Chapter Thirty-three

The sound of the door opening forces me to blink several times, trying to clear the tears that conceal the agony in my eyes. I don't need to look to see who hovers in the doorway because I can sense his warm and protective energy.

My brother was never good at hiding his feelings from me, even while on his meds. He was so easy to read, which is why we were inseparable as kids. I guess you could say we were like twins, being able to feel each other's pain and happiness. I knew when he was sad, happy, angry, lonely, and desperate to find the peace he longed for.

I remember the night he blacked out after one of his episodes. He tried to take his own life after finding his true heart after she died, his reason for living. The vacant look in his eyes was clear as day. He wanted the suffering to stop—the hurting to end.

For one year, I didn't hear from him, and it hurt so bad knowing he was off his meds and wandering the streets alone. But suddenly, he appeared at my side, picking up the pieces that Christian left behind. Even though he was being charged for aggravated assault, he refused to leave my bedside as I recovered in the hospital. But mentally, no one could repair the damage that has already been done. Detective Carter allowed him to stay handcuffed until I woke up from the coma. I guess you could say he had a soft spot for Josiah. It was because Carter lost his brother to suicide. I found out that tidbit later while Carter watched over me during the summer months.

Josiah's face was the first thing I saw the day I opened my eyes after waking up from the coma. My heart broke when I noticed the dark circles underneath his eyes, his sunken face and how thin he looked. The only thing that had a bit of life in them were his eyes. I thanked God for sending an angel to look after him because from what I was told, he was near death and would have died if she came even a few minutes later.

Josiah's hard sigh brings me back to real life. "You need to eat something, Sade."

I don't respond.

"Sade, please," he pleads.

"She's not hungry, Jo," Tia responds for me in a low monotone.

I block them out, staring at the ceiling listening intently to the lyrics of the song that forces more tears as I think of Doni. "

"Everything will be ok, Sade," he whispers. My lips tremble as a quiet sob escapes me.

"It hurts, Tia," I choke out, covering my face with my hands as my shoulders shake intensely, turning to the side of the bed with my back facing Tia.

"I know," she croaks as she wraps her arms around me.

We lay in bed listening to the soft pitter-patter of raindrops against the window. A wave of relaxation swoops into our minds as a feeling of peace eventually takes over, leaving me with a glimpse of Doni's beautiful face smiling at me with reassurance that everything will be ok, but the dark part of my heart knows that nothing will be ok.