Chapter Fourteen

“HE’S BEENtired today,” Dylan whispered to Rebecca.

“That’s to be expected,” she said with an understanding nod.

“He fell asleep halfway through our lessons.”

“Not to worry. I’m here, so you go ahead and take a break.” She eyed him with a frown. “You have circles under your eyes. Are you feeling okay?”

Dylan ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”

He’d lain awake after sitting with Ryan next to the fire and agreeing to stay for the summer. He couldn’t bring himself to say no. Not when Ryan had his arm around him, smelling like sandalwood and the summer evening air. There was a moment between them when he thought Ryan might kiss him. His heart started hammering again as he replayed it in his mind.

“When is your next doctor’s appointment?” Rebecca asked, looking at him with a critical eye.

“I don’t have anything scheduled. They told me I don’t have to come back unless I’m having any problems.”

She frowned. “You’re still at risk for infection, Dylan. You need to take care of yourself. Get some rest, okay?”

“Yeah, I will.”

Rebecca patted his arm. “I’m serious, Dylan. Take care of yourself. I was happy to hear from Ryan that you’ll be staying for the summer. Leo loves having you here, and I know Ryan feels the same way.”

“I will.”

He appreciated Rebecca’s concern, even if it wasn’t necessary. He liked Leo’s nanny. Dylan thought of her as a friend almost as soon as they met. Rebecca was a few years older and had been working as a traveling nurse until this job came up. Apparently, Ryan’s sister offered her a ridiculous amount of money to work for Ryan. Rebecca also suspected that Stephanie had selected her as the new Mrs. Blackstone. Since Rebecca wasn’t remotely attracted to Ryan and had been seeing someone since she came to Seattle, she found it all completely ridiculous.

Dylan said goodbye and headed downstairs, hoping a bowl of Mrs. Lieu’s pho would alleviate the dull headache that he’d been fighting the last couple of days.

He asked me to stay.

Until that moment, Dylan hadn’t realized just how much he didn’t want to leave. Leo wasn’t the only one he was reluctant to leave behind. Over the last couple of weeks since he arrived, he’d realized his first impression of Ryan was completely wrong. The idea of having more time to spend with him sent a nervous shiver through Dylan and made him anxious to seek Ryan out to see those deep blue eyes and his smile.

Dylan stopped outside the kitchen, hearing Ryan’s voice filled with frustration and an undercurrent of anger. His breath hitched at the disdain in Ryan’s sister’s voice. It wasn’t his intention to eavesdrop as he stood frozen, listening to the two of them argue.

“All I’m saying is you should be careful, and I think you could find someone better to tutor Leo.”

“Who would be better than his uncle, who also happens to be a teacher?” Ryan said.

“Lindsay’s parents said he was a difficult child who—”

Ryan cut her off. “How many times do I have to tell you they lied?”

Dylan took minor consolation from the anger in Ryan’s voice. But his anger didn’t lessen the sting of Dylan’s parents’ lies about him.

“Even if what the McKenzies said isn’t true, what about his lifestyle? Do you really think having a man like that around Leo is a good idea?”

“What are you talking about? He’s a schoolteacher who lives in LA. What about his lifestyle would be inappropriate?”

“He’s a gay man living in LA, Ryan,” Stephanie said as if she were explaining the obvious to a child. “Do you really want a person like that to have an influence on your child?”

Her insinuation made Dylan physically ill. He clutched his stomach, blinking back a wave of tears.

Ryan’s voice trailed off as Dylan was abruptly pulled away by a small hand gripping his elbow.

He looked down as Mrs. Lieu pressed a finger to her lips and pushed him toward a long hallway leading to another wing of the house. As they walked, Mrs. Lieu’s hand moved from his elbow to his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze as she said in a hushed voice, “Not to worry. I’ll make tea.”

“Tea and sympathy,” Dylan said under his breath.

“I’ve always loved Deborah Kerr.”

They’d reached a doorway at the end of the hall. Mrs. Lieu opened the door and pulled him into an open-floor-plan kitchen and living room with a large window looking out on the lake. Instead of the stark white of the rest of the house, the walls were painted a soft light tan. Fuchsia-and-marigold-yellow pillows adorned a chocolate-brown velvet sofa, matching the colors of an overstuffed floral chair. Warm-toned wood cabinets and stone countertops with veins of gold and brown anchored the kitchen and added to the cozy feel of the space.

Mrs. Lieu pushed him down onto one of the leather stools at the kitchen island and put the kettle on.

“I have some lovely green tea with blackberry. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

Dylan nodded. “Thank you, but you don’t have to do this.”

She paused, her dark brown eyes studying him for a moment. “But I think I do.”

Dylan rested his chin on the palm of his hand and watched Mrs. Lieu bustle about putting sugar cookies on a small plate.

“I love old movies, don’t you? They don’t make them like that anymore. What’s your favorite?” she asked, sliding the plate in front of him.

Dylan took a cookie and bit into the flaky, buttery dough with a hint of lemon, thinking as he chewed.

“Now, Voyager.”

“Ah, that’s a good one. It seems like people either love or hate Bette Davis. Personally, I love her. Why do you like Now, Voyager?”

She set a cup of tea next to the plate of cookies. Green notes mixed with blackberry wafted toward him, smelling like summer in a cup.

“I like how her character learns to stand on her own and be her own person. There’s this line her character says. I used to repeat it to myself when I’d get overwhelmed or discouraged when I first left home. ‘It’s not difficult, it’s just in the doing.’”

Mrs. Lieu sat next to him, watching him over the rim of her cup as she took a sip. She swallowed and looked at him thoughtfully. “You had to deal with a lot at a young age.” She sighed. “The Blackstones are… hard people. Like Charlotte Vale in the movie, you didn’t fit in with your family, and Ryan doesn’t fit in with his.”

“I would never hurt Leo.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Mrs. Lieu put her hand over his. “I know that, and so does Ryan.”

“But his sister and his parents believe the lie my parents told.”

“Maybe they’re searching for any excuse not to face their own deficiencies.”

“So they get to destroy my reputation to save their own?”

Mrs. Lieu shook her head and took another sip of her tea. “Desperate people will do desperate things to keep a lie alive.”

There was a knock on the door, and Ryan poked his head in. “Mrs. Lieu, I was looking for—oh, there you are.”

Dylan stood up and wrapped his arm around his middle, trying to quell the nervousness that suddenly swept over him. Had Stephanie convinced her brother and Ryan was here to tell him to leave?

“It turns out our Dylan and I share a love of old movies. We’ve been talking about Bette Davis,” Mrs. Lieu offered.

“What did you need?” Dylan asked.

“Oh, I, uh… I just wanted to know where you were.”

Ryan hovered in the doorway, looking unsure of what he wanted to do.

“I should go. Thank you for the tea and sympathy,” Dylan said, giving Mrs. Lieu a quick kiss on the cheek before making his way toward the door. He brushed past Ryan, mumbling, “Excuse me.”

Ryan fell in step beside him. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said.

“Did I say or do something? You seem upset.”

Dylan stopped when he reached the end of the hall, glancing toward the kitchen. “Is your sister still here?”

Ryan’s face fell. “You heard, didn’t you?”

“I wasn’t—I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. Look, if you think I would ever hurt Leo or do anything inappropriate around him….”

Ryan reached for his arm. “I know you would never do anything to hurt Leo. The things Stephanie said were… misguided.”

“They were lies. Nobody wants me here, Ryan. I’m only good for my cells, and you’ve got those, and now I’m nothing again.” He shook his head with a sardonic laugh. “I’m the Henrietta Lacks of the Blackstone family.”

Dylan jerked back when Ryan reached for his hand. “Your cells aren’t the only reason I want you here. You’re more than that to me and to Leo. You should know that by now. I—”

“Don’t.” Dylan put his hand up. “Don’t make excuses. Your family doesn’t like me, and I doubt they ever will. And—” He winced at the way his voice broke. “—over time they’ll wear you down and convince you too.”

“No, that’s not true.”

Dylan eyed him skeptically. He’d already seen Ryan give in rather than argue his point. Now he stood in front of him, gazing at Dylan as if he really cared. It was too much. He needed to get away from this empty house full of broken people and this man who stirred feelings in him. Feelings that he shouldn’t have for his brother-in-law.

“I need to go.”

Ryan grabbed his wrist. “Don’t go. Don’t leave us.”

“I’m not leaving. I need a break, that’s all.”

Instead of letting go, Ryan’s grip tightened as he moved closer. “Dylan, I need—we need you.”

“Ryan.” The name came out as a whisper.

“Dylan.” Ryan moved his hand to hold his. “Stay with us.”

Three words and his heart tumbled.

Dylan looked down at where their hands were joined. “What are you doing?”

Ryan’s gaze followed. “I don’t know.”

Dylan shivered and closed his eyes, trying to calm his racing heart.

“Dylan, Dylan, are you okay?”

Ryan’s voice echoed from far away as suddenly Dylan felt like he’d been plunged into a warm pool of blackness.

It was a perfect sunny day on a clear blue lake. Peering over the side of the kayak, he saw water that was fathomless, growing darker and darker without end.

“If we begin, we’ll keep going down, never ending.” Ryan’s voice echoed through the water. “But we’ll be together.” His voice drifted further away. Ryan’s face appeared beneath the surface of the water, and his hands stretched out for Dylan, but he kept drifting deeper into the dark. Dylan pushed himself over the side of the boat, sinking into the depths, reaching for Ryan’s hands. When he caught him, Ryan smiled and pulled them farther down, but as they sank into the depths, Ryan’s expression became blank. When the blue morphed into an inky black, Ryan let go. Dylan strained, reaching for him, but he started floating upward, shaking his head sadly.

“Dylan. Don’t cry, I’m here.” Ryan’s voice echoed from a distance.

A hand reached down, pulled him out of the midnight blue depths and into Ryan’s arms.