confident I could make this a night she would never forget.

Slowly I pulled her shirt up and over her head before tossing it onto the floor.

A shiver ran through her.

She was so beautiful. How the hell was I the lucky bastard that was going to get to spend the rest of my life with this goddess?

I lowered my head and sucked one nipple in my mouth while I teased the other with my hand. Her hips bucked of their own accord, and I smiled. I just knew my mate was going to be a fast learner and couldn't wait to be deep inside her.

She helped me take my own shirt off before I carefully removed her pants and underwear. My breath caught as I stared down at her for a moment before eagerly stripping off the rest of my clothes.

Getting a little too excited, I kissed a trail down the soft skin of her stomach, stopping to swirl my tongue at her navel before spreading her legs wide then stopping to enjoy the sight as I positioned myself between them.

I licked my lips. I couldn't wait to taste her and watch her come on my mouth.

“So beautiful,” I whispered reverently as I started to lower my head.

“Wait!”

I froze and looked up at her in confusion.

Did she just need a minute? What was going on?

“I can't,” she blurted out. “Oh my God. I can't do this.”

Stunned, I just sat there staring at her, too shocked to even notice the sting of rejection.

“You can't what?” I asked.

I was mesmerized by the pink color migrating from her cheeks down to her breasts.

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I promise to make this good for you.”

“Denny, no. Stop. I can't go through with this.”

She nudged me a little and I rolled to my back, staring at the ceiling.

My mate didn't want to have sex with me? What the hell? I'd already considered a million ways on how this moment could go and this was not like any of them.

Lauren jumped up and started pacing the room.

“I'm so sorry. I know you must think I’m a tease. I've never been in this position before. I've never allowed it to even come close to this. And I thought I could do it. I thought I could just throw caution to the wind and be normal for once without worrying about the consequences. Be young and carefree. But I'm none of those things and this is all happening too fast. And it's way too easy. Nothing good in my life has ever come this easy. So that must mean it's bad, right? I mean this can’t be normal, so it must not be right.”

The shock of the moment was beginning to wane as I listened to her nervous rant, my eyes following her movement back and forth across the room.

My balls were so tight it was physically painful, but I didn't think she was completely rejecting me. She was just putting the brakes on the moment because I'd let things move too quickly.

Cursing myself, and pushing my own needs aside, I jumped up from the bed and went to her. She didn't flinch away when I held her, but she did stop pacing, and I could feel her body vibrate and begin to calm.

Tears slid down her cheeks and onto my chest.

“It's okay,” I whispered.

My dick had other ideas as I tried willing him to calm down. There was no way to hide the evidence of my needs when standing naked and this close to her, but I at least tried to ignore it and pretend like this was all no big deal.

The last thing I wanted was for her to regret being with me. I'd much rather wait until she was absolutely ready. Besides, as far as I was concerned, we had the rest of our lives for that stuff. I didn’t think she wanted to hear that just yet though.

My mate acted big and bad like she was stronger than life and could take on the world. She was fiercely protective of those she loves, if Kylie was any indication, and I hoped one day that would include me, too.

This clearly wasn't going to be a simple mating. I doubted there was anything simple about Lauren. She was far too mature and logical for her own good, but maybe I could help with that some. She needed to relax and have some fun.

“When was the last time you went swimming?” I asked.

She snorted. “What?”

“Swimming. You know, in the water.”

“I'm a wolf. I don't swim.”

“Never?”

“No.”

I pursed my lips. “I think we're going to have to fix that.”

“You're crazy. I don't even own a swimsuit.”

Grinning, I stepped back and let myself look at her in appreciation. “It is most definitely not a requirement.”

“I can't.”

“You can. It's relaxing and fun.”

“And naked.”

I let my hand trail down her side. “I've already seen you naked,” I reminded her.

“Denny. This is ridiculous. Aren't you mad at me or something?”

“For what?”

She looked at me with this adorable look of frustration.

“Nah. I could never be mad about that,” I told her honestly. “And I don’t ever want you to do something you aren’t completely comfortable with.”

“Like swimming?”

“No that doesn't count. You have to at least give it a try.”

“I tried this, and it didn't work out so well.”

“Yet,” I stubbornly said. “We just moved too quickly. All these added mating hormones doesn't help things, but I can behave. Scout’s Honor.”

“Were you a Boy Scout, Denny?”

“Nope. Now get dressed. I have a plan. It does involve you naked, but unfortunately, you're in a human hotel and they frown upon such things. So for now, clothes would be a good start.”

Much to my surprise, she actually listened and got dressed.

I followed her lead and found my own clothes to get dressed and then we left her hotel. I kept telling myself this was a good thing, because if I'd stayed locked away in that hotel with her a second longer, I wasn't confident I wouldn't try to kiss her again—and more.

I was still uncomfortable in my need for her, but I tried not to think about it. Every brush, every look, and every time she reached out and touched me just made it all the worse. My body seemed to respond to her every breath. For now, it was just something I was going to have to get used to. With any luck the lake would be cold enough to help calm things down a bit.

This time when we got into her car, I took the wheel. Lauren seemed like a bit of a control freak, but maybe that was just with Kylie because she didn't argue at all. I drove us straight to the doghouse which I knew was as good a place to park as any.

There was only a small section of the lake visible from campus. Most unknowing students hung out on the grassy hill leading down to it. The rest of us knew there were far better places to go with just a short hike.

Lauren followed my lead without question right up until we hit the edge of the woods. She froze.

“What's wrong?”

“Are you dragging me out into the middle of the woods to murder me for leaving you hanging like that?”

I burst out laughing. “That hadn't crossed my mind. But now that you mention it . . .”

Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head.

I chuckled. “Kidding. You'll always be safe with me. I could never get mad over something like that. I'd have felt horrible if you hadn't spoken up and later regretted it.”

The dark look that must have passed over me seemed to have calmed her nerves. I meant every word of it.

“Well, where are we going?”

“You'll see. Trust me. It's worth it. Do you trust me, Lauren?”

I held my breath awaiting her response.

“I do. I don't know why. I don't trust many people, but I do trust you.”

My heart swelled and I reached for her hand, linking our fingers together. I was sure I was grinning like a loon because my cheeks hurt from the act, but I couldn't stop smiling. She made me this way. She made me happier than I ever knew was possible and all the shit from back home and the uncertainty of my future, all the things I secretly stressed about while brushing it all off like I had no care in the world, they all melted away as we walked hand in hand through the woods.

She was the first to break the silence. “It's so quiet here it's almost terrifying.”

I stopped and listened. I could hear the trickle of water from a nearby creek, the birds chirping, and a squirrel scurrying away nearby. It wasn't quiet to me at all.

“What do you mean? There are lots of noises in the forest. Just close your eyes and listen.”

She did, but then shook her head. “I hear the animals, the wind, and such, but there's no sounds of cars, no horns blaring, and people yelling. It's all so quiet. How do you stand it?”

I snorted. “Okay, now I believe you really are a New York wolf.”

“Don't tease, I'm serious.”

“It's nice here. I like the quiet. New Orleans isn't quite as loud and crazy as New York. Plus, there's always the bayou to escape the insanity. But I understand what you mean. The quiet here in these woods settles my wolf. I love it.”

“Is that why you don’t want to leave here?”

Sighing, I decided there shouldn’t be secrets between mates and knew I was going to have to allow myself to be vulnerable to this woman if we were ever to have a true chance at making it. But honestly, this subject wasn't within my comfort zone.

“No, it's not.”

“Then why?” she asked.

I was quiet for a moment as we continued to walk, but she stopped and looked up at me more curiously now.

Nodding in resolution, I told her the truth.

“The reason I stay is simple. It's safe here. I know you've been through a lot, more than just about anyone I’ve ever known, but I don't get the feeling you know what it's like to be so scared that you can't sleep at night.”

“But you do?” she asked softly.

I shrugged. “My Pack lives in one big building in the city. We have outlying properties in the bayou that we can escape to, but only with permission. My Alpha is basically a dictator and thrives on ruling with fear. The apartments are assigned by his set hierarchy. He and his family live at the very top. I grew up somewhere in the middle, but you never knew when that would change.”

I wasn't sure how much I should tell her. It wasn't something I was supposed to talk about even within my Pack, but this was my mate.

“What happened?” she whispered.

“I had an older brother, and he decided it would be fun to screw with the Alpha heir. Leo isn't a bad guy, and I know he didn't rat him out, but there are eyes and ears everywhere in the city and word got back to his father anyway.” I took a deep breath. I'd never told anyone what had happened. My parents thought my brother had killed himself, but I knew better. “It was all made to look like a suicide.”

She gasped.

“I was there, Lauren. We weren't afforded a large apartment, so we had to share a room. When he didn't come home that night, I snuck out to look for him. I knew the back paths through the building where the cameras weren't. I used to sneak up to the rooftop and look down on the city. I wasn't supposed to be up there, but something made me go up there that night. I really don't know why, but that's where I saw them. While I cowered in the air vent on the roof, I watched my Alpha personally hit my brother and then toss him off the roof. There was nothing I could do to stop him. You have no idea how powerful he is. He killed my brother just for messing with his son. It was a funny, harmless prank. Leo had even laughed about it, but to his father it had been an embarrassment, and no one embarrassed the Savoie family name and lived to tell about it.”

I finally dared to look up and see the look of horror in her eyes.

“I've never told anyone that story before.”

“You just lived with it locked up inside? You must have been terrified.”

I shrugged.

“They found his body that next morning with a note in his pocket. It was declared a suicide, and I knew better than to say otherwise. If I had, I'd have been hitting the concrete next. The only part that gave me any peace was knowing that the Alpha had hit him so hard that I’m pretty sure he was unconscious when he went over the edge. I like to believe he felt no further pain in his final moments.”

She threw her arms around me and hugged me tightly. “I'm so sorry you had to witness that. What a horrible man. An Alpha is supposed to take care of his Pack and protect them. No wonder you want to just stay here forever.”

I shrugged. There was a lot more shit that happened back home, but I didn't need to rehash it all. That was by far the worst. Being uprooted and moved to the basement after that had been nothing.

All these years I'd kept that to myself. There should have been relief telling my story to another person but there wasn't. Yet somehow, the weight of burden I'd carried from it, was more bearable now. It was like Lauren now carried just a bit of it too. I hated doing that to her, but it was nice, and I hoped someday she'd trust me to help carry the weight of her burdens too.