34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Nick

Day 21

Our last two days had been as amazing as the rest of our trip. We did more hiking and swam underneath gorgeous waterfalls. We had more sex and gave each other morning blow jobs, trying to get in as much touch as we could before we had to separate. When we returned to Vienna, I'd make sure to sneak in more before heading back to school.

Logan and I broke down camp in the late morning after our coffee and a light breakfast of eggs and grilled bread. We'd barely said a word to each other, not that we were angry, but our moods had dropped significantly. Well, at least for me. Logan might have been a tad angry, since he was constantly fucking intense when things weren't going his way.

He punched clothes into his backpack as if the bag had insulted him somehow. Then he tossed washed pans and our tin dishes into the box they were stored in, clanging loudly through the quiet campground.

At one point, Logan stubbed his sandaled toe on a rock and cursed at life.

All I could do was watch him and smile. Before, I would've gotten tense right along with him, but now I'd come to know him, and his mood wasn't really personal or directed at me.

He sat his ass down for a second, rubbing his sore toe and mumbling obscenities. I squatted in front of him and looked at it. He'd cracked the toenail, and it was bleeding a little, but it wasn't too bad.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

"Fucking perfect."

He looked away, but I grabbed his face with my hand by his jaw and forced him to look at me. Sometimes I had to take the upper hand to calm him the fuck down.

When our eyes met, I leaned forward and gave him a deep kiss with tongue. I didn't do it to turn us on, although my dick took notice, but to make a point and to distract him.

Logan fisted my T-shirt, not to shove me away, but his body was tense as hell.

When I broke us apart, he gasped and then glanced around the campgrounds. "What the hell are you doing?"

"No one fucking cares, Logan. No one even noticed. People are generally too busy with their own lives to be bothered by someone else's. Not everyone. Some people can't fucking help themselves. But right here and now, no one's even looking our way."

"You did it to prove that to me?"

"I did it because I wanted to kiss you and distract you. But I also wanted to show you I'm not going anywhere. This isn't over for us. Do you understand?"

His entire body just melted when I cupped his scruffy face. His hazel eyes were so full of frustration, yet there was love that he directed at me.

"I'm just full of conflicting emotions right now."

"I know you are, baby."

"It's not always easy for me to process… It's getting fucking annoying."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. "Not really."

"Okay." I stood and touched his face once more to show him I was there when he needed me.

Once we had the car loaded up, we drove out of the campgrounds and found a gas station in town to fill up before we drove to Stanford. The drive wouldn't be long, only four hours. In fact, it was too short. I needed more time alone with Logan.

We'd come so far in such a short period, learning so much about each other, and now we were back to facing reality, which was fine as long as we never went back to how we were. The thought niggled that we would, which was stupid. I needed to trust Logan, but his mood this morning reminded me of how we started before this trip began.

But when he took my hand and smiled at me behind his sunglasses, I instantly relaxed. Despite Logan's intensity, he had a way of calming even me when he was in his moment and out of his head. I also loved how a simple touch kept me grounded.

No, I loved more than his touch. When someone like him could make my heart palpitate by a mere look or stroke of a hand on the cheek, or when he had my stomach in perpetual knots—but in a good way—I knew I'd not only fallen hard for him, but I was ready to tell him.

Fuck, it was so fast. Would Logan believe me? Despite knowing him for years, we'd only truly gotten to know each other in the past three weeks. In that period, I couldn't imagine a day without holding him, kissing him, or fucking him. Being with Logan felt as easy as a warm and gentle breeze.

I squeezed his hand. "Logan?"

He quickly glanced at me before looking back onto the road as he drove. "Yeah?"

"I want to tell you something before we reach Wyatt."

A frown formed on his face, but he didn't look at me again. "Okay."

I guess that sounded bad. "I know I've already claimed you as mine, but it's more than that."

Logan visibly relaxed, easing his tight grip on my hand, which he still held. "How's it more?"

"I love you." There. I said it, and I meant it. There was no turning back, and I didn't want to. I wanted to go forward with Logan in my life. "Yeah, it's fucking fast, but it doesn't scare me. Hell, it feels like we've been together for months, not two weeks. This whole thing between us has been an unstoppable mudslide, taking all our emotions and grinding them into the mix until we finally settled into a perfect place. It's worked for us, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Y-you love me?" Then Logan's smile became one part smirk and one part shy. "I love you, too."

"We're going to make this work, okay?"

He sat up straighter, and with the most confidence I'd ever seen him show, he gave a curt nod. "Then we'll work."

He lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles before focusing on driving in silence, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to a song in his head.

I popped in a tape, listening to ‘Killing Moon' by Echo and the Bunnymen, and leaned my head back to stare out at the beautiful mountains as we made our way closer and closer to our eventual separation, at least temporarily. I needed to remember that.

It was right after three in the afternoon when we pulled into the Holiday Inn parking lot. Logan removed his sunglasses and tossed them on the dash, staring and scowling at the squat motel just off the highway.

Please don't have doubts, Logan. Don't give in to the negative voices.

I could imagine his nerves now that we were about to be face-to-face with Wyatt.

"What if Dad notices?" he asked.

"How?"

"I don't know. Parents are like intuitive and shit."

"Wyatt won't figure it out unless you tell him."

"I kind of want to, but I'm also terrified."

It suddenly dawned on me that if Logan came out as gay, if we admitted we were together, I'd have to come out, too. I hadn't exactly had tons of time to process my pansexuality. But he was right to be nervous. Reality had officially set in, and we needed to be prepared.

"Maybe I should test the waters and just tell him I'm gay. His reaction will hinge on whether we tell him about us."

"That sounds like a solid plan, baby. But only if you want to. If you feel the need to stay in the closet, I'll be there in the dark with you. If you feel the need to be open and free, I'll celebrate with you. No matter what, I'll be by your side."

He stared at me with so much pain in his eyes when I'd been expecting determination or love or… I didn't know. Just not that.

"Nick… are you sure? God, I know I sound like a fucking broken record, but while I love you, I, like, totally want to protect you, even if that means letting you go."

As we sat in the parking lot, I rested my hand on the safest spot on his body, his shoulder, and breathed in calming air while my stomach formed a painful knot. No fucking way was he going to let me go. "I appreciate that you want to protect me, but let me decide what's best for me, yeah?"

Logan's body deflated. "You're right. I can't decide that for you."

"Good. Now, confidence on. Doubts off. Let's go see Wyatt."

We unbuckled our seatbelts, climbed out of the car, and after we shut our doors, Logan locked them.

In the lobby, we asked for Wyatt Conrad's room number. The desk person called his room, talked for a moment, and hung up.

"He's in room 204."

"Thank you," Logan said.

We headed back outside, walked up a flight of steps, and went straight to Wyatt's door. Logan raised his fist for a second before knocking.

Wyatt quickly opened the door, letting us inside. He pulled Logan into a fierce hug, and then he grabbed me, holding us all tight together. "It is so good to see you boys. The past three weeks have felt like three years. Let me look at you."

He chuckled. "You both need haircuts and a shave."

"Nature doesn't care how we look, Dad."

He chuckled. "I stand corrected. Sit down and tell me all about the trip."

Logan and I sat on the bed while Wyatt sat in the only chair and we spent the better part of an hour talking about our adventure and showing him all the pictures I'd taken, minus all the ones of Logan's ass. We told him everything but the obvious.

We then talked about Mia and how Hannah was doing.

"Logan, listen. I drove Nick's car down here instead of your truck."

"That's fine. I can drive it down later."

"No, I mean, I'm going to leave you the Mustang . I always intended to give it to you, but now's as good a time as any."

"God, that's… thank you. It's been epic driving it across the country. It's really held up. My truck probably would've crapped out. Shit, I don't know…"

Logan grew silent, staring at his feet, and his hands fidgeted. His body was tighter than a steel pole. I knew right then Logan was going to tell his dad about him being gay. I desperately wanted to grab his hand and hold it or give him some sort of comfort.

"What's wrong, Logan?"

"I-I need to tell you something… something really important."

"You can tell me anything."

Logan nodded and swallowed hard. "Just please… try to be… open-minded and not get mad."

Wyatt frowned but nodded. "I'll do my best, son."

I exhaled quietly, watching Logan carefully. He was really doing this. Fuck, he was so brave. After seven years in the closet, he was finally coming out. I also wanted to admit my pansexuality, but I was afraid it'd give us away.

Wyatt was stiff and still frowning, but he gave Logan his undivided attention and the benefit of the doubt.

"I've kept this secret for years because I was so afraid of what you'd think of me. I'd lost Mom and didn't want to lose you, too. But it was this trip and…" Logan looked at me and smiled, making my heart skip a beat. "And Nick's friendship that changed everything. I'm… gay, Dad. I'm not into girls and never have been."

Wyatt sighed, leaned back in the chair he sat in, and nodded. "I sometimes wondered. Mia and I talked about you often, thinking you might be gay or at least not interested in dating anyone. We worried about you and talked about what we would do if you came out to us. I won't lie, Logan. It's… odd. Honestly, I'm more worried about how people will react to you than you being gay. But I'm going to tell you here and now… nothing changes. Is that understood? I love you. Mia loves you. We'll never stop loving you, got it?"

Logan looked at me and smirked as his eyes started to water, making my eyes water, too. "See? Fucking intuitive." Then he shook his head. "I should've told you sooner, but I was so scared."

Wyatt stood and held his arms open. Logan also stood and fell into his father. "You're telling me now. That's all that matters. Mia will understand, too. You're still my son. Period."

"Thanks, Dad," he rasped in a trembling voice.

Wyatt looked at me. "Thanks for getting Logan out of his shell, Nick. It seems he needed you."

"I needed him, too. He wasn't the only one who had some growing to do."

We chatted a bit longer, but we didn't mention our relationship. It was probably for the best. One dramatic secret was enough for one day. Whenever—or if ever—Logan decided to tell them, I'd be right there.

"Now, on to plans. I'm going to get you boys moved into your dorms, and then you and I have a flight to take the day after tomorrow, Logan, so you can spend some time with Hunter and attend his mother's funeral. I have a flight arranged for your return a couple of days after the funeral, giving you about a week before school starts."

I raised my hand. "Uhm, I'm going, too, right?"

"I hadn't planned on taking you with us, Nick, since you have tennis practice."

"Yeah, that won't work for me. I promised Logan I'd go with him and support him, so I'd like to go, too, if that's okay."

Wyatt's smile was full of love and appreciation. "Thank you, Nick. I'll make the arrangements."