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10. Phaedra

PHAEDRA

T he ache in my core was the worst it had ever been. It had only been twenty-four hours since I was with Asher, but already the pain was back in full force. Like the first time I'd been hit with this pain, nothing soothed it. My wolf was whining almost constantly in the back of my mind, but I hadn't planned on seeing Asher again so soon.

Every time I remembered the press of Asher's cock against my thigh, I became worried I might not be strong enough to say no if something like that happened again. It felt like a mistake to give in and lick the mark, but I was suffering. I decided to try and stick it out a bit longer.

I tried to throw myself into my work at the Wallaces'. They were out by the time I arrived because they were attending some high-wolf society thing. In their absence, I found the mirror next to their front door was speckled and smudged. Focusing on bringing it back to a shine helped some, but any time I was between tasks or took a break, I thought about Asher again. Being in heat was like burning from the inside out, and I had no one I could talk to about it.

Gods, I missed El terribly. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in days, and I'd let this fight go on long enough. I needed to swallow my pride and reach out to her again. Pix were very particular about their rules on friendships because their lifespans were so short. When there was a fight, you had to make up as quickly as possible or you ran the risk of staying enemies forever.

It had taken some time to accept, but I tried to see things from El's perspective. She was the only person in the world I trusted, and if she really thought she was protecting me, I needed to respect that. At the time, I had been way more aggressive with her than I needed to be, and she had been right to tell me I was too desperate. I would have jumped off a cliff into rocky waters if she'd said there was a chance the mark would disappear.

I really, really didn't want to lose my best and only friend. And even though I wasn't giving up on finding a way to break my bond with Asher, I'd gone too far by trying to use our friendship to get El to tell me how to do it. With time, I might even convince her to give me that information, or I might find the answer on my own.

Either way, I needed to get my friend back.

When I finished my work, I decided to buy her some silk as an apology gift. I hated spending money, but I had to make this a proper apology.

In the market, I noticed there were quite a few male wolves looking my way. Their expressions were puzzled, as if they were just as confused as I was about their attention, yet there was interest in their gazes as well.

The man I had to buy silk from was an asshole to me usually, but when I stood in front of his stall, he was all smiles.

"What can I do for you?" he asked, resting his elbows on the table and leaning toward me.

"Just a quarter yard of blue silk," I said, avoiding looking at him. Blue was El's favorite color.

"Sure thing, doll." He cut a bit of silk, then turned to me with a smarmy smile.

I reached out to take the silk, and he took my hand between his, pushing the fabric into my hand.

"You take good care of this, all right?" he said, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. "And if you need more, you know where to find me."

"R-right." My skin crawled as I pulled my hand free of his. I wished I could run away, but running would only call more attention to me. A wolf couldn't ignore escaping prey.

As I walked out of the market, I racked my brain for some kind of explanation. Was it because I wasn't wearing my bandanna? Was it something about the detergent I'd used? And then it hit me like a punch to the gut: they were scenting that I was in heat. As far as they knew, I was human, so they couldn't figure out why I was suddenly so attractive to them.

Oh no. I needed to get this thing under control ASAP.

I returned to my den and raised my wrist to lick the mark, when a thudding knock shook through my home. That knock held authority, and fear shivered through my bones. What if one of the high-wolf society guards had caught an interest in me and followed me home? What if he tried to force himself on me? My wolf growled at the thought, a vow that she would kill him the moment he tried. I didn't have her confidence we could survive an encounter like that.

The knock came again, and I shuddered.

"Phaedra Revera," a male voice called. "I know you're in there. I need to speak to you."

"J-just a minute." The only weapon I had in my home was the baseball bat I kept by the entrance. I doubted it would do much against one of the Wilcox pack's trained men, but it was better than answering the door emptyhanded.

After taking a few deep breaths, I went to the door and opened it a crack, keeping the bat out of view.

"Yes?" I asked then gasped when I saw Randall Sikes, Connor's future beta. He was a mountain of a wolf, and I had to crane my neck to see all of him. He had black hair, black eyes, and so much muscle it was a wonder he could move at all. I didn't stand a chance against him.

"Phaedra, your presence is requested at the Salcedo manor."

"Is that so?" Being in Randall's presence brought back all the manners I'd learned while living in luxury. My back straightened, and my voice softened. "May I ask who sent the request?"

"Connor."

Well, that answered one question, but it also raised many more of them. And along with those questions came a burst of anger. I'd been living here for five years. What the hell could that pompous asshole want from me now?

"Well, maybe we could work out some time that I could head down there," I said, hoping I sounded as easygoing as I meant to. "I'm a bit busy at the moment, and I don't want to step away."

"I'm sorry, Phaedra." He pushed the door open with ease. In my surprise, I dropped the bat and it rolled away from me. "I must insist you come with me." He reached for my left arm. The moment his large hand closed over my wrist and the fated mate mark, instinct took control.

With strength even I wasn't aware I had, I snatched my wrist out of his grasp and held it to my chest.

Silence. Randall stared at me. It was the only time I'd ever seen him look surprised. He clearly hadn't expected me, or anyone else for that matter, to be able to break free of his grasp.

Thinking quickly, I rubbed the wrist and flashed him an apologetic smile. "I-I'm so sorry, Randall. I burned my wrist while working this afternoon and it's still tender."

"Oh, my apologies." He bowed slightly. He must have believed me because he really did seem apologetic. "If you have medicine, I will bind it for you."

"No, no, that won't be necessary. I'll just cover it with a bandage for now."

I went to my bathroom to get the first-aid kit. My wolf must have temporarily taken control back there. I would never have been able to muster up that much power on my own. I was grateful for it because if she hadn't stepped in, Randall might have seen the mark.

I smoothed a bandage over my wrist and let out a small sigh of relief. One crisis avoided. Before I left the bathroom, I doused myself with perfume I'd bought on a discount at the market. Next, I brushed out my hair and put it into a neater bun. I wanted to cover up the scent of my heat and play it off as embarrassment for my appearance. When I was done, I returned to the living room where Randall was waiting for me.

I smiled politely. "I hope you don't mind, I spruced up a little before we left."

"Not at all," he replied, his eyes passing over my bun and one of his nostrils twitching at the cloud of perfume. "But we've wasted enough time as it is."

I expected him to lead me, but he took hold of my right arm and pulled me out of my den. My wolf growled. This was such a great insult to both of us, and she couldn't believe I was just letting him do this. She didn't care that he was three times our size and Connor's best-trained man.

Randall kept hold of my arm as we entered the carriage that would take us to the wrought-iron gates separating high-wolf society from Den City. His grip wasn't painful, but it wasn't one I could slip out of again. He didn't need to be so firm with me. It wasn't like I would have gotten very far if I tried to escape. He would just hunt me down again.

As we rode to the gates, I thought about what Connor could possibly want from me. Had he somehow figured out that I was there when the Holo statue was destroyed? Or maybe he'd learned I had a wolf? If he wasn't aware, would he figure it out when he noticed I was in heat?

I glanced at Randall, whose hard, square face stared straight ahead. He didn't seem at all affected by my hormones, but that didn't really surprise me. He had always been such a stoic man, and I'd often wondered if he was capable of feeling anything for anyone beyond his loyalty to Connor.

I kept my posture straight and turned my attention to my window. My hands wanted to fidget, and my legs wanted to bounce, but Randall was keeping an eye on me even if it didn't seem like he was. It would be more suspicious if I let my worries show too much. I'd gotten so good at keeping my emotions hidden when I was part of high-wolf society because that was what I'd been taught and encouraged to do. I could keep calm now, even though the last thing I wanted to do was see Connor again.

To keep my mind occupied, I watched the shops and people pass by through the window. It had been years since I'd been behind the gates, but not much had changed. The streets were cobblestone, and the homes were all aboveground, painted according to the homeowners' preferences. There were streetlights and buildings built close together. It had always felt to me like something that would have been illustrated in one of my fairy tale books.

After so long away from this place, I could see it for what it really was: a bunch of too-rich families trying to out-do each other to get more of the Salcedo family's favor. This town was nothing but a massive display of wealth and power, and even though it was beautiful, it was only meant to veil the truth.

The carriage pulled to a stop in front of the Salcedos' golden mansion. Randall and I mounted the tall staircase and entered the gilded halls. I expected him to take me right to Connor, but instead, he led me in the direction of the tailors. He opened the door and basically pushed me inside the room, then shut the door with a tight snap.

The Salcedo family had their own on-call tailors for the numerous fancy galas they held for themselves and their friends. I'd been to the tailors' room many times. As Connor's chosen, I'd had the same privileges his sister and mother enjoyed. Though I was trying to stay impassive, I couldn't deny that it was emotional whiplash to be here after such a long time.

"Phaedra, how nice to see you!"

The two primary stylists—an older woman named Jean, and Beatrice, her younger apprentice—smiled at me like we were just as close as we'd ever been. And if they noticed the perfume I'd doused myself in, it didn't show in their smiles.

"Hello," I said, the polite smile returning to my face. "It's been a long time."

"I'll say." Beatrice beamed at me like it had only been a couple of days and not five years since I'd last stood in front of her. She held a tape measure in her hands and started to get my measurements right away. "I'm glad Connor called you back here. We missed you terribly."

"Mm. Likewise." I was indignant about this bizarre situation, and I felt disrespected by Randall and by Connor, but it wasn't a complete lie. I did miss this place and this manor. For the first couple of years of my exile, especially, I'd wished that I could have Jean and Beatrice's bubbly, disarming personalities to cheer me up. That old part of me was happy to be seeing old friends, and it wanted to feel at ease seeing them again.

Unfortunately, feeling at ease wasn't something I could do. Beatrice and Jane were trying so hard to pretend Connor hadn't ruined my life. And they didn't seem nearly as weirded out by my being back here as I would have thought. They were almost being too friendly, and I couldn't completely trust them.

The one silver lining of this situation was that I might be able to pump them for information.

"Speaking of Connor," I began. "Do either of you know why he changed his mind?"

They moved up from measuring my hips and waist to my shoulders. As I held my arms out, I was glad I'd covered the mark with the bandage. All I had to worry about now was getting out of there without losing my mind from the pulsing ache in my lower belly.

"No," Jean replied. "All he told us was that he wanted a dress made for you to attend his alpha ascension ceremony."

"Oh." That was all I could come up with. I didn't think they were lying. Their body language and chipper expressions told me they believed they were being earnest, but when they talked about the ascension ceremony and Connor, I got the impression they were leaving something out. It confused me, but my gut had never led me astray, and I trusted it more than I trusted any of the people here.

But if Connor was doing all of this because he wanted me to see him ascend, what had made him change his mind about me? Was he getting a bit nostalgic for old times now that he was going to take the position over from his father? My wolf began to pace again, but it wasn't because we were in heat. It was because Connor must have thought so little of us. I had no intention of giving him the satisfaction of seeing me on the day of his ascension. I wanted to be off of this island before then.

"… it wonderful, Phaedra?" Jean asked.

Her question pulled me out of my swirling thoughts. "Hm?"

"I said, isn't this wonderful? Connor changing his mind about you, I mean. You could get in touch with all of your old friends."

"It'll be like old times again," Beatrice added.

There was a time in my life when I would have done anything to regain Connor's favor, but after everything I'd been through and how hard I'd worked for freedom, being in Connor's clutches was the last thing I wanted.

"Oh, yes," I lied. "It's great news."

I clenched my hands as they continued to chat. I kept my face a friendly mask, but inside I was livid. Just what did Connor want from me? He had rejected me all those years ago and had completely ignored my existence. Why would he want me back now?

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