37. Phaedra

PHAEDRA

K estrel subdued Penny and me immediately. With Penny, she only had to point to get her in line, but she had Randall carry me. I couldn't say why she didn't make me walk all the way to Heartbridge Cave. When I fell, I'd jostled something loose in my hip. Maybe she could somehow tell I wouldn't be able to make the trip, or maybe it was because she wanted to show her old body some kindness. Either way, I was captured. There was no way I could get out of Randall's grip.

As we moved out of the Salcedo manor, I saw Kestrel had gained control of what seemed to be every able-bodied member of high-wolf society. Those who had joined the revolution, weapons still in hand, followed her without complaint, their faces stoic, but their eyes wide, confused, and fearful.

Among them, I saw Theo, Leonora, Selene, Layla, and others I recognized. Everyone was here, and none of them could fight against her control. Gods, was this the extent of my power? Or was Kestrel just a master at using it already? Either way, it sickened me. No one was meant to have this ability. Subduing another person's body like that was wrong on so many levels.

I could relate to the horror they must have been feeling, but at least I could more or less move this fragile on my own. They were locked within themselves, forced to be Kestrel's puppets. And I hated that it looked like I was the one who was doing it to them.

The pix were nowhere to be seen as we reached the wooded path that would take us to Heartbridge Cave. Good. I hoped to the gods that El and her people were as far away from this cursed procession as possible.

Finally, we reached Heartbridge Cave. It looked the same as it had last night. My clothes were probably still where I'd left them.

"Randall, set her down somewhere she can be comfortable," Kestrel said, gesturing vaguely with her hand.

He eased me gently onto one of the boulders, then stood near me with his hand on my shoulder. It was almost a comfort having him close, despite the circumstances. Connor snaked through the crowd to stand next to Randall. He stared at me, taking in my new face with a frown.

"Phaedra, that's you?" he asked. "Really?"

I sighed in response.

"Then… you were the one I was talking to back at the manor? Why didn't you say anything?"

I stared at him and finally said one of the many things I'd been wanting to tell him for months. "Shut the fuck up, Connor."

He sputtered, actually speechless for once.

Kestrel laughed and held her arms up. "Well?" she asked, turning to grin at me. She was holding her cane, using it like a performing magician would, gesturing with it, waving it around like it was an extension of her arm. The display was only helped by the gown she'd changed into at the manor: a snow-white gown with sleeves that extended almost to the ground, and a slit that went all the way up past my hip. It was one of the more extravagant dresses Beatrice and Jean had made for me. They were probably somewhere in this procession, too. How awful. I think I would rather be naked in front of this crowd.

"Well, what?" I asked, my voice a flat monotone.

"About this?" The long sleeve flowed with the movement of her arm as she gestured over the large crowd she'd gathered. "These people did nothing but ignore you, torment you, or make you serve them," she said. "Now they're at my beck and call. You can't tell me you don't feel some satisfaction seeing them helpless."

"Actually, I can," I said. "What you've done to them is horrifying. This ability is horrifying. Nothing about this gives me any pleasure."

That took some of the glee out of her face. Good. I hated the way that smile had looked on my face.

"You're just a spoilsport and a goody-goody, just like your mother."

I lifted my chin. "That isn't an insult."

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught movement again, but this time, it wasn't my imagination. I would recognize that streak of silver fur anywhere.

Asher.

My relief was quickly overshadowed by fear that Kestrel would notice him. He looked determined. Had he found what we needed?

I wanted to try and give him some cover, so I kept my gaze firmly on Kestrel's. "Especially not from the person who has to steal someone else's body to get what she wants."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I guess that's why your magic wasn't enough to keep me from taking control. You lack ambition and drive, and because of that, you get to sit in that old, decrepit prison. Look at you, practically a corpse already."

It wasn't exactly pleasant to be in this body, but it disturbed me that she could speak so cruelly about herself.

"Have you always been this way, Kestrel?"

Her mouth flattened into a straight, humorless line. She almost looked like she wanted to answer, but then she looked sharply to her left and smirked.

Fuck, she'd spotted Asher. Connor started moving, grabbing a spear from one of the guards and throwing it like a javelin. It pierced right through Asher's haunch.

My stomach dropped as my mate cried out in pain. I wished I had the strength to go to him, but Randall's hand that had been a comforting presence now kept me rooted to the rock.

"Asher," she said, watching him hold his bleeding leg. "I wondered when you would join us."

Connor went to Asher and rolled him onto his stomach, holding him there with his knee in his back.

Kestrel threw back her head and laughed. "And just like that, I've defied fate. Who would have thought it would be so easy ?"

I willed myself not to cry. I was so angry, but I didn't want to give Kestrel the satisfaction. "What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"Oh, of course, you're not aware of the entire story." She crooked her finger in my direction, and Randall picked me up again, moving me closer to Kestrel, setting me on my feet in front of her.

"You asked me if I've always been this way," she said. "The answer is no. I used to live in Emerys among the gods. But they were jealous of my power and rightfully worried that I would turn against them one day. They banished me from my homeland and made me forget that truth about myself. I kept myself alive for decades by devouring the pix, harnessing magical knowledge I instinctively knew I needed, but never understanding why..

"Until, about twenty-two years ago, when I finally found a spell that would help me recover some of my memory. Along with a few of the memories of my luxurious life in Emerys came a vision. A prophecy, of sorts. It foretold that the progeny of an alpha and a goddess would defeat me. I knew it had to be about Holo, who'd committed the shameful sin of falling in love with the alpha of one of the lowly wolf packs in Emerys."

"So, you've known about me from the beginning," I said, stepping back in horror.

"Oh, yes. You see, little mouse, I was masterminding this plan while you were still in the womb. Nearly all of this was planned. I sensed it the moment Holo crossed the bridge to flee here and give birth without the other gods knowing. And because I knew there was an alpha who'd just lost his wife in childbirth, it was a simple thing to convince him to poison the goddess in order to get a bit of vengeance for allowing his wife to die.

"I hadn't expected Holo would survive long enough to give birth to you, Phaedra, nor that the Wilcox pack would find you. But when I learned you were alive, I knew all I needed to do was get a bit of your blood, gain control of your powers, and use them to prevent that prophecy from coming true so I could take my revenge on the gods. It was so simple! "

She threw her head back and laughed. I glanced at Asher, who was gaping at Kestrel. She really had planned nearly every step of this. Did that mean that even from the start, we were always doomed to fail?

"No," I said, returning my attention to Kestrel. "I can't accept that. This can't be how it all ends."

"Believe it." I felt a sharp, searching pain in my abdomen. When I looked down, I saw a dagger protruding from my stomach. Kestrel had moved so quickly I hadn't noticed her take the dagger from Randall's belt.

I gasped, my mouth filling with blood.

She leaned toward me, looking deep into my eyes. "The last thing I need is the blood of a disgraced goddess to begin to repair the bridge. And as that's my blood in your veins"—she yanked the knife back out, and crimson gushed from my abdomen onto her white dress—"your role in this plan is fulfilled."