Chapter 12

He took one of the horses out. After a supper of chili, his long-time housekeeper Maria had made up for them, Axel declined the offer of coffee and whiskey. He told the old man he wanted to take a look at the land, but in reality, he just wanted to get some air.

He also suspected that William had more than just a casual relationship with the woman. He had seen the subtle nuances, and the intimate looks passed between the two. He was happy that the old man was not entirely alone.

The air was bracing, the crisp breeze seeping through his jacket as he gave the animal its head. The land was slightly uneven in places and several times he had to pull at the horse's rein to avoid being unhorsed.

Tugging on the reins, he brought the animal to a halt among the towering trees. The wind whistling through the leaves was kind of eerie. Vaulting out of the saddle with an expertise borne of experience, he looped the reins over a strong sapling.

"Easy boy." Running a gloved hand over its glossy flanks, he quieted the restless horse absently as he surveyed the denseness of the area. William had not exaggerated when he said he had sold most of the livestock.

Aside from a few cattle grazing on the hill and the horses in the stable, there wasn't anything much to see. It was a private area with the closest neighbor several miles away. Axel had been here when the place was running full tilt, and it was strange and extremely sad to see it like this.

Moving away from the animal, he strode towards the pretty lake that had always fascinated him. Would she love a place like this? The thought popped inside his mind before he could stop it.

No, she wouldn't, he decided firmly. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he rocked back on his heels. She was a city girl. He had seen it stamped all over her. And had heard it from the conversations they had. But Christ, he missed her!

It was not even twenty-four hours since he was with her, and he could already feel the yearning inside him. He had run because he instinctually knew that he had gotten too involved. It was not just sex.

And he should have realized it from the very first time he met her. She was under his skin, in his blood. When he made love to her, it cemented the fact that he was not simply going to forget about her.

He had been tempted to stay, to suggest to her that they move on to the next step. He had no doubt what her answer would be. He had seen the look in her eyes, on her face, that she was starting to have feelings for him.

He had been surprised as hell to discover that she was not very experienced. Her kisses lacked the expertise of someone who had been doing it a while. A

nd her moves were not practiced. She had been shy at first and then after his gentle coaxing had she opened up to him completely. Her tightness when he first entered her was added proof that for a woman of her looks, she had not been chaste. It puzzled him that she was.

He had explored her pictures on the internet and spent time staring at them. His research told him she had been involved with a fellow model, but the relationship had only lasted a year. He had stopped himself from asking about her personal life, because he had not wanted to be involved.

Lifting his head to the sky, he studied the formations of the puffy white clouds moving languidly across the velvet darkness. In the past whenever he had some thinking to do, he had always come this way to be alone and would find himself wrapped up in solitude. Tonight, it was proving more difficult.

He had too much on his mind. William's announcement had staggered him. He could not bear the thought of the man leaving this earth and he was not ready. He had also been such a force in life and Axel will always be grateful for the counseling and the experience he had garnered working here at the ranch.

He was ambivalent about accepting his gift. He had more than enough money. A soft laugh escaped him, sending a few squirrels scampering away. In the past, he would not have thought that, but suddenly, it did not mean so much to him anymore.

He had always been hungry and determined never to be poor again. His motivation had been mostly his mother and sister, providing for them. But he had also wanted to prove to himself and his old man that he could do it.

What if she was carrying his child? He would do the right thing of course and be there for both of them. But he was just not ready to make a commitment. No matter what his heart was saying.

*****

The house seemed lonely and eerily quiet. That was the first thing that hit her as soon as she entered the foyer and dropped her case. She had come back a day earlier than planned, declining the invitation to have dinner with Caitlin and Cathy.

It did not matter to her anymore that they were aware of the reasons she had run from them the night before and why she was leaving prematurely.

She had spent the night tossing and turning and wondering how she could have been so foolish as to fall in love with Axel Lakeside. What on earth had possessed her, to get involved with him in the first place, was something that had kept her awake for most of the night.

She was never that careless – had always been professional. But from the very beginning, her conduct had been in question. She had felt the attraction from the first time she met him, and it had only increased with each passing moment.

She had further compounded the problem, by getting involved with his family. Nothing was wrong with accepting the invitation to dinner, but she had been drawn to the two women and felt herself wondering what it would be like to be part of the family.

She had also been drawn to the town where he grew up. The people and the hospitality she had been shown had made her feel at home. She who had sworn that small towns were not for her, had found herself chatting with the locals and warming up to them.

It was her duty to flesh out a story and go at it from different prospectives, but this time it had become personal. She had fallen in love, and she had fallen hard. She had also been irresponsible.

They had made love without using anything. Although she highly doubted that she was carrying his seed, she was startled, and ashamed to admit that she was wishing for it.

At least he would be compelled to see her again.

But was that something she wanted? To trap a man into being with her? Shaking her head, she went straight to the kitchen to make some tea. The car ride from the cottage to the airport had been nostalgic. She had not said goodbye to anyone except Caitlin and Cathy.

She had slowed down at the town square and passed the park where the bonfire had been held. She had also passed his unfinished house and had stopped for a minute to stare at the imposing structure. Was he going to be living here? She wondered achingly. Memories of their lovemaking had left her weepy and angry.

Plopping down on a stool, she rubbed her hands over her face and realized how tired she was. She had the article to finish, but her heart was no longer in the project.

She felt broken and used up as if she had been through several marathons and came out the loser. She had not alerted anyone that she was back and would take the day to try and recover. She would go and see her dad and sit with him for a bit.

But for now, she wanted to be alone to nurse her broken heart. And to decide where to go from here. Axel Lakeside was not worth a minute more of her tears, even though she could feel it threatening again. She had been away for a week, but it felt as if she had been gone for months.

The shrill sound of the kettle roused her from her inertia and propelled her from the stool. Suddenly the prospect of drinking tea was no longer appealing.

*****

"Dad! You have been ill, and you never said a word to me?" Ellie hustled into the bedroom, dismayed to see him lying in bed. She had called his phone to alert him that she was back, only to hear the weariness in his voice.

She had made record time getting here. He looked as if he had lost some weight and the nurse, she spoke to at the nursing station had informed her that he had hardly been eating.

"Nothing to worry about. "He looked sheepish as he stared at her. "Just a stupid bug and my diabetes has been acting up. It's not COVID.' He assured her quickly.

"I know. Nurse Grainger told me that it was a nasty cold that is going around." She had brought him some soup and some over-the-counter cough drops that were safe for him to take.

"Would you like something to drink? A glass of water? You need to get your electrolytes up. I…"

"Sit." He pointed to the edge of the bed and then towards the table laden with energy drinks, bottles of water and a half-finished bowl of soup. "I am well taken care of. I want to wrap you up in my arms and welcome you back properly, but I would not like to pass on the bug.

Even though the nurse said I am no longer contagious, I don't want to take the chance." His eyes studied her face curiously and what he saw there had him frowning.

"What is it sweetie?"

Lowering herself into the chair, instead of the bed, she shook her head and produced a bright smile.

"Nothing. Just tired."

"Nuh Uh." He shook his head as he continued to stare at her. "I know weariness because I have been going through a spell because of this damned cold. You look sad as if you lost your best friend. What happened at that place?

The interview did not go as well as you thought?" His frown deepened. "Honey, I have confidence in you and you…" He broke off in alarm when she covered her face with her hands and started crying.

"Oh, good Lord." Easing himself up against the pillows and reached for her arms to pull her against him. Resisting the urge to curl up on the bed next to him, she buried her face in his chest and let the tears flow.

In her subconscious, she realized dimly that she should not be burdening him with her problems, because he was just recovering from an illness and knowing how he was, he would be worried sick about her. But she had been bottling up her misery since last night and it needed an outlet.

His hands roved over back soothingly. He did not say a word, did not ask questions, but waited patiently until her tears had turned into hiccups.

"I am sorry." She whispered, keeping her head buried on his chest. "Your shirt is soaked," She tried to pull out of his arms, but he was not having any of it.

"I am not going to melt or die from the deluge." Tucking one hand under her chin, he studied her tear-streaked cheeks. "I do believe this is the first time I have ever seen you cry.

Yes, when you were a child and skinned your knees scaling that tree, you had tears brightening your beautiful eyes, but even then, when you were in a great deal of pain, you refused to utter a peep. What's wrong honey? Or should I hazard a guess? You met a man, and he broke your heart. Is that it?"

She curled her fingers around his wrist and felt calm and in control for the first time since she discovered that Axel had left. "I did something stupid." She admitted wryly.

"No!" He shook his head decisively. "Never stupid. You are the smartest and strongest woman I know. And there is nothing foolish about giving our hearts to someone- worthy or not. Who is this undeserving individual?"

She laughed and felt the pressure lifting off her chest.

"It doesn't matter. I fell hard. I knew he did not want a relationship but kept hoping he would change his mind."

"Are you sure he hasn't? You are a beautiful woman sweetie, and I am not just saying that because you are my daughter. A man would have to have his brain cells removed from his body, he would have to have had his eyes taken clean from his face, for him to be able to resist you."

"Oh, dad." She whispered, lifting her head to kiss on the lips. "You certainly know how to make a girl feel wanted and special."

"You are indeed both of those things and more." Using the pad of his thumb, he wiped the tears away, a whimsical expression on his face. "I spent years missing out on your childhood because I allowed Eleanor to dictate the terms of my leaving.

We both suffered as a result and it's something I am finding it very difficult to forgive myself for. You are the most important person in my life, barring none. You are beautiful, kind, and sweet and I am so damn proud of you that my friends here are getting fed up with my constant mention of you." He smiled at her.

"I keep asking myself what I ever did to deserve a daughter like you and am still waiting for the answer." His expression sobered. "This man is a fool, and I would hope that he would realize what he is missing out on before it's too late." His eyes narrowed. "Is he worthy of you?"

"He is hardworking and confident." She shook her head sadly. "You would like him dad. But there are issues he is not prepared to deal with and I…," she blinked at the fresh spate of tears burning the back of her eyes.

"Anyway, talking to you about it has lessened the misery. And I have spent enough time on my own sorry and miserable love life. I want to talk about you and get you a fresh shirt." She pulled out of his arms and went to closet to select a baby blue cotton shirt with a crest on the pocket.

"Ellie…"

"No dad," She shook her head as she handed him the shirt. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." She told him firmly.

*****

"Cathy, is everything okay?" Axel had just stepped out of the bathroom and was toweling his hair dry when he realized his phone was ringing. He had cowardly been sending text messages to them and pretending that he was too busy to make a call.

He was not pretending to be busy – he was busy, but he did not want to hear, especially from his mother, how much he had messed up and what he had done.

He spent his nights recalling the memorable and distinctive times he had spent with her. He did not need any reminders. He knew she was no longer in River Glades, because Cathy had said so in one of her numerous texts.

"It's mom."

His bowels went weak, and he had to lower himself on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?" He rasped.

"She went to the doctor's today." His hand gripped the edge of the sheets.

"And?"

"I think you should come home."

"Cathy, I don't have time to play games. What the hell is going on?"

He heard when she drew a shaky breath and felt as if he was drowning.

"She…," she paused, and he waited with bated breath. "She felt a lump in her breast and started feeling some pains over the last few days."

His head dropped between his shoulders as if the weight of it was more than he could stand. Losing his mother was not an option. Closing his eyes, he found himself silently praying. He had never been religious.

The circumstances of his life had made him cynical and unbelieving. He did not believe in divine intervention or a God who would allow a man to walk out on his wife and two small kids and left them to starve or fend for themselves.

He had not been to services in a long time even though his mother and sister were devout Baptists and never missed a service. But now he would trade everything he had just to make her better.

"What are they saying?" He asked hollowly.

"They are going to run some more tests, but it's confirmed. She has breast cancer."

"I am on my way." He hung up before she could answer and just sat there staring at the wall of his Paris pied a' terre. He had been traveling since he left River Glades.

William had persuaded him to spend three days in Texas meeting with his lawyers to finalize the handing over of the property to him.

He had left there and stopped in Houston to visit an old flame but had left without accepting her invitation to stay the night. He had left there to go to Tuscany, to check on a small vineyard he had invested in.

He was trying to outrun his misery but refused to accept that.

His mother was ill. Cancer. A shudder ran through his body and galvanized him into action. He was not going to settle for that diagnosis. He was no longer the poor insignificant boy of the past.

He had resources, knew people and money had a way of whipping people into action. He was going to make certain his mother got the best treatment money can buy.

*****

"You shouldn't have bothered him." Caitlin was not used to being tired, but over the last few days she had been feeling drained. It was Cathy who had insisted on taking her to get checked out and she had gone reluctantly.

"Are you serious?" Cathy was fit to be tied and was so scared, she had no idea what to do with herself. Her mother had obviously been having symptoms for more than a few weeks now and had kept it to herself.

"Mom, this is not some garden variety cold or flu virus. It's cancer and the doctor said it's spreading rapidly."

Caitlin plucked at the baby blue velvet robe she had donned as soon as she came home from the doctors. Her appetite was nonexistent these days and she was so lethargic, she could not even stir herself to go and tend to her beloved flowers.

The weather was getting so unseasonably cold that it was not prudent for her to venture outside. And she was feeling her age.

"Doctors are alarmists. They tend to make things seem worse than they really are." Her lips trembled slightly. "I am not going to be beaten by this. Telling Axel is going to worry him needlessly. You should have waited until he comes back before saying anything."

"He would have skinned me alive, and I am more in awe of him than I am of you." Her daughter told her mildly as she sat on the edge of the bed. "Can you manage a bowl of plain broth? I could have the housekeeper whip something up for you."

Caitlin shook her head. "I am not hungry darling, but thanks for the offer. This is the time he needs someone significant in his life."

"Like Ellie."

Caitlin nodded.

"Mom, we are not having any of that talk." Cathy had to make a supreme effort to tamp down the icy fear. She had always seen her mother as strong and indomitable.

When they were children, she had never shirked her responsibilities, but did what she had to do to make certain they were fed and clothed. It might not have been gourmet meals or designer labels or for that matter, even store-bought clothes, but they had been clean and their bellies never empty.

Now lying against the mound of pillows, she looked pale and wan, unlike the woman Caitlin was accustomed to, and it scared the hell out of her. "I need Axel here. He always makes things right."