Chapter 13

He flew in one of the best oncologists in his field. Dr. Errol Braithwaite had written several papers on the subject and Axel had contributed heavily to his research on regenerative cancer cells which made it very easy for the man to leave his well-funded lab to come running as soon as Axel spoke to him.

"I am going to need her medical history."

"I am sure that will not be a problem. I also don't want the press getting a hold of this." The doctor had promised to be discreet.

"Darling, you have been traveling for the entire night." Caitlin fretted as soon as he strode into her bedroom.

"And morning." He went straight to her bed and sat on the edge of it. She looked pale and tired as if she had not slept in days. Was it just yesterday he had received the news? It felt like months. His hand touched her cheek gently.

"Dr. Braithwaite is on his way and should be here in another few hours. He had to take a commercial flight as the jet was otherwise occupied."

"Such a fuss over little old me." Her hand closed over his as she examined his face. "You are tired and no doubt hungry. You should…"

"No." he shook his head firmly. "This is the time where we take care of you. I am fine. I ate on the plane." He did not tell her that it had been a few nibbles of the roast beef as his appetite was not what it used to be.

Was it only a week since he had left? All the way back, his mind had veered from one situation to the next. His mother's diagnosis and Ellie. He had not seen the article published and had not heard a word either from his assistant nor his head of PR.

They both looked up as Cathy came rushing into the room.

"Thank God you are here." She said feelingly, hugging him as he sat on the edge of the bed." She has been a pain since she heard that I called you and you were rushing back here." She frowned as she stared at him, taking in the haggard look on his unshaven face. "Darling, you look worse than mom."

"Thank you." Axel muttered dryly, returning her hug. "Just what I needed."

"Just saying." Kissing him on the forehead fondly, she moved out of his embrace and looked at the woman lying on the bed. "I came as soon as school dismissed. I would not have gone if it had not been a case where I was needed. How do you feel?"

"Much better now. My two children are showering me with attention. Get Axel something to eat."

"Mom…!"

"As a matter of fact, I am feeling rather hungry myself and strong enough to have a proper meal in the sitting room." She started to rise when Axel leaned over to help her up.

"I am not an invalid," she told him crossly.

"Just making certain you don't tire yourself out." Ignoring her peevish expression, he guided her off the bed and helped her on with her robe. "Are you sure you are up to getting up?"

"I am sure. I hate lying in bed and doing absolutely nothing. It makes me feel lazy."

"You are ill, and nothing is wrong with just lying in bed." Tucking her arm through his, he led her to the lovely blue and cream sitting room where there were dozens of house plants standing in the corners.

He was extremely gentle with her, making sure that she was seated before taking his seat across from her.

Cathy had gone downstairs to see what was there for supper, leaving them alone. She fussed with the tassels on her robe and then busied herself by plucking at the dead leaves of her English ivy. "I talk to them," she admitted with a rueful smile as she continued to tear at the leaves.

"Your sister thinks I am being ridiculous, but I am positive they can hear me. They certainly perk up whenever I say something." Lifting her head, she stared at her son. "We keep in touch."

"I am not…"

"Ellie Logan and I keep in touch. Cathy as well. We made her promise to do so before she left. When we told her you had left, she was devastated.

Oh, she tried to hide it, but we could see the glitter of tears in her eyes." She gave him an accusing look. "I brought you up better than that, Axel and I cannot believe you deliberately broke that beautiful woman's heart."

His jaw was tight with displeasure and even though he was angry at her criticisms, he could not meet her eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it, and you have enough on your plate as it is."

"You are my son and I love you to death, but you are making a big mistake."

This time, he turned his head to look at her. "Then it's mine to make and if you are going to persist in bringing up a topic I would rather not discuss, I am going to…," his voice tailed off with a sigh. "I cannot discuss it, not now. Please understand."

Leaning forward, she placed her small hand over his much larger one. "I love you darling. My heart bursts with pride whenever I think of you. You have achieved so much, but nothing is as important as having someone who loves you, someone in your corner to make things – make life a little easier.

I had you and Cathy and as much as it was difficult back then, it was all worth it because of my two children." Clasping his hands, she squeezed it gently. "Don't make the mistake of letting that beautiful woman slip away from you."

*****

"You are going to Europe?" Her friends stared at her in surprise. "What on earth for?" Jackie stared at her in surprise.

Ellie had finally accepted their invitation to go dancing, even though she was not feeling the vibes. She had finished the article, spent time finetuning it and handed it in. She had then told Marge that she was taking an extended leave of absence, and the editor had grudgingly agreed.

"To see the sights, just laze around doing nothing. Perhaps have sex with a fabulously handsome French or Italian male. Brush up on my language skills and buy some exorbitantly expensive item of clothing."

Ellie sipped her margarita with little enthusiasm. It was their usual haunt, but tonight it felt as if everything was wrong with the place. The music was too loud, the men who had approached their table every five minutes to ask her for a dance were too clean shaven and suave.

She was not in the least bit tempted. It had been a week since she left River Glades and during that time, she had been trying to get back her rhythm without success. Her mother was barely speaking to her, but that was not a bother, she preferred it that way.

Both Caitlin and Cathy had kept in touch but speaking to them only brought back bittersweet memories of the man she had fallen in love with. An article in the society rags reported that he had gone back to River Glades. That was yesterday.

"Honey, what brought this on?" Marcia asked as she popped the cherry into her mouth and got rid of the stem. Her pina colada was getting low, but having another one of the potent drinks would not be a good idea. She was going to switch to some rum and coke. More coke than rum.

Ellie shrugged, ignoring the invitation of the man who was sitting across from them. "I need to live. I have been modeling for most of my life and right after, I started at the magazine. I want to be able to wake up in the mornings, just wearing my nightgown and not having to set an alarm. I need a break."

Jackie stared at her suspiciously. "Did something happen to you when you were in River Mountain?"

"River Glades," she corrected automatically, stirring her drink. "It was a spectacularly lovely place." She smiled at her friends. "You should both take a trip there. There are these lovely little cottages…"

"What about Axel Lakeside?"

She felt a quickening of her heart at the sound of his name. "What about him?"

"Honey, you haven't said a word about the man since you have been back." Marcia pointed out in exasperation. "As a matter of fact, you have not said much of anything. What's going on with you?"

She considered lying, but both girls had been her best friends forever and they always told each other everything. "I did something stupid."

"Define stupid..," Marcia demanded.

Taking a fortifying sip of her drink, she told them the story, right up to the humiliating episode where she went to dinner with his family, expecting him to be there. Only to be told that he had left.

By the time she was finished, their drinks were depleted, and they were staring at her in a mixture of shock and awe.

"You slept with Axel Lakeside." Jackie pushed away the envy that had sprung up as she continued to stare at her friend.

"We did not sleep."

"Bitch," she muttered. "You don't have to rub it in."

"I don't think you did anything stupid." Marcia spoke up, dark brown eyes twinkling as she lifted a hand for the bartender to bring them more drinks. "I think it's wonderful."

Ellie gave her a cutting look. "What's so wonderful about being dumped?"

"Honey, you are in love. Yes, it sucks wide that the idiot man just up and left without a word. But that's men for you. They are never known to be brightest bulb in the box.

But, if you did not mean anything to him, he would not have felt the need to do a vanishing act. Ah, thanks Brian." She smiled at the man who brought over the drink. Waiting until he left, she continued. "This trip you are planning might be just the wake up call he needs."

Ellie shook her head and automatically reached for her rum and coke. "He won't know. His mother and sister have been keeping in touch, but I am going to cut off communications. It's too painful to talk to them. I certainly don't need any reminders of him and it's going to make it difficult for me to move on."

"Can you?" Marcia asked her bluntly.

"I have been trying to forget."

"You are in love with the guy honey. Cut yourself some slack. It's not an emotion that's going to just disappear as if it's the common cold."

"I wish it was. I keep hoping that I would wake up one morning and I no longer feel the awful yearning for him," she admitted wryly.

"What if you are pregnant?" Jackie burst out. "You said that you had sex without using anything. It's not like you to be so irresponsible or were you hoping you could use a baby to trap him into marrying you?"

Ellie and Marcia stared at her in shock.

"You know me better than that. What the hell is your problem?"

Jackie collapsed back against the chair, her expression mutinous and weary. "I am sorry."

Pushing her drink aside, she clasped her hands together on the tabletop. "I am projecting. Paul is filing for a divorce. He said it's not working for him anymore and he has met someone else. He also wants custody of the children." Her hands trembled as she reached for her drink.

There was silence around the table for a minute before Ellie reached out and took her hand. "I am so sorry."

Jackie nodded. "I saw it coming, but buried my head in the sand, refusing to believe it was happening. We were not happy. I doubt we ever were." She shook her head. "The sad part of it is, I don't know if I am going to fight him for custody.

We got married too soon. I was pregnant and it seemed like the right thing to do." Tears gathered in her eyes, and she had to blink them away. She squeezed Ellie's hand. "I envy you your fairytale affair honey and that was jealousy speaking."

"You are forgiven." Ellie told her huskily, her own problems diminishing. "But think about this very carefully and get a damn good lawyer."

"I agree with Ellie. Those children are yours as much as his and he has no right trying to take them from you."

"He says that all I do is work and he is probably right. He told me that he is the one who is always there for them."

"Wasn't that the damn arrangement?" Ellie demanded; her anger apparent. "He would stay home, and you go out and work? Now he is trying to use that against you?"

Jackie laughed bitterly. Taking another sip of her drink, she trailed a finger over the condensation on the glass. "The irony of it is, now he wants to work. The woman he met is some sort of executive and has her own company. They have been seeing each other for months now and as soon as the divorce is final, they are getting married."

"That soulless bastard!" Marcia hissed. "Honey, I am advising you to fight dirty. I know a damn good lawyer and I am going to ask him if he can take your case pro bono. You are not going to roll over and play dead. Not on my watch."

"Or mine, either." Ellie added.

*****

Later that night when she got home, Ellie sat on the loveseat in the corner of the room, her legs curled beneath her as she stared at the TV.

A romcom was showing, but she had muted the sound and was not really paying attention to the couple holding hands and splashing through a lovely stream. Her mind was not on the movie, she had just turned the TV on for some ambient light.

She felt sorry for Jackie, but her friend had admitted that she had never been in love with her husband. She herself could never countenance being with a man permanently without being in love with him.

Human beings were simply hard to live with in the first place and when there is no sort of emotional attachment it makes matters more complicated. But now she was in love, and it made her want to run around and scream in frustration.

Jackie had all but accused her of trying to trap Axel. But she was not sure that was not the case.

It had not been something she had willfully thought of doing, but in the back of her mind, she had hoped for a child from their union. It was stupid and unproductive; Jackie was living proof that it didn't pay to get pregnant just so one could have the man. A baby tends to make things worse in most cases.

Besides, it was a moot point. Her periods had come two days ago, so she had nothing to worry about. It was for the best. She would go on about her business and spend the time trying to forget him. She had already spoken to her dad about leaving and he had encouraged her to do so.

"I am going to miss you like crazy honey, but it's your life and if you need to take some time, then by all means, do so."

Her mother was barely speaking to her and as far as she knew, Eleanor had was no longer seeing the man she had been involved with. Which was a good thing, Ellie thought. She was hoping her mother would come to her senses and realize that she did not need a man to be fulfilled.

That was so funny coming from her, she thought wretchedly. She needed Axel. At nights, she would reach for him and cry herself to sleep when she realized he was not there.

Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes and brought up the image of him on top of her. It was pure torture to relive the memories, but somehow, they seem to bring her comfort.

*****

"We might not have to remove the breasts." Dr. Braithwaite had been with them for two days now and had brought his entire plethora of equipment. He had also brought his own nurse and the two had been given a suite of rooms at the manor.

"There might be an alternative. Treatments to minimize the growth of the cancer cells and in some cases kill them." He glanced at the man standing in the corner of the room, before looking at his patient.

"Your results are positive my dear and we are going to put you on a series of treatment right away. For the first day, you are going to feel nauseous and listless, but I can assure you that afterwards, your body will adapt, and you will be able to be up and about as before."

"Will I be able to do my gardening?"

"I have seen your lovely plants and would think it's criminal if you were not able to nurture them. Yes," he nodded. "You will certainly be able to go back to doing your daily activities. Now." He continued briskly, slapping his hands together. "Shall we get started?"

*****

"Give it to me straight." Axel cornered the doctor as soon as he left the room, with the nurse attending to his mother. "Drink?" He led him into a lovely parlor with windows overlooking the vegetable garden and dense foliage leading towards the wooded area.

"Whiskey, please."

Axel poured them both a glass and handed it to him. "We are not in mother's room right now, so I want the unvarnished truth. Wouldn't she better off in a hospital with a full complement of capable staff?"

"She is doing very well and reacting positively to the treatments. You know I would recommend going in if it was at all necessary." The man swirled the liquid in the glass and took an appreciative swig.

"You have been very generous in your donations to the project, and I am forever in your debt. I would never lie to you about something as important as your mother's health."

Axel stared at him for a few seconds as if trying to assess the validity of his comment, before nodding. "She is my mother." He said simply.

"And the entire world knows how you feel about your family. "The doctor smiled as he walked over to the window to take in the spectacular view. "It's commendable.

My own mother was a calculating bitch who never gave a hoot about my brother and me. We were passed on to various nannies while she flaunted her sexuality and try to collect as many lovers as she could."

He shook his head to dismiss the distressing memories. Turning to look at Axel, he smiled. "Your mother is the loveliest woman I ever have the good fortune to meet. And her contribution to this place is phenomenal. I take it as my personal duty to make certain she will get better. You can take my word for it."

*****

"She is sleeping and looks so much better." Cathy handed him the glass of wine. "The treatment seems to be working." Plopping down on one of the sofas in her sitting room, she toed off her shoes and leaned her head back wearily.

It had been an exhausting week, and she had taken a few days from work to be here with her mother and brother. She was eternally grateful that Axel had not left the house at all.

He had set up office in one of the rooms so that he could be near if needed.

"You look like you could use some sleep," she murmured.

"I am about to pop into the bedroom and take a nap," he said with a smile.

"You also look sad and miserable and it's not about mom."

"Leave it alone!" His voice was brusque, his face set in a hard line.

"How can you be so damn pigheaded? Why don't you call her?"

"Drop it."

"You are my brother, and I love you, but sometimes you can be such an ass." Downing her wine, she rose. "Dinner will be served in a few minutes." With that, she flounced from the room and slammed the doors behind her.

Downing the wine, he marched over to the cabinet to get something stronger. He had thought he could forget about her, but even amid the worries over his mother, she was still lodged inside his brain. Cutting off a groan, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes wearily.