Chapter 10

Lauren

I jumped when my phone rang. From the ring tone I knew it was Kylie face messaging me. Before answering it, I quickly looked around for something to prop it up on.

“Is it Kylie?” Denny guessed.

“Yeah. I just need something to prop it up so I can talk to her.”

“Do you want me to hold it?”

I considered that for a moment and nodded.

“Thanks,” I said as we both got into position and then I swiped to answer.

“ What took you so long to answer? Are you okay? ” my sister signed.

“ Fine. Just getting situated so we can talk. ”

“ Sorry I ditched you. ”

“ It's okay. Did you have fun? ”

“ Yes. ”

“ Great. ”

“ I'm staying with A-U-T-U-M-N again tonight. Is that okay? ”

“ It's fine. I'm happy you made a friend. ”

“ Breakfast in the morning? ”

“ Sure. Cafeteria, or do you guys want to come back here? ”

“ I'll let you know in the morning. ”

“ Okay. ”

“ Did you want to do anything tonight? ”

She cringed and I knew the answer was no before she even made the sign.

“ We have plans. ”

“ Okay. Be safe and have fun. ”

“ You too. Love you. ”

“ Love you. ”

She disconnected as I sat there staring blankly at the screen.

“Are you okay?” Denny asked.

“Yeah. Just a little sad. Happy too, though.”

“Kylie?” he guessed.

I nodded. “On the one hand I am thrilled and beyond relieved that she is making friends so quickly. But I’m also sad because I know she truly doesn't need me anymore. Not like she used to.”

He got up and slid onto the bed next to me. He wrapped one arm around my shoulders, and I rested my head against his. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. And being this close to him helped me relax and let go of some of my fears. It was as if he was somehow going to take them all away.

I sighed. “I thought we were just going to talk.”

“Just talk. I know. But you looked a little sad. I'm still mostly behaving.”

Knowing he couldn't see it, I let myself smile.

The most terrifying part of Denny was how comfortable he made me feel. I still vividly remembered how happy my parents were together and even though it had been a long time since I witnessed true love up close and personal, I couldn't help but think it must have felt a lot like this. They had been comfortable together, too. They knew each other better than anyone and even finished each other's sentences at times. I wasn't there yet, but I had a feeling that if I let myself fall for him it would be that effortless.

Even as we sat there cuddled up together as I allowed him to take some of the pain and fears away, there was nothing awkward in the silence.

It’s too easy, I thought.

Should anything truly great in life come so easily or feel so right?

My mind drifted back to that kiss. Holy hell, that kiss!

Denny was my first. I had absolutely no experience or anything to compare it to, but that kiss had been everything I'd ever dreamed it would be and more.

I couldn't help but wonder if it was just the awe of a first time or if kissing him would always turn my insides into mush. Suddenly I had to know, but I knew he wouldn't do it again unless I asked.

“Will you kiss me again?” I whispered.

He pulled away and stared into my eyes.

“You're sure that's what you want?”

I started to falter, thinking maybe he didn't want it and was just trying to let me off easily, but then why would he be sitting here holding me like this?

“Is it what you want?”

“I want everything with you. But only if it's what you want, too.”

I nodded. “Kiss me,” I said boldly.

And he did.

Once again, his lips were soft and gentle against mine at first, like he was testing me, or teasing me. I wasn't sure which. The moment our lips touched a jolt of awareness shot straight through me, tingling my body with all sorts of new sensations.

A muffled moan escaped me as his tongue swept into my mouth and he deepened the kiss.

His arms wrapped around me and he gently laid me down on the bed as he aligned himself next to me and partially over me. His delicious scent was everywhere, making my head cloudy and my judgements skewed as I reached up and fisted my hand in his hair to pull him impossibly closer.

This was even better than the first time.

Would each kiss bring us even closer and be more potent than the last?

When his hand skimmed up my side another bolt of awareness nearly paralyzed me.

I pulled back, my chest rising and falling in short breaths.

He grinned down at me and planted one more chaste kiss on my lips before rolling away to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

“Uh, are you okay?” I asked once I finally caught my breath.

“Better than ever. Too good. Just give me a minute to calm down. I really am trying to behave.”

I snorted. “That was you behaving?” I teased.

I had no idea where this boldness was coming from. But I didn't feel embarrassed or out of my element in the least. Kissing Denny felt as natural as breathing. Well, it felt a hell of a lot better than breathing but just as easy.

If I hadn't pulled away, what would have happened next? His hand had felt so intimate on my side, nearly brushing my breast. That I'd stopped, but what would have happened if I hadn't?

That thought was going to plague me until I found out.

“Just talking,” Denny said. “We're just talking.”

“Are you reminding me of that? Or yourself?”

“Myself. If you'd like to change that plan, just say the word.”

My mouth hung open and he chuckled. “Thought not.”

“But you can kiss me again or anytime you'd like,” I blurted out.

He growled and kissed me harder and more passionately this time, stifling my gasp of surprise. That only lasted a moment before I began kissing him back fervently.

I lost all track of time and had no idea how long we laid in bed making out like a couple of teenage kids. Sure, I hadn't done it back then, but I knew plenty who had. If I'd known it was going to feel this good, would I have done it sooner? Or maybe it was just because I was doing it with him.

Through my fuzzy brain I heard one word loud and clear— Mate!

I completely froze.

“What's wrong?” Denny asked.

He jumped up looking around like he was expecting an intruder to break down the door at any second.

“You're my mate!” I blurted out.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

“Yes. I thought we'd already established that.”

“No,” I cried, jumping up from the bed and pacing back and forth. “I mean yes. I know you're my mate, but Denny, this will just encourage the bond.”

“And I'm assuming that's a bad thing?”

“It is when I'm about to get in the car and drive home, which is on the other side of the country. I've heard stories about true mate bonds. We definitely should not be encouraging this.”

“Why do you have to go back? Can't you just stay here?”

“Excuse me?”

He stood up and walked right into my personal space. It should have been awkward and uncomfortable, but it was just the opposite.

“I said, you could stay.”

He reached his hand up and caressed my cheek. Involuntarily, I leaned into his touch.

“I can't stay, Denny.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have jobs and responsibilities back home.”

“Okay. I can appreciate that. Do you think your Alpha would let me move there?”

“Denny. Your life is here. You can't just quit school and follow me home like a lost puppy dog.”

“I promise you I can, and I will.”

This was too much. I was in way over my head with this situation.

“You can't.”

“You're my mate. That makes you the most important person in this entire world to me. And if that means quitting school and following you back to New York, then I'll try to make that happen. I'll just need your Alpha's contact information to try and work something out, though I must warn you, my Alpha is not in the habit of letting go of wolves. At least not without a fight, but it would be a relief to be out from under him, if I'm being honest.”

“You can't just uproot your life for me. You don't even know me.”

“I know you're my true mate. My one true mate , Lauren. What else matters more than that?”

“This is insane. Do you even hear yourself? You are not dropping out of school for me.”

“I'm sure there are lots of colleges in New York. I can finish up my degree there just as easily.”

Hadn't he already confessed he would be happiest just never leaving this place? Now he was ready to drop it all and follow me home?

Then what?

Did he think he could just move in with me and we'd live happily ever after or something? The real world didn't work that way.

I had a tiny little flat in a walk-up that barely had room for the queen bed I shared with Kylie and the small kitchenette lining one wall that left just enough room for a small table and a couple of chairs. We didn't even have room for a couch, let alone a whole other person. And I worked my ass off to keep that small room for us because there was nothing cheap about New York.

Sure, the Pack had some housing, but not enough for everyone, as the Pack had grown too large over the years. There had been grumblings about us getting our own place when others had been on the waiting list for years. Plus, this had been closer to Kylie's high school. It wasn't the safest neighborhood, but it certainly wasn't the worst either.

If Denny truly did come home with me, I would have to find a bigger place. And if he was going to college there, I'd have to take on another job or two to pay for that. I was already juggling three jobs and barely making ends meet.

Our Pack gave a small stipend that helped, but it only paid out twice a year, so it wasn't exactly something I could count on to sustain us month to month.

My mind was whirling with various ideas while never stopping to even question if this was something I even wanted. Just because he was my mate didn't mean I had to accept him.

It was just a fleeting thought in my mind, but it caused a physical pain in my chest just thinking about rejecting him.

“Lauren? It's okay. We don't need to make a decision right this second. I'm just asking you to keep an open mind.”

I rubbed at the ache in my chest and nodded.

It was too much, too fast. And I couldn't think straight with him there, but I also was struggling to tell him to leave.

“How can you be so sure everything will work out?”

He shrugged. “I just know, because you are mine.”

Most women would cringe at being attributed to ownership by a man, but I'd never belonged to anyone before. Maybe it should have terrified me, but it didn't. A sort of calm washed over me, and I clung to him.

I wanted to forget about all the things we had to sort out and the decisions that I was going to have to make. I wasn't the sort to just ignore my responsibilities and be senseless, but just then, for one selfish moment, I just wanted to live and not think about or worry about the future.

And I desperately wanted to believe that everything would just work itself out.

I knew it was a mistake before I even did it, but for just this once, I wasn't going to think about the repercussions of my actions, and I kissed him.

“I don’t want to think about it all right now. I just want to feel good. You make me feel good,” I whispered between kisses.

He hesitated. “You're sure this is what you want? That I'm who you want?”

I nodded. “You're the only one I want.”

What the hell was I saying? It had to have been my wolf speaking for us because that didn't sound like me at all. But when he touched my cheek so softly and reverently, all conscious thoughts flew out the window.

I hadn't done anything that wasn't a hundred percent calculated and thought through since before my parents had died, making this probably the dumbest thing I'd ever done in my life. But as he trailed kisses down my neck, I no longer cared.

Denny's touch took away all the worry, all the fears, all the internal overthinking and replaced them with safety and comfort, making me feel like no matter what, I was going to be okay. And I knew I wanted this. I wanted him, maybe not for the rest of my life, but right here in this moment.

I wasn't na?ve. I knew exactly what I was telling him, and I knew there would be consequences to allowing it, but that was going to have to be a problem for another day.

As his hand ran up my side and he hesitated, expecting me to end things abruptly again, I reached down and took his hand and moved it to my breast, showing him it was okay and that I wanted this, too.