4. Phaedra

PHAEDRA

A ll attention was on us as we entered the marketplace. This was the first time since Edgar's death that I'd been here. By now, everyone would have heard Connor and I were mates again. I was no longer someone they could look down on, and the shift in status probably made them uncomfortable.

It made me uncomfortable as well. I'd had a week to settle into it at the manor, but being in Den City was different. I wished I wasn't wearing these fine clothes. It would have been better if I could go back to being invisible, then the mistrust in their eyes couldn't cut through me, and I wouldn't have to see them quickly averting their gazes.

"How are you doing?" Penny asked. "You've been quiet."

"Sorry, Pen," I said, forcing a smile. "It's just weird being back here."

"Oh? Oh!" She slapped her forehead. "Goddess, I'm so insensitive. I should have checked with you before asking you to come out here."

"No, no! If I wasn't okay with it, I wouldn't be here. I'm fine. Just lost in memories."

"Well, if anyone bothers you, let me know. I'm sorry my brother put you in this position. He's really…" Her eyebrows pinched together. She didn't continue, either because she wasn't sure how she wanted to end the sentence, or because she was unwilling to finish it. She cleared her throat. "Why don't we check out that stand?" She pointed to a vendor who sold crocheted blankets.

I'd seen this woman around the marketplace before but had never spoken to her. The woman gave us a friendly smile as she explained which blankets were made from finer materials. Just a woman trying to sell her wares. It was simple and easy, and it felt nice being treated like a normal person. Well, relatively normal, anyway. She was still treating us like high-wolf society.

"Oh, Miss, surely, you'd like something a bit different," the vendor said when Penny picked up a blanket that looked like it was pulled from the cotton of a storm cloud.

"I have one that is knit from wool imported from the mainland." She lifted a powder-blue blanket made from chunky yarn. "This one should be more to your liking."

"No, thank you." Penny's refusal was polite, but firm. "This is perfect." She paid the woman for the blanket and told her to keep the change. When she turned away, she smiled at me as she draped it over her arm. "It reminds me of my dad," she said. "He loved this color. Said it reminded him of Mom's eyes."

I smiled back at her. It was a relief to see her make that expression. "I'm glad you found it."

"Me, too."

We walked around a bit, perusing the various stalls. I bought a pair of linen pants, and Penny bought a bouquet of wildflowers.

After a while, we got hungry and moved over to the food stalls. As we neared, the scents of sweet confections and savory delights filled my nose, and my stomach growled immediately. Though I'd eaten breakfast a couple of hours ago, I wanted to devour everything I set my eyes on.

When I was cast out of high-wolf society, I hadn't been able to afford anything at these stalls, though the scents always tempted me. But now that I was here with Penny, I could walk up to the vendors without feeling like I didn't belong—not that I felt like I fully belonged, but it was vastly reduced. I had money now, and the weight of it in my coin purse was foreign. The last time I'd had weight in my purse, I was about to pay my way out of the Wilcox pack so I could board a ferry to the mainland.

A sudden chill crept up the base of my neck. My wolf bristled. I rubbed the back of my neck and glanced around. The people watching us quickly looked away as my gaze scanned over them, but that wasn't why I was so uneasy. This felt different. Moments later, I caught sight of sloped shoulders and a long dress.

Kestrel, the old witch.

Those eerie eyes of hers pinned me, her thin lips lifting into a strange smile, and then she kept walking, the pace of her slow stride never altering. That was strange, but everything about that woman was. I couldn't tell what was different about her, nor why her presence had made me feel so uneasy. Maybe being back in Den City was making me a little sensitive.

Penny and I bought our meals—she got curry and rice, while I got some pasta that was stuffed in soft bread and then fried, and yogurt parfaits for dessert.

"Where should we sit?" I asked, glancing around the square. There were dozens of available benches behind the food stalls. When I looked at Penny, her attention was on the forest.

"Let's eat somewhere else," she said. "Somewhere more private."

Nodding, I let her lead the way. We left the marketplace and entered the den part of Den City. I recognized my old home, Theodora's, and those of the families I used to work for right away. That life just seemed so far away now, like it had all been a very long, strange dream.

Beyond the dens, we entered the forest, and the path was just as familiar to me. I'd taken this trail many times to get to the Sacred Lands, but we didn't go that far. We walked until we reached a patch of soft grass. I breathed in the forest air and let it out slowly. It was peaceful here. Quiet. The perfect spot to have lunch.

Penny spread her new blanket on the ground for us to sit on. It was a dry area, so it wasn't likely to get stained or damp.

"Sorry we walked so far," she said, smoothing out a ruffle in the blanket. "I just wanted to keep going."

I shook my head. "Don't be sorry. We could go even farther into the forest if you want."

"No, no, here's fine," she said as she sat down.

I sat across from her. We ate in silence. I wasn't going to push conversation too early. Penny was hurting. She was grieving the loss of her father, and I had no idea how much she knew about his death. She might not want to know the truth. The Penny I grew up with would have, but maybe this Penny wouldn't, and as her friend, I needed to respect that.

But didn't she deserve to know what had really happened?

I thought about it as I bit into the fried-bread pasta. The crunch was heavenly, the inside deliciously sinful. The creamy tomato sauce and venison sausage was every bit as satisfying as it had looked. I allowed myself a few minutes to enjoy the food, but soon my thoughts returned to Penny.

I glanced at her. She was eating her curry slowly, her expression blank. It was impossible to tell if she was enjoying it or if she was eating it out of obligation. My heart twisted. I'd never seen such a forlorn expression on her face. Before I could decide whether to tell her what happened to her father, I needed to find out what she knew, but when was the right time to broach the subject?

Before I knew it, I'd finished my food. It was just the right amount to fill me, and now I could tackle the parfait. As I reached for one, Penny started speaking.

"Phaedra, I have to know," she said.

I fumbled with the parfait container, and some yogurt spilled onto my hand. It was as if she was answering the question on my mind.

"You and the Dagger pack's alpha became close recently, right?"

"Ah…"

The way Penny put it made it sound so simple, but it wasn't. How could I encapsulate everything he was to me? My once-fated mate, the man I knew I could never forget, even if I did find myself on the mainland.

"You could say that," I said slowly.

Penny set her curry aside, and her green eyes speared right through me. "Do you still consider yourself close with him?"

I shifted from side to side. This was such a sudden change in the mood, I couldn't help feeling awkward. "I… Honestly, I don't know, Penny. It's a little complicated."

She frowned, her lower lip wobbling. "How can you say that when you know what he did to my father?"

I stopped shifting around. There was no need to keep wondering if telling her the truth was the right thing to do. The question was out there now, and I would tell her everything I knew.

"Asher didn't kill Edgar," I said.

"How do you know?"

"Because I was there."

Her narrowed, searching eyes went wide. "Connor didn't say you were there."

I felt another twist in my chest at the mention of Connor's name. It wouldn't be easy for her to accept the truth, and I hated that I had to be the one to tell her.

"There's a lot that Connor has left out or lied about, Penny," I said. "For one?—"

A sharp gasp from above cut across my words. Penny and I looked up and found a four pix flying over our heads. One of them was Eleanor.

"El!" I said just as she exclaimed, "Phaedra!"

She dived down to my shoulder, a streak of royal blue trailing sparkles, and pressed her cheek to mine—her way of hugging me. Since she was only a few inches tall and weighed less than a grapefruit, it was the best she could do. But I appreciated it as much as I would a hug from Penny or Theodora.

"You're supposed to be on the mainland," she said, stepping back onto my shoulder.

"Ah, that's a long story," I said.

Penny looked from me to El. Her annoyance morphed into confusion, or perhaps it was curiosity. She'd probably never spoken to a pix or been this close to one. Pix tended to avoid large groups of wolves and stuck to the forests. Actually, El might be the only pix who had ever been in the Salcedo manor, but only because Connor had kidnapped her.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," El said. "Who's this?" She gasped and fluttered over to Penny, her tiny hands smoothing over the fabric of Penny's dress. "This feels wonderful! Who made this?"

"Oh, hello," Penny said. The line between her brows eased as she gazed at El. I recognized her expression as awe—exactly how I'd felt when I first made contact with one after being banished from high-wolf society. "My tailors made it. I'm not sure what material they used."

"I see." El touched her chin. "It feels like a cotton blend."

The other pix had left without El. They were used to her stopping and getting distracted by shiny things or beautiful fabric.

I chuckled. "Penny, this is Eleanor. We became friends right after Connor exiled me. Eleanor, this is Penny. She's Connor's sister."

El wrinkled her nose and backed away, her curiosity quickly replaced with suspicion. "I see."

"Don't worry, she's nothing like Connor," I said. "Actually, it's good you're both here. I can catch you up at the same time."

I took a deep breath, then gave Penny a quick rundown. I told her Asher and I had been fated mates, but that we had gotten rid of the bond with Kestrel's magic. And, of course, I explained the curse on the Dagger pack, which was a result of Asher's father's actions. From there, I told them that I intended to pay Edgar so I could leave the island and start fresh on the mainland, but found Connor instead. Edgar and Asher fought, but Asher didn't kill him.

"Asher must have realized that Selene was going to the manor," I said, "because they stopped fighting and arrived in the foyer where Connor, Selene and I were."

Penny had sat still while I spoke, but now she stiffened. She was gearing up to finally learn how her father had died.

"Selene went to the manor to reveal that Edgar could control the Dagger pack's shifts," I said gently. "Edgar knew he had power over the curse, but to my knowledge, he never used that to his advantage."

"But why didn't he?" Penny asked.

El nodded, equally puzzled. She was sitting between us on the quilts. Up until I reached this portion of the story, she had enjoyed the parfait while she listened to me talk, but she stopped, likely sensing the story was coming to a gruesome end.

I shook my head. "I don't know. I haven't had the chance to ask Asher what happened between him and Edgar. It's possible they talked while they fought or after they fought… I just don't know."

Penny didn't look satisfied with my answer, but she seemed to accept that I couldn't pull an explanation out of thin air.

"What happened after that?" she asked. "Who killed my father?"

I sighed and steeled myself for what I knew I had to say next. What happened that day was still etched into my memory. "Edgar said Selene would be put to death for trespassing, but Connor stepped in and put his hand on Edgar's shoulder. He said, ‘You have committed treason against our pack by aiding the Dagger pack, and I'm so very tired of the people around me letting them do what they want.' And then he… he killed your father."

Penny clenched her hands together, her knuckles going white from the strain. "How?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

I swallowed hard. I really, really didn't want to tell her, but I had no right to keep it a secret from her. "Connor… tore his throat out." The memory of the crimson blood spurting from the wound and coating the floor made my stomach turn. Suddenly, I regretted the tomato sauce in my lunch.

I glanced at Penny. She was sitting very still, tears dripping from her chin and into her lap. I wanted to reach out to comfort her, but Penny had never liked being comforted, not even by her parents.

After a while, she took a deep, shuddering breath, her statuesque posture faltering. "Goddess," she whispered, pressing her hands to her face. "Oh, Goddess, help me."

I wished I had the power of Holo to make my friend feel better, but I didn't. I was only myself, and all I could do was rest a hand on her knee. I expected her to move away, but she laid one of her hands, damp with tears, over mine.

"Now I know why he's been avoiding me," she said. "It was because he couldn't face me after what he's done. The coward. The snake. " She spat it out bitterly. "He's the reason Dad was so busy. Dad was preparing for the ascension for him ."

She took a few more stuttering breaths, then lowered her other hand so that it rested on top of hers, creating a tower of three with my hand on the bottom. "If you ever had a doubt about where my allegiances lie, I want to put that to bed right now." Her eyes held mine as she said, "I'm on your side. Whatever you need from me, whatever your plans are, I want to help you. If that means taking down Connor, then it's for the better. You have my support."

Her words pierced me through the heart and sent shivers down my spine. I'd felt unsure about where Penny stood. As much as I hated Connor, I never wanted to make her choose between her brother and me, but it looked like she was making the choice on her own here and now. I wished I'd had her support when I was exiled, but she had been just as powerless as I was. Now, we were both adults, and we were together again. I had my friend, but I just wished it hadn't come to this because of her brother.

"Penny," I said and put my free hand on top of hers, completing the tower. There was pressure building behind my eyes. "Thank you."

She sniffled, nodded, and attempted a smile. "Of course."

"Don't forget me," El said, flying over and standing on top of our tower with her hands on her hips and her wings flared out. "I'm game, too. So, what are your plans, Phae?" El asked.

"Oh." I blinked the tears away, a ball of hope forming in my stomach. I'd started the day feeling lower than dirt, believing I didn't have much to look forward to. But things were different now. I felt like I was standing at the edge of a cliff, and at the bottom was something new and important. Now, I had the help I needed to get down there.

"I think it goes without saying that we need to take Connor out of power," I said. "But right now, we should try to play things cool. I haven't been in the right frame of mind to think up our next steps, so we should try not to call too much attention to ourselves while we figure things out."

Penny nodded. "I can try, but it won't be easy. I don't know if I'll be able to look at Connor as my brother ever again. The way I feel right now…" Her cheeks reddened and a fiery rage burned in her eyes. "I could kill him myself."

"I get it." I squeezed her hand. "But we can't move yet. We need support."

"I get it," she repeated. "I'll do my best."

El flew to my shoulder again, and Penny and I dismantled our tower of hands. "I still have one question, Phaedra," she said.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Where do you and Asher stand now?"

"Oh. Uhm..." That was the last thing I thought she would say, but I should have expected it. After all, she'd told me Kestrel could break our bond. Now that I was still on the island, and without my fated mate, it made sense she would ask about the nature of our relationship.

It was almost as painful to think about him as it was to remember Edgar's death. I wanted Asher so badly that I ached physically, but there was no salvaging what we used to have now. Not after the way things had gone with him, Connor, and Edgar. Not after we'd dissolved our bond.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I think… I think if we were really fated, the bond wouldn't have broken—not even with Kestrel's help. He'll want to help us take Connor down, but beyond that…" I shrugged. "I think things are over."

I was surprised tears didn't flood my eyes again. Maybe I was getting stronger, or maybe I was just numb. My wolf whined softly, missing the man who was meant to be our mate. Though I felt the same way, there wasn't a way for us to recreate the gods' magic that had created the bond in the first place, so there was no point dwelling over it.

Penny and I weren't super keen on finishing the parfaits, so we told El she could share them with the other pix if she wanted. We folded up the blanket, and Penny draped it over her arm again.

"I'm sad you're leaving already." El pouted. "I appreciate the parfaits, but now that I know you're still on the island, I'd hoped we would get to talk more."

She was trying to seem normal, but the downward tilt of her mouth belied her disappointment and sadness. My heart ached for my friend. I'd missed her while I'd been holed up in the manor.

"I'm so sorry, El," I said, holding my hand out for her to sit on my palm. "We'll have another opportunity to talk. I promise."

She hugged my thumb tightly. "I know." She sniffled. "You just take care of business and let me know how I can help."

"I will," I assured her.

After that, Penny and I walked back to the carriage. It was waiting for us in the same spot we'd left it—right at the entrance to the marketplace. The coachman put down the book he was reading as we approached and opened the door for us.

"I've never spoken to a pix before," Penny said as we climbed inside. "I wish I got to meet her during… less sad times."

I nodded. "So do I. Eleanor is wonderful, and she's a really great friend to me."

"I'm glad she was there for you when I couldn't be," she said. "And I'm glad we can be here for each other now."

Smiling, I nudged her shoulder. "Same here, Pen."

It was dusk by the time the carriage dropped us off at the manor. It hadn't felt like that much time had passed when we were talking, but now the manor was in sight, all I wanted to do was get to my room and snuggle under the covers. But Penny stopped me before I mounted the stone staircase that led up to the front door.

"I don't know what I'd do if I saw Connor right now," she said. "Do you mind if we go around the back?"

"Not at all." It was a good thought. I didn't want to face him either, especially not after I'd spent the day reliving the memory of him killing Edgar.

Penny and I walked around the perimeter of the manor, and my gaze immediately landed on the shed. Asher was being kept there. Despite knowing that we weren't meant to be anymore, I wanted to see him. Yearned to see him, in fact.

And then, as if by magic, I saw a silvery white wolf step from around the back of the shed. Asher. My heart jumped into my throat, and I almost stumbled. We locked eyes, but all too soon, he turned away. I thought I heard a faint whimper as he turned from me, but that was likely my own wolf pining after what we'd lost.