35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Nick

My tennis coach was pissed that I was missing out on training for the next several days, but there was nothing he could do when I said there'd been a loss in the family. It was a little white lie, but I wasn't about to abandon Logan now when he needed me.

I'd spend some time with him before I had to fly back separately to begin practice. If I didn't step it up in tennis, I was going to lose my scholarship, so I had to make sure I was at the top of my game when I returned.

Logan and I were on a plane, flying back to Virginia after getting all moved into our dorms. I handled my own shit, making Wyatt and Logan spend more time together, moving him in.

He sat next to me in the seat while Wyatt was in the seat in front of us. We were covered by a blanket the airline provided, holding hands underneath, while Logan's head fell on my shoulder as he napped.

If our relationship had to stay hidden from the world, we'd have to find moments like these to remind each other of our love. Logan just ‘accidentally' fell asleep on me. It happened. No one was any wiser about us on our flight. Or so I hoped. It did kind of look like we were together, but I wasn't about to move him.

When we landed, we walked to the baggage claim. Logan was withdrawn and moody. I didn't blame him now that he'd have to face Hunter and his loss. No doubt Logan's own loss was on his mind. I tried not to think of my father, but if he'd died instead of leaving, I'd probably be grieving all over again, too.

As Logan waited for our bags, Wyatt pulled me aside. "You two have gotten pretty close in the past three weeks. I'm honestly surprised. This was exactly what I wanted, but I didn't believe for a second that you two would get along this well. I love my son, but Logan is… stubborn. What changed?"

We kissed, fucked, and fell in love?

I shrugged. "Being forced to spend time together in close quarters, you either fight even more or you decide to get along because it makes the trip more fun. We ended up talking a lot, and Logan really opened up. I think he needed it."

"I can't tell you how happy I am to see you both being brothers. I'm really close to my own brother."

I winced at that. "In all honesty, Logan's a compelling man. Once you get him out of his shell, he's sincere and deep. No one's more surprised by that than me. When he finally climbed out of his shell, we found we had a lot in common."

Wyatt smiled and watched his surly son lift a bag off the belt. "He's a very smart young man, but he's so reserved. I often wonder if he hadn't lost his mother so young that he would've been more open."

"That could be a part of it, but he's also been hiding himself for years."

"True."

"Whatever the reason, he's a good person, and he's doing fine."

"Maybe one day he can find someone for himself. His road won't be easy."

It wouldn't be easy for either of us, but I was ready.

I knocked on Logan's closed bedroom door. He'd been so withdrawn that my insecurities were niggling at me. Since we'd been home, I worried Logan was having doubts about us and wasn't talking to me about them, reminding me of the miscommunication between Lauren and me, leading to our breakup. Fuck if I was going to lose Logan because we weren't talking.

He abruptly opened his door, scanned the hallway, and yanked me inside before slamming me against the wall and fucking my mouth with his tongue. All my doubts and worries completely melted away from me as I fisted his hair and pulled him deeper into the kiss, and his hands touched me everywhere they could.

"God, I missed you," he breathed on my lips.

I smiled, feeling so much fucking better. "But like, we were holding hands for the entire flight."

He smiled back. "You know what I mean, ass."

"I do. Admittedly, I was getting worried there for a moment."

"About what?"

"That you were backing out of this. I don't know… I guess I have my own insecurities to deal with."

He kissed me again, this time more gently, with his tongue slowly rolling around in my mouth.

"No way I'm letting you go," he said when we pulled away. "I'm just stressed about seeing Hunter. I need to be there, but fuck, it reminds me so much of losing Mom. While I also lost Mrs. McKnight, it's not at the level of Hunter and his family. But I know what it's like, and it fucking hurts. The pain never fully goes away."

"Understandable, but if I know Logan Conrad, he'll be there to support his best friend, no matter how much it hurts."

Logan stepped back, grabbed my hand, and tugged me into his bed.

"Are we fucking already?" I quipped.

He rolled his eyes. "I swear… perpetual sex on the brain."

We sat down, and he took one of my hands. "After Dad's reaction to me telling him I'm gay, I think I want us to tell our parents. Not yet. Let's just get through the funeral first, but we're going to need some allies, and I think we need to trust our parents."

"Then I'm with you… all the way."

"I love you, Nick. I couldn't have gotten through all this without you, from the trip to finally admitting I'm gay to the death of Hunter's mom. You've been someone I've been able to be myself with and someone I can lean on. Just know that I'll always be there for you, too, whenever you need me."

I touched his face and kissed him because I could never get enough of kissing Logan. "Being with you has opened my eyes to what love really means."

Logan sighed and stood. "I need to go now. Hunter's waiting for me. I'll be back later tonight."

I stood with him. "I'm going to hang out with Caleb. Uhm… would you mind if I told him about me and… us?" There was no way I'd tell Caleb unless Logan and I agreed. If our relationship was to survive, it hinged on good communication and trust. If this trip taught us anything, it was that we were stronger together.

"Ah… if you're sure he won't say anything. I'm not a fan of Caleb, but I also don't know him like you do. If you trust him, then so do I."

"He's an ass, and he has way too much sex, but I trust him. I know he'll always have my back."

"Then tell him."

When I walked into Caleb's house, we gave each other a bro hug. I followed him into his kitchen, where he rummaged in the refrigerator and pulled out two beers, handing me one.

"Good to see you, man."

"Good to be back."

We both sat at the kitchen table, and I watched my best friend drink from his bottle. My nerves were fucking on fire. While I trusted him, it was still scary to admit to someone you'd known for years that not only you weren't as straight as you thought, but you were dating your stepbrother. I worried he'd see me differently at best. I didn't want to even think about the worst. This gave me a tiny taste of what Logan had gone through growing up. But I needed to trust him, despite the tiny fears of losing him.

"So, what are you doing back here? I'm leaving the day after tomorrow for Norfolk."

"I'm here because Hunter's mom died, and I wanted to give Logan some moral support."

"Damn, I'm sorry she died, but moral support? He totally wouldn't have done the same for you, man. The dude can't stand you. He's the biggest dick we know."

I wanted to get defensive, but Logan didn't make it easy to like him before our trip. Not to mention, I always trash-talked him to Caleb, and that was my fault. I'd have to undilute Caleb's view of Logan now.

"How was the trip with step bro? Was it a complete nightmare?"

I spun the untouched can of beer on the table. "Actually, it was fucking epic. I had a great time, and once Logan stopped being a dick for five minutes, we… really connected. I've been so wrong about him."

He raised a blond brow, his coffee-and-cream eyes staring hard at me. "Seriously? How did that happen?"

"It's a long story," I sighed and chugged back half the can of beer, feeling the burn in my acid stomach.

"I'm all ears if you need to talk, man, because it looks like you have something heavy to say."

"Thanks. I do. So, yeah, we kind of had a blow-up early on, but then we talked, and it cleared up so much shit between us. After that, the trip was amazing and fun. We got to enjoy hanging around each other. I think my favorite was Lake Tahoe. I really want to go back there."

"Wow. Okay, well, I'm glad to see you both figured your shit out. At least you two will stop fucking fighting, and I can stop listening to it. I still don't like him, but I guess as long as you do..." He shrugged and took another sip of beer.

Here it goes.

With a deep breath, I exhaled the truth. "It'll be more than that. I'm not going to go into details because it's not entirely my story to tell, but let's just say we connected as more than just brothers."

"What does that mean?" His brows shot straight to his hairline, and his eyes widened. "Wait… I'm going to assume you mean more than a friendship here."

"Yeah."

He ran a hand through his blond hair. "Shit, we're going to need something heavier than this cheap ass beer."

Caleb walked out into the dining room, opened the liquor cabinet, and brought back a bottle of something amber colored and two shot glasses. He set the glasses on the table and poured the liquor to the brim.

"Dad's whiskey… the good stuff."

He tossed it all back like a shot and coughed. I wasn't a whiskey drinker, and I didn't want to throw it all up, so I took a tiny sip.

"Wimp," he teased. "Now out with it. Tell me how stepbrothers may be more than brothers."

"As I said, it's not all my story, but after we worked out our shit, I kind of messed with him one night. He'd never had a real kiss before, so I thought I'd show him how it was done, kind of like how you and I did before we started dating others."

"Let me guess, one thing led to another."

"Yep, exactly."

That we were talking about this and Caleb not telling me I was being an idiot solidified our friendship.

"I mean, you've only ever been with Lauren, so this is kind of weird, and I never imagined you with a dude, but I guess I could see that happening to you more than to Logan. He's so… stiff and broody. Then again, he's barely ever been with anyone before, so maybe it makes sense. Wait… is he gay or something?"

"That's his story." Although not answering was an answer in itself.

Caleb poured himself another shot of whiskey and downed it while I still nursed mine. "And what about you?"

"I'm not gay, but something else."

"Bi?"

"No."

I had definitely questioned my sexuality again after meeting up with Caleb. We'd kissed once upon a time, and he was a good-looking guy, but there were no sparks. Then again, he was my best friend, and I only saw him as such.

"What else is there?" he asked.

"Apparently, I'm a pansexual, and I only learned that when Logan and I hit a gay bar in Austin, Texas."

I went on to explain the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality to him, and he sat there, listening without judgment. I'd never been more appreciative of my best friend before.

"Now that you and Logan have feelings for each other, it doesn't change the fact that you two are also family. How is that going to play out? Do your parents know?"

I downed the rest of my drink, feeling the stinging burn go straight to my gut. "All good questions. We don't know. Logan wants to tell them, but I'll go with whatever he decides."

"That's all well and good, but this is your life, too, not only his."

"I'm aware of that, Cale. But I've made my choice to stand by him no matter what he decides. I'm in this for the long haul."

Caleb smiled softly and shook his head. "You love him. You love your stepbrother. That's weird, man, I gotta admit, but whatever. You two aren't blood related. I've never been in love, so who am I to say?"

"I do love him, and he loves me."

Caleb poured us both one more shot. "Then here's to love. Your road won't be easy, Nick, but I'll be here when you need me."

"I can't tell you how much your support means."

"We'll always be friends."

We downed the rest of our drinks, which already made me buzzed, and then we talked about the trip and his latest summer fling.