Chapter Twenty-Two

“YOU LOOKbetter.”

Dylan looked up from the edge of the pool where he’d been sitting, catching his breath after his first swim in almost three weeks. He finally felt like he was physically back to normal. Emotionally, he was completely off-kilter. The times when he was alone with Ryan, when they could block out the world, he was happier than he’d ever been. The same was true when he was with Leo, and when it was the three of them, he felt whole and complete. His feelings were so big sometimes he thought his heart would burst.

“Thanks, I’m feeling much better.”

Ryan’s sister towered over him in her red-soled heels. Her hair was almost white under the summer sun, and her blue eyes glittered, but not with the same warmth as Ryan’s.

Her lips curled into an unfriendly smile. “Good, then you can go.”

“Ryan’s asked me to stay for the summer.”

“I know, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Dylan carefully got up, his legs slightly shaky from the exertion. He took his time, choosing his words carefully. “Stephanie, I know you still believe what my parents said about me. Have I done anything that proves what they’ve said about me was true since I’ve been here?”

“I think you faked some kind of relapse, probably to get drugs, so yeah, I think you’re exactly what your parents said you were. You see how much money Ryan has and think you can worm your way into his life. Look at you, wearing that disgusting bathing suit, flaunting yourself, acting like you belong here.”

“He does belong here,” Ryan said quietly from the doorway.

Stephanie turned to Ryan. “Ryan, this has gone on long enough. I don’t know why you’re always so gullible, but I’m not going to let Dylan continue to take advantage of you.”

Dylan pulled off his swim cap and goggles. He reached for a towel and started to wrap it around his waist. He stopped, putting it around his neck instead. There was nothing wrong with his Speedos. They were the same kind anyone who was on a rec swim team or a collegiate team wore. Stephanie’s not-so-subtle homophobia disgusted him as much as his choice of swimwear disgusted her.

But it also scared him. Dylan’s gaze darted between Ryan and his sister. He could see the troubled look in his eyes, along with uncertainty. Ryan wasn’t ready to tell her about them yet. Dylan realized he might never be.

He spoke up before Ryan could say anything he might regret or, even worse, something that he wasn’t really ready to say.

“The summer’s almost over. I have a job back in California that I love. I have no intention of staying here.” He paused, noticing Ryan wince slightly at his statement. “If it will make you feel better, I can stay somewhere else and just come to tutor Leo.”

Ryan stiffened, his jaw ticked, and his eyes narrowed at Dylan’s offer.

Stephanie lifted her chin. “If you won’t leave, I think that would be best.”

“That’s not your decision to make.”

There was a hardness in Ryan’s voice Dylan had never heard before. He watched helplessly while Ryan and his sister stared at each other, locked in a battle of wills. He had the feeling this was the first time Ryan hadn’t backed down.

“Ryan, you’ve taken on so much since Lindsay died. I’m only trying to help,” Stephanie said in a placating tone that came across as more patronizing than anything else.

“But you’re not helping. If you wanted to help, you’d be respectful of my decisions.” He held up his hand to stop her when she started to speak again. “Do you think I’m incapable of making decisions for myself?”

“Well, no, but I—”

“That is the last time you will speak to me like I’m a child. Do you understand?”

“Ryan, I….” She pressed her lips together. “I understand,” she finished quietly.

The glint of defiance in her eyes told Dylan that the only thing she understood was that her usual tactics weren’t working.

“Are you here for any other reason than trying to intimidate Dylan?” Ryan asked.

“I wanted to check on Leo and let you know mom and dad are back from their trip and wanted us to meet them for dinner tonight.”

“Leo’s sleeping. As for dinner, I’m assuming it’s the usual time at the club?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll be there. You can go now.”

Dylan drew in a sharp breath at the same time Stephanie did. Ryan was making a point, but was he really prepared to take a stand and face the consequences?

“If you’ll excuse me,” Dylan murmured, walking back into the house, forcing himself not to rush so it wouldn’t look like he was running away.

He didn’t stop until he made it up to his room. After closing the door, he leaned against it, blowing out a shaky breath.

What had he been thinking? There was no way the summer was going to end without someone getting hurt. This wasn’t fair to Ryan, Leo, any of them. Dylan pushed himself from the door, stripped out of his swim trunks, and made his way to the bathroom. He got into the shower, the steam releasing the chlorine smell from his skin. He leaned against the tiled wall, letting the hot water ease his tense muscles, blinking back tears.

He came out of the shower, resolved to set boundaries with Ryan, only to find him sitting on his bed when he exited the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“I’m sorry.” Ryan looked at him with a pained expression, his voice shaking. He held his hand out, and with one word, all of Dylan’s resolve melted. “Please.”

As soon as he was within reach, Ryan grabbed his hand, spread his legs, and pulled him in, wrapping his arms around him as he pressed his cheek to Dylan’s stomach. Dylan could feel the wetness on his skin.

“I’ve never, ever been so angry with her.” He gazed up at Dylan. “I wasn’t very happy with you either. Why would you offer to leave like that?”

“I thought it might make things easier for you.”

“Don’t make sacrifices like that. You have more value than you allow yourself to believe.”

Dylan stroked Ryan’s jaw and kissed him.

“I don’t know if I can go to dinner tonight and pretend like everything is normal. I used to be able to… to hide how I felt, and now it’s like everything is bubbling up,” Ryan said.

Dylan ran his fingers through Ryan’s hair. “I wish I knew what to say, but I don’t. This is your life, Ryan, your family. I know what it’s like to lose your family, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But I can’t tell you what you should do. Only you can decide what’s best for you and for Leo. I’m here to support you, but I never want to do anything that would hurt you or Leo.”

“Do you think I don’t know that? I trust you, Dylan. Right now I trust you more than my sister or my parents to have Leo’s and my best interests at heart.” Ryan stood up and wrapped Dylan in an embrace. He kissed him gently before pulling back, his eyes searching Dylan’s. “I wanted to ask. I’ve been thinking about changing my will. If anything ever happened to me, I think you should be Leo’s guardian. Would that be all right with you?”

Dylan gasped, his lips trembling. “Are you sure?”

“You’re the only thing that feels absolutely right in my life right now. You’ll love and care for Leo the same way I do, unconditionally. You’ll let him be his own person, whatever that looks like.”

“Ryan, I’d be honored to be Leo’s guardian. I love him so much.”

“And he loves his uncle Dylan.” Ryan kissed him again and then pressed his forehead against Dylan’s. “Maybe the three of us can run away.”

Dylan shook his head. “Leo’s life is here. It wouldn’t be fair to him, or Mrs. Lieu or Rebecca, and even though you’re mad at her right now, it’s not fair to your sister. She loves Leo too.”

“She does, but the way she shows it…. I’ve changed, and I need Stephanie to respect that.” Ryan ran his hands up and down Dylan’s arms. “If we can’t run away, what would you think about going away for the weekend, the two of us? I could rent a cabin somewhere, or we could go camping.” He leaned in and nuzzled Dylan’s neck.

“That would be nice,” he said, his voice trembling.

Dylan groaned when Ryan nipped at his ear. He couldn’t say no when Ryan touched him like that, whispering all the things he’d like to do to him when they were alone.

Hearing voices, Dylan twisted out of Ryan’s arms and stepped away, needing to put distance between them so he could think straight.

He dressed quickly, his hands shaking as Ryan tracked his every move, watching him pull on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. He backed up toward the door before Ryan could lure him into his arms again. “I’ll see you later.”

The corner of Ryan’s mouth curled up into a knowing smile.

Dylan shook his finger at him and said, “Behave yourself,” before he turned and left.

He blew out a shaky breath as he headed downstairs. He wasn’t a prude, but he wasn’t the kind of guy who was big on public displays of affection either. Ryan had a way of breaking through the protective walls he built around himself. It was reckless and dangerous. Every time he told himself to slow things down, all Ryan had to do was give him that half smile or look at him with a heated gaze and his resolve would melt away. Ryan said he came alive when he met Dylan, but he’d changed something in Dylan too. Dreams he’d never allowed himself to have before seemed within reach. He and Ryan and Leo, the three of them, could become a family. Maybe they could welcome another child through a surrogate or adoption. He’d never even thought about having a family. When he thought about it, he’d never really believed he’d even settle down with someone until now. Those were dangerous thoughts. Hope could be a wonderful thing, or it could be crushed in an instant.