Chapter Seven

I'd thought the most dangerous thing I'd done in my life was kidnap an alpha wolf.

Boy, was I really freaking wrong.

As it turned out, inviting that alpha wolf into the shower was by far the most dangerous thing I'd done.

It had seemed like the smart decision. I could make sure he didn't escape and he could make sure I didn't pass out. And by showering together, we could get on the road quicker.

That's not the reason you asked him…

My inner voice had a habit of calling me out, and although I wished I could deny it, I couldn't.

I was afraid of falling again, so that part was true. And I did want to hit the road as soon as possible in case his pack was tracking us. But the only reason Beckett was still here was because he wanted to be, not because I was holding him captive.

Admit it. You enjoyed the intimacy of snuggling and didn't want it to end.

I'd known from a young age that I wasn't going to live a normal life, and because of that, I had avoided romantic relationships. One-night stands and casual hookups were safer since they didn't require much in the way of talking, and there were no messy, tangled emotions. Getting my sexual needs taken care of was great, but it left my soul cold and empty.

Last night I hadn't been able to resist the desire to experience what it was like to be held while I slept. I just wanted one night where I could pretend the arms wrapped around me would protect me and love me.

Even though I meant nothing to Beckett, I'd awakened with the glow of happiness warming the hollow sadness I'd grown accustomed to. And I was blaming that for the lapse in judgment when I believed we could shower together without anything happening.

Catching sight of Beckett's erection, and knowing my body had caused it, was a definite ego boost. Especially since my health had begun to deteriorate faster over the past few months. I avoided looking in the mirror, having no desire to see the paleness, or the dark bruises that appeared for no reason, or the way my hair had grown dull and was starting to fall out, or the way my ribs and hipbones had begun to protrude.

Vanity had never been a big deal to me, and I hadn't given much thought to my appearance, but witnessing the outward signs of my worsening condition made it harder to pretend everything was fine. It was intoxicating to know a man as gorgeous as Beckett found me desirable. And when he pulled me into his arms in a playful hug, I couldn't resist the temptation to wrap my arms around his neck and enjoy the intimacy of the moment.

Rivulets of water ran down our skin, causing our bodies to slide against each other. I tried to ignore the way his erection pressed against my stomach, its heat searing my skin and sending a wave of heat straight between my legs.

"Lilou." The single word was low and husky, sending a thrill through me.

"Hm?" I hummed.

Going up on tiptoe, I enjoyed the slide of his length pinned between our bodies under the guise of placing a kiss at the base of his neck.

"We should stop." Despite his words, his hands traveled down my back to rest on my hips. "You feel amazing."

"Do you want me to stop?" I murmured, placing a kiss on his chest.

His fingers gripped my hips tighter. "No, but we're playing with fire. It was hard to resist you in bed with your butt pressed against me, but this is dangerous."

His rough voice and the raw lust vibrating in it gave me the courage to slip my hand between our bodies. My fingers brushed the smooth, rounded tip of his length.

"Oh, yes," Beckett hissed between his teeth, his hips thrusting into my touch.

Taking that as my go ahead, I curled my fingers around his girth and used the water to move up and down his length. Beckett's breathing grew rough, and his body trembled as I found my rhythm.

While my fingers teased and massaged, my lips traveled across his chest. Closing my eyes, I let all my stresses fade away and enjoyed the sensations of his skin pressed against mine, the heat of the water pouring down our bodies, and the fluttering in my belly caused by his hands exploring my body.

His erection grew impossibly hard in my grip, and Beckett wrapped his hand around mine, stopping my movement. "I hate admitting this, but things are going to get messy if you don't stop now."

Opening my eyes, I squinted up at him. Wasn't that the point?

"You don't have to do this. I can take care of things—" Beckett began, but I cut him off.

"Not a chance." Tightening my fingers, I purred.

This was the most thrilling thing I'd ever done… aside from the whole capturing a wolf shifter thing.

Beckett's eyes glowed a brilliant green, and his features seemed to grow sharper. "You're so beautiful."

My body flushed, and I dropped my gaze. His muscles flexed as I continued working his length, bringing him closer and closer to his release. A low growl rumbled in his chest and vibrated through my bones.

"Lilou," he groaned, his body going stiff.

His cock jerked in my hold, spilling the evidence of his arousal over my hand and belly. I slid my thumb over the tip, then licked my glistening fingertip, curious to know what he tasted like.

Beckett growled again, but this time it held a feral edge. "Woman, you have no idea what you are doing to me."

Before I could respond, he grabbed my hips and spun me around so that my back was pressed against his chest.

"I want to touch you." His hand slid lower, sending a thrill of excitement racing through me. "Say yes."

My legs wobbled and his left arm wrapped around my waist, fully supporting my weight. Between the lust clouding my mind, his sexy body holding me as though I weighed nothing, and his lips sucking and kissing my neck, I gave into my desire.

"Yes," I answered, completely breathless. "Touch me."

That was all he needed to hear. Beckett's right hand moved down until he was cupping my sex.

"Oooh." Another wave of slick heat rushed between my thighs.

When his finger traced along my slit, I bit my lip and whimpered. My previous experiences had been dating app hookups, and more of the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am type of encounters. Nothing about those had prepared me for this type of erotic encounter.

Lust curled tighter and tighter in my belly while my breathing grew ragged. If I wasn't careful, I would end up passing out before he slid a single finger into my heat.

Dropping my head back against his chest, I moaned his name. "Beckett."

His lips moved up my neck, sending electric shocks of pleasure straight to my core. Without warning, his finger delved inside me, causing me to gasp in shock and my eyes to cross.

A second strong finger joined the first, stretching me as he found a rhythm that had me seeing stars. While I struggled to keep myself from passing out, his fingers worked their magic, building the fiery need in my belly to an almost painful level. Unable to help myself, I rocked my hips against his palm.

"Come for me," Beckett rumbled, his lips continuing to kiss and suck along my neck and shoulder.

His fingers moved faster, hitting all the right places, and I fell apart. He held my limp, trembling body as I rode the most powerful waves of pleasure I'd ever experienced.

And even with my senses overwhelmed and my mind clouded with lust, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to make love to Beckett if he could make me feel so good with just two fingers.

When my breathing slowed, and the risk of fainting had passed, Beckett turned me in his arms. Holding me to him with an arm around my waist, he grabbed the washcloth, and soaping it up, he began to wash my skin.

Tears pricked my eyes as I discovered, for the first time in my life, what it felt like to be cared for.

After the shower, we packed up my overnight bag and headed from the dim hotel room out into the bright sun. Climbing into my SUV, we settled in for a long ride.

I spent the next several hours of driving trying not to overthink my rash decision. It had been an idiotic move to allow myself to be distracted while on a literal life-and-death mission.

Parking in front of a fishing cabin I'd rented, I stared at the small wooden structure. It wasn't the fanciest of places, but it had appeared well maintained in the photos, and it was the only place I could find that would let me pay with cash.

The owner hadn't seemed worried about who he was renting to, and I got the impression he was used to renting out to lovers who didn't want to be found out.

Blowing out a long sigh, I rested my forehead against the steering wheel. I'd paid extra to have the cabin stocked with basic groceries, but with my energy waning, I was worried about how I'd have the strength to prepare dinner.

The weight of the world settled on my shoulders and they drooped. Not to mention, I needed to have a conversation with Beckett where I laid out what I needed from him. Closing my eyes, I tried to calm my rising anxiety.

"Are you really taking a nap in your vehicle?" Beckett's voice cut through my tired mind.

I'd been seconds from nodding off, but I wasn't about to tell him that.

"Of course not. Let's go inside." Reaching for the door handle, I stepped out of the car.

He chuckled, opening his car door as well. Not giving me a chance to grab it, Beckett opened the passenger door to get my bag.

"Thank you," I breathed, relieved by his help.

My body was trembling, and I was burning through energy reserves just to stay upright.

His mossy green eyes softened. "No problem."

A warm, fuzzy feeling spread through my belly and I couldn't stop thinking about his hands traveling over my bare skin.

"You are really well behaved for someone who's been kidnapped," I teased, needing to distract myself.

He snorted, amusement dancing in his gaze. "And you are equally terrible at being a kidnapper."

I shook my head. "Touche."

"So, are we going inside?" he asked, turning to take in our surroundings.

It was my turn to snort. "Nope. We drove all this way to just stare at the outside of the cabin."

With heavy feet, I made my way up the tiny roughhewn path that led to the porch. The scent of rain hit my nose and a slight drizzle began to fall.

I didn't hear Beckett walking behind me, but I sensed his presence and knew I wasn't alone. There was an odd comfort in knowing he was with me, which was ridiculous considering the circumstances.

I typed the passcode into the electronic keypad and opened the burgundy painted door. Stepping inside, I was greeted with stale air and a stillness.

Oddly enough, it was the same empty greeting I got when I would leave my lab and head home to sleep and shower. Over the past year, my house had begun to feel as though I were already gone.

Shoving those morose thoughts aside, I dropped my car keys on the table and turned, coming face to face with Beckett.

Like a dance, he crowded me and I stumbled back until my back bumped into the wall. Beckett planted both hands above my head and leaned in.

I stared up into those intense eyes of his, unable to breathe and hearing my blood pounding in my ears. Heat radiated off him, both comforting and exciting me, as I waited to see what he would do next.

Beckett studied my face with the intensity of a predator, sending a shiver down my spine. Had I misjudged him? Everything I knew about who he was now was second-hand knowledge. We'd parted ways so long ago that he could've changed, and I could be in serious danger.

But my gut wasn't warning me that my life was in danger.

No, it wasn't my body that was in peril. My instincts were warning me it was my heart that was at risk. Beckett could easily break down my protective walls if I let him get too close.

He was someone I feared… because I could love him. And that thought was both exhilarating and terrifying.

I didn't have time for love, though. My destiny was already decided, and that was my work. The research that would live on long after my body was fertilizer. It was that work I'd dedicated my life to and would make all the worry, heartache, and the consequences that were bound to follow my actions in the past two days worth it.

"Now," he growled, "tell me what you want from me."

Warmth rushed south and my stomach quivered. I couldn't breathe, much less tell him what I wanted.

"You didn't risk everything without having a reason. I've been patient, but it's time. I need to know."

He was right, and I'd known this moment was coming. But I didn't know how I was supposed to think with his muscular body pressing me into the wall.

I swallowed hard. "Maybe we should go sit on the couch and talk?"

It was too hard to focus with his hard length poking my stomach and his gorgeous lips so close I could taste them.

"Hm. I think you're stalling." He leaned in closer, so close his breath warmed my neck, sending sparks shooting through me like errant fireworks. "I need to know."

Of course he needed to know. But I was about to ask him for an impossible favor and no matter how I worded it, I knew it was going to sound awful.

I refused to regret any decisions I'd made up to that point. That was the promise I'd made myself at the start of this whole misadventure.

Knowing he'd probably hate me once he got his answer, I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips, wanting to taste him one more time.

He drew in a sharp breath, but kissed me back. The softness of his kiss was a stark contrast to his hard length that jerked between us. Breaking the kiss, I touched my tingling lips and shoved away my desire to beg him for more. Love and a partner weren't on the table for me.

"Are you trying to distract me, Li?" His breath was ragged, and I longed to kiss him again.

"Partially," I admitted, figuring I might as well be honest.

I was about to make a desperate request, one that only he could grant. Because not only was I running out of time, but he was the only one I would ever ask this of. And by explaining why I'd picked him, I'd also reopen an old wound for both of us.

His eyes narrowed. "Tell me."

My heart banged against my chest hard enough to break ribs. As much as I hated relying on anyone, I didn't have a choice.

I needed his blessing to cancel out my curse.

I needed his protection.

I needed him.

He leaned in closer, his lips grazing my neck. Who was distracting who now?

Part of me wished he'd kiss me until we couldn't fight the desire within us. I wanted to feel complete, if only once. But I also knew that part of me was trying to avoid the discomfort of what was coming next.

Lifting my head, I stared up at the ceiling and tried to bring some semblance of order to my jumbled thoughts.

"There's no easy way to ask this," I whispered around the painful lump in my throat.

He pulled back, but I kept my eyes fixed on the ceiling and avoided his gaze. I couldn't look him in the face while I made my plea.

"Just ask," he growled. "In case it wasn't obvious, there isn't much I would say no to when it comes to you. Do you need money? A place to stay? A bodyguard?"

"I wish." My laugh was brittle, and my eyes burned with tears.

What I needed was a matter of life and death. I finally met his stare, needing him to see my emotions, and that I wasn't joking around.

"Beckett, I need you to bite me."