37. Sam

SAM

"Dance with me." It comes out like a command, which is not what I meant, I don't want to tell Annie what she has to do; she has too much history with men like that. But my heart stops when she looks up at me. She's got a sly sort of grin on her face.

We just finished the wedding dinner and everyone else is talking amongst each other, but I want to dance with my wife.

"Bossy Sam? I like it." She takes my hand and I pull her up from her seat. Watching as the soft cotton of her dress falls around her—she's like a dream.

"You like when I"m bossy?"

She nods as she follows me onto an open patch of grass. "Yes, surprisingly. Probably because it's so different from normal Sam and YouTube Sam. But I like every version of you."

"Which is your favorite?" The question is like a lit match, about to start a fire, but I have to know.

She smiles up at me as she wraps her arms around my neck. "I think I'll keep that to myself for now."

I squeeze her hips. "No fair."

"I've got to keep some things a secret. But I will let you know when I like something, deal?"

"Deal." Because what else am I supposed to say? She is too good for me, and I'm terrified she's going to wake up and realize that any second and then she'll bolt. I've been right in front of her for years, and she didn't notice me romantically until this past year, so what does that mean for the future?

She lays her head on my chest, and I'm thrown back to last night, with her in my arms. Where I want her to stay forever.

"Is it weird to you that we now have one more night at the same resort where your brother is staying for his honeymoon?"

She shudders against me. "I did not need that reminder or image in my head."

I chuckle. "Sorry, sunshine."

"You are not sorry." She hits my chest playfully.

"What should we do tonight?" I ask her.

"Sleep, like last night," she answers and relief fills my chest. She wants me to be with her.

"I love that plan," I tell her. I'll hold onto this feeling for as long as she'll let me.

Noah wasn't wrong when he voiced his concerns about me not ever having a long-term relationship, but he didn't know that the only reason those relationships didn't stick was because I've always been in love with Annie and no other woman was her. No other woman can ever compare.

We dance on a patch of grass, close to the reserved section of the small beachside restaurant where the reception was held. There's a man singing and a crowd has gathered, but the grass patch is empty.

"No one else is dancing, Sam," Annie says, but she's smiling.

"So? Is it so wrong to want to dance with my wife?" I pull her into my arms as the man starts to sing a song by Queen.

She throws her head back in a laugh, and my heart lifts. After so many months of seeing her so guarded, it's so nice to see her so carefree. "Are you going to call me your wife forever?"

I rest my cheek against her forehead. "Yeah, I think I will."

"I like it," she says as we sway together in time. "But it'll take some getting used to."

"Mhm," I murmur in agreement. As we dance, I notice a man glued to the baseball game that's playing on one of the TVs at the bar in the restaurant, and the humid, salty air assaults my senses, but I love it. I know that every time I'm near the ocean, I'll remember this moment.

I know that going to Colorado is going to change things, that here at this resort, everything feels magical and even more romantic. But I'm ready to show Annie all the love I've been holding in for years. I know she'll try to pull away, try to do things on her own and not let me in, but I'm going to be there for her every single time. I can't imagine a life without her—I don't want a life without her. And I'll take every moment I can to show her that I mean that.

I hear her yawn. "Should we get you to bed? We've got a long day tomorrow."

By some miracle, we're both on the same flight home, even though Annie had no clue I was living in Colorado. But I upgraded my seat so that I could sit by her. She doesn't have to fly alone, ever again if I can help it.

"Yes, please." Annie yawns again.

I'm driving us to her little cabin that's on Hannah's property. Since I parked my car at the airport we didn't have to get an Uber. I keep glancing at Annie, and I know something is off.

Her walls are going up. I see it happening in real time the closer we get to Estes Park. When it happened on the plane and she got all quiet and less touchy, I chalked it up to flight anxiety. But she hasn't changed since we've landed. She avoided meeting my eyes as we waited for our luggage and that's when I knew. She's getting ready to block me out again.

"You'll love it," Annie is telling me. "The cabin is gorgeous and looks out to the prettiest view of the mountains. And I can't wait to show you the cafe, it's going to be so great. We can go there tomorrow, since I think we'll both be too tired tonight."

It's eight in the morning and I'm exhausted from traveling all night. I keep telling myself that Annie is only getting quieter and less touchy because she's so tired, but I'm afraid she's putting up her walls.

She's figuring out how to let me down easy, because she's afraid. But I'm not going to let that happen. She doesn't get to do that, not again. Not when I've seen how happy we are together, not when I know that she completes me.

The cabin is dark when we arrive—the curtains all drawn, but it's cozy, just like Annie said it would be.

"Annie—" I start but she cuts me off, still not looking at me.

"I'm really tired, Sam, can we talk after we get some sleep?"

"Sure, sunshine," I say, worry filling my gut. Later, I'll tell her just exactly what I feel for her and that I'm not gonna let her walk away from our marriage, unless that's truly what she wants to do—and not just because she's scared.