35. HOLDEN

HOLDEN

N ot touching her is the hardest part of all of this. I have to bite back a moan as she climbs over the edge of the bed. The mattress dips with her sweat-sheened body as she crawls toward me. The image burning into the back of my brain for later. God, the sight of her above me, head tilted back, long hair cascading down her back as she comes. I could die here and now and will be happy. But this? Watching the confidence flow through her as something in her expression changes, her eyes still blown out, but unafraid to take what she needs from me… I’ll do it over and over again.

She glances down at my cock, her tongue wetting her lips as she settles herself between my legs. As much as I want her mouth on me, I also need to be inside her so much that my dick aches. I’m trying so hard not to touch her or myself that when I glance down at it, it almost twitches with anger.

“Can’t decide,” Kadence’s soft sweet voice filters through my thoughts.

I suck in a breath. “Baby, I’m not gonna last very much longer before I need to be inside you.”

The admission earns me a shy smile, one that tugs directly on the little heartstrings I have left. She rests her hands on my thighs, digging her nails into my muscles just enough that the sensation goes straight to my balls. “Maybe I should make you wait then,” she counters, biting that plump bottom lip.

I chuckle. “Give you an inch and you take a mile, darlin’.”

Kadence laughs a real wholehearted laugh that bounces off the walls. “Oh, I plan on taking plenty of inches.” As soon as the words register, she grimaces, scrunching her nose.

My fists unclench as I try to bite back my own laugh. “That was terrible.” I lean forward, pressing my lips to hers.

She smiles knowingly at me, pressing her hand to my chest and pushing me back against the headboard once more.

“I didn’t ask you to kiss me,” she says in a breathy whisper. Her palm rests right over my heart and I know she can feel it racing against her touch.

“Don’t make me wait,” I whisper back, not above begging her at this point. It’s only been an hour since I last felt her clenching and fluttering around me and I need it again.

Kadence smiles again, moving to straddle me as her legs settle on either side of my waist. She lines herself over me and rocks her hips letting her cunt stroke the underside of my cock. I groan, letting my eyes fall shut as my head slams back against the headboard. Her arms snake around my neck.

“Touch me,” Kadence’s whisper forces my eyes open, her eyes glued to mine.

I try to hide the tiny party going on in my chest as I ask, “Are you sure?”

She chuckles, dipping her head as her hands find mine.

“Am I still in control?” Kadence asks, grazing her lips against my pec. She laces her fingers with mine at the same time and drags her lips up my chest over my collarbone. Waves of goosebumps rush over my body as she nips at my skin.

“Always,” I reply with a shaky breath.

Kadence smiles against my neck as she lifts our hands, rocking her hips again. She moans practically in my ear. “Then touch me.”

I can tell her confidence is growing and it makes me proud. If spending all day in bed with her makes her feel powerful, letting her do whatever she wants to me, I’ll do it. Kadence guides my hands over her breasts before unlacing our fingers and snaking her arms around my neck. They’re heavy in my hands. Her soft skin burns underneath my touch and I can feel the heat from her cunt radiating over me. It’s driving me crazy and the need to be inside her is only growing with every gentle roll of her hips.

She continues to trail her lips over my skin before tangling her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck as I begin gently tugging on her pebbled nipples.

“This feels incredible.” Lust drips from her words but I sense something else in them too. Something softer.

I admittedly never take things this slow. I’m all for foreplay, but it’s usually me giving it, not receiving it. If I’m being completely honest with myself, I’ve never wanted to take sex slow with anyone before. I care if the other women got off, sure, but I’ve never wanted more than just one night with them. Not until Kade.

I nudge my nose against the side of her cheek, forcing her to look at me before I capture her lips with mine dragging out a slow kiss. Her tongue darts out, swiping along the seam of my lips and without argument I part them for her. I slide my hands down to her waist, gripping her hips and digging my fingers into her softness.

Kadence pulls back, her gaze burning into mine as our breaths mix. I’m not even inside her yet, and still, I can already feel the tightening of my balls and the muscles in my back straining as I hold off my orgasm.

As if she knows what I’m thinking, I feel her lift her hips and reach between us. I can’t help myself when my knuckles graze her clit pulling a hiss from her lips. She’s soaked, and in return, I’m soaked and covered in her slick.

“You can’t help yourself can you?” She teases through pants, her chest already heaving. I let out a soft laugh as I line myself up with her entrance.

“When you look like this? And you’re practically riding my cock driving me fucking crazy?” I ask, moving my hands back to her hips and guiding her down, slowly filling her. “No, Sunflower, I can’t.”

A grin spreads across my lips when her mouth drops into a soft ‘o’ shape. Her eyes flutter as I fully bottom out. I dip my head, nipping the top of her breasts, sucking at the soft skin as her moans fill the room.

“You feel so fucking good,” I breathe and feel her body melt into mine.

“God, Holden,” she moans, beginning to roll her hips against mine, dragging her clit across my groin. I tangle my hands into her hair, pulling her to me and kissing her again. She tastes so fucking good, like strawberries and mint.

Everything starts falling together. My hips piston into her, unable to keep control anymore. She still has the power to stop everything if she needs to but every time I look at her she’s further gone. She clenches around me, her body trembling softly as the sounds between us grow louder.

“Come for me,” I breathe, reaching for her clit and drawing fast, tight circles around her swollen nub. Kadence lets out a ragged moan as she falls over the edge, taking me with her. My hips stutter beneath her and my head slams back into the headboard again as I groan with my release. Spilling into her as she flutters around me.

Kadence buries her face into my neck, her breathing heavy and hot against my skin. Her body still trembles gently against me. I haven’t felt this satiated in a long time. I run my fingers up and down her back with one hand and wrap my arm around her waist holding her to me.

“Thank you,” she finally whispers after a few moments of quiet silence has settled between us. Kade lifts her head, smiling softly at me through thick lashes. Her hair is tangled from my hands, her lips bitten pink. She glows even more than she did before.

I can’t help myself when I pull her back for another kiss. My lips pressing to hers with a contented sigh. “I’d do anything for you, Kadence,” I whisper against her mouth. “You taking what you need from me when it’s just the two of us is something I’ll always do.”

I notice the familiar glossiness that begins to take over her green eyes. Making them that bright green I love. Her bottom lip trembles and she only responds with a nod, but I’m not going to push her any further than she’s pushed herself.

“We should shower now,” I say softly, kissing the corner of her mouth.

Kadence shakes her head resting it against my shoulder. “Can we just stay like this for a while?” Her voice sounds so quiet with the question. So vulnerable, and my heart aches with the realization that this post-sex cuddling is something she’s probably never experienced.

“Did he do this?” I ask before I can even stop the question from falling from my lips as my hands run up and down her back.

“Do what?” She hums tightly.

I suck in a breath. “Did he hold you after sex?”

I don’t miss the way her body tenses when I clarify, but I give her the space to answer if she wants to. After a few beats of silence, she shakes her head. My hand falls from her back, clenching in frustration before pushing back the annoyance. “I’m sorry,” I offer.

“Don’t be,” She counters, adjusting herself so she can look up at me still resting against my chest, “I’m glad it was you and not him.”

I nod but don’t respond. Instead I settle back into the bed, holding her to me. I need to talk to Cole tomorrow. We have to figure out a plan if Jeremy decides to grow balls and come after her. I was serious when I promised that the prick would have to go through me to get to her. Hell, my trigger finger itches at the idea of putting a bullet between the fucker’s eyes. But I’ll never admit that to Kadence.

She has already had too much pain and death in her life, and if I can help it, I’ll make sure she never has to go through shit like that ever again. Kadence is stronger than she gives herself credit for. She has said multiple times that she doesn’t want anyone to pity her or look at her like she’s a kicked puppy. What she fails to realize is that whenever I look at her, all I see is a survivor, a fighter. Someone stronger than I ever was.

The sound of a cell phone buzzing breaks through the comfortable silence that fell over us. She picks up her head, glancing at me, and her brows furrow.

“Mine’s been dead,” Kadence says softly.

I groan, knowing that it’s one of the guys blowing up my phone. I’m reluctant to leave this spot and lose the warmth that radiates from her body. But I know that if I don’t answer it now, at some point one of them will come bang down her door.

Kadence presses a kiss to my chest before pressing her lips to mine. “You should get that,” she whispers softly. “I’m going to go shower.”

The vibrating stops and a grin spreads across my face as I glance down at her, kissing her again and humming.

“Or,” I dip my head, kissing the column of her throat, “we could ignore it and stay here for a few more quiet minutes.” I circle my hips, feeling myself already getting hard again. She moans, rolling her hips with mine.

“How are you already good to go again?” She laughs softly, a sound I swallow quickly with my lips as I pull her back down to me.

“Well darlin,” I rasp against her mouth, “when I’ve got a very pretty woman straddling my lap who I happen to still be buried in, it makes second” I pause, “no–third rounds that much easier.”

She smirks, sending fireworks up my spine once again. I trail my fingers along her hairline, pushing back the shorter tendrils that frame her face. Just as I move to kiss her again, my phone starts vibrating.

She lets out a sigh dropping her forehead to my chest. “They’re just going to keep calling.”

“I know,” I groan, running my hands down her back before giving her ass a soft smack. “Go shower, I’ll see what they need.”

Kadence lifts her head, giving me one last kiss before she climbs off the bed. I watch her walk into the bathroom, groaning again at the sight of her naked body before she closes the bathroom door.

I’m definitely ready for another round with her but the insistent buzzing of my phone needs to stop before I can take her again. The last thing I want is something to distract me from giving her all of the attention she deserves.

I climb off the bed, sliding into my boxers as quickly as I can before the call ends again. Plucking my phone from my jeans, I glance down at the name flashing across the screen. O’Neil . Sucking in a breath I press the answer sign. “Yeah?”

“ Nash? ”

I make my way back to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it. “Yeah, man, what’s up?”

Cole lets out an exhale on the other end. It had been days since we actually had a conversation between just the two of us. Everything with Kadence has put a strain on our relationship and it hasn’t been from anything that she did.

“ Ma’s calling a family dinner.” My friend's voice is tight and low, doing nothing to temper down the worry crawling across my nerves.

“Okay, Friday?” I ask.

“ Yeah, ” Cole pauses on the other end, “ She says we need a ‘come to Jesus’ moment and figure this shit out between us before we show up. ”

I chuckle, not entirely surprised. The last thing Marlowe wants is the club falling apart, and right now, Cole and I are at the helm of two passing ships ready to collide. She is right, as she usually is. We need to get over our shit in order to protect the club. To protect Kadence. Stokes is making more moves against the other members. Nothing major, just small annoyances that put us in difficult situations. When I found out that Cole had given up Dex for a pointless fucking arrest, I was pissed at how easily he gave up a member. But it was either that or worse.

“What are you doing now?” I ask before I can stop myself.

My eyes flicker to the closed bathroom door, picturing a very naked Kadence covered in bright white bubbles. I hate the idea of leaving her right now, but I want my friendship back and I want Cole’s trust back.

“ Nothin’, man. I’ve been fucking pacing the clubhouse since you both got back. Falcone’s ready to throw me out. Meet me at Lee’s in thirty?”

“Who’s on watch tonight?” I don’t miss the sigh of relief on the other end of the line when I ask instead of denying him.

“ Wolfe and West. But…” Cole pauses, “ Maybe it’s good if you bring Kade. I think I owe her an apology as well.”

I pull the phone from my ear, checking to make sure that I was still talking with Cole on the other end. Cole doesn’t apologize usually. His hard-headedness gets him into bullshit, but that stupid fucking charm usually gets him out of it. “She’s showering, but we’ll be there.”

“ Good, man. I’ll see you in thirty.”

“Yeah.”

The call ends and I stand, tossing the phone onto the mattress before moving to the bathroom door. I knock twice, hearing a soft come in , before a grin spreads across my lips and I step inside to bury myself in the one person who’s taken the time to understand me.