36. Gilbert

thirty-six

Gilbert

*FLORA*

W ith the aftermath of the attack, basically everything was dumped onto Elden, because his loser of a father didn’t find it relevant enough to return back home. I have no time to think much about my father or mother, what it means for me or who or what I am. Vincent and Calvin help day and night, neither of them complaining or batting an eye whenever Elden has another issue he needs them to tackle. I might have been skeptical of Calvin at first, but I need to give credit where credit is due: he gives this his all. The warriors at the borders are already implementing his strategies and tools.

That’s why I am even more surprised to see him approach me a couple of days after our talk. I am working together with Emilia and Geneva, to prepare me for my work as luna, when he seeks me out. “Flora,” Calvin says. “May I have a word?”

“Of course.” I get up to follow him, curious as to what he needs from me. Once we are a safe distance from the other two women, he hands me a sheet of paper.

“I didn’t know if Emilia and Elder Geneva knew,” he says, “so I thought it would be better to hand it to you in private.”

I gaze at the paper, my eyes widening when I see the name written down on it. Gilbert Robertson. “You found him?” I gape.

“It was less difficult than I thought it would be,” Calvin explains. “I dug around a bit in the pack and found a former schoolmate of his. Seems like your father was very popular with the ladies back in the day, but also with some of his male peers. Obviously, the man I talked to had no idea where he had left to. I assume your grandmother asked around his friends in the pack too.”

“I think Grandma asked all of his friends of that time,” I say. “Also, those from other packs.”

“I am sure she did,” Calvin says. “But I bet she didn’t ask his ex-girlfriend.”

I stare at him. “What?”

“I don’t know when and how your parents met, but before he met your mother, he had a girlfriend. It seems like they broke up when your father met your mother, but I don’t know any details. Well, I tracked her down.”

How did he even get the idea that she would know something? I would have never thought of contacting his ex! And Grandma probably didn’t either. I don’t even know if she knew he had an ex.

“They split amicably,” Calvin explains. “That’s what one of his former buddies told me.”

“How did you find out?” I ask, stunned. “No one told my grandmother anything!”

“I coincidentally met him in a bar,” Calvin says. “And when alcohol is involved, the tongue gets loose.”

Is he implying he stalked that guy and then filled him with alcohol so that he spilled the beans? His strategies are unorthodox at best, but I have to admit he gets results.

“I know what you are thinking,” Calvin says. “That I am working dirty and being too sly.”

“Yes,” I say. “But I also just thought that sometimes we need to be sly and work dirty. As long as you don’t overstep, I don’t see anything wrong with it.” I pause. “So?”

“Well, he told me all about your father’s ex, and how she really loved him but let him go. Well, you get the general picture. Seems like she didn’t get over him though.”

I stare at the sheet of paper, while realization slowly dawns on me. “He got back with her?”

“I don’t know for sure,” he says. “But I know that he went to her when he left Silverlake.”

“Where is he now? Is he still with her?”

Calvin stays quiet, awkwardly so. His face devoid of any emotions, but at the same time, he looks like he doesn’t quite know what to tell me. He doesn’t need to say anything. I know without hearing it. Another small crack to my heart.

I swallow thickly. “What now?” I ask quietly.

“The woman’s name is Grace,” he says. “I talked to her, and she is ready to meet you if you want to. She told me to make sure to tell you that things aren’t as they look.”

“Is this her address?” I ask, pointing at the paper.

He nods. “She is fostering young, orphaned wolves,” he says. “So, maybe you should be careful when you go there. Not that I am in any position to stop you from doing what you need to do.”

I stare at him, annoyed. “Do you think I will go there and kill her?” When he shrugs, I just groan. “I am the future Luna of Silverlake Pack. I will never bring that kind of disgrace over my pack, my mate and my future position. Even if she was my father’s mistress, she didn’t force anything on him. He made his own decisions. All I want to know is the truth. And if she is ready to tell me the truth, it’s reason enough for me to meet her with at least some respect.”

“Interesting,” Calvin muses.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, just… that this wasn’t what I expected,” he says. “Do you want me to accompany you? I know the alpha will feel more at ease if you aren’t going alone.”

He is right, I promised Elden I would take someone with me. But I don’t think Calvin is the right person to take along either. I turn around, gazing back at the office I just left. “I think I would like to take Geneva with me,” I say. “She is trustworthy and has the right amount of sensitivity for that situation.”

To my surprise, Calvin looks relieved.

“Why do you look so happy?” I ask.

“I just think my strength is better used here,” he says. “Spending a whole evening talking to Grace sounds like a waste of time.”

I sigh inwardly. But Calvin is the way he is, and I doubt he will ever see the error in how he talks about people he deems useless . He also isn’t too big on keeping someone’s feelings in mind or being thoughtful. Well, his strengths clearly lie elsewhere, and I need to try not to be a hater.

“Thank you for your help, Calvin,” I say, instead of complaining or showing my annoyance. I am going to be luna sooner than I want to, and there is no avoiding it. It’s Elden’s and my fate, and as such, I can’t always let my emotions rule me. I need to find a healthy balance. Calvin is Elden’s assistant, his beta, and to that point, he is doing good work. He doesn’t need to do any extra work for me. I will find my own people.

Not even a day later, Geneva and I make it to Grace’s place, where I spend an hour standing in front of her cottage. Calvin verified and set the date swiftly for me, and it seems like Grace also wanted to be done with it. My bravado is all gone now that I am about to meet the woman my father loved more than my mother and me.

Geneva doesn’t say anything and instead gives me the time I need. A warrior has driven us, one of the best guards. He is not going to come inside with us and will wait in the car. That is if I ever find the courage to go inside.

“This is so ridiculous,” I mutter.

“It isn’t,” Geneva says. “It’s incredibly difficult. Take your time, sweetheart.”

I haven’t told her who my mother is, but I did tell her that this is the woman my dad went to after he left me behind. Why did he go? Why did he never reach out to me or Grandma? Grandma was so worried about him, and it broke her heart that her only child wouldn’t even talk to her anymore.

Only one way to find out, Celeste says.

She is right, but it’s so hard to drag my body forward and ring the bell. I don’t have to do that, thankfully, because the door opens suddenly and three little girls run outside, screaming and laughing. They are carrying a ball with them and run towards a huge field where more children are waiting for them.

I turn my attention back to the house, suddenly seeing her in the doorframe. Grace is nothing like I imagined her to be. In my mind she was a femme fatale, a voluptuous woman with curves to kill for, but instead, she is a tall woman with short brown hair, a kind face and lines of worry around her lips and eyes.

She looks so normal, and nice.

“You… you must be Flora?" she breaks the silence. “I am Grace.”

I take a deep breath. “Thank you for having us,” I say.

Just like that, the ice is broken, and I find myself walking towards her. “Before you come inside, I want you to know that I wasn’t your father’s affair,” she tells me.

“You weren’t?” I ask, surprised.

“It’s true that I was in love with him, but I didn’t take him back. It wasn’t like that,” she pauses. “Why don’t you come inside? And you too - Elder Geneva, was it? Beta Calvin told me you would come.”

“Yes,” Geneva smiles and shakes Grace’s hand. “It’s very gracious of you to do this today.”

“It’s nothing,” Grace says. “And it’s what Gilbert would have wanted.”

She leads us inside her house. Everywhere are signs of children. She isn’t marked though, and I wonder why she never found her mate. Goddess, hopefully Dad wasn’t her mate, just to reject her and be with my mother! But I don’t think my mother would have accepted him if he had.

Once in her living room, Grace prepares tea for us and serves it with cookies and sandwiches. The cookies are colorful with sprinkles and funny forms. “I baked them with the kids yesterday,” she chuckles.

Both Geneva and I take some tea and cookies, before we both eye her expectantly. By now, I am just curious. I thought I would be angry, but she doesn’t look like she was lying, and she certainly doesn’t look like someone who would steal another woman’s man and keep him from his child.

“Gilbert came to me one day,” she starts her story. “I knew he had met a woman and that he’d settled down with her and even had a child. That’s why I was surprised to see him. He told me that his wife had passed, and that she left him with the child. He kept saying he couldn’t do it without her, and that he was not made to be a father and give his daughter what she needed.”

“What did you say?” Geneva asks when I remain silent, still trying to digest what she just told us.

“I told him to go back,” she says. “It’s one thing that he would have wanted me as his chosen mate but it’s entirely another if he leaves his child behind. I am not that type of woman. That’s what I told him. Gilbert wasn’t in love with me anymore, Flora. He didn’t want me, not really. He just thought I would be the easy way out. So, he left again.”

“He left from here?” I ask, stunned.

“Yes, and at first, I believed he had returned to his child, but then I found out from a mutual friend that he hadn’t. Instead, he was hiding in another pack. The mutual friend told me that Gilbert was constantly watching his daughter – you – in secret, but didn’t dare to reach out to his mother anymore.”

“What an idiot,” I mutter. “Grandma would have forgiven him easily, and made sure he would have had a relationship with me.”

“That’s what I told him, too,” Grace says. “I went with said friend to see for myself what Gilbert was doing. Gilbert broke down when he saw me. He… he really had changed. He looked grey and sickish. Guilt must have eaten him alive. He told me that a witch helped him take on another name and scent, and to live in another pack without anyone being able to track him. Our mutual friend was the only one who knew, and well, me. The friend reached out to me because he was worried.” Grace gets up, walks to a shelf and takes a box out of it. “Gilbert was an idiot, but I think the loss of his chosen mate, your mother, sent him into some sort of shock, maybe even a psychosis. I am no expert, but the Gilbert I knew certainly wouldn’t have left his child. I think he had a real breakdown.”

“It sounds like it,” Geneva says quietly.

“And then?” I ask.

“I spent a whole week talking to him. I don’t know how to explain it, but he had completely lost it. I was actually getting worried. It was as if he was losing his mind.”

“Maybe losing his mate and being separated from his child did that to him,” I say sadly. “If only he would have stayed…”

“My friend and I believed the same,” she says. “And after days, when he finally had a moment of clarity in his psychosis, we convinced him to return.”

Geneva and I exchange a surprised gaze. “He… agreed?” I ask.

“Yes, as I said, he had a moment of clarity, a moment where he truly realized what he was doing and what was happening to him.” She takes the box and hands it to me. “The proof is here. He had a journal at the time. He used to write in it at the beginning when he was still sane and later, in his moments of clarity. It’s full of regret and love for you.”

“Don’t tell me, he didn’t return because-“ I can’t even finish the sentence.

Grace’s eyes gloss over in sadness. “Our friend was driving, and I can’t remember what happened, not exactly, just that there was an attack and the car started to overturn. We dropped down somewhere, but I can’t remember where. When I woke up again, years had passed.”

“What!?” Geneva exclaims. “You mean, you were in a coma? For that long? But your wolf should have healed you a lot faster!”

“She should have, but she was too weak. We were rejected shortly before. My mate claimed I wasn’t good enough for him. He wanted someone of a higher rank, someone more beautiful,” Grace says shortly, clenching her fingers around the hem of her shirt. “When I woke up, I had no memory at first. My ex-mate was with me, but obviously, I didn’t know who he was. My memory slowly returned, and I remembered everything. Then, my luna told me about what had happened, and that my friend and Gilbert passed that day. However, the problem was that they all believed his fake identity-”

“So, Flora and Hazel never found out,” Geneva concludes. “And Hazel probably didn’t feel the bond to him rip due to the witch who put a spell on him.”

Grace nods. “It took a while for me to understand everything and get my full memory back. I wanted to reach out to someone in Silverlake Pack, but Beta Calvin reached me first.”

It’s silent around us. I feel my heart beating faster, my throat burning, but I want to keep it together. This woman here has suffered for my family, despite not needing to. She could have just turned her back on my father and lived a peaceful life, but she didn’t. I can’t cry now, not here, not now. Keep it together, Flora. I take a few shaky breaths to calm my heartbeat down and to force the tears burning in my eyes to dry. Then, in a spontaneous gesture, I reach out my hand to touch Grace’s. She relaxes her grip, looking up at me in surprise. “Thank you for watching out for my father and for making him do the right thing, even if at the end, he died before he could return to me. And just for the record: if my father had taken you as his chosen mate, I would have been happy to have you as a stepmother.”

Tears fill her eyes, and she looks away.

“What about your former mate?” Geneva asks quietly. “You said he was there when you woke up.”

“He regretted his decision,” she says. “He claims he wants me and that he will wait for how long I need to make a decision.”

“And what do you want?” Geneva asks gently.

“I don’t know,” she says. “For now, I just want to be there for the children.”

“Do you know where my father is buried?” I ask.

She nods and scribbles something on a note before handing it to me. The conversation evens out eventually. There is not much more Grace can tell us, and I don’t want her to relive her own trauma again. She didn’t do anything, yet she was caught up in this whole tragedy.

Geneva and I step outside, both of us taking a lungful of fresh air. Dad died in such a cruel and tragic way. If Mom had her strength left, she would have saved him earlier, she would have known where he was. But she couldn’t. And Grandma... I don't know why exactly she couldn't feel her son dying, but I guess Geneva is right. Maybe it was because of the spell my dumb father had cast on himself, but she died thinking he had abandoned us all. She died without ever learning the truth!

Why did it have to be like that? I can feel tears dripping down my face and onto my hands. Geneva wraps me in her arms, rocking me gently.

Why did I have to lose them all? How is that fair?

It’s not fair!