22. Annie

ANNIE

January 2024

Peace. All I feel is peace. Sam's heavy arm is wrapped around my waist, pinning me to him, not that I want to move out of his warm embrace. But I've been mostly awake for the past hour and my stomach has been grumbling for most of it.

"Sam?" I ask, not wanting to pop the bubble we've been in for the past two days. We've spent most of them in bed, talking, laughing, and kissing. Lots and lots of kissing.

"Mhm?" he murmurs against my shoulder.

"I'm starving."

He laughs and his entire body shakes mine. "I was having a good dream," he tells me as he slips out of the bed and pulls on a shirt. "Want a bagel?"

"Yes please." I sit up and his shirt that I've been wearing slips further off my shoulder. His eyes follow the movement.

"But I'm going to stay here, okay?"

"I'll be back in a few." He grabs his keys and his wallet and I sigh, leaning back in the bed. I reach for my phone for the first time in two days.

I have a dozen missed calls from Chiara and other co-workers and a handful from Austen's. I groan, but I've got to get this over with. I open Chiara's text thread.

Chiara

Are you okay? You went in to meet with Mitch and then you left and Mitch left and he looked furious.

Is everything alright? You've missed another shift and that's not like you.

I asked Mitch what was going on and he told me and the other staff that because of a family matter, you won't be returning to Austen's. What happened!?

I text her back.

Mitch isn't telling you the truth. Well, I'm not coming back to Austen's, but he's the reason why.

Chiara texts back almost seconds later.

YOU'RE ALIVE! I was about to send out a search party. He's the reason your face was bruised, isn't he?

Chiara and I never talked about what Mitch did to me, but it turns out she's a better friend than I gave her credit for.

Yes. Our history is long and complicated, but it's done. I'm finally free.

My hands shake as I type the words that I so desperately want to believe, but I don't yet. Maybe if I say them enough, they will feel true.

I'm proud of you, but you should know that I overheard Mitch talking on the phone to some food critic this morning. He's trying to ruin you. But I'll back you up. I'm putting in my letter of resignation today.

I drop my phone as I read Chiara's words. He's really doing it. Mitch is making good on his threat to make it impossible for me to get a job here. In this place that I love. I don't respond, instead I put my phone on my nightstand.

Can I stay here in New York? Is it even worth it to stay? Or should I go? Mitch is really going to ruin me more than he already has.

I have to take several deep breaths to not throw up.

I'm pacing the kitchen when Sam returns with breakfast.

"What's wrong?" he asks, concern lacing his features. I don't want to dump this on him. Sam, who's too good for this world. For me. I can't ruin him with all the anxieties in my head and the fear I have from the past.

"I have to go," I tell him.

"Huh?" He sets the bagels on the counter. "What are you talking about?"

This is exactly why I shouldn't have told him or let him kiss me. I shouldn't have even implied that I feel the same way as him, because now I'll want him to come with me.

"I have to leave New York," I tell him. I've been thinking about it for the past fifteen minutes since Chiara's texts. This is what I need to do. "I need a new start."

"Okay, let's get packed then," he says.

I look up at him sadly. "You should stay."

His face falls.

"I need to do this alone."

"You don't have to run, Annie. We can slow down and—" he starts but I shake my head.

"This isn't about you or me. The past couple of days have been incredible." I walk over to him and squeeze his hand, then take a step back. I shouldn't make this harder than it's already going to be. "They've been perfect. But I can't stay in the city and I can't ask you to come with me."

"I'm your husband, Annie. I'd follow you anywhere."

"But you shouldn't have to. You've made a life here. You need to travel again for your channel, your subscribers have been waiting for a new video. You should go travel and…and when I'm ready you can come with me."

"Annie." He closes the distance between us as his voice breaks. "Don't do this. You don't have to be tough and deal with whatever you're dealing with all on your own. I'm here."

I hold back a sob. I want him to come with me, but I can't ask him to do that. I don't even know where I'm going to go. All I know is that I think I need some space, and maybe a therapist. And I need to go to a place where I won't run into my ex ever again.

"I need to do this myself," I say, pulling myself from his arms. "I'm sorry."

He looks heartbroken, but he nods. "If that's what you think is best."

"I do, I'm sorry," I say again.

"Don't be sorry," Sam says softly, and I wish he was angry instead. I wish he was yelling, but he's just his usual loving self. "Just do what you need to do and I'll be ready for you when you're ready."

"You shouldn't let me stop you from living your life, from dating other women."

He cringes, as if the thought of dating other women pains him. When his eyes meet mine, all I see is love and adoration—love and adoration that I don't deserve. "You are my life, sunshine."

I turn away before he can see the tears in my eyes. I hurry to my room and an hour later, I'm pulling my suitcase behind me and he is nowhere to be found. I glance around the apartment one last time. So many firsts happened here, and now it's time to leave.