Chapter 14

He was almost inside the doorway before he noticed the achingly familiar form seated in an easy chair next to his mother's bed.

The argument he had with his sister two days ago was still fresh in his mind and had made situation worse for him. His mother was doing a lot better and was allowed to move around somewhat. Dr. Braithwaite had left because of some urgent matters needing his attention, but the nurse was still here and monitoring her recovery.

He stood there just staring at her, his expression one of uncontrolled yearning. She was wearing a thick green and white cashmere sweater over painted on denims and knee-high black leather boots. Was it his imagination or did she look a little thinner than usual? He wondered.

The article was out, and he had read the first draft she had sent to Felicia, the head of his PR team. He had approved of her style of writing and how she had managed in her own inimitable way to bring the town of River Glades and its occupants to vivid life.

He had no complaints and Felicia was raving over the article. She pronounced that it was the best that has ever been written.

"It's like she knows you better than anyone else."

She was laughing at something his mother said when she happened to look up and saw him standing there. He saw the naked hurt and pain on her face before it was masked into a cool and neutral look.

"Ellie arrived this afternoon." His mother said as he came into the room. "She is on her way to Europe."

"I see." He had to drag his eyes away from her to concentrate on his mother. "Good to see you."

"Well, yes." Ellie rose. Ignoring him completely, she took Caitlin's hand and squeezed. "I will make certain to come and say goodbye before I leave. I am very relieved that you are doing much better."

Caitlin, held her hand, a fond expression on her face. "Please do."

With a nod, she turned and walked out without looking at Axel.

There was a very pregnant silence for a few seconds after she left.

"Are you going to let her leave?" His mother demanded.

"It's not my place to stop her." Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he rocked back on his heels, uncertain what to do with himself. "What is she doing here?"

"She came because she heard I was ill and wanted to see me before she goes." Caitlin gave him an exasperated glance. "She is leaving for an indefinite period. Are you going to allow this wonderful woman to just walk out of your life?"

"She is not in my life." He closed his eyes briefly. "Look, this is between me and Ellie, and I don't…" He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "Mom, you don't understand."

"I do, absolutely." She patted the place at her left hip, and he sat, albeit reluctantly. "She is in love with you and from the look on your face and the fact that you have been moping around!" She shook her head when he opened his mouth. "Don't bother telling me it's because of my illness.

You have been out of sorts since you met her, and it's only gotten worse." Taking his hands in his, she linked their fingers together.

"Don't allow what happened with your dad and that – that woman sour you and have you making the biggest mistake of your life. She is staying at the cottage and leaving first thing in the morning. Persuade her to stay."

"I can't…"

"Axel Liam Lakeside, if you let that beautiful girl slip through your fingers, I am going to be very upset."

"Me too." They both looked up as Cathy came into the room. "Go after her, for goodness' sake and stop being so damned stubborn."

"Both of you ganging up on me now?" He asked with raised brows.

"You bet. Go."

*****

Ellie sat around the familiar counter, her hands cradled on the cup of tea, she had yet to take a sip of. She had promised both Cathy and Caitlin that she would pop by and say goodbye and she would. But seeing him just now, was wreaking havoc on her senses.

The black sweater and the jeans looked great against his tan and even the scruff was very attractive. She had wanted to fling herself into his arms and beg him to love her. Getting out of that bedroom had been the most difficult thing she had ever done.

"I need something stronger." She muttered. Pushing away from the counter, she was making her way to the fridge when she heard a knock on the door.

Could it be…? Her heart stopped for a second and then picked up its beat as she wondered if he had come after her. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to take moderate steps toward the door.

Pulling it open, she stood there staring at the man who had haunted her dreams since the day she met him.

"Hi." His deep voice sent shivers racing up and down her spine and it was all she could do to keep from dissolving.

"Hi."

"May I come in?" His thick brows lifted teasingly as she continued to stand there.

"Oh, of course." Stepping back, she allowed him entry and closed the door.

"I hope I am not disturbing you."

"No." She led the way into the living room where there was a fire going. Walking over to the window, she leaned against the pane and watched him standing in front of the fireplace.

"It's cold."

"Yes. I left home to moderate weather and came here to almost winter like temperatures." She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "Your mother looks well."

"She does."

"The treatments are working…"

"I did not come here to talk about my mother or the weather."

"Oh." She rubbed her hands over the sweater. It was just then she remembered that she had removed her jeans and was wearing only her underwear and sweater.

"You are leaving."

"Yes. Europe." She smiled brightly. "I have always wanted to go in a non-working capacity."

"You are on vacation?"

She shook her head. "I took a leave of absence. I am trying to decide what to do with my life."

"I see. The article was outstanding."

"Thanks. I wasn't certain…"

"Stay."

"What?" she was sure she had heard him correctly.

Moving away from the hearth, he walked towards her slowly. "Stay."

Ellie swallowed the lump in her throat. "Why?" She whispered.

He stopped in front of her, broad shoulders and blocking out the rest of the room.

"I want a chance to get to know you."

"Why?" She knew she sounded like a damn fool but did not know what else to say.

His hand lifted to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin he had dreamed so much about. "Because I cannot get you out of my head."

"That's not good enough." She was trying to tell herself she should run with just that, but he had hurt her so much that she was not willing to compromise. "You ran out and left without saying goodbye. I cannot take the chance of that happening again."

He stared at her so long, she held her breath and wondered if he was going to run out again.

"Fair enough." He finally said. "I…, I am not very good at this. My last relationship went to hell, and I have trust issues."

"Really?"

He merely lifted his brows at her teasing note.

"Yes really." He tilted her chin up, golden eyes smoldering as he stared at her lips. "My mother and sister both think I am a moron, and I would be a fool to let you go."

"So, I have them to thank for your change of heart?"

"No." He shook his head. "Not entirely. They told me you were leaving, and it was as if something loosened inside me." His fingers tightened. "I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you too." She finally moved into his arms. "What now?"

"I take you into the bedroom and remove the sweater."

"And then?"

"And then, we go from there."

"Sounds like a plan." Sweeping her into his arms, he strode towards the bedroom.

*****

"You have not said if you were staying." They were both breathless after the very torrid lovemaking which had stared well before he removed his clothing. Now they were completely naked and lying on the bed.

"I am not entirely convinced I should stay." Her body was still hot, her blood sizzling. He had not told her he was in love with her, had only asked her to stay and she was afraid that she would wake up one morning to find him gone.

"How about this?" Leaning over, he covered her lips with his, the kiss sending her heart rate skyrocketing. Her hands came up and around his neck as she deepened the kiss.

"Well!" She whispered shakily when he ended the kiss. Touching his hair roughened jaw, she let her touch lingered.

"I am not big on being romantic."

"Okay."

"And like I said, I have trust issues."

"I get that."

He brushed the hair off her forehead. "I am busy most of the time."

"I am in love with you."

He started at that.

"Yes Axel. I fell in love with you while I was in the middle of interviewing you. It was not professional, but it did not stop me from falling. I want marriage and children, perhaps two or four, but I would settle for two.

A boy and a girl. I am willing to take it slow so that we get to know each other. But I already know that I want you. My mother is not a very good example of what a good relationship should be, and my best friend's marriage is down the toilet. But I am not going to use that to measure our future."

He stared at her for a second before looking at his hand on her cheek. She made him feel wonderfully alive and with her, he felt like taking the plunge, but he was still afraid that he was doing the wrong thing and wondered if he could trust her.

But as far as letting her go, he felt as if his entire life was imploding. She steadied him. He loved making love to her. It was the most passion he had ever felt in his life, and he wanted more of it. But he could not say the ‘L' word, not yet. He still had things to deal with.

"I am fiercely attracted to you." He began slowly.

"That's a start. Continue." She urged.

"As far as marriage is concerned, I am not there yet." He saw when her expression turned slightly chilly. "I am sorry."

"It's because of her."

"Among other things. Look, I want to be in your life and am asking you to be patient."

"For how long?"

His eyebrows lifted. "Is there a time constraint?"

"I am not going to sit around and wait for you to make up your mind. I might be in love with you, but I value myself too much to sit and wait around for you to decide if you want to be with me. My dad is still doing that after so many years and I have no intention of following suit."

"Got it." Letting go of her face, he rolled away and got off the bed.

"Are you leaving?"

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Yes, but I am not going to beg you to." Easing herself up, she dragged the sheets to cover her nakedness. "You were honest with me, and I was doing the same." She watched as he walked over to stare into the fire.

"You are right." He finally turned to look at her. Her hair was tousled, a thick lock falling over her forehead. Her lips were moist and swollen from his ardent kisses and the sheet was barely covering her pert breasts.

She might be carrying his seed. He had not bothered to use anything and had already made love to her twice already. He had been incredibly hungry, his body craving hers. And it still was. It frightened him how intense his passion and desire for her was.

"I don't want to lose you."

Pushing the sheets down, she held out a hand. "I don't want that either." She told him huskily.

Leaving his place at the hearth, he went to her and took her in his arms.

*****

"You did not have to make us breakfast. "Ellie protested as she accepted her second cup of excellent coffee. "And you should not be working!"

"Nonsense." Caitlin waved dismissively as she stared at the couple, a beaming smile on her face. "I am so happy, I could burst."

"We are not talking wedding just now." Her son warned, watching as her smile collapsed.

"We want to wait for a while." Ellie kept the smile on her lips. Last night had been magical. He had kept her up for most of the night as if he could not get enough of her.

And this morning, she had opened her eyes to feel his arms wrapped possessively around her waist. She was determined not to think on the fact that he had not returned her avowals of love or said anything about her comment of wanting him for her husband and the opportunity to bear his children.

"What on earth for?"

"Mom!"

"No." She shook her head. "You love each other…"

"It's our decision and we would appreciate you not interfering." Pushing back his chair, he started towards the door. "I have some calls to make and a video conference." He paused at Ellie's chair, amber eyes staring down at her. He was aware he was doing something wrong but could not stop himself. Kissing her on the head, he headed out.

The silence following his departure was taut with tension, until Caitlin, refilled her cup and sat back down, a frown on her forehead.

"He is so frustrating."

"That he is." Ellie wrapped her fingers around the cup.

"Are you staying?" She asked anxiously.

"I am." Ellie sent her a whimsical smile. "Axel is…," she searched for the appropriate word and could not seem to find one. "He is cautious."

"But you love him." She nodded in understanding. "He loves you too, but he does not know how to say the words." She sighed sadly. "Do you know how long he is staying?"

Ellie shook her head. "He has not said anything to me."

"What about you?"

"Well, I did cancel my trip to Europe."

Caitlin sighed again. "I just hope he knows what he is doing."

*****

He paced the length of the carpeted floor as he listened to the litany of complaints from his CFO. "I am telling you straight Axel, the project is a disaster, and the banks are murmuring about tax brackets and the viability of funding something that is going to take years to see any kind of returns."

"You crunched the figures?"

"We did and does look bleak, but bankers have no imagination and are not willing to look at the long run."

He stopped at the Louis V desk and rubbed his palm over the glossy surface, a frown on his forehead. He had his hands in many pies and sometimes it seemed as if he was constantly working. He had more money than he could ever spend in several lifetimes. He had it all, or so he would like to believe.

"Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"What would you like me to do?"

"Hold off on the financing for a bit. I need to think if I really want to go through with it. The board has been making some noises about overextending and I want to look into that."

"When are you coming back?"

He pondered that for a minute and stared out the doorway in the direction of the sitting room where his mother had served breakfast.

"I am not certain. I will continue to monitor my mother's progress from here and have a firsthand look at what's happening with the renovations going on. I will let you know." He hung up before the man could respond. Sitting on the edge of the desk, he rubbed the back of his neck slowly.

He was about to make another call when his phone rang again. Picking it up, he stared at the familiar number and contemplated not answering.

Pressing the green icon, he put it on speaker. "Serena."

"Hi. I just heard about your mom and wanted to know how she is doing."

He did not bother asking how she heard, because it had been leaked to the press. "She is doing better. Thanks for asking."

"No problem." She paused. "Axel, can we meet? I am free for several weeks, and really need to speak with you."

"That's not a good idea."

"Please. I really want to clear the air."

"I think we already did that."

"Axel, I am asking you to meet with me and hear me out."

"Serena…"

"I can come to you, if that's more convenient." He looked in the direction of the sitting room again.

"No, I will try and see you in a day or two."

"Thank you so much."

"Goodbye." He hung up and stared at the phone in contemplated silence. He should have refused to see her, but there was still something there. And it was holding him back from making a decision. He had to get some sort of closure.

He was so deep in thought that he did not hear her come in until she was almost on top of him.

"Is everything okay?"

His head jerked up to look at her.

"Yes. Some issues with a project the company was thinking of taking on. Where is mother?"

"She is tending to her house plants." Tilting her head, she stared at him. "What is it, Axel?"

"Nothing."

"You are having second thoughts."

"No." Taking her hand, he drew her towards him. "I am moody and irascible. I have been so involved in building the company that it has become a part of me. An integral part of me and I cannot turn it off."

She gave him a speculative look. "Is that all?"

"What else is there?"

"Your ex."

His eyes sharpened and he wondered if she had heard the tail end of his conversation.

"What about her?" He asked brusquely.

"The fact that you do not talk about her."

"There is nothing to say."

She studied his face. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." He clipped. "And I am finding this discussion a little distasteful. Please drop it."

"I am not going to compete with her." She warned, eyes flashing.

"Youa re starting to piss me off."

"Already?" She mocked; her throat tight. She was not going to break down in front of him and was rethinking about going to Europe. She had thought last night would have cemented things for them, but she was wrong.

"We are not even into our first week yet and it's already starting." She was turning to leave, when he snagged her around the waist.

"I am sorry." He whispered hoarsely, fingers biting into her waist. "I am not good at this."

"That's pretty clear." She stared at him. "Axel, I am not going to force you into doing something you do not want to be a part of. Just…," she shook her head. "You asked me to stay!"

"I need you." He waded in abruptly, his face harsh. "I don't want to, but I need you and when I left that first time, it was hell. I could not think about anything else except the fact that you were no longer there." He bent his head towards hers and inhaled her scent.

Tilting her chin up, he took her lips in a kiss that had her toes curling. Her arms came around his neck, fingers toying with the thick hairs at his temples. He pulled her between his thighs, his hands wandering down her firm buttocks, his cock hardening. Ending the kiss, he pressed his forehead on hers and grappled with his composure.

"I want you all the time." He growled.

"That's good, because I want you all the time too." she told him shakily. Her fingers massaged the strong column of his neck, loving the feel of his muscles contracting.

"What do you say about having dinner with me?"

"At your place?"

He shook his head, a teasing smile tugging at his sensuous lips and sending her senses dipping crazily.

"I was thinking of a certain Irish pub. I think it is time we go public."