9. Asher

ASHER

S pending time with Phaedra's wolf was lovelier than I'd have thought. She was as capable as she was beautiful and headstrong, and she had a natural instinct for hunting. It bordered on prodigy how expertly she'd gone after that moose. As we ate our kill together, I'd found myself wishing she was part of my pack. She had the potential to be a very strong ally.

Things had gone well until our wolves tried to mate. I thought I was the only one who read the signs in time, but Phaedra shifted to her human form at the same time I did, and just like that, I was lying naked on top of the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

Her sapphire eyes peered up into mine, the surprise shaded by desire. Asking her to shift had only been a way to endear myself to her, but it had backfired. Our bond had put us both in the mood, and it was frighteningly tempting to give in.

Lying on top of her like that, with her blonde hair spread out beneath her, her cheeks flushed rose-pink, and her heart beating hard only inches from mine…

"It's hard," I muttered.

"Wh-what?" she asked, her voice a cute little squeak.

"Lying like this," I replied. "I don't know how much longer I can stay like this without doing something about it."

"What do you mean?"

I laughed. How could she pretend not to understand? "I think you know exactly what I mean, Phaedra."

I heard her heartbeat stutter as I spoke her name. Goddess, she was just as eager for this as I was.

"We shouldn't," she whispered.

"No," I said. "We shouldn't."

But we were both seconds away from changing our minds. Just when I thought she would tell me yes, she pushed against my shoulder. She was so gentle that if I wasn't so attuned to every move she made, I might not have even noticed her touching me.

I wanted her so badly, but she was refusing me. I was not, nor would I ever be, the kind of man who tried to convince a woman to do what I wanted. So, I let her go.

She slipped away, and I watched her get dressed. I hoped she would change her mind and come back to me, but she was much smarter than I was. Soon she was gone, and I was alone in the cave. I moved to sit on one of the rocks.

I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees, and tried to get control of my racing thoughts.

"You are using her," I whispered to myself. "Don't let your dick do your thinking for you."

But that was easier said than done. When I was on top of her, I didn't care that I was about to throw everything away. I would have gleefully done it just to let my body do what it had wanted from the beginning.

And now, all I could think about was Phaedra and her perfect body. I opened my eyes, and on the ground in front of me was a light blue bandanna. She'd been wearing it when I arrived, and she must have forgotten. I picked it up and pressed it to my nose, inhaling that sweet, citrus scent of hers.

Before I could think better of it, I took my cock in my free hand. I thought about her kisses and imagined those plump lips wrapped around my cock. I wondered how much of me she could fit into that pretty little mouth.

Groaning, I stroked myself. I would take my time with Phaedra, letting us both feel the ecstasy being inside her would bring. I'd watch every expression she made as I plunged into her. I wanted to know what it was like to taste her lust and hear her beg me for more.

I let out a low, trembling breath as my eyes slipped closed. In the darkness, I imagined her beneath me, writhing, her hands up by her face, looking up at me with those hooded, dazed eyes. I imagined her hands on me, her legs wrapped around my waist, gasping as she arched up against me.

I lowered the bandanna to my cock, wrapping my hand in it as I caressed myself. My hand was a poor replacement for her, but with her scent near me, and with the memory of her body fresh in my mind, the pleasure was more erotically electric than it'd ever been before.

Tremors arced through my body as I came with a grunt. I lay back on the rock, twitching and breathing hard, sweat running from my forehead down the side of my face. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes.

Masturbating had curbed the worst of my desire, but soon, the guilt crept in. What the hell was I doing? What alpha pined after a female he hardly knew? What alpha could come just from the scent on a piece of her clothing? I was an idiot for letting myself act and think this way about someone I was meant to be using to my and my pack's advantage.

And yet I was smiling when my thoughts returned to her. I adored the way her brow furrowed when she was puzzled about something or deep in thought. I wasn't sure if I would ever say this to her face, but I liked how stubborn she was, and I didn't mind when she argued with me. They were part of the things that set her apart from other women. There was a practiced grace about the way she moved, and her posture was always perfect. She was good at keeping her emotions in check. Even when I was intentionally rude to her, she usually kept her cool very well.

There was so much about her that intrigued me, and I wasn't sure how much of that was the fated mate mark, and how much was me genuinely starting to like her. Either way, this attraction to her was dangerous.

She was a means to an end. Even though I loathed thinking of Phaedra that way, I had no choice but to continue on this path. If it was for the good of the pack, I would do anything, no matter how much I liked her. My loyalty belonged to my pack first and foremost, and no woman would change that. My father had been destroyed by his love for my mother, and I refused to end up that way.

Besides, trying to accept Phaedra into my pack would be bad for her. I didn't want her to suffer the curse if I failed in my mission to kill Edgar. It wasn't worth the risk. It couldn't be worth the risk.

I let out a long sigh. The bridge floated above me, the only remnant of the gods that had stuck around on this island. I wished I could reach out to one of them or Holo and ask them for guidance, but Phaedra's skepticism was starting to rub off on me. I knew the gods would remain as silent as ever.

With that less than comforting thought lingering in my mind, I cleaned up and shifted to my wolf form before returning to my territory. I still had to look over those budgets Taig had given me, and there were other documents that needed my attention— things I'd neglected in favor of training my men for tomorrow's skirmish with the Wilcox pack and spending time with Phaedra.

In my cabin, I took a quick shower, then started on my work. Most of my men hated doing paperwork, but I liked the feeling I got after getting through stacks of papers. When I threw myself into this work, it was easy to shut my other thoughts out and focus on the numbers. There was no room for women or anxiety or anything but acknowledging the facts on the paper in front of me.

I was forced to return to my wolf form more than once, but I got a sizable chunk of work done. While I waited to return to my human form, a knock came at the door. It was a scratchy knock, which told me my visitor was also in his wolf form. There were many downsides to spending most of your time as a wolf. Namely, the longer you were in wolf form, the closer you got to being feral and losing yourself to your wolf urges. Another massive downside was that it was almost impossible to get anything done.

I couldn't read documents or discuss pack business as a wolf. We were limited to simple communications and had to rely on reading each other's body language. It was also difficult to coordinate when one person would be in their wolf form. We either got lucky or we coordinated ahead of time. Generally, I tried to stay in my human form at the end of the hour, and my men tried to do the same.

When it was time to return to my human form, I opened the door and found Taig just completing his shift.

"Hey," I said, letting him in. "I was just getting to those budgets."

"I see that," he said, eyeing the paperwork. "Our meat stores are getting low again."

"I see." Guilt gnawed at me because my belly was full. Being around Phaedra made it too easy to break rules. "Then, we won't waste time. We'll invade Wilcox land and hunt there tomorrow with the goal of bringing home as much meat as we can carry."

"Got it. I'll let the men know to be ready."

I nodded. "I appreciate it, Taig."

"Of course."

Our conversation was over, but Taig lingered in my doorway.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Before I go, I wanted to know if you had a chance to see Connor's rejected mate?"

"Her name is Phaedra," I said immediately.

I winced. Hearing her referred to as Connor's irked the hell out of me. When I was away from sacred lands and from Phaedra and on my own territory where I couldn't fight the effects of the curse, I was more irritable.

I cleared my throat to cover my slip. "Anyway, yes, I did see her. I've started working on getting her to trust me."

Taig didn't seem bothered by my defensiveness. Maybe he hadn't noticed. "That's good to hear. It's a relief to know we've got an in."

"It is, isn't it?" I forced a smile, but as soon as he was gone, I closed the door and let the smile drop. This was unsustainable. It was like I was living a double life, and I didn't have the time to keep up appearances. My pack deserved my full attention, and the more time I spent with Phaedra, the more I felt she deserved that as well.

The next morning, I went to meet my men. They were gathered near the entrance to my territory, half a mile away from where the spiral of cabins began. I wanted to address them before we went out to hunt. My men and Selene's stood at attention. Some of them were already in their wolf forms, but I was relieved to see that their eyes were focused and bright. None of them would fall victim to the curse today.

"I'm sure Taig has already told you, but I'm going to say it again. We are heading to Wilcox land to grab as much meat as we can carry back home. And while we're stealing right in front of them, we will display how much better we were than those self-important Wilcox soldiers. Is that understood?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Excellent. Then let's?—"

"Hold on!" a voice interrupted. "I challenge you for the right of alpha!"

A hush fell over my men as they looked to me. I took a second to gather myself and raised my voice again. "Who said that? Step forward."

The men parted to make way for the challenger to come to the front. His name was Kyle, and he was Taig's age.

I kept my face stern, but Kyle's interruption annoyed me. "Very well," I said. "Let's get this over with."

Challenges like these happened from time to time because I'd assumed command by succession. Alphas didn't have to be the sons of previous alphas. Anyone could assume command after a trial by combat. And though these challenges weren't common occurrence, in times when people were unhappy—as was the case with a cursed pack—it was inevitable that some wolves would want to replace me.

My men formed a circle around us, clearing the way for Kyle and me to fight. These sorts of challenges had to be witnessed by half of the pack. Beating me in a challenge was as good as ascending, and if he won, he would have the powers of an alpha. At least he'd challenged me in front of my men and Selene's. That amounted to about half the pack.

Kyle and I were due to shift, so we let our wolves take control. As we took our places on either side of the circle, I noticed that Kyle had that look in his eye—one that told me he might be closer to being feral than I'd thought. It added a dangerous edge to our battle. I couldn't let him get too much headway in our fight or else he might lose himself altogether.

Taig, as my right-hand, was in charge of hailing the beginning of the fight. It was a formality for him to ask Kyle and me if we were prepared for this battle, but because we were both wolves, he didn't bother. He looked from me to Kyle and back again, and when he felt we were ready, he nodded.

"Both fighters are good to go," he said. "This battle can begin."

The moment Taig stopped speaking, Kyle sprinted for me.

During previous challenges, I didn't mind letting the fight go on longer than was necessary, either so both myself and my challenger could let off some steam, or to give my pack a bit of entertainment for the day, but today, I wasn't in the mood to draw this out longer than necessary. So, as his wolf charged forward, mine side-stepped. As he turned to face us, my wolf darted forward, gripping the fur at the back of his neck between powerful teeth.

I threw him toward the center of the ring, and he hit the dirt hard, stirring up dust. He slowly got to his feet. He was hurt; I could see it in the way his left hind leg trembled. My throw might have given him a few bruised ribs and maybe a bruised hip. These injuries would heal with a bit of time, but for me, it presented the perfect opportunity to end the fight.

The challenge wouldn't be over until he yielded, died, or was otherwise unable to finish the fight. My men rarely yielded, and if he was borderline feral, the odds were even less likely.

I sprinted forward, slamming my head into Kyle's before he could get his bearings. His head flew back, and the rest of his body went with him. He hit the ground even harder and lay still, tongue lolling out. He was alive, but he wouldn't be getting up again.

"That's it!" Taig declared. "Kyle is unable to finish the fight."

Following his announcement, one of the men separated to pick Kyle up and take him to the infirmary. It wouldn't take him long; he'd have time to catch up with the rest of us. Now, we could head off to Wilcox pack lands and cause some trouble.

All of the men, Selene's included, shifted into their wolf forms, and we set off for Wilcox territory. My hope in starting these confrontations wasn't just to feed the Dagger and Coldcrow packs, but also to bait Edgar to come out.

My pack never left Wilcox territory empty-handed. Connor was not the strategist Edgar was, and his constant failures made me wonder if the people of the Wilcox pack had much faith in him as a leader. If he couldn't protect his precious forests, how could he protect his people? Did they chalk it up to him being inexperienced? He was, after all, only an alpha "in-training"—a phase I'd never had the time for. Or did they worry that their next alpha would lack the power he needed to lead them?

I didn't have the luxury of knowing, but maybe Phaedra had more of an insight.

The moment she entered my thoughts, I shook my head to banish her again. Now wasn't the time to think about her. I needed to focus on feeding my pack.

Soon, the scent of balsam fir and white spruce filled the air as we entered the forest. In some areas, the trees were almost too dense for a wolf to get through. The land here was fertile and abundant with plant and animal life, which was why so many large prey favored the area. If we could get away with five moose and as many rabbits as we could catch, we would be taken care of for a few days. If not, we could supplement our diet by fishing.

We separated into smaller teams to cover more ground and hunted for almost an hour, taking down dozens of rabbits and several moose. When I felt we had a sizable haul, my wolf howled, announcing our presence. Sometimes, we were so efficient and quiet, it took a while for Connor and his men to notice we were there.

As my team took down another moose, one of the Coldcrow wolves pressed his nose into my side. It as a wordless form of communication I'd developed with Selene. When in our wolf forms and unable to speak, these nudges were meant to tell me bits of information. Poking my side meant someone had seen or scented a Salcedo.

When I got these communications, it was hard not to feel a little excited. Every day there was the possibility I'd face Edgar. That opportunity would allow me to put an end to everything for good. But as I followed the wolf, all I caught was Connor's scent on the air. Excitement became disappointment, but this was still an opportunity. I could show Connor who was the better alpha.

He was waiting for me on the butte we always fought on. It was the same one where his father and mine met for the last time.

Connor usually had a flare for the dramatic, and today was no exception. He wore a burgundy cape, the deep red stark against the greens of the forest. The cape was closed around him when I reached the summit. If my aim had been trying to get Edgar to come out, Connor's was to show me the vast difference of wealth between his pack and mine. He loved to meet me in his expensive clothes.

I never used to care about his displays. It wasn't his wealth I wanted so much as his monopoly on Isle Royale's large prey. But Connor and I had something in common now. We both knew Phaedra. Despite my best efforts, she was on my mind again, and I had so many questions. Had she been happy with him before he rejected her? Did she miss him and all that he had to offer her? And if she could choose, would she rather have Connor back in her life, or would she stay with me?

You think now is the time to be thinking about her? I thought. Get your head on straight, Asher.

I tried to shove all of those upsetting questions out of my mind as I shifted into my human form. Connor and I were due for a chat.

"Asher, what a surprise." He was smiling, but the darkness in his eyes told me he was furious to be out here facing me again. "I see you still haven't learned where the boundaries of your own territory lie. Isn't that embarrassing, Randall?"

Flanking him was Randall, his right-hand. He was all muscle, a mountain of a man. Not many in my pack would be willing to go against him on their own. Even I didn't like the idea of facing him directly. But I wouldn't have to worry about him interfering with my fight with Connor, because from what I knew about Randall, he had some sense of honor. He was a silent, steadfast soldier, but being in his presence always confused me. I didn't understand why he was so loyal to Connor. Was it because it gave him access to money and power? Or was there something else going on?

Whatever the reason, a nod was the only agreement Connor got from Randall.

"Your borders are so poorly guarded, Connor," I returned. "You can't really blame me for taking advantage."

The alpha-in-training dropped his smile. "You need to learn the difference between what's yours and what's mine."

I paused. Something about the way he said that made me think he was talking about more than just prey. But I had no idea what it could be, and to be honest, his problems didn't matter to me.

"If you can't defend it," I said, my face a faux mask of concern, "does it really belong to you?"

Connor showed sharp teeth in a grin that was almost a grimace. "You'll regret saying that to me."

"I doubt it." I crossed my arms. "You know I'm not here for you, kid. I want your father."

His eyebrow twitched. I didn't know what his relationship with his father was, but bringing Edgar up was a sure-fire way to get under Connor's skin. As someone who had his own complicated relationship with his father, I ought to have the decency not to be this petty. But it seemed I hadn't learned that kind of humility yet.

"Well, you won't get him today." Connor removed his cape, then his shirt. "Or tomorrow, or the next day. You're stuck with me."

"Lucky me."

Connor shifted into his wolf form, and I followed. We ran for each other, meeting in the middle. He tackled me, sharp teeth snapping at my face and throat. I would have laughed at him if I could. If there was a benefit to being a wolf seventy-five percent of the time, it was the fact that we got more practice getting to know our wolves. Of course, it meant we were much closer to going feral, but being a stronger fighter as a wolf had its benefits.

A howl off in the distance let me know that each team had grabbed what they could and were heading back. It was time to pull out.

Connor didn't seem eager to disengage, but he knew I wouldn't let him kill or seriously hurt me, so he started shoving me toward the perimeter of the butte. It was an unspoken rule that falling off the edge was the same as being thrown out of the ring—it represented an instant loss. But he was so desperate to beat me, he didn't notice he'd already lost.

I let him push me a bit closer, and then I dug my claws in the ground and became immovable. He growled in frustration, unable to shove me the last few inches that would send me over the edge. And then, just to show the real difference between him and me, I hopped to the side. He yelped as the only thing keeping him from falling over disappeared, and the inertia he'd built did the rest.

Randall cursed under his breath, rushing to the edge to see where Connor had fallen. I took that chance to run back to my men. Unfortunately, there was no point in killing the alpha-in-training. That fall wouldn't even seriously injure him, which meant I would still have to deal with him the next time I hunted on Wilcox territory.

Lucky me.