Chapter Thirty-four

Ash finally forced me back into his car and drove us back to the cabin. As soon as we left Tia's, Ash sent a group text to the guys, letting them know we were on our way back. Wyatt and Jag said the party was still in full swing. I asked them to send everybody home. I didn't want to deal with anyone else.

This deep ache in my bones is nothing compared to the way the pain squeezing around my heart feels. The unsettling emotion is like Deja vu—the night my mother informed me Shorty was dead. I felt like I was drowning in a river of agony, trying to keep my head above water. The darkness took over, flooding my lungs and forcing me to gasp for air I knew wasn't coming. Suddenly, my heartbeat begins to slow down as the reality of my existence finally hits me. It's almost like I can see what surrounds me, but I relinquish my control from stopping the inevitable.

Asher's distant voice slowly breaks thoughts of my downfall. His words snap me back to the reality of this fucked up nightmare. How long have we been sitting outside of the cabin? It looks empty. All the cars are gone expect for a few, one of them being Addy's.

Why the fuck is she still doing here?

"I can't have you go down that road again, D. Not like before." Ash stares straight ahead with both hands in his lap.

"I know."

"I won't allow it."

"I know," I repeat.

"I mean it, D." His voice is more serious, He looks exhausted.

"Today was a fucked-up day. A lot of shit went down tonight that shouldn't have, but we can't go back in time and change it."

No shit.

"All we can do now is look out for Shorty."

"And how the fuck are we supposed to do that when she wants nothing to do with us!" I need to fucking punch something.

Ash runs his hands through his hair as he sighs, avoiding my stare. "Staying away keeps her safe."

"Fuck this shit." I shove myself out of the car, slamming the door so fucking hard the windows could've shattered.

"D!" Ash calls behind me, but I don't stop.

I'm so pissed. Pissed off at her for coming back into my life and yanking herself out like it was the easiest fucking thing she had ever done.

Fuck Ash.

Fuck Josiah.

Fuck Shorty.

Fuck them all.

I hate her.

"Fuck!"

I don't hate her. I fucking love her so much it hurts. Loosening the tie from my collar, I bust into the cabin and all the guys jump up from the couch.

"What the fuck?" Wyatt strolls out of the bathroom, pulling the hem of his shirt over his chest.

"So, who died?" Jagger says, playing with the toothpick inside his mouth.

Me. I died.

"Then why the 9-1-1 text?" Wyatt asks.

"Where are the girls?" I ask, looking around.

"They're in the back," Jag says.

I nod.

"There's something you need to know. Something went down tonight," I start while pouring myself a shot of whisky. I raise the bottle of Jack toward the guys, silently asking if they want one. They all nod yes except Jag.

"What happened?" Wyatt asks.

Ash and I go into details about our past, what Shorty means to us, including the lie my mother spilled about her death, and the shit show that went down tonight. We don't leave anything out.

"Yeah, I'll take that drink now," Jag says.

"Are you fucking insane?" Wyatt jumps up from the chair and begins to pace in front of the fireplace. He stops midway and turns to face me and Asher. "What the fuck were you thinking going to South Highs territory?" His voice is thick with anger, raising his fingers against his temple.

"It doesn't matter why we were there."

"The fuck it doesn't! This is way out of our league. We deal with minor shit, not fucking gang bangers."

"It doesn't. What matters is that there is a threat against two girls we need to protect."

Wyatt lets out a sarcastic laugh. "You're shitting me, right?"

I throw him a hard look. "No, I'm not.."

"Really? Because if you were thinking with your head instead of your dick, we wouldn't be in this situation!"

The next thing I know, I'm flying out of my seat charging toward my best friend, ready to break his fucking nose. Ash attempts to stop me, but he is too slow.

"Woah! Dude, calm down!" Jag intercepts by jumping off the couch and wrapping his arms around my waist but he's no match to my strength.

"Seriously? You were going to hit your boy for some pussy?" Wyatt scoffs, taking a step forward, but Ash is quicker. He places both of his hands between us. "If they go after you, they come after us, and our families! Have you thought about that?"

"Stop this shit. And don't fucking call her that," Ash snaps as his eyes move back and forth to me and Wyatt but he gives me a warning look to back off. But he should know that when it comes to Shorty, I won't back down.

"She's not just some pussy! She means something to us!" I'm unable to control the anger while keeping my fists at my sides.

"Don't fucking disrespect her again. I won't hesitate to lay your ass down, Wyatt." I point at his face, letting him know I'm not fucking around.

"Shit. You love her," Jag says with an amused grin. "I've never seen you act like this over any other chick."

I don't correct him because he's right. I do love her, and I'm done trying to hide it. Turning back to Wyatt, I continue pleading. "I lost her once. I can't do it again. I won't."

Their eyes are fixated anywhere but on me. Probably trying to process this fucked up situation. I need to get my point across for them to understand my need to keep her safe.

"Her father used to beat her and now her ex decided it was ok to put his hands on her." I keep my voice low. "He caused so much damage physically and mentally. Her brother just got out of jail for beating the shit out of her ex-boyfriend who happens to be the leader of a gang. She needs me. She needs Ash. I won't deny her that." My voice is heavy with emotion.

"Fuck," Jag whispers while running his hand through his hair several times, taking it all in.

"Where's her dad now?" Jag asks.

"He's dead." I stop myself before I disclose the one secret Shorty asked me to take to the grave. Jag just looks at me with a confused look but nods, knowing not to push further. I know she thinks staying away from her is the best choice, but it's not. She doesn't know the power our fathers have over this city. Tia's right: money can't always be our way out, but it can set things in motion. I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe.

"Ok." Wyatt sighs, sitting back on the chair and taking a drink out of the bottle.

"Ok?"

"Yeah. I get it. We got you." The guys finally agree that staying away from Shorty is not an option. She needs to have more than theKings behind her while this shit blows over. Now I just need to convince my girl.

"Is everything ok?" Addy asks. I turn around to see her standing by the end of the stairs with Eliza standing beside her.

Ash clears his throat. "I'm going to go upstairs and get ready for bed. We can clean up tomorrow." Ash walks past Liz when she wraps her hands around his bicep. "Can we talk?"

He glances over to where she holds his arm. "No," Ash snaps and walks up the stairs.

Liz wipes her tears and glances at Addy. "Can we go?"

Addy nods.

Addy and Liz walk upstairs to gather their things. Once Liz leaves, Addy sits on the couch across from me.

"Are you ok?" she asks in her sweet voice.

"I'm not in the mood for your shit, Addy."

"I didn't mean…I wanted to say I'm sorry. So, so, so sorry." She cries.

I glance up. Addy truly is a beautiful, an all-American type of girl. Her parents own several hotels and resorts throughout the country. She plans on going to school for business management so she can one day take over her parents' business. She has a good relationship with her parents, especially her dad. She is, after all, daddy's little girl. Her parents hoped Addy and I would get married after college. At one point in my life, it made sense, but now that Shorty's back, it's not what I want anymore.

"I'm so sorry for what I said earlier." Her lips tremble. "I didn't mean any of it. I was just hurt and so angry. I was drunk and it wasn't an excuse, I know, but I love you."

"I don't love you." I take the last drink of my whiskey, lean forward, and set it on the coffee table. I rub my hands together between my legs, waiting for this night to end.

"What?" Her tone is full of hurt. I look up and see tears prickling at her eyes. I hate when she cries. Addy is in love with me, but my love for her is more that for a good friend and nothing more.

"Why?" she asks.

I sigh and rub my hands down my face. "Addy, I don't know what you want me to say. I'm sorry for dragging you along. I should've ended it a long time ago. My heart will always beat for her. I never meant any of this to happen, or to hurt you—"

"It happened anyway," she finishes, keeping her head down and her hands in her lap.

The pause is long and heavy until she speaks again.

"Do you love her?"

I swallow. "Yes."

Addy nods and glances away wiping her eyes. When she turns back to me, her face is contorted as though she is struggling not to fall apart.

I kneel in front of her. "Addy, I'm sorry."

It's the truth. It was never my intention to hurt her.

She holds her face in her hands and sobs.

Fuck.

Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she gently grabs my face. "I love you, Donnie. I need you. Please choose me. Pick me," she begs and before I know it, she slams her lips to mine, but I pull away, gently grabbing her wrists.

"No. I'm in love with her. I always have been. I'm sorry, Addy." She stares at me for a long minute before she stands up and walks toward the front door. She glances back at me eyes full of pain and sadness. Without saying a word, she walks out the door closing the chapter of our story.