Chapter 13
Danny finished The Adventures of Captain Haruto Nakamura, Explorer of Deep Space three days after he finished semester finals, because Luis refused to schedule Danny for double-shifts at Grand Azteca. Danny had tried to insist that he wasn't going to do much else with his time, at which point Antonio had tattled on him about having just finished finals, because "all work and no play made Danito a stick in the mud."
Danny was able to talk Luis into a few extra shifts, but it hadn't come close to filling all his newfound free time. Luckily, Danny found it easier this time around. He had people to hang out with and interests to pursue.
One of those involved sitting down with his colored pencils again. It helped that Haru was at work, because Danny could draw out in the open.
By the time the comic was done, it wasn't so little anymore. Danny had been working on it on and off for almost five months, and it had gotten a full plotline, conveyed as best as he could with the picture speech/thought bubbles. He had put a lot of effort into making a really nice cover, and even went back and redrew some of the original pages, so that there was a more uniform look from the beginning to the end as he'd gotten better at drawing.
He swore Lily to secrecy, then drafted her into helping him with figuring out how to make it nice. Partially because he could count on Lily to know what to do or to figure out how to do it, partially because she had resources, and partially because his in-person time with Lily was dwindling—she'd be leaving in August to go to MIT.
Lily had been loud about the fact that she refused to let that get in the way of spending time with her local friends, and continually reminded Danny that her family lived here so she'd be back all the time. Danny wasn't going to hold his breath, but was also trying to not be obvious with his doubt. He liked Lily. He really did hope she'd stay in touch. In the meantime, he was going to try to spend time with her over the summer.
Lily read the entire comic while Danny sweated and tried to distract himself by playing with his phone. When she was done, she looked at him and adjusted her glasses. "Doesn't Manuel have an aunt or something that works in publishing?"
Danny squinted at her. Lily and Manuel had hit it off during the packing-up of Danny's apartment, and had become fast friends. He didn't know why she was bringing up his aunt though. "I think so? Or she was a family friend? Why?"
"Well she'd probably be able to help you better than I can," Lily said. "Unless you want me to go ask Jacob—"
"No Jacob," Danny said quickly. Jacob, he had learned, was terrible at keeping secrets and had no poker face whatsoever. He'd spill to Haru in thirty seconds flat.
"Didn't think so," Lily said, looking smug. For some reason. "So let's ask Manuel."
"But why?" Danny asked again. "I thought you could just, I don't know, help me find a place to bind it nicely."
Lily crossed her arms and tilted her chin, radiating stubbornness.
"Fine," Danny huffed. "We can ask Manuel. But I don't see why."
***
Manuel read the comic with clear excitement, and his face went through a myriad of complicated expressions as he did so while Danny got more and more self-conscious. He was near the point of snatching the pages back and calling the whole thing off when Lily, who had been rereading the comic next to Manuel, squished into his side, said, "See?"
"Yeah," Manuel said, nodding as he turned another page. "Yeah, wow."
"What?" Danny bit out. "Look, it was just some stupid scribbles, you don't have to—"
Lily glared at him. "Don't call them stupid!"
"Excuse me?" Danny asked.
"You heard me," Lily sniffed.
Danny looked to Manuel for help, who scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Okay so, uh, could I maybe like, take a couple pictures to send to Dorit?"
"Why?" Danny asked incredulously.
Manuel flapped a hand. "I just think it'd be a good idea for her to see them."
Danny sighed as Lily and Manuel pinned him with twin pleading looks. "Fine. But someone tell me why."
Manuel patted Danny on the back. "Because this is good stuff," he said. "I just wanna see what she says."
***
As it turned out, Manuel's not!Aunt Dorit worked for Scholastic. She was apparently impressed enough by the concept of Danny's comic to ask for more pages. She liked the fact that it wasn't a words-based comic, so readers of all ages and backgrounds and languages could appreciate it.
She wanted Danny's permission to pitch the comic for publication.
Danny said thank you very carefully, told her that he was okay with that, sure, he appreciated her time, and hung up the phone.
He wasn't sure if he was excited or about to be sick.
He still hadn't decided which reaction made the most sense by the time Haru got home from work. Danny had stress-made a lasagna, so dinner was sorted for whenever they were ready to eat. He had been getting better at cooking and found he actually liked to do it, when he wasn't worrying over wasting food or money or time.
Haru beamed at him and came over to press a kiss to Danny's cheek, and they settled on the couch to unwind together. This didn't quite settle Danny's turbulent emotions, but it did warm him down to his toes.
"How's your day been?" Haru asked, curling an arm around him. Danny immediately recalled Dorit asking for the name of the comic for her pitch. He'd panicked and replaced Captain Haruto Nakamura with Captain Saito, because he hadn't felt like proclaiming to the world that the comic pulled from real-world experiences.
"Fine," he choked out, before he cleared his throat. "What about you? How was your day? You had that networking event today, right?"
Haru snorted. "If you can call it that. It was less networking with other companies and lawyers, and more physicians trying to tell us not to slowly or quickly kill ourselves with stress."
"Um?"
A chuckle this time. "Maybe a little less dramatic than that," Haru said. "Mostly we had to sit through lectures about smoking, alcoholism, the need for healthy recreation—all that sort of stuff."
"Oh." Danny said. "Sounds… interesting?"
"That's one way to put it," Haru said, pressing another kiss to Danny's shoulder. "Mostly boring. The only highlight was that there was a self-defense portion. I guess to teach us practical skills?"
"Oh yeah?" Danny asked. "How'd that go?"
Haru grinned. "Kuwabara was the instructor. So it was kind of fun."
Danny blinked at him. "Kuwabara… your sparring partner?"
"Yep," Haru said.
"Wow," Danny said. "Small world."
"No kidding." Haru tugged just a little, and that was all the invitation Danny needed to properly slide into his lap. "I'll tell you a secret," he murmured into Danny's ear.
Danny couldn't suppress his shiver. "Yeah?"
"There's this guy from another firm—we kind of hate each other's guts, okay? He's a jerk and a dirty lawyer, and loves thinking he's better than everyone else. And he was posturing, trying to show off—I think maybe because it was obvious Kuwabara and I knew each other—and he tried to fake Kuwabara out with a punch." Haru snickered. "Kuwabara laid him out flat on the mat for it. Cited his reflexes and turned it into part of the lesson. Clint was so red in the face he was practically purple."
"That's–" Danny sucked in air and tried to be normal. "That's pretty funny."
Haru frowned at him. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Danny said automatically. "Just tired."
"You hung out with Lily and Manuel, right?" Haru rubbed Danny's back. "I imagine you're tired."
Haru never pushed. He didn't ask nosy questions. He offered his hand to Danny over and over again, and Danny just wanted to stop being afraid to take it.
He was getting better at it though. Taking baby steps was still moving forward.
"Also," Danny started, taking a deep breath, bracing himself. "Also I have something to show you."
"Okay," Haru said, and Danny clambered off of him to go retrieve his backpack.
He was back a moment later, clutching his sketchbook. He might as well, he figured. He wanted Haru to read it first. Whatever happened with the publishing thing, he wanted Haru to read it.
To understand.
"I, um, I made this," he said, flipping to the first page. "For… for you."
"Oh," Haru said as he took the sketchbook, eyes scanning the drawings before he looked back up at Danny. "Can I read it now?"
"If you want to," Danny said, doing his best not to squirm.
Haru smiled at him and turned his attention back to the sketchbook. Danny scooted in next to him and followed along as Haru read, watching Haru's expressions and reactions to what happened on the page.
He saw it dawn on Haru just how long the comic was, saw his eyes widen as he continued to flip through the sketchbook. Saw him exhale softly as he read about Captain Saito's adventures, about how hard he worked to do the right thing, how hard he fought, even when the odds were against him. How he met Kirah and was determined to help, even when everyone else tried to warn him away. How he and Kirah continued on in the next adventure together, side by side.
When Haru got to the last page, he closed the sketchbook and ran a finger down the spine of it. "This is incredible," he said, hushed, as if he didn't want to break the quiet spell. "Danny, wow, I…"
"I made it for you," Danny said again.
"It's amazing," Haru said softly. He reached out to cup Danny's cheek. " You're amazing."
"You are too," Danny said. "And I just wanted… I just wanted you to know that. How amazing you are."
Haru made a low sound, and Danny leaned in to kiss him. He was getting better at taking initiative. He had never wanted to before, but Haru enjoyed it so much when he did, and Danny loved giving him that.
Giving.
He was going to tell Haru about Clint soon. About everything, but especially about who and how and why. Not tonight though; tonight was for making better memories.
Danny had spent so much of his life running in place, exhausting himself and stagnating. Now he was going somewhere good, so fast it sometimes made him dizzy. But he was so, so happy.
This was what flourishing felt like. This was what flying must feel like.
"Hey, Haru?" Danny whispered.
Haru's eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. Danny loved that he had gotten to learn Haru's face so intimately. "Yeah, baby?"
"I'm happy," Danny said. Even with the anxiety and panic that still reared its head, even with the bad dreams about how things used to be, even with the self-doubt and self-flagellation that still crept in. "I'm really, really happy."
Haru's lips parted. "I'm so glad, sweetheart." He sounded breathless. "I'm so glad." And then, nuzzled into Danny's temple. "Me too."
Danny turned to kiss the corner of Haru's mouth. Haru was still careful with him, and Danny had been happy to take things slow, to let himself heal a little from the fingerprints Clint had bruised into his skin. But the happiness and pride zipping down his spine made him want.
He wanted to give more to Haru. It wasn't because Haru gave him so much, because what they had wasn't transactional. It was simply because Danny wanted . He liked Haru so, so much, and was happier with him than he could ever remember being.
And now he wanted to be closer.
"Would you—" Danny licked his lips, suddenly shy. But he wanted Haru more than he wanted to hide. "Would you want to…touch me? If I wanted that too?"
They were so close that Danny heard Haru's quick inhale. Saw the way Haru's eyes darkened. "Yeah," Haru rasped, only ever honest with Danny. "If you wanted it? Then yeah, sweetheart. Every damn day."
Danny almost gasped at the admission. At the raw desire in Haru's voice. He wondered if he'd ever stop being surprised by the fact that Haru liked him, wanted him, as much as Danny liked and wanted Haru.
"Take me to bed?" Danny asked, and it came out clumsy, but Haru didn't seem to mind. Instead he was eager, eyes bright.
"Yeah?" Haru said, voice rough. "You want that?"
Danny nodded. Returned Haru's admission with his own. "I-I want everything with you."
Haru quickly stood, taking Danny's hand and pulling him to his feet.
Danny let out a laugh as he was tugged up, gratified at Haru's eagerness. Excitement had settled low in his belly, residual sparks fluttering through him. He and Haru had slept together in the same bed almost every night, but they'd only ever slept.
Danny was looking forward to sex in a way he never had before. He'd never done it freely, when it wasn't a transaction. He looked forward to learning what Haru liked. Learning what made Haru feel good.
Maybe Danny wanted to learn some things about himself too.
They tripped their way to the bedroom hand in hand, stopping for breathless kisses along the way. It was only once they were inside the threshold, bed in sight, that Haru pulled back.
"You're sure?" He asked Danny, cupping his face. "I'm not—I'm not pressuring you or—"
"I'm sure," Danny told him in a rush. "I want this. I want you." He met Haru's eyes. "More than I've ever wanted anyone before."
Haru let out a groan and tugged Danny forward, catching his mouth again as his hands started to wander. They touched him in a way they never had before, every brush against Danny's skin lighting him up with hot want. Danny eagerly returned the favor.
They stripped each other bare as their kisses turned heated, leaving clothing in little piles on the bedroom floor. Danny's back met the soft sheets of Haru's bed, and then Haru was blanketing him, covering Danny's body in a way that made him feel eager and wanted and hot, not trapped.
"You'll have to tell me what you like," Haru murmured against his mouth, moving to kiss the underside of Danny's jaw as he stroked his hands down the planes of Danny's body. Danny's breath hitched at being bare to the room, naked but unafraid. This wasn't a space where Danny was going to be hurt or humiliated. Haru would take care of him. Danny trusted him to.
"You have no idea—" Haru took a great shuddering breath. "You're so amazing, so beautiful. Sometimes I wake up and see you sleeping next to me, and I can't believe you're mine."
"Haru," Danny gasped. "What? No, I—you're the amazing one. You're smart and handsome and funny and kind and— ah— "
Haru looked incredibly pleased with himself, from his position on top of Danny. His hand had curled around Danny's cock, cutting his words off. Danny couldn't believe this was his life now, that this was something he got to have with someone he cared for so much.
"Yeah?" Haru said, voice low as he gave Danny a long, slow stroke. "That good, baby?"
Every nerve ending Danny had was lit up, focus points everywhere Haru was touching him, from his mouth on Danny's neck to his chest pressed to Danny's own, to Haru's big, warm hands circled loosely around Danny's cock. Danny wanted more of everything then, all at once. He wasn't afraid he'd get lost to the inferno.
"That's—not fair," he panted. "I was complimenting you."
Haru grinned at him and gave him another leisurely stroke, just enough to be a silken tease. "You know what they say, sweetheart. All's fair in love-making and war."
"They—definitely don't say that," Danny said, catching himself on what could have been a giggle. Being with Haru could swing from serious to silly so easily. He loved it all. "A-and anyway," he gasped as Haru kept up that delicious, teasing motion, the precome Danny was dripping everywhere making the glide easy. "You need to stop because if you keep it up, I'm going to come, and I want you to fuck me first—"
Haru froze and pulled back from mouthing at Danny's neck to stare at him, lips parted. "Yeah?"
Danny squirmed under the scrutiny, but this too was easy. "Yeah. Yes. Please."
Haru groaned. "With pleasure."
There was a slight scramble then, as Haru rolled off of Danny to rummage in a nightstand drawer, pulling out a little bottle. Danny had known it was there, he'd found it by accident when he was straightening up the bedroom several weeks ago. Thinking about Haru using it had made him flush red hot.
Now he was blushing for a different reason entirely, and he eagerly bent one leg up as Haru returned to him. "What do you like?" Haru asked, skimming his fingers up Danny's inner thigh. Now that he'd gotten permission to touch Danny, he didn't seem to want to stop, which was a heady feeling.
"I like you," Danny said. "A-and I don't know. I guess maybe—maybe not too fast?" With Clint, prep had always been too fast, too rough, because Clint was impatient and didn't care, and Danny just wanted to get over it because it shortened the time that Clint touched him.
But Danny didn't want to think about Clint anymore. That part of his life was over.
Haru's expression turned devilish. "You mean I get to take my time with you?" He touched one slick finger to Danny's hole, not breaching yet, just gently rubbing. "Open you up real slow, baby?"
Fuck, Danny needed Haru's fingers in him now. He felt like he was burning. "Yes," he panted. "Yes, yeah, please."
Haru pressed a kiss to Danny's shaking knee and slowly, slowly pushed his finger inside his body.
Danny let out a quiet moan as Haru's finger slipped inside of him, the lube and Danny's arousal making it easy. "Fuck." Haru had big hands and thick fingers, it was a delicious push, especially as Haru started to slowly thrust his finger in and out. "Oooh, fuck."
"Yeah?" Haru was watching him, eyes dark, expression rapt. "Good?"
"So good," Danny breathed, jerking when Haru's other hand, also slick with lube now, wrapped back around Danny's cock. "Ah—!"
Haru seemed determined to take Danny apart by inches, thrusting his finger in slow and deep, rubbing against Danny's inner walls as he played with Danny's cock just as maddeningly slowly. Thumbing under the head, twisting his wrist just so, and Danny writhed in the sheets under the ministrations, gasping out moans and Haru's name while Haru watched him with dark, dark eyes.
"Haru," Danny begged, one of his trembling hands coming up to wrap around Haru's wrist, stilling him. Haru was three fingers deep in him now, touching Danny's cock so lightly it was the worst kind of tease, and Danny needed Haru's cock in him yesterday. "Haru, please—"
"I thought you wanted me to take my time," Haru purred, punctuating his words with another insistent rub of his fingers over Danny's prostate.
Lightning sparks of pleasure lit up Danny's spine and he cried out, almost too sensitive. "I'm ready, I'm so ready, I want you to fuck me—" he babbled, desperate for it. "Haru please, I'm going to come, please I'm ready—"
"Fuck, you're so gorgeous," Haru said, voice gravel. He mercifully let go of Danny's cock, sliding his fingers out of Danny's hole, leaving Danny empty. "You know I love to give you what you want."
Danny sucked in air as Haru tore open a condom wrapper and rolled it on before slicking up his cock.
"Breathe, baby," Haru said, and started to push in.
Danny was so wound up that he nearly sobbed as Haru's cock made room for itself inside Danny's body. It wasn't an intrusion, it wasn't something he was gritting his teeth to get through. This was a way to be closer, an intimacy so intense it had Danny wanting to hide his face with how his emotions threatened to overwhelm him.
"You feel amazing," Haru gritted out. "So good for me, taking me so well, fuck."
"Haru," Danny gasped out, reaching for him. "Haru—"
Haru folded himself down, cock hitting deeper inside as he curled his arms around Danny's body. "I'm right here," Haru murmured, and they were so close like this. So close and Danny felt so good, full and enveloped and safe.
Danny clung to Haru as hot tears slid down his cheeks. "I didn't know—" the words tumbled out of him, wet and clumsy and almost pained. "I didn't know it could feel this good."
Haru kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his hair. "I'm so glad," he said, voice fervent. "I'm so glad you're feeling good. I'm so glad I'm the one who gets to make you feel good. You're worth so much, sweetheart. You deserve everything."
Danny let out a half-sob, clutching at Haru's back. "I—please—"
"What do you want, baby?" Haru asked. "Anything, it's yours."
"Move," Danny gasped. He wanted Haru to destroy him. Wanted him to put Danny back together and hold him afterwards. "Please—"
In answer, Haru started to roll his hips, lighting Danny up inside.
The way Danny was clinging to him, Haru couldn't get much leverage, couldn't fuck in fast or hard, but that wasn't what Danny wanted anyway. The slow, deep rolls of Haru's hips were enough to drive Danny out of his mind, and he reached out for kisses until he couldn't focus enough for them anymore, able only to moan out Haru's name as Haru fucked him exactly the way Danny needed.
"Gonna—gonna come—" Danny moaned. "So close, ah, please, Haru—"
"Do you want to touch yourself baby?" Haru panted as he kept rocking into him. "Do you want to come for me? Show me how pretty you look when you come?"
Danny let out a broken little sound and worked one of his hands down between them, circling around his cock. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he hissed as he jerked himself. "Haru, fuck, please—"
"Just like that," Haru growled. "Just like that baby, come on. You're perfect. Come for me."
Danny did, crying out as his body tensed and shook, white flashing behind his eyes.
When it was over, Danny sank boneless against the sheets, chest heaving. "Don't stop," he managed, even though he was shocky with over sensitivity. He wanted Haru to finish inside of him. "Don't stop, please, wanna—wanna feel you come."
"Fuck," Haru gritted out, and it was only a few more hard thrusts before he was letting out a low groan, hands fisted in the sheets above Danny's bed.
Danny watched, limbs loose and thoughts hazy, as Haru pulled out of him. Letting out a happy sound as Haru leaned down to kiss him, soft and close-mouthed.
Haru pulled back just enough to make quick work of the condom, removing it and tying it off, before crowding back in, winding his arms around Danny and pulling him close, nuzzling into his hair.
Danny sighed and sank into the feeling of being cherished. "Mmm."
"That was amazing," Haru murmured, kissing Danny's hair. "You're amazing."
Danny hummed happily and pressed his own kitten-kiss to Haru's neck.
They lay there in quiet silence for several long minutes as Danny drifted, just….so happy. Happy and content.
"Here," Haru said quietly after a while. "Let me go get something to clean you up, okay?"
"'kay," Danny managed sleepily, and that was amazing too. Haru wanted to take care of Danny after. Wanted to stay.
No one had ever wanted to do that before.
Before, Danny would have said he didn't deserve it anyway.
Haru pressed one more kiss to Danny's hair, then unwound his arms and slipped out of the bed. He returned with a warm, wet cloth, wiping down Danny's chest and stomach as Danny luxuriated in his gentle touch.
"Thank you," Danny mumbled as Haru curled back around him. "Love you."
There was a sharp intake of breath. "Sweetheart," Haru whispered. "I love you too."
The pleasure that hit Danny at hearing those words left him breathless and he pushed his face into Haru's neck, wanting to get as close as he could get.
A few more minutes, Danny told himself. He'd cuddle up with Haru for a few more minutes, and then he'd get them both up to actually eat the dinner Danny had made. Maybe Danny would tell Haru about the comic possibly being published. Maybe he'd tease Haru about the fact that Danny had never heard him curse so much before.
Maybe he'd tell Haru that he loved him again. Say the words out loud and relish how much he meant them.
For now though, Danny thought he deserved a few more minutes of cuddling with the man he loved.
He thought, finally, that he deserved a lot of things.