10. Jillian

10

JILLIAN

J illian stood in line on Saturday afternoon at the Hometown Holiday Celebration. Josie’s hand was tucked into her arm like they were going to a country dance instead of waiting in line for a fire truck ride.

It was probably only the cold that had her snuggled into Jillian’s side. There was still snow on the ground from earlier in the week, and although the sun was shining, it didn’t provide much warmth with the frigid breeze that kept swirling up. But Jillian would take a snuggle any way she could get it. Her time with Josie was coming to an end, and the idea of it had her heart pounding with panic every time she let herself think about it.

She had been having trouble sleeping the past few nights, and honestly hadn’t felt much like celebrating the holiday in town all day.

But she could never say no to Josie, who was excited to complete their second Christmas tradition—getting a photo with Santa Claus. Normally, they got their photo with the department store Santa in the city, but since there didn’t seem to be anything like that in Trinity Falls, the fire engine ride with Santa would have to do.

Brad stood behind them with a friendly smile on his face for all the friends and neighbors who passed. Jillian wondered if she was the only one who could see the tension in his jaw, or sense how stressed he was behind the smile.

“Okey-dokey,” a handsome firefighter told them with a genuine grin. “Ready to get up there?”

Jillian looked up the open ladder on the side of the truck that ended so far above that she could barely see what she would be climbing into, and repressed a shudder of dread. It hadn’t looked so high when they were in the back of the line.

“ Yes ,” Josie squealed.

“You first,” Jillian told her, figuring if she were underneath she could catch Josie if she started to fall.

Josie scrambled up like she was in a race, leaving Jillian to go next.

Please don’t let me get halfway up there and freeze, she prayed. I can’t embarrass Josie.

Taking hold of the sides of the ladder, she kept her eyes down at her feet for every step. It was only when she reached the top that she caught the view over the little town.

“Oh,” she sighed inadvertently as her eyes slid over the little Tudor-style shops, the mini-amphitheater, and the town Christmas tree, which would be lit tonight.

“It’s so pretty,” Josie said, patting a spot next to her for Jillian to sit in. “Isn’t it? ”

“It’s like something out of a storybook,” Jillian said simply.

“What’s like something out of a storybook?” Brad asked as he joined them.

“The town,” Josie said. “Jillian loves it.”

Josie’s eyes were moving between the two of them, her mind obviously working hard. Jillian tried not to smile.

If it were up to her and their little matchmaker, she and Brad would be announcing an engagement by now.

But unfortunately, that wasn’t the way the world worked. Brad was frowning, the tiny telltale line between his eyes telling Jillian he was near a breaking point of frustration.

She honestly wasn’t sure why. He and Josie were right where they wanted to be. She might be having a hard time adjusting at school, but she was an amazing kid and she would have a whole crew of friends in no time. Jillian was sure of that much.

Maybe he was frustrated that Josie’s nanny had invited herself to keep hanging around, but even that was temporary.

She had talked with the Butlers today. Aimee was quiet and reserved but seemed sweet. And Val was every bit the big personality Jillian would have expected from his reputation in the entertainment industry. She wasn’t a fan of his music herself, but she knew he was enthusiastic, talented, and donated time and money to his pet causes with real abandon.

The package they had offered her was generous, and included housing, food, health insurance, and ample time off to continue her studies and go visit Rachel and her family.

Everything should have felt perfect.

But as Josie leaned on her shoulder, Jillian knew that wasn’t the case at all. Perfection was something money couldn’t buy. And as far as she was concerned, it was right here, with a cold and clingy nine-year-old and her grumpy father on top of a giant fire truck that was getting more top heavy with each rider who climbed up, and really felt like it could tip over at any moment.

There might not be rockstars or private apartments, but there could be no perfect for Jillian without the two of them.

“ Ho, ho, ho, ” someone called out as they climbed the ladder.

Josie smiled and waved to the man dressed as Santa. She was a little old to still believe. But she hadn’t asked Jillian or Brad about the tradition, and they hadn’t told her.

I see no need , Brad had said when Jillian mentioned it to him privately. Why not let her stay a child as long as she wants?

Jillian couldn’t have agreed with him more, and was frankly proud of practical Brad for understanding that his mostly practical daughter might like just a little more of the magic of childhood. He was absolutely right that it did her no harm to enjoy every moment of believing, or maybe pretending to believe, in Santa Claus.

“May we have a picture with you?” Jillian remembered to ask before Santa sat down beside them.

“Oh, we don’t really do photos,” Santa said. “We have to keep the truck moving so all the children can have a turn without getting too cold in line.”

“Okay,” Jillian said, though she could feel Josie wilt a little against her.

“ Here we go ,” Santa called out. “ Be sure to wave to everyone as we take our tour through town. ”

The truck took off with a sudden lurch that had Jillian grabbing Brad’s leg.

“Oh,” she said, letting go immediately. “Sorry about that.”

“You’re fine,” he told her gently, grabbing her hand in his and squeezing it briefly. “We’re only going to top out at about three miles an hour.”

“Thanks,” she whispered.

“Jillian is afraid of heights,” Josie said casually.

“What?” Brad asked sharply.

“How did you know?” Jillian asked her.

“I just know,” Josie said, shrugging. “You always take me on rides and down the water slide, but I can tell you don’t like it.”

“Is that true?” Brad demanded.

Jillian shrugged.

“You put a container garden out on the balcony,” he said in disbelief.

“You said you missed the farm,” she said. “I thought it would be nice to have some greenery around.”

“It was incredibly nice,” he said. “But were you scared every minute you were out there?”

She actually had been, but she shook her head.

“Not really,” she told him, not meeting his eyes.

“Merry Christmas ,” Santa called out to the people standing in front of the Co-op Grocer’s.

Parents and grandparents with children waved back, some of the littlest kids jumping up and down with excitement.

The truck turned out of the parking lot onto Columbia, and Jillian reached instinctively for Brad again. She pulled back at the last moment, but he took her hand in his again and held it firmly.

“You’re okay,” he told her. “We won’t go any faster than this and there are only a few more turns.”

Jillian nodded, and felt relieved when he didn’t let go, even though an older lady with a little boy was giving them both a knowing smile that she was pretty sure Brad wouldn’t like if he noticed it.

“We still need a picture with Santa,” Josie whispered worriedly.

“Don’t worry about that,” Brad whispered back, leaning forward to see past Jillian to his daughter. “I’ve got you covered. We’ll wait until they stop in front of the library, and we’ll just grab a quick selfie.”

“Really?” Josie asked.

“Definitely,” Brad assured her. “I’ve been on this fire engine ride every year since I was a little boy. I know all the places where they stop to wave at everyone. And there are always lots of people in front of the library looking for Christmas trees.”

A local farm donated trees to the fire department each year, and the firefighters took shifts selling trees to raise needed funds to maintain the trucks and safety equipment. It was one of the first things Brad had pointed out when they arrived this morning. Josie was already after him to bring a tree home tonight, and Jillian was pretty sure they would, since it was getting awfully close to Christmas.

The firetruck lurched again and the siren went on, causing the children onboard to cheer. They were on Park Avenue now, heading toward the library.

“Moment of truth,” Brad whispered, looking like he was kind of getting a kick out of their illicit plan. “When the truck stops, Josie make your move and Jillian slide over.”

“Make her move?” Jillian echoed.

But Josie was already sliding out from under her arm and onto Santa’s lap, and Brad was crawling out in front, his phone held out like it was the holy grail.

Jillian slid sideways in the still-moving truck until she was smack against the jolly old saint.

“What the heck?” Santa demanded, looking down at the child in his lap.

“Look at me,” Brad reminded them.

“Merry Christmas,” Josie yelled as Jillian turned to Brad.

There was a flash of light and then Brad was crawling back and Josie was slithering out of Santa’s lap to sit between Jillian and her father.

“Not cool, Williams,” Santa said in a less than jolly voice.

“Sorry about that,” Brad said, not sounding sorry at all. “It’s my daughter’s tradition.”

“Well, if you try it again you’re going to have a whole new tradition,” Santa warned him. “The tradition of getting off the firetruck early in front of the whole town.”

“Noted,” Brad said.

“Santa called him Williams ,” the little boy across from them whispered loudly to his grandmother. “Does he know him?”

“Santa knows all the boys and girls,” his grandma replied. “I think he might put Brad Williams on his naughty list.”

The boy’s eyes got really big, and Jillian had to try again not to smile.

“Don’t worry,” Santa told the boy. “I like to give people second chances.”

They all laughed at that, and Jillian did her best to soak in the joy of the moment.