5. Asher

ASHER

A keening howl split through the morning air, interrupting my review of the pack's paperwork. My chair toppled over as I jumped up and ran out of my cabin to help the wailing wolf. The paperwork could be dealt with some other time. The sharpness of that cry told me someone in my pack was about to go feral and I needed to be there to get him out of it before we lost him.

I followed the growls and coughs toward the center of my pack. There, I spotted the poor wolf pacing back and forth, shaking his head. His name was Nate, and his pregnant mate Sasha stood to the side in her wolf form, watching him with wide, concerned eyes. She was close to him, and he occasionally pressed his nose to the fur at her neck before pacing again. Poor guy. He was fighting to get back to her.

Spending so much time as wolves made it easier to stay in our wolf forms rather than returning to our human forms, but it also risked us going feral that much sooner. I tried to remind my pack of that, but I couldn't blame them when they lost sight of themselves. This was no way to live, and I was ashamed of the life that my father had forced us into.

Taig, in his wolf form, was sitting nearby. He watched me approach, dark eyes wary. He tapped the ground twice with his paw and nudged his head in Nate's direction. I caught his meaning. Nate was pretty far gone.

I nodded. Given his cautiousness, he had probably tried to convince Nate back to his senses and hadn't succeeded. If he had gotten there in time, he might have been able to do it, but the fact that he hadn't been able to bring Nate back meant I'd need to command him as an alpha to calm him.

As I got close, I looked at Sasha, worried that Nate might have accidentally hurt her. Thankfully, she didn't seem injured or in distress, just worried about her mate. Pregnancies weren't affected by having to switch between forms so frequently, but when the baby came, she would have to be in her human form. Babies were born as humans and didn't gain their wolf forms until they turned sixteen. A wolf body birthing a human wouldn't be an easy process.

She was due in a couple of months, which meant it was even more imperative I take care of the curse. I was certain giving birth would be less stressful if she didn't have to worry about feeling the pull to shift halfway through.

I had nearly reached Nate when Taig suddenly sprang to his feet. Seconds later, I realized why. Another wolf, Weston, was running toward Nate. Weston skidded to a stop a few yards away, his head low, his lips pulled back in a snarl. Nate was frozen, standing in front of Sasha, staring hard at Weston.

He and Weston were friends, but it was immediately apparent that Weston wasn't here to pull his friend back to humanity. Weston was close to becoming feral himself.

The shift would be coming over me soon, so I couldn't waste time hesitating.

"Hey," I said, my voice gentle. "Nate, Weston, why don't you go back to your human forms, hm? Let's talk about how things are going. Maybe we'll get a bite to eat at the mess hall."

My words had no effect. Weston continued to move forward, his hackles raising. Nate did the same. Talking wouldn't do anything.

As Nate moved to pounce, I caught him by the scruff of his neck. His flailing claws scratched at my legs. Weston went to attack next, but Taig got between us, forcing him to the ground and holding him down with his paws.

" That's enough !" My voice deepened with the alpha command.

Both wolves went stiff as my voice reached them. They had no choice but to obey.

" Return to your human forms, " I said.

Within seconds, their bodies rippled, and the shift took over. Soon, two naked, shivering men crouched on the ground. They looked confused, as my people always did when they were brought back to their senses. They would only recall flashes of what they had done. Fortunately, neither of them had gotten into any trouble while they were so close to becoming fully feral.

Taig nodded at me and stepped off Weston, which allowed the man to sit up and run his hand through his hair. Sasha went to Nate and licked his face. He wrapped his arms around her and looked up at me. He didn't need to say anything. Neither of them did. They had both witnessed me pull people back from the brink to understand what had happened to them.

Those who had been watching came forward with clothes and sheets and helped Weston and Nate back to their homes. I watched them go and let out a long, deep sigh. I hated using an alpha command on my people. During the last few months of my father's life, he was quick to use the command to force people who disagreed with him, no matter how minor their complaint, to do his bidding.

He was arrogant and a tyrant, and every time I used it I felt like I was following in his footsteps.

As the crowd dispersed, my chest heaved with another massive sigh. In a little while, I would be forced into my wolf form again, and I'd run to get rid of some of the tension that had built between my shoulder blades and down my spine.

An hour after my run, I had to meet Selene Cinna to talk about our mating arrangement. Walking to our meeting place—a cabin built for the purpose near the center of our compound—was a bit surreal considering the mating mark on my wrist. My chosen mate was waiting for me, but the evidence of my bond with another was hidden under the sleeve of my shirt.

The meeting room was on the smaller side, just big enough for a handful of people. The circular table was pine, the same as most of our cabins, and a woven, dyed maroon rug lay under the table's feet. A pitcher filled with ice water on a thin towel along with two glasses stood on the table. One of the glasses was already filled, and there was a slight smear of pink lipstick around the rim.

Selene had arrived before me and made herself at home. I didn't mind. She was cunning, she was observant, and she was willing to do anything to make sure her pack survived. All of these things made her an ideal mate for me, even if we didn't have the fated mark to prove it. Our union had been in the works for four years, and it was one of the few things my father had done before he died that made any political or strategic sense.

My wolf whined and huffed at the thought of being with Selene, but I ignored his protests. Behind me, I heard the door open.

"Oh, you're earlier than usual," Selene said as she closed the door.

"I think I'm right on time."

"Yes," she agreed. "You usually make me wait. But after a trip to the bathroom, I find you here like a gift." Her smile edged toward flirtatious, so I returned it.

She was a gorgeous woman, there was no doubt about it. She had long, chocolate brown hair, and deep brown eyes to match. Her body was slender and smooth, but I'd seen her train, and I knew that she packed a lot of power despite her lithe form and bright smile. It was no wonder why someone like her was able to become the alpha of the Coldcrow pack. She'd fought for it and won, unlike me, who'd assumed the role by succession. Because of that, she didn't have to fight challengers from her pack just to prove her worth as a leader. I envied her position.

Not that I could blame my pack. It was just the way things worked.

Selene perched on top of the table and crossed one leg over the other. The dress she wore was simple, nothing like the kinds of gowns that Wilcox's high-wolf society wore, but it was a pretty shade of lilac, and it suited the curves of her hips and chest really well. There wasn't a man on Isle Royale who wouldn't give Selene a second glance, but all I could think about was the woman I'd met days ago—the freckles spread across a small nose, and the eyes that were the blue-gray of the stormy sky. I could feel the warmth of desire spread under my skin, a sharp need for her breaking through. I tried to push it away. I had to focus on business now.

"So, what brings you to my territory?" I asked, pouring myself a glass of water.

"Soon to be our territory," she corrected me with a sweet smile. "I came because I was curious about how close you are to fighting Edgar."

"Of course." I took a long drink to organize my thoughts. It had been a week since our last meeting. Of course she would want to have an update. "Each battle we have with the Wilcox pack gains us another few yards of territory. Unfortunately, Edgar hasn't been commanding his army."

She nodded, her smile dimming into a puzzled frown. "I've heard he's had his son heading the skirmishes as his ascension gets close."

"Yes." I sighed and leaned against the table next to her. "The extra territory is nice, and embarrassing Connor is a bonus, but our ultimate goal is to kill Edgar. The day he comes out to face me instead of his son is the day I'll be able to kill him and break the curse."

"And once that happens, you and I will combine our packs and take control of this island," she said, her smile returning.

Selene seemed more excited than I was for our union. I couldn't blame her. The reason we'd chosen each other in the first place was because the Coldcrow pack had very little territory. She was struggling to get enough food to feed her pack, and before we made our alliance, a third of her people abandoned her pack for the mainland.

The smaller pack was a blow to her pride, though having less mouths to feed did make things a bit easier. Still, with so little territory, there wasn't enough food to keep their stomachs full. Under my father's reign, the Dagger pack had dealt with food insecurity too; the Wilcox Pack had the most territory, which meant they had the largest population of moose. The Coldcrow were slowly being starved to death.

As long as the Dagger pack shared our meals with the Coldcrow, Selene would supply us with her men, which we desperately needed to take on the Wilcox army. Once Edgar was dead and control of our curse was in my hands, we would combine our packs. It was a pretty good arrangement, and as long as Selene never found out about the mark on my wrist, I'd be able to follow through on my promise without issue.

"Are you sure that was all you wanted to talk about?" I asked.

She hesitated, her smile faltering as she averted her eyes. "Do you mind if I take a few pounds of jerky from your food stores? My people went through ours too quickly."

"I see."

As her mate, I should have been comforting her. It was clear she was embarrassed about having to ask for more help.

I touched her shoulder and gave her what I hoped was a non-judgmental smile. "We're in a partnership, Selene. Of course you can take more."

She looked up at me. "I understand that it will move your next hunt closer than you'd planned."

"Yes, but we rely on your men. As long as they're ready for the change in schedule, it doesn't bother me."

When the tension left her shoulders, I knew I must have said the right thing.

"I can't wait for all of this to be over," she said, slipping off the table. She took the glass from me and set it next to hers. "My pack will have stability, yours will finally regain the power that was stolen from you, and we'll shake up the status quo the Wilcox pack forced on all of us. It'll be the start of a new era."

Selene slipped her arms around my neck to hug me. Lately, she'd become more affectionate. Normally, I didn't mind. I imagined she was just trying to get used to me before we claimed each other, but when she drew close, my wolf started to growl in protest. I wouldn't have pulled away—fated mate or no fated mate—but she suddenly pulled back before her chest touched mine.

"Hold on." She sniffed at me, her expression confused. "You smell different."

I hesitated. My immediate impulse was to deny that she was smelling another female on me, but it would have been stupid to lie when she had already guessed part of the truth. My second impulse was to laugh it off, but the serious quirk to her lips told me it wouldn't go over well.

She peered up at me with reproach. "Have you taken a lover?"

Before I could think of anything better, I went on the defensive. "I don't think that's any of your business," I snapped. It came off more aggressively than I meant, but it was too late to take it back now. "We're not exactly mated yet."

A beat passed, then another. "That's true." She took a step back, crossing her arms over her chest. The reproach on her expression became one of hurt. I didn't have the chance to try and make it up to her because her face quickly morphed into a professional, blank mask.

"I know you are two years younger than me," she said, "and that unmated men your age can take on many lovers before settling down. But I also know it's easy for little romantic flings to ruin alliances like ours." She eyed me. "Just make sure you get it out of your system before May."

It felt like I was a child being scolded, which irked me, but I swallowed my pride. She was right, though not in the way she thought. I needed to get rid of the fated mate mark and my bond to that woman. On the first of May, Selene and I would claim each other. That was the day after Connor's ascension was meant to take place, and when the curse ought to be lifted. The night we mated would solidify our relationship and our commitment to our combined pack. We'd likely have pups on the way after that, and no one would want a lover getting in the way of that.

"You don't have to worry," I said. "I won't ruin our alliance."

She nodded. "I know. You have a lot riding on this as well." She brushed past me as she headed for the door.

When the door shut behind her, I breathed a sigh of relief and took the pitcher and our glasses to clean. As I washed them in a basin, I let out yet another sigh. If only that woman hadn't pretended to be the goddess. If only I hadn't gone to sacred lands. If only my father hadn't irreparably damaged our relationship to the goddess in the first place. If different choices had been made at those key points, I wouldn't be lying to my chosen mate, and there would be no fated mark branding my wrist. It was difficult not to feel frustrated and angry, but those sorts of emotions wouldn't help me get closer to my goal.

After cleaning up, I went to my cabin to relax. I decided to stay in my human form for as long as I was able, though it would only last a couple more hours. I planned on rereading one of my mother's novels. They were among the few things I'd kept of hers.

To prepare for that, I heated the kettle and poured the water over my tea , but before I could drink it, a sudden jarring feeling came over me. It shuddered from my lower spine up between my shoulder blades to the back of my neck. It was such a brief sensation, but in the wake of it, I was left feeling… aroused? My heartbeat elevated, pushing blood toward my cock.

"What the hell?" I whispered to the silence of my cabin.

As if in answer, I heard a digging, shuffling sound outside, like someone or something was pawing around my home. I crept outside, hoping to sneak up on whatever it was. There, I froze.

A familiar black wolf was sniffing around the bushes behind my home. The woman had come looking for me.

My surprise at seeing her turned to concern when I continued watching her. Her wolf was panting hard, like she couldn't fill her lungs with air. She was whining and licking her left wrist. Every time she did, that shudder stole over me again.

The moment she spotted me, she charged at me. I caught her when she jumped into my arms, and her tongue flicked out to lick my cheek. I'd never experienced a female wolf be so affectionate, and it was as startling as it was nice. That was when I understood what was going on. She needed help, and only I would be able to help her.

Take her away . That was the first thought in my mind, and my wolf yipped in agreement. I kept her bundled to my chest and headed to the sacred lands before someone in my pack picked up her scent or saw her. Holo's statue had been built within walking distance of Heartbridge Cave, which held the remnants of the bridge—the stone path to Emrys. The legends said the bridge would light up and connect to a portal that opened to the realm of the gods.

But that bridge hadn't been used in decades, and all that remained of it now was a huge stone that floated overhead. The cave was insulated and quiet—no one would bother us. I released her when we were by the base of Holo's statue, with only the moon and stars above to watch us.

She followed me into the cave. The cave itself looked no different from any other on Isle Royale, aside from the floating stone, of course.

Her wolf sat pressed against my leg, rubbing her head over my thigh, her eyes peering up at me beseechingly. I hovered around her while she moved, unsure of what to do.

I wasn't really being truthful. I knew exactly what to do, and so did my wolf, given the way he was yipping and running around inside me, but mating her was out of the question. That would be a disaster for both of us.

"I won't have sex with you," I told both her and my own wolf. "I can't."

She whined pitifully, then shifted. Fine tremors shook her delicate, freckled shoulders, though it was a warm night. Her storm-blue eyes looked up at me through long lashes. Her curly blonde hair fell softly over her shoulders. That sweet scent of hers was more potent, and it drew me in. I wanted to hold her, but I didn't let myself reach for her.

She wasn't trying to hide her body from me like she had the other night. I wondered if it was because she was eager to relieve the symptoms of her heat, or if she'd had more of an opportunity to explore the bare-skinned aspect of shifter culture. That made me frown. Thinking of her naked around other people, other men, irked the hell out of me. But I hated the way jealousy made me feel. What she did and who she did it with was none of my business. It ought to stay that way.

"We don't have to have se—" she paused, unable to finish the word, then started over. "We don't have to do anything like that." Her cheeks were bright red, and her eyes slid from mine as embarrassment took hold of her. "I-I think my body just needs to be close to yours."

My cock twitched at her murmured words. Her embarrassment was both endearing and so very arousing. Would her cheeks flush like that if I had her beneath me? Or would they grow even redder?

"Are you saying that you want to… cuddle?" I asked.

"Y-yes." Her face reddened further. "When you carried me here, the physical contact helped." She clasped her hands together in front of her. "Even just being next to you makes this a little easier."

I turned a bit from her, running a hand through my hair. I didn't want the bond to get any stronger, but there wasn't any real harm in holding her, was there? A fine sheen of sweat coated her forehead, and she was still blushing deeply. She clearly needed something, and I couldn't let her continue to suffer. As long as we kept ourselves in check, things never had to go further than cuddling.

I sighed. "All right, let's do this." I reached behind me to tug off my shirt and gave it to her. "Put this on."

She took it quickly. "Sure. Thanks."

I looked away as she pulled it on, not wanting to get any more excited by this situation. "Don't mention it," I said flatly. "And I mean that."

She gave a little scoff. "Don't worry. I won't."

There was a large, flat rock near the back of the cave. I went to sit down on it. She was watching me, and I waved for her to come toward me.

She walked closer, sheepish but unable to deny her body's needs. My shirt skimmed the top of her thighs and only just covered the curve of her ass. A slight breeze would reveal everything.

I counseled myself to keep my head straight as she sank carefully into my lap, laying her legs across mine. I wrapped my arms around her, and she settled against my chest. It felt… just right. Her body was warm and small compared to mine, and she smelled like vanilla and grapefruit. Especially her hair, which brushed against my upper arm as she settled against me.

"How's this?" I asked.

"This is good, I think," she said. "This works."

I nodded.

Silence filled the cave, settling awkwardly on the air so much so that I could hardly stand it. She must have felt the same because she suddenly started speaking.

"I-I've never done anything like this before," she admitted.

"That's good to know," I blurted without thinking. When she looked up at me, her eyebrows raised, I wished I could take it back.

"You're… happy about that?"

"Don't get excited," I said. "It's just the mate mark."

"Right. Of course." But when she looked away, I thought for sure I noticed a small smirk on her lush, pink lips.

To distract myself, I said, "I can't believe I'm letting this happen. I don't even know your name."

"It's Phaedra."

"Phaedra," I repeated, testing its feel in my mouth. "That's a strange name."

She snorted. "Like yours is so normal?"

"‘It is normal."

"I don't know. You're the first person I've met named Asher, and I've been around about as long as you have."

I eyed her. "I don't have to let you sit here."

That made her stiffen. I'd meant it as a joke, but given her reaction, she must have been afraid that I really would push her off my lap. Guilt rushed through me, and my arms instinctively tightened around her.

I was quick to change the subject. "So, how long have you been in heat?"

She winced at the word. "It's hard to say," she replied. "I think I've felt it since you bit me, but it got worse as the days went by. Today was the worst. My wolf almost made me leave work early, it was so bad."

"I haven't had an easy time of this, either," I admitted, thinking of the way I'd snapped at Selene earlier. "I've been feeling aggressive lately. And annoyed." But it wasn't so bad right now. I didn't want to admit it, but the tension I'd felt all day had all but gone away since we entered the cave. Though Phaedra was the reason for a lot of the stress I'd felt over the last couple of days, it wasn't so bad now that we were together again.

"I'm a little scared," she muttered.

The confession surprised me. "Of what?" I was a stranger, not someone to confide in. Then again, who else could she talk to about this? I was the only person she knew would understand, and unfortunately, she was that for me, too.

"Myself, I think," she said. "Specifically, my hormones. When we go our separate ways, will the ache come back?"

"I think so. Until we mate—" I paused. The subject of mating couldn't be a when . " Unless we mate," I amended, "it won't go away. That's why we need to find some way to get rid of the marks before things get too far."

"I agree with you, but what can we do?"

I sighed. "I'm not sure. I've never heard of anything like this happening. There's no precedent."

"I was afraid you'd say that. Maybe we can look into it separately. See what we can find. I'm friends with a pix. Maybe she can point me in the right direction."

"I can look into pack history, but my options are limited." Admitting that was frustrating, but it was important we knew where we stood.

"All right. What should we do in the meantime?"

"Well, we'll just have to have more of these meetings, and meet as often as we need to. We can't have you walking around in heat. If the wrong wolf scents you and takes you…"

I didn't need to say more. Her shudder told me she understood what I was getting at. Her heat put her at risk when she was around male wolves. One of them might try to claim her, and if she couldn't fight them off, it would be disastrous and awful. I couldn't imagine how that would traumatize her, and the possibility of her finding a new mate would be, unfortunately, very low.

Thinking about something like that happening to Phaedra made me tighten my arms around her. It took all I had to suppress my growl.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. It's nothing," I replied quickly, easing my hold on her.

"Okay." She didn't sound convinced. "Then, we'll meet here when I need you again, but how will we get in contact with each other?" She tilted her head as she thought. "My friend Eleanor might be able to help, but I'd have to get to the pix village just to contact her. Maybe I could— oh! "

I'd let her work through her thoughts while I calmly lifted my arm. The mark was on my right wrist, and I brought it to my mouth to lick. The moment my tongue touched it, she cut herself off with a jolt that was followed quickly with a little shiver.

"Feel that?" I asked, though I knew the answer.

"Yeah." She rubbed the back of her neck. "It felt like a finger running down my spine."

I smiled. "It feels the same for me. Any time you need me, just lick the mate mark, and we'll meet each other at Heartbridge Cave."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense. Most people avoid this place out of reverence… but you didn't hesitate to bring me here."

I shrugged. "This was where we met, so it made sense to bring you here. Besides, you and I are probably already out of favor with the gods, so what does it matter?"

She snorted. "True enough."

A few moments passed, and when I looked down at her, I found her eyeing me.

"What?"

"You don't still believe in the gods, do you?" she asked.

The question confused me. "I thought everyone did?"

She shook her head. "No. It's not like any of us have ever seen one, and I think the fact that neither of us were struck down by Holo when you destroyed her statue is proof enough that they don't exist, right?"

"I don't think so." I frowned at her. "I've seen her."

"Who? Holo?"

I nodded.

She arched an eyebrow. "Are you sure? I was the closest thing that anyone's gotten to talking to the gods, and I'm just some girl."

I started to respond but thought better of it. My history with the goddess was none of her business. We might have had a fated bond, but she was still the enemy. I needed to be on my guard around her.

"Forget I said anything." I stood up.

I must have moved too quickly because she fell off my lap and landed on the ground with a yelp.

"Ouch," she said, glaring up at me. "Jerk."

"You'll live," I said, taking her hand and helping her to her feet. "It's late. I need to go."

"Right. I guess I'll see you later. Do you want your shirt?—"

"No, keep it." The last thing I needed was someone smelling her on my clothes.

"I think I'll just leave it here," she said. "So you have something to wear later."

"Suit yourself."

She peeled off the shirt and shifted. Her gorgeous wolf gave me one last look over her shoulder and then ran out of the cave, heading back to Wilcox territory. With her gone, the cave felt too large and empty. My body missed the warmth of hers, and I felt lonely. My wolf, of course, wanted me to follow her. I ignored him.

I took off my pants and tossed them next to my shirt. It smelled too much like her. Leaving the pants there would help get rid of any trace of her on me, and she was right, having clothes here for me to wear just made sense. I shifted and took a few seconds to roll in the dirt before heading home, just to make sure her scent was gone.

Phaedra had only sat in my lap, but the run back to my territory felt like I was taking the walk of shame. When I arrived at my cabin, I pushed open the door and found a wolf waiting for me there. Most of his fur was light gray but for the reddish fur along his spine. It was Taig, my right-hand. We both shifted to our human forms so we could speak comfortably.

"Hey," I said, hoping I didn't look as guilty as I felt. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

With as much nonchalance as I could muster, I went to the stove to reheat the tea I'd abandoned when I'd found Phaedra outside my door.

"I wanted to give you the monthly budget for the supplies we need." He followed me and leaned against the wall. "I wasn't expecting you to be gone so long."

Taig was a large, muscular guy, and he had the toughness to back up his bulk. On the battlefield, he was an incredible warrior. The scar running from his right temple into his cheek proved it. But when he wasn't fighting, he was a thoughtful, quiet guy who sat at his desk as often as he could to handle pack finances. He had ash-blond hair that he kept short at the sides. The hair at the top of his head tended to grow faster than the rest. He was twenty-five, making him one year my senior, but we'd grown up as close as brothers.

While the tea warmed, I turned to Taig again. "How long did I keep you waiting?"

"Only an hour or so." He paused, tilting his head. "And from the scent, you went back to the sacred lands."

I raised a brow. "You knew I went there before?"

"I didn't want to butt in on your personal time, but now I know you've gone back a second time, I'm curious."

I should have expected Taig would notice. In addition to managing the finances, it was his job to know where I was at all times. I'd need to be more careful. Taig was my brother and my best friend, but I couldn't tell him about Phaedra. Not yet, which was why I kept my wrist hidden from him.

"So?" he prompted.

"I went to the Holo statue to pray for forgiveness," I said, keeping my response as truthful as possible. "With the ascension coming, I didn't want my father's sins bringing me down."

"Oh." His concerned expression softened to understanding. "Do you think she heard you?"

"Maybe, but I don't think it'll do me any good either way."

Taig pushed away from the wall and patted me on the shoulder. "You're a good alpha, Ash. You shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself. Your sins are our sins. The Dagger pack is in this together."

"Right." I nodded, guilt coiling in my stomach. "Together."