Chapter 12

Danny changed his phone number. It didn't ring in the days that followed with Clint's incoming calls, because of course it wouldn't, because his number was different and Clint didn't have it, but he still found himself checking it too often, sure he had missed some sort of message.

He didn't want to hear from Clint, wished that he never had to deal with the man again, but he still checked his messages on reflex, jumping every time his phone made a sound. The habit ingrained within him.

He was grateful that he had taken all the extra shifts at Grand Azteca over his spring break. They gave him something to do with his time that wasn't just stewing and worrying, but he still found himself unsure of what to do during the hours he wasn't working. He was taking up room in Haru's home, but he also didn't want to feel like he was a stranger. He wanted to feel like he fit in the space. Like he wasn't someone putting Haru out, for giving him a place to sleep.

He read more, listening to audiobooks Jacob recommended as he walked around the neighborhood and got used to it. He cleaned what he could in the apartment, straightening up the living room and sweeping the floors. While Haru kept his home tidy, Danny wanted to help make it nice.

Despite the distractions, the uncertainty of all the change still caught up to him. Haru found him one evening after arriving home earlier than Danny expected, on his knees in the bathroom, furiously scrubbing at the tile as tears dripped down his cheeks.

Danny didn't want to talk about it. Didn't want to have to vocalize how tired and frustrated and scared he was about what might happen tomorrow, in a week, in a month.

Haru hadn't asked though. All he had done was thank Danny for cleaning the bathroom and opened his arms, an offering. Danny had fallen against Haru's chest and Haru had just held him for a while, until the tears had stopped.

So Danny found more things to do. In the following weeks he googled recipes and talked to Manuel and then bought groceries with some of his tip money, making Haru dinners to come home to. Haru's smile was always a mix of pleased and surprised and grateful.

He thanked Danny in ways that felt too heartfelt to be real. Haru had given Danny everything , including the luxury of free time, and Danny didn't feel like he was doing enough. Could anything be enough?

Every so often Danny got out his sketchbook and colored pencils and doodled here and there. He tried some figure drawing and some sketches. He made more comics about The Adventures of Captain Haruto Nakamura, Explorer of Deep Space. He still hadn't shown them to Haru yet, but the comic had gained a plot. The Captain was currently in the middle of a rescue mission. Kirah was an alien, an outcast, and everyone else had given up on him because he ‘wasn't worth saving,' but The Captain refused to give up.

Everyone told The Captain that it'd be hard, a thankless job to save Kirah, but The Captain was determined to succeed. He liked Kirah, and he couldn't just stand by and watch someone struggle.

Danny hoped that one day he'd be brave enough to show Haru the comic. He thought Haru might like it.

***

"Hey, Haru?" Danny asked tentatively, creeping into the dining room. Haru had spent the last week working on a big case and had spread out all over the table. Danny hadn't wanted to interrupt him, but it was getting late and he'd been sitting on his news all day and if he didn't tell someone right now he might just burst from holding it inside. "Can I talk to you?"

Haru looked up at him from where he was bent over pages of paper print outs and smiled. He looked tired though, and Danny immediately felt bad about bothering him. "Of course. What's up?"

"It can wait if you're still busy," Danny hurried to say, clutching his phone in his hand.

"I'm never too busy for you," Haru said, so easily that Danny wanted to melt. "C'mere. Or do you want to move to the living room? Get more comfortable?" He started to get up.

"It's okay," Danny said. "It's not um, anything big. I-I just wanted to, um, tell someone. My news."

"Good news?" Haru asked, standing up anyway.

Danny's cheeks heated and he looked at the floor, fingers tightening around his phone. He'd played the email out loud three times just to make sure it was real. "Yeah, um. Yeah, good news."

Haru brightened and he stopped just in front of Danny. "Well hey," he said gently, picking up on Danny's nerves. "I'm all for hearing your good news."

Danny took a breath. He could do this. He wanted to. He wanted to tell Haru.

Haru would know some of why it mattered so much.

"I…" Danny glanced up at Haru's earnest, open expression and made himself keep talking. "I went and got tested a couple of days. I-I figured that now that I'm not… with him anymore I, you know, I um, I got to…care. About that."

Haru touched Danny's free hand, curling their fingers together. His voice was quiet when he said, "You said good news?"

"Yeah," Danny said. He licked his lips. "All negative. So there's nothing–nothing left of him on me. I don't–" I don't have to worry anymore.

"I'd say that's great news, not just good," Haru said, giving Danny's hand a squeeze. "And I'm proud of you for going. Stuff like that can be really hard."

"Thanks," Danny whispered. "I'm… I'm proud of me too."

***

Two weeks after spring break was over, Danny packed up his stuff after his astronomy lab, opened the door to leave the classroom, and turned right back around to bolt back inside, heart pounding. He got a couple of looks from his classmates, but Danny was too busy getting as far away from the door as possible to care.

He hadn't heard a peep from Clint in nearly a month. Danny had almost stopped flinching every time his phone went off. He'd become lax and lazy and so, so stupid to not keep looking over his shoulder. Clint knew Danny's class schedule, so really it was only a matter of time before he would send someone to come looking.

He supposed he should consider himself lucky that it was Ernie out there, and not Clint himself. Either way, Danny didn't know what to do. Panic was overtaking him. Ernie couldn't just drag Danny to a waiting car, and Danny wasn't about to go quietly.

But just the thought of Clint trying to get him was enough to make it hard to breathe.

"Mr. Edwards, is there a problem?"

Danny's eyes snapped to Crystal, standing a few feet in front of him. She had been a lot less frosty toward him since Danny had aced the midterm. A part of Danny wondered if she'd thought that he was using his dyslexia as an excuse for easier work. He didn't care–refused to care–but it was nice that she wasn't, like, openly hostile anymore.

Now she actually looked kind of concerned. He must really look like shit.

"I–" Danny bit down on the I'm fine. He wasn't, he really wasn't, and while what he really wanted to do was just hope that Ernie would magically go away so Danny could go back to Haru's, the latter couldn't happen without the former, and he could absolutely see Ernie waiting around until the lights clicked off, growling under his breath the whole time.

Danny needed someone in his corner and Crystal was the only one here. She was a good TA, all things considered. Fair. Made sure that it wasn't the same three loudest people getting their questions answered.

His brain scrambled for the fastest explanation that kept the spilling of too many messy secrets and feelings to a minimum. "My ex's—" he stumbled to say it "—he's waiting outside. I don't—I can't—"

Crystal's eyes sharpened. "Danny, are you in danger?"

Danny bit his lip, unable to meet her eyes.

"Alright," Crystal said evenly, pulling out her phone. "I'm calling campus security. What does he look like?"

Danny looked at her for a moment too long before he rattled out an approximate description, which Crystal repeated to the person on the phone. She smiled at him after she hung up, even though it was tight. Kind of like she was trying to comfort him but knew she wasn't the best person for the job. "Campus security will escort him off the premises and then someone will be returning to escort you to your car."

"That's okay," Danny said quickly. He had already caused enough trouble. "I bus home anyway."

"Is there someone you could call to pick you up?" Crystal asked carefully.

Haru came to mind immediately. But it was ten o'clock on a Wednesday night, and Danny had already spent the last several weeks convincing Haru that he didn't need to go out of his way to pick Danny up from class. Haru worked hard and often got home late as it was. He didn't need to worry about going out again. Danny shook his head.

Crystal's lips pursed. "I am offering you a ride home," she said, and her expression added that while Danny could say no, she strongly advised against it.

"I'm staying in Park Heights," Danny said instead of arguing. Park Heights was twenty minutes from Campus.

"What a coincidence," Crystal said. "I'm going in exactly that direction."

***

Crystal gave Danny her number before she dropped him off, as well as the number to campus security. Danny punched them both into his phone, feeling awkward but oddly grateful. He thanked her again and got out. Early into April meant that there was a little bit of breeze in the air, but it was still comfortable even with how late it was. Peaceful.

He unlocked Haru's front door and took off his shoes once inside. He headed to the couch to decompress for a minute, slinging his backpack off his shoulder and onto the floor, sighing as he flopped down.

"Danny," Haru's voice came a moment later, sounding pleased but confused. "You're home early."

Oh. Yeah, if Danny had taken the bus, he still would have been at least fifteen minutes out. The wonders of having your own car. He hummed, eyes closed, and felt the couch dip. Then Haru's warm hands started carding through his hair. It was so nice. Haru had been touching him more lately. Carefully, as if worried Danny might spook, but Danny welcomed every offering. Haru's hands on him made something pleasant fizzle down Danny's spine.

Sometimes he'd glance up and just catch Haru watching him, with the softest expression on his face. As if Haru was the one who couldn't believe Danny was real.

They still hadn't kissed yet, but Danny was pretty sure they both wanted to. He got the feeling that Haru was waiting for him to be ready. Danny wasn't exactly sure what he was waiting for, but he appreciated the consideration. He didn't want to feel like kissing Haru was taking something else from him.

"You didn't have to wait up for me," Danny mumbled after a minute. The adrenaline was fading, leaving him exhausted in its wake. He could drift off like this, safe and warm with Haru's fingers gentle on his scalp.

"I wanted to," Haru said, like all other times he had said it. And then, softly, "Is everything okay?"

Danny kept his eyes shut and exhaled. "He showed up at my class."

Haru's fingered still. "What?" His voice had turned steely.

"Nothing happened," Danny said, reminding himself of that, just as he was assuring Haru. "And I—it wasn't even him. He sent his driver. But I don't think he saw me. I told the TA and she called campus security. Then she, uh, gave me a ride home. That's why I'm early."

"I'm glad she was able to help you," Haru said. He didn't say, I'm glad you were able to ask for help, but Danny heard it anyway. He was trying to get better at it. It was a process.

Danny sighed, opening his eyes to look up at Haru. "It was nice to be able to come back here, after," he said. Being honest was also a process. "Being able to see you."

Haru sucked in a breath. "Danny." It was all he said. Just Danny's name, but it sounded like so much more. It sounded like Danny was important. That he meant something.

That he meant something to Haru.

Maybe Danny didn't need to wait anymore. Maybe trying to move forward with Haru wasn't taking something from him at all. Maybe it was giving Haru something instead. Something Danny wanted to give, just because he wanted to.

No expectations. No exchange of goods and services.

Danny sat up, still feeling the drag of exhaustion in his limbs, and moved to lean against Haru so that they were shoulder to shoulder. Haru shifted just so, to let Danny rest his head on Haru's chest. Danny curled into him easily, breathing out, and Haru stroked a hand down his back. Haru was always so warm.

His heartbeat was a little quicker than it probably should be.

"Would you want to kiss me?" Danny asked quietly, breaking the silence that had settled, comfortable, like a friend. "If I wanted to kiss you?"

Haru's heart thudded a little louder under his ear. "Yes." He didn't hesitate. Didn't ask why Danny was asking either. It was just open admission. "I would. I do."

Danny licked his lips and tilted his head up. "Would you… hold me after?"

"Sweetheart," Haru whispered, and Danny warmed at the name. "I'd hold you whenever you wanted."

Danny angled a little better and closed the distance.

Haru kissed him the same way he said Danny's name. Like Danny was precious and important. Danny used to like a little rougher affection, but he didn't know if he was ready for that again yet. He liked that Haru treated him gently, how the sweetness sent zings of pleasure fizzing down his spine.

He made a little noise into Haru's mouth and Haru responded by pulling him closer, his big, warm hands pressing into Danny's back. Holding him, but not gripping too tight. Danny wasn't trapped there. He could stop whenever he wanted and get space whenever he wanted. This wasn't something desperate and wrung out and filled with shame.

Haru pulled back first, panting just a little, and he rested his forehead against Danny's. On complete impulse, Danny kissed Haru's nose, then immediately flushed an embarrassed red.

Haru blinked at him, wide-eyed, before his expression settled into one of quiet delight. He nuzzled at Danny's cheek and Danny's breath hitched as Haru pressed feather-light kisses underneath his ear and along the side of his jaw.

Then Haru's hand cupped Danny's chin, and he pressed one last kiss to Danny's mouth. "Not that I want to stop, " he murmured. "But it's late. And you've got an early class tomorrow."

"Yeah," Danny sighed out, knowing Haru was right. Besides, not only did Danny have to get up early, but Haru did too.

Haru looked at him, gaze heavy, eyes dark, and kissed Danny again, like he couldn't help it. Like he cared for Danny that much. "Let me hold you while we sleep?"

Danny swallowed. "Please."