Chapter Twenty-Three

WHY WEREcountry clubs still a thing? Ryan sat across from his parents in the large dining room with a view of a perfectly maintained golf course with a glimpse of Puget Sound beyond. Ryan thought country clubs were antiquated relics, but his parents still valued the social hierarchy they symbolized.

He’d taken part in this ritual his entire life, but this time he felt too tight in his skin.

“Sorry I’m late.” His sister arrived at the table with a tall woman with glossy chestnut-brown hair and intense brown eyes. Her full lips didn’t fit on her sharp, pale, angular face.

“Oh, Courtney.” His mother beamed at the woman. “How nice that you could join us.”

His dad jumped up and pulled out a chair next to Ryan for her while his sister sat down on the other side. If he hadn’t been so caught up in his musings, he would have clued into the fifth place setting at the round table.

“Ryan, you remember Courtney, Senator Graham’s daughter. You met a few years ago at a fundraising gala here at the club,” his mother said.

He didn’t remember Courtney, but he knew Senator Graham and his conservative leanings.

He played polite and shook her hand. The four of them launched into a conversation like old friends. He wanted to be back home, sitting around the table with Leo, Dylan, and Mrs. Lieu. His parents, Stephanie, and Courtney were talking about people he didn’t know or didn’t care about until his father said, “Ryan, Courtney’s father is becoming the ranking member of the Senate Banking Committee,” with a pointed look.

Ryan took a sip of his whiskey before he turned to Courtney and said, “Congratulations to your father.”

Courtney leaned toward him with a pout. “It must be so hard being a single father.”

“Ryan’s been wonderful, so strong and caring for little Leo,” Stephanie chimed in.

“You know, I’d love to meet him,” Courtney said.

Ryan shook his head. “I’m sorry, but his immune system is still recovering. I’m sure you can understand that I can’t allow anyone to visit on a whim.”

Courtney’s sympathetic pout disappeared, replaced with a confused glance in Stephanie’s direction. “Oh, I thought you were looking for—”

“No, I’m not.”

“What Ryan means is—” his mother started.

“Ryan is perfectly capable of speaking for himself,” he interrupted. He turned to Courtney. “I’m sorry if they gave you the impression that I am interested in finding another mother for Leo or a wife for myself.” He pushed his chair back and stood. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to my son.”

He made it as far as the lobby before his father grabbed his arm.

“Damn it, Ryan, what the hell is wrong with you? Senator Graham is on the banking committee,” he said between clenched teeth.

“So what does that mean—his daughter is for sale to the highest bidder? As long as I’m the head of Blackstone Financial, we will run the company ethically.”

“And everyone else gets ahead? When are you ever going to learn to play ball? This is how things get done. The board is tiring of your refusal to put the best interests of the company first. We let you take time off to take care of Leo, but he’s fine now. Blackstone Financial can dominate the industry if you’d—”

“Is that all that matters to you? Nice of you and mom to ask about Leo, by the way.”

“We’d just sat down. We didn’t get a chance before your sister and Courtney arrived,” his father sputtered.

“And yet you told me all about your trip.”

He pressed his mouth into a thin line. At least he had the decency to look a little embarrassed.

“When will it be enough? We have more money than we’ll ever need in this lifetime, or ten lifetimes. What do you need more power for? What will it get you? I’d rather leave this world knowing I was a good father and husb—” His voice broke. “—husband than being wealthy and powerful. If you and the board want to run Blackstone Financial with someone else at the helm, go ahead. But remember, I own all the tech.” He pressed his fist to his chest. “Me.”

“What’s happened to you? You were always reasonable, easy to manage.” Ryan sucked in his breath. His father stepped back. “Ryan, that’s not what I meant.”

“But it’s what you said.”

“Stephanie told us about the influence that boy has been having on you. Clearly that’s what’s caused this change in you.”

Ryan’s jaw ticked. “Dylan has nothing to do with this. I’m tired of trying to make everyone happy and ending up miserable. I’m not going to marry Courtney or anyone else you pick out for me. I did it once, and the only good thing that came out of it was Leo. I’m not doing it again. You can’t manage or manipulate me to get what you want anymore. I will no longer go along with whatever you want because it’s easier than standing up for myself, and you’re going to have to get used to that. I’m done here. When you decide you want to have a real family dinner, you can come to the house and eat at the kitchen table with Leo and me.”

Ryan left his father in the lobby with an angry frown on his face and didn’t look back. He got into his car. Hands shaking, he gripped the steering wheel and took a few deep breaths. He made a call before pulling out of the parking lot, and instead of heading home, ended up at a small bar on the other side of the bridge.

Jason Anderson walked in a few minutes later and slid into a seat next to him at the bar. He tipped his chin and held up two fingers to the bartender, who answered with a nod.

“Thanks for coming. I figured you’d be on the road playing some sold-out arena somewhere.”

“Next week. How’s Leo? Is Dylan okay?”

“You know my parents didn’t even ask about Leo tonight,” he said with a half laugh.

The bartender came over with two beers. “You waiting to pick up Joy from the hospital?”

“Naw, just hanging with a friend. Ryan, this is Kip. He owns the Wedgwood Alehouse.”

Kip shook his hand and said to let him know if they needed anything else.

“This place is popular with a lot of the staff at Children’s Hospital. It’s special to Joy and me. This is where I asked her to marry me.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “In a bar?”

“It was a Christmas party. Trust me, it was perfect. But we’re not here to talk about me. What’s going on?”

Ryan told Jason what had happened at dinner. “I can’t go back to the way things were. Dylan does this thing where he looks at me like I’m….” He sighed with a smile. “When he looks at me like that, it makes me feel like I’m the hero of the movie. It scares me too, because I want to live up to that.”

Jason nodded. “When Joy gives me that look, I’d move heaven and earth to make her happy.”

“Were you afraid you’d screw it up?”

“Terrified. And I did. We both did.” He laughed softly. “And we’ll probably do it again. It’s what happens after you mess up that matters. If you try to be perfect for Dylan, I guarantee you’ll screw it up. From what you told me about dinner, it sounds like you’re going to have an uphill battle with your parents. We were lucky. Joy and I didn’t have any issues with our families. That’s not the case for a lot of people. Neither one of Joy’s dads had an easy time with their families when they came out, and getting married didn’t improve the dynamic. If anything, it got worse.” Jason smiled, shaking his head with a sigh. “I love those guys, their patience and tenacity. They always lead with love.”

“I’m in love with him,” Ryan breathed.

“Joy and I kind of figured that when we spent time with the two of you. You’re, I don’t know… lighter with Dylan than you were with Lindsay.”

“I am. Being with Dylan is easy.”

“It’s the rest of the stuff,” Jason said.

“Yeah, the rest of the stuff.”

“What are you going to do? What I mean is, what are you willing to do?”

“That’s what I need to figure out. I don’t want to let Dylan go, but I also know he has a life in LA. I can’t ask him to move here and live in the house I shared with Lindsay.”

“Ryan, you hate that house. Why don’t you sell it?”

“That’s the first thing I’m going to do.”

Jason’s mouth curled into a sly smile. “So now would be a good time to mention we have neighbors who might be moving? It’s a nice house with a guesthouse that would be perfect for Mrs. Lieu. You’d still be on the water, just on the other side of the lake. And, you’d have awesome neighbors.”

Ryan sat up straighter. “When can I see it?”

Jason laughed. “Hold on there, cowboy. I said might be moving. Let me do some recon and see what I can find out.”

“It doesn’t matter how much it costs, I’ll—”

Jason put his hand on his arm. “Slow down. These are big decisions. You’re about to make changes that will upend your entire life. Take it one step at a time. Joy and I are here to help if you need us.”

THE NEXT day, Ryan was back at the corporate offices for the first time in weeks. He felt out of place sitting at the glass-and-chrome desk looking at the distant Seattle skyline through the window. In the past he’d come to work and immediately became engrossed with spreadsheets and analytics. Now he sat with his gaze unfocused and his mind on Leo and Dylan and the life he wanted to have with them.

Stephanie breezed into his office and ended his fantasies, announcing she’d invited his in-laws for a visit. Suddenly his dreams were shattered by the reality of his situation with Dylan.

“Did it occur to you that you should have asked me first?” he asked.

“It’s Lindsay’s parents. Leo’s grandparents. Why should I have to ask?”

“Because you’ve created an uncomfortable situation for Dylan. Did it even occur to you he hasn’t seen his parents since they kicked him out?”

Stephanie shrugged. “That’s really not my problem. Leo’s getting better now, and they wanted to see him.”

“And you decided that was your decision to make?”

“I was only thinking about what would be best for Leo.”

That wasn’t what his sister was thinking at all. This was about Dylan. Did she suspect what was happening between them? Should he tell her?

“Also, I’ve asked HR to send a memo to your assistant.”

“Lisa? What for?”

“Blue hair is not the best first impression, don’t you think?”

Ryan glared at his sister while he picked up the phone and called the head of HR. “I understand my sister has asked you to draft a memo to Lisa Blanchard. Cancel it.” He hung up the phone and sat forward with his hands clasped tightly on his desk. “Let me ask you a question. Who is the head of Blackstone Financial Technologies?”

“Ryan, I—”

“I’m waiting,” he said quietly, continuing to pin her with an angry glare.

“Obviously you are.”

The note of dismissal in her tone only added fuel to his growing anger. “Sit down,” he ordered.

She hesitated for a moment before taking the chair across from his desk, crossing her legs and arms.

“I let you take the lead here while I dealt with Lindsay’s death and took care of Leo. But now you’ve overstepped. Don’t do it again.”

She glared at him for a moment before saying, “Noted,” in a clipped tone.

He called his assistant in after his sister left.

“Lisa, I want to apologize if my sister made any inappropriate comments about your appearance.”

She grimaced, fingering the blue streak in her pale blond short bob. “Thanks. I should have known better than to push the norm.”

Ryan shook his head. “From now on, unless it’s a request from me, you are free to ignore it.”

Lisa eyed him skeptically. “Sure, okay.”

“I mean it. Even if it’s from my sister.”

His assistant still looked uncomfortable. “Is there something else?” he asked.

“I wasn’t sure if I should say anything, but when your sister called me into her office to talk about my hair I-I noticed something on her computer. I wasn’t snooping—it was on her screen. She turned it off as soon as she saw me looking. It was a second, so quick I could be mistaken….”

“But you don’t think you were, do you?”

Lisa slowly shook her head. “It was a sales agreement with ARW Group.”

Ryan’s jaw ticked. ARW was an investment corporation who’d tried to do business with Blackstone before. His parents and sister didn’t find their questionable ethics as bothersome as Ryan did. He’d made it clear Blackstone wouldn’t be doing business with them.

“Will you do me a favor and look into it? Quietly?”

“I’ll keep my eyes open.”

“Thanks, Lisa.”

Ryan replayed their conversation after Lisa went back to her office. He needed to open his eyes. For too long he had chosen the easiest path without considering the consequences. Every time his sister reassured him that everything was in hand with his company, he’d taken her word for it without taking the time to look for himself.

It had been easier to follow along and let Stephanie take the lead with the company, just as it had been easier to pretend that everything was okay with Lindsay than face the fissures in his marriage.

Until that moment, he never really understood how much he’d taken for granted. True, he’d worked hard in college, and he’d worked hard to start his company, but he’d lived his life never having to really struggle. Even with Leo’s cancer—yes, it was hard, but he’d been able to use his wealth and resources so that he didn’t have to struggle the way other families did. He saw campers and RVs with license plates from the Pacific Northwest and even as far as Montana, Wyoming, and the Dakotas in the hospital parking lot. He’d never had to think about where he’d sleep or eat, or if he’d have a job to go back to after his child received lifesaving treatment.

“It’s time to wake up, Ryan,” he whispered to himself. He was ready to take on whatever struggles lay ahead. The opportunity to build a life with Dylan was worth it.