38. Asher

ASHER

I watched as Phaedra dropped to her knees and fell onto her side, a pool of red slowly spreading beneath her. I didn't realize I was screaming until I had to fill my lungs with air. But even knowing that I was screaming, I couldn't stop. I was the only one capable of making a sound. Because of Kestrel, everyone else remained stoic and still. I was the only voice to the horror unfolding in front of our eyes.

I howled for her from the depths of my soul, through every fiber of my being.

Despite my cries, she lay still, unmoving. I wasn't even sure she was still breathing.

Kestrel reached bloody hands up to the bridge and began to chant. The bridge slowly descended, and she hopped onto it, letting it take her back to its original position.

"None of you even know it was a blessing that this bridge was destroyed when Holo died." Her voice was an insult to my ears, her existence an insult to my being, yet still she taunted me. Taunted all of us.

"You wolves are nothing but slaves and entertainment on Emerys, yet you worship those gods and live in the hope that you will be the next pack the gods choose to allow to cross into that sacred land. Stupid mongrels. Idiot dogs. That's all you are. If you hate the way I've controlled you now, this is just a taste of how things will be once I've reached the true potential of my power."

She used the blood to smear into the runes on the stone bridge. She started speaking in the language of the gods, and the floating bridge changed. The runic letters glowed pearlescent-white, and the bridge vibrated. I finally stopped screaming when boulders raised from the ground. One by one, they attached themselves to the bridge, the cracks fusing with blue and repairing itself using the stones from the cave.

Did this mean it was over? That this was the end?

As if I was watching the movie of my life, every failure that had led to this moment began to play out in my memory. There was my father killing Holo—following the advice of a twisted witch—my father's tyrannical mistreatment of my pack, the arrogance that led to his demise at the hands of his own brother-in-law.

But it wasn't just his decision that had led to this moment. I had played a large role here as well. After all, I'd allowed my love for someone who was now dead or dying to overshadow my responsibilities to my pack. I'd fumbled that love over and over again and rejected her even more times than Connor. I let us get cornered by the ferals and couldn't keep her from using her powers to stop them. Within days, my actions resulted in the death of my uncle and Phaedra, and now Kestrel was about to cross into Emerys and wreak havoc among the gods.

I buried my face in the grass below me, succumbing to the inevitability of it all. What was the point of holding it back if nothing and no one could save us now. My thoughts became a loop of hopelessness until even my wolf's whines became a distant sound… and then I heard a faint thump.

My eyes snapped open. I stared at her motionless body and waited, waited… and then it came again. I hadn't imagined it. That thump was her heartbeat. Somehow, my fighter of a mate was still alive.

As I realized this, her voice came back to me. " No ," she'd said. " I can't accept that. This can't be how it all ends. "

She'd stood up to Kestrel, stared into her own face, and refused to accept that this was the end. How was she so certain of that that she would refuse to accept her own death? What kept her going?

I looked around at the people who had become mannequins. I'd thought their minds were controlled, but I was wrong. Those faces bore tears. They bore redness of the effort it took to try and fight against Kestrel's control. Most of them were still feeling, still thinking, still fighting.

Still hoping.

I needed to hope with them. I still had the amulet. I'd put it on my neck before I shifted, and it was there now. I just needed to… do something with it.

"Psst! Asher!" I recognized the little voice that spoke at my ear.

I looked in that direction, and Eleanor became visible. I wasn't sure how long she'd been here, but now she'd made herself known to me, I was the only one who knew she was there.

"I think I can help," she said, tears glimmering on her tiny face. "I have an idea for a distraction, but it would only last a few seconds. Would that give you enough time to save Phaedra?"

I couldn't answer with my wolf mouth, but I could manage a nod.

She nodded back. "You'll know when to start moving."

I watched her fly over to Kestrel, who was still in the midst of her chanting. A few seconds passed, and then she hovered just a few inches above Kestrel's head, beating her wings as hard as she could. Then it hit me. Phaedra had always been sensitive to pix powder. If Kestrel was in her body, then it stood to reason she would be susceptible to it as well.

And sure enough, Kestrel's chants were interrupted when she started sneezing. That was when I knew it was time to start moving.

Connor was still holding me down, but the hand he held at the back of my neck had slackened. Perfect. I turned and bit through it. He screamed, and I got to my feet, shifting as I moved. I wanted to run, but my leg crumpled under me, the spear still firmly embedded inside.

The sneezing fit had interrupted her chants, but the portal had already begun to open, revealing a crystal blue sky. I was out of time. In a fit of defiance, I shouted, letting my instinct push me to throw the amulet as hard as I could toward Kestrel, right as the portal opened.

It shone even in the low light, glowing a similar color to the runes on the bridge. Kestrel turned and caught it, like she'd seen me throw it. The cackle that fell from her lips shattered my heart.