9. Brad

9

brAD

B rad dropped Josie off at school the next day feeling more and more like he was losing himself.

A view straight out of a Christmas card spread out in front of him. Snow drifted gently onto the lawn of the elementary school, dusting the grass and the old stone building like a sprinkling of powdered sugar. Kids in colorful coats scampered toward each other, smiling and laughing under the bare, silvery branches of the big tree that had been there since he was a kid himself.

Only Josie looked out of place.

He watched his daughter’s small form trudging off toward the doors of the school, not looking around at the snow, not even turning her head when another kid waved at her.

Was this the right decision? Do we really belong here?

And if he was being honest with himself, this feeling that he was making a huge mistake wasn’t just about Josie .

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the expression on Jillian’s face last night when he offered her a job. And he heard the edge in her voice when she told him no for what he thought might have been the very first time since the night he laid eyes on her nearly a decade ago.

Did she know what I really wanted to say to her?

He was pretty sure she had known exactly what he had been about to say. And he was also pretty sure she was kind of offended about it.

I won’t stay for that.

Her words echoed in his head.

It pained him that he couldn’t seem to do anything right for the two people who mattered most to him.

Glancing at his watch, he tried to imagine how to fill the hours that stretched out before him now. His mom was going to bring Josie back to him after school since she had to be in town for something else, so he wouldn’t even have that errand to look forward to.

He got back in his car and started off in the general direction of home, wondering if Jillian would be there, but guessing that after last night, she would most likely make herself scarce today. And that was probably better for both of them.

What he really needed to do was get in touch with Sloane Greenfield and sign the lease on Amanda Luckett’s place. But with Josie so unhappy, he hated to further cement the move by renting an office.

And he didn’t really want to meet with Amanda again. It was clear yesterday that she might be open to something more than a professional relationship. He’d been out of the dating world for a long time, but he wasn’t blind. And there was certainly nothing wrong with her. But as much as he wanted to, he felt nothing for the woman from his past. He’d spent a whole lunch with her gazing into his eyes and smiling at him encouragingly, and it hadn’t set off the tiniest spark in his heart.

Yet last night all Jillian had to do was innocently offer him a mug of tea, and he’d been ready to confess his undying love to her.

Of course he had chickened out in a big way, but for the right reason—because he cared about her. And what she wanted most in the world, he couldn’t give her.

I can’t give her what she wants. I can’t make Josie happy…

But it hit him suddenly that there was one thing he could do for Josie. Putting on his turn signal, he pulled a quick U-turn and headed back toward town. He stopped at the bank to use the cash machine, and then hopped back in the car and headed for what he hoped was the place he was meant to go this morning.

By the time he got to his destination his mood had improved, and he was whistling along with “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” on the radio . He parked out front of the animal shelter, and headed to the front, smiling at the Christmas decorations. The door was locked, so he pressed the button for the bell and stepped back to wait.

A moment later, it opened and a familiar figure stepped out.

“Brad Williams,” Helena Fox said cheerfully. “I heard you were home again. Good to see you.”

“Hi, Mrs. Fox,” Brad said, glad that the shelter director remembered him. “Yes, Josie and I are living in one of the cottages over at my parents’ place.”

“And now you have space for a pet?” she guessed.

“And now we have space for a dog,” he agreed. “But I thought I’d better come see you on my own. Josie is liable to fall in love with the first pup she sees.”

“A girl after my own heart,” Helena said with a big smile. “I’m going to have you come on in, but there’s a lady here with a dog she needs to surrender, so I’ll just have you wait while I help her. I had the door locked so no one came in without knowing what was going on. She’s really upset, unfortunately.”

“Not a problem,” Brad said. “Do you want me to wait out here?”

“It’s too cold for all that,” Helena said.

He followed her inside and down a hall to a waiting room. The door to the office was open, and inside he could see an older lady wiping her eyes with a tissue, a German Shepherd sitting beside her chair, his chin on her knee, as if he were commiserating.

“I’m sorry about that Lois,” Helena said, heading back in.

“Do you need to help the other person?” the lady asked softly.

“He’s here to talk about adopting a dog,” Helena said gently. “And he’s in no hurry, so we’re going to take all the time we need.”

“Does he want to meet Moose?” the lady asked.

“Oh,” Helena said. “I haven’t really talked with him about what he’s looking for. ”

“It would be so nice if Moose could go right home without being here too long,” the lady said.

Helena’s eyes went to Brad, and he nodded and got up right away.

“Chances aren’t good that this is a match,” Helena explained. “Brad will probably want to think about it. Come on in, Brad.”

He stepped into the office and gave the lady a gentle smile.

“Brad,” she said, eyeing him in surprise. “Are you Annabelle Williams’s boy?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “Are you Mrs. Lois Detton?”

“Now how did you remember me?” she asked, smiling through her tears. “I haven’t seen you since you were a teenager.”

“My mother said you were the best book sale volunteer she ever had,” Brad told her truthfully. “She said you’d read just about everything, and you always knew how to categorize them.”

“Oh, isn’t that just too much?” Mrs. Detton said, smiling at Helena in a pleased way.

“Well, it’s really nice to see you again,” Brad told her. “And you have a beautiful dog.”

“Isn’t he?” Mrs. Detton said, her eyes moving rapturously to Moose. “Are you looking for a nice big dog?”

Moose himself was eyeing Brad with interest, his ears pricked up, but still sitting politely next to his mistress. He was actually on the smaller side for a male Shepherd, but he was still substantial, and he looked nice and sturdy .

“I’m looking for a dog for my daughter,” Brad said, still eyeing the dog, whose gaze was so intelligent that it almost seemed like he was listening to them. “She’s always wanted one, and she’s having a hard time adjusting to the idea of this move. I want her to have a companion, and she tells me she’s ready for the responsibility.”

“That’s very nice,” Mrs. Detton said, patting Moose. “But won’t she want a little puppy?”

“No, ma’am,” Brad said. “She told me herself on her way to Pennsylvania that after doing more research, she would rather have an adult dog from a shelter.”

Helena nodded with a pleased expression behind her desk, but didn’t say a word.

“May I?” Brad asked Mrs. Detton, indicating the dog.

Something about the inky black creature was calling to him, and he felt like he had to pat him.

“Oh, he’s a love,” Mrs. Detton said. “Go on.”

“Hey, buddy,” Brad said, crouching to call the dog.

Moose trotted over and sat in front of Brad, his head tilted slightly to one side in a puppyish way.

“How old is he?” he asked, as he reached out to stroke the silky fur on top of Moose’s head. The dog thrust his head up, as if to get the best possible patting.

“He’s four and a half,” Mrs. Detton said. “He turns his head like that because he’s trying to understand your words. It makes him look younger when he does it, that’s all.”

“He’s trying to understand words?” Brad echoed.

“Oh yes,” she replied. “He’s very smart. I’m going to miss him like a child, but I think he would be happy with a bigger family and more to hold his interest. ”

“He’s getting to be too much for you?” Brad asked, worrying about whether the dog caused trouble.

“Oh no,” she said, sounding scandalized. “He’s a perfect angel. But I’m moving in with my daughter in Hollywood, Florida. She lives in a condo, and they don’t allow pets.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Brad said, straightening up.

Moose moved with him, sitting directly on his foot and thrusting his snout up into Brad’s hand in a clear request to continue the patting.

“Would you look at that?” Mrs. Detton said, looking charmed.

Brad gazed down at the dog, chuckling.

Moose’s intelligent brown eyes were fixed on his as he patted him. After a moment, he moved closer to butt Brad in the thigh with his big head, and then leaned against him.

Brad felt a pang of pain in his heart as he took in the fact that the dog realized what was happening to him. It made no sense, but he knew to his bones that the dog was asking him to take him home.

“He’s obviously healthy, smart, well-behaved,” he listed out loud. “He’s neutered and has his shots?”

“Of course,” Mrs. Detton said. “He also eats special food, and no snacks except his special biscuits. I have a whole bag of his food and a box of biscuits in my car that I was going to leave with him.”

“I guess you would need to process my application,” he thought out loud. “And maybe someone else would get priority over us, since we don’t have another pet for him to play with. ”

“But he wants you,” Mrs. Detton said worriedly. “And your lonely little girl needs him.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Helena said softly. “But, Lois, you haven’t signed over the papers to surrender him yet. Right now, he’s still yours and you can adopt him out to whoever you want.”

“Oh,” Mrs. Detton said, looking up at Brad. “I know it’s very quick. Maybe you want a little time to decide? I’m in town for two more days…”

“I don’t need any time,” Brad heard himself say. “If you would allow me to adopt him, I can take him home today, and make Josie the happiest girl in Trinity Falls.”

“Oh, my word,” Mrs. Detton said, tearing up again.

“And we’ll keep you updated about him, if you want,” he told her. “You can call anytime to check in, too.”

She nodded, crying silently as Helena went to her and put an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m all right, dear,” Mrs. Detton said after a moment. “These are happy tears, mostly.”

The rest seemed to zip by in a blur as Helena comforted her friend and then they all talked through Moose’s schedule, feeding, and veterinary care, and even exchanged information in case there were any follow up questions. Before Brad knew it, a leather leash was put in his hand, and he was heading out to the parking lot with the ladies to help get Moose’s food put in his own vehicle.

Moose huffed in the cold, snowy air and gave himself a little shake, but was otherwise docile and alert, a perfect gentleman on his leash. When everything was said and done, Mrs. Detton called Moose to her and bent to pat him and whisper in his big ears .

Brad pulled some bills from his wallet and moved to Helena, handing her the cash he had gotten out for an adoption and neutering fee. He’d brought along almost twice as much as was written on the sign inside since he hadn’t been sure of the cost, but now he was glad.

“What’s this?” Helena asked.

“I assume there’s a rehoming fee and an adoption fee that the shelter missed out on to give us this moment,” he told her. “I don’t want the animals in there to have anything less than they should just because my timing was so great and your heart is so big.”

“You’re a good boy, Brad Williams,” Helena said, taking his donation and patting him on the back. She looked a little bit like she wanted to cry herself.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Mrs. Detton advised Moose with a smile and a wink as she straightened up.

The big dog was still sitting, but he wagged his tail, as if he understood that she was joking.

“Keep in touch,” she called to Brad before heading to her car with Helena in tow.

And then Brad was standing alone in the parking lot with a dog on the end of a leash. It hit him that he had chosen and bonded with this animal all by himself, without Josie having so much as laid eyes on it. But he wasn’t worried.

“She’s going to love you,” he told Moose, knowing somehow that it was true. “Ready to go home?”

The big dog wagged his tail and smiled up at Brad, his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth, like he was telling him to stop being so serious .

Brad couldn’t help smiling back and patting that broad head again.

When he opened one of the doors to the backseat, Moose leaped right in, moving with a surprising grace for such a big dog.

Brad got himself into the car too, and looked in the rearview mirror to see Moose gazing back at him, an expectant expression in his intelligent eyes.

“Yes,” Brad told him. “We’re going home now.”

He drove as carefully as he could on the winding roads home. They would have to get a harness or a crate or something if Moose was going to go on a lot of car trips with them. It suddenly hit him that he never asked if the dog was good in the car, and he glanced in the rearview mirror again, hoping he wasn’t about to see the poor thing get sick.

But Moose was just looking out the window, his mouth open with what Brad could only imagine was a rapturous smile.

“You like going for rides, huh?” he asked.

Moose snapped his mouth closed and tilted his head to the side again, like he was very serious about understanding what Brad wanted.

“It’s all good,” Brad told him. “Good boy.”

Moose panted out a relieved breath and turned his attention to the window again. Brad shook his head and tried to plan out exactly what to do first when they got home.

It was hard not to wonder if Jillian would be there. He knew how happy she would be when she saw that he had made Josie’s dream come true. As he pulled into the homestead, he tried to imagine what she would say when she saw the new family member.

When the SUV was parked, he got out and headed back to get Moose. He was relieved to find that the big dog waited politely for him to take hold of the leash, instead of trying to streak past him and disappear into the trees.

Moose held his snout high, huffing in breaths, like he could taste everything about his new home on the cold air.

“Come on,” Brad told him. “Let’s go find Jillian.”

Moose leaped out, landing without a sound on the ground beside Brad.

He was so well-mannered on the leash that Brad grabbed the big bag of food out of the back too, and swung it over his shoulder before heading down the little path to the house.

“Hey,” he called out when he opened the front door. “Come meet our new roommate.”

But there was no reply, and no sign of Jillian.

Shaking his head, he led the dog into the kitchen and placed the food on the table.

He had no right to expect it, but normally Jillian worked around the house while Josie was at school, putting up holiday decorations, watering plants, or baking cookies. It was strange to come home to a house that really felt empty.

This is how it’s going to be once she goes…

“Oh my goodness, who is this?” her familiar voice cried from the dining room.

Moose wagged his tail and sat down politely to greet her as Brad felt a wave of warmth in his heart at the sight of his favorite grown-up in the world.

“This is Moose,” he told her as she crouched down to pat and croon over the new family member. “I just went to the shelter to find out what we would need to do to get Josie a dog. But there was a lady there trying to surrender him and… well, it all just happened so fast.”

“He’s perfect,” Jillian murmured. “He’s absolutely positively just the right friend for Josie. She’s going to love you, Moose. ”

Moose gave her a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek, making her giggle. And Brad felt another wave of warmth and relief.

“What a spectacular job you did,” Jillian said, rising, one hand still scratching under Moose’s leather collar. “I know you’re not impulsive, but I’m so glad you didn’t let him get away. You can just see how smart he is, perfect for Josie.”

That was true, Josie was incredibly mature for her age, and the dog also seemed to have wisdom beyond his station in life.

“Sorry, I was upstairs when you got home,” Jillian said a little breathlessly, running a hand through her auburn tresses in a way that had his eyes eagerly following its path. “I was talking with the Butlers. They’re so nice.”

Her words hit him like a slap in the face, and for a second he was frozen in place.

“That’s great,” he said after a moment, his voice a little too loud.

“I’m really grateful to you for finding me another job,” she told him. “And it’s not the pay or the fact that the guy is famous that makes me happy. They just seem like nice, down-to-earth people.”

“They are,” Brad agreed, feeling more himself as soon as his thoughts turned to his friends. “I know they’ll be so grateful to have someone knowledgeable and loving to care for the baby.”

The words were bitter in his mouth, but they were sincere. He couldn’t deny her another, better job back in the city. With Josie in school, he probably should have let her go back to having a life of her own long ago.

It was just that he liked coming home to her humming as she tended to dinner or a ficus on the balcony or a little surprise art project for Josie.

“I’ll see about a good place to put a bed for you, Moose,” Jillian said, bending to address the dog, her talk with Brad already forgotten. “And we’ll see if we have some nice bowls for your dinner.”

Brad spent the rest of the morning walking the dog around the homestead and trying to lay out a possible way to use the office space in town if he decided to rent it.

By the time the afternoon came, he wasn’t really able to concentrate anymore. So he and Moose joined Jillian in the kitchen, where she was gathering ingredients for holiday-themed Rice Krispie treats. Josie was due home any minute.

“I can’t wait to see her reaction,” Jillian said, stopping in her tracks to greet Moose, who gamboled over to her like a puppy, flinging himself on his back so that she could rub his belly.

Before his belly rub was finished, Moose jumped back to his feet and cocked his head in the direction of the front door. A few seconds later, the door swung open and Josie trudged in, Brad’s mom behind her with a worried look on her face. But the moment Josie spotted the dog, her expression transformed. She darted forward, letting her school bag fall to the floor, a radiant smile taking over her face.

Moose leapt forward too, landing in a seated position in front of her, tail wagging, mouth open in a happy, panting smile.

“Hi,” Josie said, flinging herself onto the floor and getting right to work patting the big dog. “You’re such a good boy.”

“His name is Moose,” Brad told her softly.

Her eyes met his, filled with hope.

“Yes,” Brad said, his heart pounding. “He’s yours.”

Josie burst into tears and Moose promptly got to work licking her face, as if he had been born for the task.

“Oh, Brad,” Jillian said, her small hand wrapping around his forearm.

She’s happy, he thought to himself. They both are. It doesn’t matter if my heart is breaking.