Chapter Nine

If it hadn't been for the loud growl of his stomach, followed up by my stomach making complaints of its own, we might have sat there for hours.

Wiping the last of the tears from my face, I pushed away from him and stood. "It sounds like I better find something for us to eat before your wolf decides to eat me."

"Only if you ask nicely," Beckett laughed, and the low rumble had my heart doing cartwheels.

"No dessert unless you eat everything on your plate!" I retorted, trying to seem confident despite my burning cheeks.

Beckett's eyes sparkled, and he pushed to his feet. "Then what are you waiting for? Let's eat!"

The teasing banter helped to ease some of the awkwardness from the gravity of our conversation. I was thankful for the reprieve, especially since I knew the full weight of the conversation and its implications would hit me again as soon as I stopped moving and laid down to rest.

Because he was going to say no. I'd seen it on his face. Beckett wasn't callous, and I wouldn't hold his decision against him. I'd seen the pain it had caused him to refuse my request. Strange as it was, he cared for me, and not just as someone to have a quickie with.

His gentleness when he soothed me, and the sorrow swimming in his dark green eyes told me I mattered to him. And that knowledge made my heavy heart a little lighter.

That wouldn't keep my brain from spinning out of control as I tried to come up with a backup plan—a task I knew was futile. If there had been another option, I wouldn't have kidnapped an alpha.

He was my last hope.

My life's work, my legacy, my desire to help people long after I was gone… all of it would vanish without his help.

If that wasn't depressing enough, I hated knowing my request had hurt him. In my head, I'd gone over every possible outcome to my captive alpha plan, most of which had ended in my death at the hands of a wolf, but it had never occurred to me that he might start caring about me.

I knew it would bring up painful memories of Idrie, something I couldn't avoid, but the sadness I'd seen on Beckett's face had been for me.

Swallowing hard, I opened the fridge door and tried to think of anything other than the unfair situation we were both stuck in.

I took out thick steaks, bacon, and butter, placing them on the counter. Then I searched the cabinets until I found a pot, pan, and cutting board.

Pulling out an onion and several potatoes from the grocery bag on the counter, I grabbed a knife and began cutting the onion.

Beckett moved to stand near me. He studied my tear-streaked face, then looked down at the onion.

A small smile played around the corners of his mouth. "Here. Let me."

I didn't argue and slid the knife and cutting board toward him. Turning down help when I was exhausted would be stupid. And aside from my actions over the past 48 hours, I wasn't an idiot.

Grabbing the cast iron pan, I put it on the stove to heat up. Beckett was quiet, but I could swear I felt his gaze on me. As I added butter to the pan and lowered the heat, Beckett cleared his throat. Taking a deep breath, I braced myself for his rejection.

But he surprised me. "You know, you didn't have to cook for me. We could have just ordered a pizza from the restaurant we passed a few miles before the turnoff for the cabin."

I glanced over my shoulder at him, surprised by the offer. "You mean five pizzas. Remember, I've studied how much wolves eat," I teased. "Besides, it's the least I can do after everything." I waved one hand, gesturing in a way I intended to indicate the mess I'd made of his life.

Thankfully, he didn't patronize me and tell me it's nothing. "Well, I appreciate it."

The warmth and gentleness in his tone caused hope to flare in my chest. Maybe he wasn't dead set against my plan after all. Heck, maybe after thinking about it, he'd say yes.

When he finished cutting the onions, I scraped them off the cutting board and into the buttery pan. My mouth watered as they sizzled and released their delicious aroma into the air.

Beckett had turned his attention to peeling the potatoes. A fleeting sense of contentment settled on me and I smiled.

He hummed a little tune under his breath and I tried to place it. "What song is that?"

"Nothing," he said quickly.

Too quickly.

"Hang on…" I squinted at him. "Are you humming the song about baby sharks?"

"Maybe," he grunted.

Oh, he absolutely was!

"It's a catchy tune." The big bad wolf's skin darkened as he blushed. "Don't you dare judge me."

With herculean effort, I kept from laughing and arranged my face into an emotionless mask. "This is a judgment-free zone," I declared, using the wooden spatula to gesture toward the kitchen, then stirred the onions.

After he finished chopping the potatoes, I dumped them into the pot of boiling water. "Oh! I had something I meant to show you." I smacked my forehead and strode toward the living room.

Beckett followed me, and the moment we were both in the main room, I abruptly turned to face him.

"This room isn't a judgment-free zone. Baby sharks? Really, Becks?" I dissolved into giggles as he scowled and took several steps back until he was standing in the kitchen.

"I'm never leaving this room," he growled in annoyance, even though his eyes sparkled in amusement.

I laughed harder, and eventually, he joined in. For that brief moment, I was able to pretend my life was normal. I wasn't sick or dying. And I could pretend I was simply spending an evening with a handsome man I was attracted to—a man I was finding it far too easy to imagine building a life with.

Except it was just a cruel illusion. But what was the harm in savoring it while it lasted?

He stirred the onions, and I rejoined him in the kitchen.

"I bet you have worse taste in music." He narrowed his eyes in my direction.

I shook my head. "Classical all the way. You can't make fun of opera or orchestra music without looking bad yourself."

He seemed to reconsider. "Fine. Explain the sparkly vampire books in the trunk of your SUV."

I shrugged. "You don't have to worry. I'm team werewolf all the way." Chuckling, I added, "I'm pretty sure my diary even detailed my crush on him. I nearly died of cringe when I reread those entries last year."

"Good. Just remember, werewolves rule and vampires drool." He continued stirring the onions, and I moved to his side and placed the steaks in with the onions and butter.

"But isn't drooling a canine thing?" I bumped his hip with mine.

His arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against him faster than my brain could process.

"I only drool around you," he purred, his lips brushing my ear. "You know what else wolves do?"

"Wh-what?" I stammered, struggling to think while he was touching me.

He leaned back and smirked at me. "Lick things we think are yummy."

"Beckett!" I yelped.

His tongue slid across his bottom lip. "And you look absolutely delicious."

"Don't you dare!" I warned him.

Pushing free of his hold, I took a slow step back, as though trying not to excite a wild animal.

Beckett's eyes began to glow, and without warning, he lunged for me. I squealed, running around the island and into the living room. He grabbed me from behind, then turned so that he fell onto the couch and pulled me down on top of him.

I squirmed, but with his arm around my waist, all I managed to accomplish was rolling so that my chest was pressed against his. Our eyes locked, and Beckett used his free hand to push my hair over my shoulder.

Knowing what was coming, I squealed again and wiggled harder. His tongue darted out, sliding playfully up my neck.

"Ahhh!" I gasped… mostly from shock, but also from the electricity that zapped through me.

"Mmm," Beckett hummed, his fingers sinking into my hair and gently angling my head to give him access to my neck.

This time when he licked me, the playfulness was gone. Slowly, his tongue trailed up my neck, teasing my skin and lighting a fire in my belly.

"Ohhh," I whimpered, closing my eyes to enjoy the sensations he was stirring in me.

His chest rumbled with a snarl that was more beast than man, and I went completely still. I'd heard animals make that sound before—on nature documentaries that showed large predators defending their kills and meals.

What in the knick-knack-paddy-whack was wrong with him? I'd only been joking about his wolf eating me, but now I wondered if it was possible for Beckett to lose control of the wolf. If that happened, would I be in danger?

His tongue disappeared as his lips took its place. We lay there, chest to chest, his left arm wrapped around my waist like a steel band, and his right hand still buried in my hair as his mouth kissed and sucked every inch of my neck.

There was a primal possessiveness to the way he held me and I wondered how he could be so rough yet so gentle at the same time. His chest continued to vibrate with snarls and growls, leaving me confused and unsure of what was going on.

I should've been terrified by the shift in his behavior, but instead, it excited me, and I wanted more. I wanted him to rip my clothes off as his mouth explored my entire body.

My greatest desire in life shifted to wishing he would treat me like a human-sized lollipop.

His left hand slid under my shirt to rest on the bare skin of my lower back, and his erection pressed against my stomach. My breathing was coming in ragged pants, and my temperature spiked.

How could he turn me on within a matter of minutes? I'd always enjoyed sex, but never had I felt the desperate need his touch created in me.

Beckett stiffened and drew in a harsh breath. A heartbeat later, our positions had been reversed, and I lay beneath him as his body pressed mine into the couch.

Opening my eyelids, I stared into his glowing green orbs.

"Lilou." His voice was rough, as though his vocal cords had been damaged.

I said nothing and waited to see what he would do. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long. Gripping the bottom of my shirt, he pushed it up, baring my stomach and bra-clad breasts to his hungry gaze.

Goosebumps rushed over my skin as the heat of his mouth touched my stomach. Instead of taking his time, his mouth moved quickly up my body. When his tongue flicked out across the swell of skin above my bra, I sucked in a breath.

My breasts ached, begging for his attention, but just as his fingers moved aside the fabric and exposed my breast, the smoke alarm went off.

"The food!" I shouted.

Adrenaline shot through me, and I shoved him off me with so much force he toppled to the floor. I caught only a glimpse of his befuddled expression as I dashed into the kitchen to move the pot and pans off the stovetop.

Using the spatula, I inspected the food. To my relief, other than a few crispy onions and a few potatoes sticking to the bottom of the pot, our dinner wasn't completely ruined.

The steaks were leaning toward medium-well, rather than my preferred medium-rare, but that was a small price to pay for the pleasure I'd experienced from Beckett's attention.

By the time I finished mashing the potatoes with cream and butter, my breathing had returned to a normal rhythm. Taking two plates from the cabinet, I served up the steaks.

Beckett appeared in the kitchen, watching as I spooned some of the steak butter and onions over the mashed potatoes. With a shy smile, I offered him the plate, which he took with a nod of his head.

I grabbed my plate, along with two knives and forks, and joined him at the table.

Beckett dug into his food while I picked at mine.

"You're moving the food around, but you aren't eating," he pointed out.

"I'm not very hungry." As my body had begun caving to the effects of the mutation, my appetite had vanished, and even eating small amounts could make me nauseous.

"Li, you need to eat. Maybe that's why you passed out." Beckett cut a small bite from his steak, then held his fork an inch from my lips.

"Eat your food. I heard your stomach earlier," I teased, not liking the way his sharp gaze studied me.

Instead of eating the bite himself, he started moving the fork in circles and loops.

"What the fork are you doing?" I asked, my eyebrows drawing together in confusion as he brought the piece of steak toward my mouth again. "Are you… Are you doing the airplane?"

"Yes. Now, open up." He waited for me to obey his order, and when I did, he fed me the bite.

His gaze heated as he continued to stare at my mouth, and heat flooded my belly in response.

Whether I wanted to or not, I was falling for him.

Pulling his eyes away from me, he took a bite of the steak. Then he picked up a bit of potato, making buzzing sounds as he moved the fork toward my face again.

It was breathtakingly sweet that he cared enough to make sure I was eating, especially since my studies had taught me that wolves didn't share their food with anyone outside their pack.

But the absurdity of the intimidating alpha wolf feeding me was too much, and I burst out laughing. Beckett's mouth twitched, but he lifted an eyebrow and waited for me to take the bite.

Pulling myself together, I took the potatoes from his fork and basked in the glow of his attention. No matter what happened in the future, this moment was mine to keep forever.

We finished eating and washed the dishes together. Then came the matter of where we would sleep. Beckett offered to sleep on the couch, but taking his hand, I led him to the bedroom.

"Just snuggles; no getting handsy," I warned as we climbed beneath the covers.

As we lay there in the dark, him holding me as the little spoon, I whispered the question that weighed on my mind. "What if I find a way to give you something you want in return for your bite?"

His arm tightened around my waist. "It's not about me getting something in return. Your desire to save lives is the most convincing cause I could imagine. But the cost is high."

"I know, but like I said, you'll only be bound to me for a short while."

His chest rumbled with a sound of frustration. "There's more to it than that, Lilou."

Tears burned in my eyes. "I don't understand."

"There's a… closely guarded secret we wolves keep about marking our mates." He released a pained sigh. "I'm not at liberty to share the secret with anyone outside the pack. If you were a wolf, I could share, but you're not. Wolves know what they're getting into, but humans don't. A few wolves take human mates, but they are outcasts because of it."

"So you can't tell me the secret because I'm not in the club, but you can't bring me into the club without telling me?" I wasn't even surprised that life continued to throw me unfair curveballs, but that wasn't what had my heart growing heavier.

Why hadn't I realized what I would be asking Beckett to risk for me? I'd mistakenly believed we could keep the bite a secret. After all, it wasn't like I'd be around long enough for him to bother introducing me to people. But by biting a human, I was asking him to risk him losing the respect of his pack—his family. That would be a lot to ask of a man who loved me, let alone one I'd kidnapped.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to keep the tears at bay and prayed that sleep would come quickly.