Chapter 4

Axon

I had never experienced such heartache and devastation like this before. Watching Ashley painstakingly shove herself against the wall as she passed me in the hallway was a memory that would be forever seared into my soul.

I stood frozen as she walked away. How could I recover a relationship that was so far gone? Could I right a wrong that hurt her so much? She did not wish to speak to me and why should she? I'd broken her heart. That much was clear.

I stomped back to the cave with the solete bird and continued to rip out its feathers like I'd done before, but this time I was loud and messy. I was being too loud, and I could feel a headache coming on, but I didn't care.

I needed to be loud, loud enough to not hear her footsteps, or voice, or even her sweet laughter. It hurt too much.

I ripped and ripped and ripped, letting tears stream down my face. I kept ripping and ripping until the sound became too much. Then I fell to the floor, clutching my head in my hands. A group of people walked by talking and laughing, which only made my head hurt worse.

I curled into a ball and pressed my hands to my ears like I would as I child. It didn't help. I breathed through the pain and welcomed it as it coursed through me. At least now the pain that radiated through my body was greater than the pain that ran through my heart.

I closed my eyes and wished to be something other than what I was. Why couldn't I be a tanuki shifter like Tarak or a bird like Jax? Anything would have been better than this. As long as I could touch Ashley, it would be worth it.

I hated the pained look in her eyes as she walked past me. I had brought her that pain, me , and I hated myself for it.

I lost track of time as I laid there on the floor, but it was Ashley's name on everyone's lips that brought me out of my stupor.

"Where is she?"

"Have you seen her?"

"She's not in her bed."

"I checked all the other caves. Did someone check the clearing?"

"I just got back from there. No one is outside."

It seemed that everyone in the dekes was looking for Ashley and yet she was nowhere to be found.

Where could she have gone? I knew exactly how small our mountain home was. It shouldn't be hard to find her.

"Okay, let's make a plan, assign locations to look for her and then meet back here." Fatima's voice was firm and her plan was concise.

"What do we do if we can't find her?" Sarah asked.

"Let's not think about that yet," Gab-bae added.

I picked myself up off the floor and cleaned myself off in the water basin by the door.

"What's going on?" I asked my mother as soon as I entered the main cavern. She looked grim.

"Ashley is missing. Do you know where she is? Can you hear her?"

I calmed my breathing and opened up my senses to listen for the familiar footsteps of the female who held my heart, but there was nothing.

"No," I shook my head.

"Then she might truly be gone." My mother commented, looking more worried now than before.

I couldn't hear her, but there was no way she could be gone. There was nowhere to go. Her only option would be the forest... By the goddess, if she wasn't here, she'd be out there, and it was getting dark.

I ran to every room in the mountain and my heart sank with each empty cave I found.

I finally caught her scent. It was old, but I was still able to follow it. She'd gone from her furs to the clearing and...her scent kept going into the forest.

I ran back inside to find everyone had gathered again in the cavern.

"She's not here. We checked everywhere."

I gritted my teeth against the pain of hearing multiple people talking at once in an enclosed space. It was too loud, but I stayed put hoping that I was wrong, hoping that someone would report back that they'd found her. When no one did I spoke up.

"She's gone into the forest. I tracked her scent there."

A silence filled the room.

"God damn it!" Gab-bae swore. "I knew I should have checked on her. She looked too happy."

"I will search for her." I volunteered. "Her scent is old, but I can still track it."

Tarak nodded his head in agreement. "Good luck, my friend. May the goddess bless your search."

I grabbed my pack and headed to the clearing. I picked up her scent on a well-worn trail and followed it. At least the trail she chose was an easy one. She'd be less likely to get lost. Unless some forest beast had already gotten to her, of course. Many were hibernating, but there were still a few that prowled the forest in search of food.

With that thought haunting my every step, I picked up my pace. I needed to find Ashley, and I needed to find her soon.