36. Annie

ANNIE

After the ceremony, Noah catches my eye and I know it's time. Sam follows me over to where my brother is standing.

"I hope he doesn't think we were trying to upstage his wedding day," I tell Sam.

"He won't, he's a hopeless romantic. Hopefully, we can explain everything to him and he'll just be happy for us," he says as he places his hand on the small of my back. "We never wanted to outshine his day. I can explain since he only knows right now because of me. It's going to be fine."

"I can talk. He's more mad that I'm going to break your heart than anything and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, I guess I'm happy he's not trying to defend my honor or something, but it seems like he cares more about your feelings than mine."

We make it to Noah before Sam has a chance to reply.

"When did the two of you start dating?" Noah asks without saying hello. His arms are folded across his chest and his jaw is set. He looks like he's about to go to battle.

"Um," I say, unsure of how exactly to answer that. Dating? We kind of only started that this trip, but the answer could also be months ago or years ago. It's always been Sam, I just didn't realize it until recently.

"Technically," Sam says, answering for me. "Two days ago."

Noah's look is murderous. "And you had a shotgun wedding last night?"

"No," I say calmly. "We got married a year ago in New York."

"You what?" Noah asks, as if this explanation is worse than the two of us getting married last night or two days ago.

There's no easy way to say any of this. Noah has always been a straight laced kind of guy. Everything is black and white to him, which I get. But nothing about mine and Sam's marriage is black and white.

"Was it because of...." he starts to ask but Sam holds up a hand.

"You don"t have to say his name, and no. It was because of my back."

Noah looks confused.

I jump in to explain. "Sam needed surgery, but he didn"t have any health insurance so we got married because my insurance at the restaurant was fantastic."

"So you committed insurance fraud?" Noah"s eyes grow wide.

"No," I answer. "Our marriage is real. You know how I've felt about marriage and Sam wasn't ready to settle down any time soon with anyone else. So we got married and got him on the insurance."

"And then what?" Noah asks, looking between the two of us. "Have you been sleeping with other women while also sleeping with my sister?"

Sam moves and I put an arm out to stop him. "Noah," I warn, looking at my brother. But Sam steps in front of me, looking like he might punch his best friend.

"Is that really how little you think of me? That I am just this guy who travels the world and sleeps with as many women as possible?" Sam doesn't give Noah a chance to answer. "I've never even slept with anyone, not like that. You assumed and I never corrected you because I've been in love with Annie since I was seventeen and you were the one who told me to back off, to date other people so I wouldn't get hurt. But I love Annie."

Noah is gaping at us, speechless after the bomb Sam dropped on him. As if Sam's feelings haven't always been obvious. But to be fair, I didn't always see them.

"I'm sorry we didn"t tell you the truth," Sam continues. "At first it was because you were so adamant that I never date your sister so I became who I thought you wanted to see. If I was never going to be worthy enough in your eyes, then what was the point of trying to change your mind?"

I squeeze Sam's hand, I'm in this with him. Because I love him too.

"And you're okay with marrying him?"

"Yes," I tell Noah. I haven't exactly told Sam that I love him yet, I'm not about to tell my brother first.

Sam starts talking before I can say anything else. "And then when she went to Colorado, it took everything in me not to chase after her, but I knew she needed space. But by then, she was my wife, and I was willing to wait as long as it took."

"Wait, back up." Noah says and both of us again and then stares at me. "When did you go to Colorado?"

I take a deep breath.

"I think it's time you and I had a little talk, older brother." I step toward Noah, and then look back at Sam "We'll meet up with you later?"

"Always." Sam smiles at me and Noah, and I walk toward the beach.

"Do you want the ring back?" Noah asks as we walk down the beach, away from Sam.

It takes me a second to remember what he's talking about, then I laugh. "No, thank you." Last Thanksgiving, I flew to Utah to give Noah our grandmother's ring that she left me in her will. Sam and I were already married then, but I didn't want that ring. It was always meant to be Tally and Noah's. Not mine.

"Wait, were the two of you already married when you brought it out for me to propose?" Noah asks me.

I nod. "We were. But it never was supposed to be anything real, at least not at first. I don't need that ring, it's much more Tally's taste than it is mine anyway. I feel like Grandma Marsha knew I'd give it to her somehow." Sam and I can find something simple that fits me better anyway.

Noah seems to relax a little. "So tell me what happened, start at the beginning."

And so I do. I tell him how Sam started spending more time in the city, because he was worried about me, and then about the accident.

"He was in so much pain, but assuring me he was saving for surgery," I tell Noah.

Noah laughs. "Sam has never been good with his own money. Not because he spends it on himself, but he's always giving it away." Noah stops in his tracks. "I can't believe he let me think he was such a playboy."

"That's Sam for you," I say. "Anyway, I offered to marry him so he could get on my insurance and get the surgery so he wouldn"t be in so much pain. We fought about it for less than an hour because the pain was unbearable. He looked me in the eye and said ‘okay sunshine, let's do this.'"

"I should have known that he gave you a nickname because of how much he's always liked you," Noah says.

"I think neither of us really wanted to admit our feelings to each other, because of how I've always said I'd never get married. But the next day we went to the courthouse and by that evening we were married."

I leave out the part of the story where he kissed me at the courthouse and something happened inside of me that I ignored.

"After his surgery, I worked less to help him recover."

I feel tense as I get closer to the part of the story where I saw Mitch.

"Just after I got home from Thanksgiving with you and Tally, I ran into Mitch at work."

"You don"t have to tell me, if you don"t want to," Noah offers.

"I'm okay," I say. I am mostly okay now. "He was keeping tabs on me, since he wasn't at the restaurant often and had seen the change on my insurance policy a few months before and he was livid that I hadn't told him I was getting married."

I shudder, trying to block out the memory of him yelling all the vile things he'd said, how after so much time, he could still make me feel so small.

"I don't remember leaving or heading home. All I know is that hours later, Sam returned from dinner with friends to find me soaking wet and freezing cold in the shower with all of my clothes still on. He helped me change and get warm. When I woke up in the middle of the night, he was still there."

"I"m glad he was there," he says. "I wish I could have been there."

"It's okay. Sam was there," I assure him, grateful for the thousandth time that Sam had been there. "Two days later, I went to Colorado. Emily had told me about this therapy type camp and I went to check it out."

"In the middle of winter?" he asks me.

"Well, it was the off-season, but I did meet the owner, Hannah, randomly on my first day there, without realizing it was her. We're very good friends now. And I have a therapist. I'll be heading back there after the wedding and Sam is going to come with me. He's going to help manage my own cafe."

"Your own cafe? Annie, that"s great!" Noah gives me a hug. "And is it bad to say that I'm glad you"re out of New York?"

I smile. "Not bad at all. It was time to start somewhere new."

"And now?" he asks, "With Sam? That"s real?"

My stomach flips. "I think so. I hope so. We'll see what happens. I still feel a tiny bit wary about marriage and a life with someone, but I'm in therapy and she's helping me work through a lot of the lies I believed growing up because of things Mom said and did. I think we're going to be okay, me and Sam."

"You really married my best friend and didn't tell me for a whole year?" he asks.

"I really did. I just didn't think it was going to last, so I wasn't supposed to ever have a reason to tell you." Looking back though, I should have known from the start that Sam and I were destined to stay together.

He looks out at the ocean.

"Are you mad?" I ask.

He runs a hand through his hair. "No. Yes. I don't know. It's kind of a big bomb, I need to process it. You gonna tell Mom?"

"I don't know yet. We might wait a little while to drop that news on her, so she can just enjoy your day. I don't want to take any of your spotlight. You and Tally deserve the best."

He nods. "Alright. I can be there if you need me to be when you tell her."

"I haven't even told her I've been in the mountains of Colorado for the past six months, so maybe someday." It"s never been easy for me to talk to my mom. One step at a time though.

"Like I said, give me a call. Or just take Sam with you. The woman loves him."

I grin. "She really does. Did you know her new boyfriend is only two years older than you and him? She was bragging about it to Gran last night, and Gran was a good sport about it, but I think she agrees with me that it's weird."

"Gross." Noah shudders. "Good thing you married Sam when you did, or she might go for him."

"Gross is right," I say. "Are you glad that you invited her to the wedding?"

He nods again. "Well, even with her dysfunctional relationships, she's still Mom and I'm just glad she got to come and didn't cause any drama. I know your relationship with her is complicated, but I hope it's okay that she's here. I guess this new guy has a lot of money."

"It's your day," I say. "And that"s what I"ve heard."

"At least she can't get drunk and hit on every single man above the age of eighteen here since she's already got a boyfriend."

I roll my eyes a bit. Mom has never been a good role model when it came to the men she dated or how she was constantly flirting with guys. "True."

Noah gives me a hug. "I'm happy for you, Sis, if Sam makes you happen, then I'm happy."

"He does."

"Good."

We walk back to the wedding party, where Sam and Tally are waiting for us.

"I'm sorry about how I reacted," Noah tells Sam. "I'm a little surprised still, but I am happy for you."

"Thanks, man." Sam gives Noah a hug. "Now go hang out with your wife."

Noah grins at Tally as they make their way to the small cafe where we'll be eating dinner soon.

"You good?"

I smile up at Sam. "Better than good."