Chapter Eight

Istumbled back a step as though she'd punched me in the gut.

Of all the things I'd imagined her saying, that hadn't even been in the realm of possibilities. I blinked, trying to wrap my head around the insanity of her request. Hardly trusting my legs to stay under me, I stepped back until I could sag into a chair.

How could she be so heartless as to ask me for this when she knew how much it would hurt?

Lilou moved forward, her eyes shimmering with tears. She reached toward me, but her hand only brushed my arm before she lowered her arm to her side.

"That's a big ask." I shook my head, not even willing to hear her reasoning. "One I can't agree to."

Her shoulders drooped, and she dropped into a chair across from me.

I watched her, wondering if this was some type of elaborate prank. If it was, it wasn't funny.

"Beckett, you have no idea how much I hate to even ask you for this. But I need your help." Her soft tone soothed some of the raw pain her request had stirred inside me.

"The werewolf gene is considered a blessing to most," she whispered, lowering her head until her forehead rested on her arms on top of the table. Her wavy purple hair fell forward, like a waterfall, and hid her face. "But I'm one of the cursed."

For a second time in less than five minutes, her words hit me like a physical blow. That scent on her… the one I couldn't place. Now I understood why it was so familiar and so alien all at once.

"You have the mutation, don't you?" I asked.

If she did, she was one of the unluckiest people on Earth. The mutation was so rare, I could count on one hand the number of cases that had occurred over the last century.

Wolves didn't get the mutation, but some unlucky humans did if there was a wolf somewhere in their ancestry. My species rarely took humans as a mate, and when they did, they tended not to procreate. This made the odds of inheriting the mutation slim, but it wasn't impossible.

What she was asking was risky—for both of us.

I cleared my throat. "If I bite you and you turn, you'll die." And that was just one of the struggles we'd face if I went along with her plan.

"I know. But I don't plan to shift," she murmured, still not looking at me.

"You're forgetting something." I crossed my arms over my chest. "Biting you will mark you as my mate."

The implications of that alone left me worried she hadn't thought this through. There had never been an alpha with a human mate, so who knew how my pack would react? But being separated after marking her would be cruel to both of us. It would cause me to be distracted, which was a dangerous state of mind when leading a pack.

"I didn't forget. That's the only reason I could ask you—because I knew I wouldn't be taking you from a fated mate who was searching for you." Her words were so soft, I wouldn't have heard them if I'd been human.

Wolves could bite and claim anyone as their mate, but they only had one fated mate. Despite Lilou's desperation to be bitten, she wasn't selfish enough to risk separating fated mates.

That's why she'd kidnapped me… because my fated mate had died.

She lifted her head, offering me what she probably hoped was a reassuring smile. "But don't worry, you won't be stuck with me. I'll be out of your way in the blink of an eye. I just need a little more time on this earth."

"Don't we all?" I asked, rubbing my forehead to ease the beginnings of a migraine.

"I suppose that's true." Lilou shook her head, her lips twisting in a wry smile. "But I don't think you understand what I mean."

Taking a deep breath, she seemed to gather her courage, but I could still smell the fear and pain wafting from her.

Keeping my voice gentle, I tried to encourage her. "I'm listening."

"Please don't think I'm just being greedy. Heck, if it were just for me, I'd never ask this. I've dedicated my life to research and I've made major breakthroughs. Now, my research is finishing the last test and then it can be presented to the world, where it will be used to save so many lives."

My eyebrows rose. "That's amazing, Lilou. You must be so proud."

I'd read about her studies and some of the medical advancements she'd been a part of, but I didn't realize just how incredibly gifted she was.

"It has nothing to do with pride. I need to be the one to present it. Otherwise, I'm afraid a corporation will steal my work, and charge a ridiculous price that people will be forced to pay if they don't want to die. Money was never my goal… saving lives was." A single tear slid down her pale cheek.

My heart ached, and I longed to wipe it away. "I'm sure things will work out."

What was I missing? I still didn't understand what any of this had to do with me biting her. Was she afraid the drug companies were going to put out a hit on her and she wanted protection?

"Not this time." Her voice shook, and she pressed her fingertips against her eyes. "My body is breaking down too fast. I'm in a race against the clock and I'm losing."

Every drop of blood in my body turned to ice. "What are you saying?" The words came out far harsher than I intended.

Her swirling gray eyes met mine. "I'm going to die before I can complete it."

I sank back in my chair, staring at her in absolute horror and unable to speak a word.

Lilou took my silence as her chance to forge ahead. "Beckett, I've studied the mate bite. I found a case from fifty years ago where a wolf fell in love with a human who was dying of tuberculosis. He bit her and while the bite didn't heal her, it did stabilize her condition and give them a little more time. There are two other cases that are similar, and in both, the females lived a few months longer."

She moved around the table to kneel in front of me, her eyes pleading with me to hear her out. "I know I'm not dying of a human illness, but I think at most, I'd only live a year and then you'd be free of me. It's also possible my condition has already done too much damage and your bite will give me no more than a week or so. But I'm begging you to please consider it."

This decision could be a disaster, not just for me, but for my pack, and for her. The pack was supposed to be my main concern; it was my duty to protect them.

So why was I torn?

That should've been the easiest no of my life.

But the word wouldn't come out.

Lilou's lip trembled, and she stared down at her lap.

"Why me?" I already knew, but I wanted to hear the words from her lips.

"If you bite me, I'm not stealing you from your mate." She looked up, her eyes filled with tears.

We'd both lost so much that day. My mate… her best friend.

Strangely, the pain I felt in my chest at that moment wasn't caused by the memory of my mate's death. No, that loss had mostly healed.

Instead, my heart ached for the woman in front of me, one I'd grown to care about more than I wanted to admit.

Her hand touched my knee, causing my wolf to whine and begin pacing in my mind. He was growing attached to Lilou as well, and if I bit her and she died, I would be left frustrated and alone. I'd be forced to live through the nightmare of losing another mate. The muscles in my jaw flexed as I ground my teeth together and remembered the horror of that pain.

"That was the worst night of my life," she whispered. "I remember you holding her."

I remained silent.

"And I remember that he was found dead." Her voice told me she knew what I did… and didn't disagree with my actions. "He deserved it after what he did. What kind of person hits someone and keeps driving?"

"A monster," I answered automatically.

And to kill a monster, I'd become a monster.

That night, I'd held my mate's broken, mangled body in my arms as she stared up at me, struggling to breathe. There had been so much blood. The scent of it had filled my nose and lungs.

I'd watched her gaze slide from me as the life had left her eyes. Then had come the rage and the hatred. I'd needed to destroy someone.

"The night she died… you were there." I could see her in my mind's eye.

"I was there. Next to her when he hit her…" She trailed off, wincing as if hearing the sound of Idrie being struck down.

Idrie had been pronounced dead at the scene, and after her body had been taken away, we'd sat on the ground for what had felt like hours. Finally, Lilou had stood and led me back to her house.

She'd put me in the shower and had scrubbed the dried blood from my body. I remembered her gaze meeting mine, and the tears flowing down both our faces as we grieved our shared loss.

"I never saw you again after that night," she said, a questioning note in her voice.

"I left town." After what I'd done to the man responsible for murdering my mate, I'd needed to lie low.

The room was growing dim as the sun moved behind the trees, but neither of us moved to turn on the lights.

"I just want to save more lives," Lilou whispered almost to herself. "All I need is your bite. I promise I'll leave you alone after. When I die, you can have my house and car to sell or keep. I don't have much else to offer."

I'd long ago resigned myself to being alone. In the years since Idrie's death, I'd never found anyone. Until a certain purple-haired spitfire had kidnapped me.

She sucked in a deep breath as if to steady her trembling voice. "And when I'm gone, you'll be able to mark someone else. Someone you love."

I smelled her pain… and her fear. She was terrified and desperate for me to say yes. But what she was asking had never been done. How did I make her see that being marked wasn't the solution?

"If I do this, it can't be undone. We'll be drawn to one another, linked until death. It's a craving that'll grow stronger and more painful the longer we're apart." I caught her chin, forcing her to look at me. "And for humans, the pain is excruciating. How can I accept that I would be causing you to suffer?"

"I'm used to living with pain." Her whisper clawed at my heart. "It's been my constant companion for as long as I can remember. I can handle it."

"And what if I can't let you go?" I stared at her, wondering if she'd truly thought this through.

The animal inside me wouldn't let her walk away. She'd belong to me.

Her eyes widened. Clearly, she hadn't considered that I'd want to keep her. But I wasn't about to make a life-altering decision like this without thinking through every possible outcome.

Still, I hoped I could talk some sense into her and figure out another way… because her plan would end in disaster.

"I—" Her throat flexed as she swallowed hard.

Uncrossing my legs, I leaned forward and waited for her answer.

She tried again. "I hadn't thought of that. But even your bite won't fix me for good. I'm going to die. Soon."

Her voice broke, and she dissolved into tears. I hated that I'd added to her distress with my questions. But we had to discuss them.

The world wasn't always black and white. There were often layers of gray to our decisions that were neither good nor bad. It was up to us to make sure we made the best choices for everyone involved.

But I didn't have a clue what I was going to do.

Lowering myself to the floor, I pulled her into my arms and buried my nose in her hair. I breathed in her sweet scent, rocking her gently until her sobs quieted.