34. KADENCE

KADENCE

O ne of his furrowed brows lifts as he studies me for a moment longer. His arm falls from around my waist before helping me off of his lap. I frown at the gesture until he moves to stand in front of me. He dips his head to graze his lips against my jaw sending fireworks shooting straight up my spine at the warmth of his breath against my ear.

“Then I’m all yours, Sunflower.”

The sudden rasp in his voice hits every nerve-ending as he presses his lips to my cheek and takes a step back from me. Offering himself up on the platter I asked for.

I inhale sharply, dragging my gaze over his body. I feel nervous that he actually agreed to do this, something I hadn't fully expected, but I'm grateful he's willing to give this to me. Judging by the dark look in his eye... I bet he's willing to give me more.

"Take off your briefs," I demand in a shaky voice.

My eyes flick up to his own, silently asking if that's okay. The quick upturn of his lips lets me know that it was more than as his thumbs hook into the band of his underwear and he slides them down his legs. Again my eyes find every ridge and rope of muscle that works as he stands straight again, kicking the clothing to the side. From the litter of tattoos scattered on his arms I'm surprised he doesn't have as many on his chest.

I step towards him, running the tips of my fingers over the large plane of his chest. Memorizing the constellation of freckles that paint his skin under the soft smattering of his chest hair.

“Tell me what to do,” he urges softly, keeping his hands to his side while I explore him. “I trust you.”

My gaze finds his and I can see it written within the deep blue. The words we haven't said yet, his want for me even as the blue is eclipsed into a delicious darkness I want to fall into.

"Undress me," I breathe, dropping my hands to my side.

Holden smiles approvingly at me, giving back a little bit of the confidence I had when I asked him to do this but had wavered when he agreed.

His hands come to my sides, gripping them gently. Holden trails his fingertips along the hem of my shirt, teasing my already burning skin. Carefully he tugs on the end of it and pulls it over my head. I watch as his eyes dance around the fading bruises that litter my skin for just a moment before they flicker back to mine and force out the breath I didn't realize I was holding as he drops my shirt. For a brief moment I hesitate. Can I really do this?

The moment his fingers hook into the elastic of my underwear and he lowers himself to his knees in front of me the doubt dissipates. He helps me out of them, tosses them aside, and sits back on his haunches, waiting.

The sight makes my heart hammer against my ribcage almost painfully. "What are you doing?"

"Tell me what you want," he rasps. His hands are firmly planted on top of his muscular thighs and his cock stands tall against his belly. Weeping and ready. I gnaw on the inside of my cheek, unsure of what to tell him to do, even though my body itches to feel his hands on every inch of me.

"Do you want me to stay down here?"

It isn't brash or condescending and for a moment I pause. His fingers drum against his legs, impatient but I know it's not because I can't make a decision but because I haven't let him touch me.

I nod, answering his question. "Yes."

Holden's grin grows wider as he lifts his chin, his long hair falls against his forehead and cheeks. I reach out, pushing it back from his face and tangle my fingers into the still damp chestnut locks.

"Kiss me," I whisper, the ache between my legs becoming too much with the sight of him on his knees for me.

"As you wish," he breathes, igniting the spark in my belly.

His hands lift and wrap around the back of my thighs, pulling himself forward and closer to my core. His eyes are still glued to mine as he perches up slightly and presses soft chaste kisses to my hip bones, dragging them against my heated skin between each one leaving a wake of goosebumps.

His lips begin to move lower and his hands move higher up my thighs until they're cupping the underside of my ass. Every movement forces a moan to drip from my lips.

"Don't let go of me," Holden mumbles against my skin.

My brows kiss in confusion until he hooks his arm underneath my knee, lifting it to give him better access to my core. Suddenly he dips his head, pressing a kiss against my clit before sliding his tongue between my folds.

My head drops back as a sigh leaves me. My hand that’s tangled in his hair tugs at the roots while the other holds onto his shoulder, my nails digging into his skin. His tongue flicks over my clit again and it sends a jolt of lightning spreading through my spine.

"Oh God," I breathe. He pulls back for a moment, nipping at my thigh hung over his arm with a wicked grin spread over his lips. I glance down at him, every bit of me is needy for the feeling of his tongue against me again. "Why did you stop?"

His eyes glisten up at me, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Because every sound that falls from those lips makes it harder to keep myself from throwing you on that bed and fucking you in every way you've never been fucked before."

I gasp as he slides his index finger through my cunt, catching my arousal and spreading it over my clit so slowly that my leg almost gives out. "You're the sweetest thing I've ever tasted."

My eyes go wide and I can't tell if I'm blushing or hot with desire. No one has ever spoken to me like that before. I was comfortable making advances, but my sexual experience usually consisted of grunts and silence. My body was never appreciated for more than just what it was. A body. Tears threaten the corners of my eyes at the thought of being worshiped and at this normally gruff man praising every inch of me that he can get a hold of.

"Keep going," I demand quietly. "Please." If only to keep the emotions at bay.

He grins again, planting another kiss on my thigh before dragging his lips back to my core. The rubber band in my belly tightens with every lick and nip he graces me with. Every move makes me shudder and my knee feels weaker the closer I get, that is until he slips his index finger through my entrance and curls it ever so slightly while his tongue lashes at me. I clench around him, my breaths becoming ragged and shaky. "Holden, don't--" I sob out between mewls and soft praises.

"Don't what?" He growls against my skin adding a second finger and forcing a louder moan from me. Everything feels fuzzy as he works me, warmth spreads from my fingertips down my toes as the room fills with a chorus of our sounds. I look down at him, eclipsed blue eyes meeting mine. I can feel myself teetering over the edge, my toes dangling off the cliff as if he was holding the back of my shirt, letting me experience the thrill of dangling but keeping me safe.

"That," I gasp as he pumps his fingers in and out of me. "Don't stop that."

He lets out a slew of gruff curses and I can feel my arousal drip down my thighs, over his hand and chin. I've never felt this before and, as his fingers curl over that spot within me, stars burst through my vision and a ragged moan falls from my lips. He lets me fall with his arms wrapped around me, diving straight over the cliff into waves of euphoria. My legs shake and my toes curl against the carpet as he works me through it all.

Holden sits back and we both catch our breath, slowly letting my leg down and holding onto my thighs to keep me steady. I release the grip I have on his hair and step back catching the sight of his cock, bobbing against his stomach with each heave of his chest. Our gazes meet with the intensity of his burning through my skin in such a way that I can feel the fire in my belly stoke.

I hold out my hand, ignoring the emotions bubbling inside me with everything he's done for me today. For once, I didn't feel broken. Even after reliving that night, giving him every detail. I feel... whole. He is doing that for me, and even looking down at him with his hair all mussed and pupils blown out, I would never be able to express to him how grateful I am.

His hand slips into mine as he stands. Assessing me as I step towards him and rest my palms against his chest. I raise up on my toes and press my lips to his in a fevered kiss that he returns with no question. I'm impressed he still has the control to keep his hands at his sides while still giving me the reins.

"Bed," I say softly against his mouth. His tongue flicks over his bottom lip catching mine. I smirk and press against his chest, pushing him a step backward until his knees catch the edge of the bed. "Sit against the headboard."

He raises a brow and moves to sit on the edge of the bed but not before setting the small giraffe on the nightstand. An overwhelming urge to cry at the tenderness floods me, but I swallow it down, glancing at the animal before landing on a splayed-out Holden. His broad shoulders rest against the headboard and I don't miss the way his hands are clenched into fists. Suddenly the urge to continue to have him keep his hands to himself flies out the window, taking every warring emotion with it.