28. KADENCE

KADENCE

“ G ood to see you, Nash.” Dex mocks from behind me.

“I leave and you think that gives you a pass to push up on Kadence?” Holden’s voice is low but booms between us. His eyes are dark with anger but he’s here , in front of me, and that’s all I care about.

Dex’s laugh echoes against the music. “I think you need to take a breath, Nash.”

“Oh I’ve done plenty of breathin’,” he rumbles. “You wanna explain to me why you brought her here?”

I shake my head pulling myself from the daze his presence has put me in. I raise my hand to press to his chest but stop myself. “I’m here with Blake.” I try, but he shoots me a look that forces the words to get stuck in my throat.

Holden shakes his head and takes a step backward, glancing between the two of us. “I know what I saw.”

I raise a brow. “And what was that?”

“Him touching you!” His hand flies up, making me flinch back. I don’t mean to but the movement is so quick that it would have startled anyone. Holden’s eyes go wide, watching me as Dex takes a step forward.

“Hey! Take a breath, Nash, this isn’t what it looks like,” Dex booms.

Holden lets out a breathy, hollow laugh. “Un-fucking-believable. I hope you both will be very happy,” he mutters before turning to the exit.

I shake my head. “Holden!” I yell after him but he’s already marching away from us. I follow him as he pushes the front door of Moon open, making a beeline straight for his bike. The heavy pour of rain makes it hard to see as I burst through the door behind him. “Holden! Stop!”

He turns back to me as he climbs onto his bike. “Go back inside, Kadence.”

I stop in front of his bike, shaking my head. “No.”

Holden stands up. “Go!”

I stomp my foot. Actually stomp my foot like a child and shake my head. “I’m not going anywhere till you let me explain!”

He grabs a hold of his handlebars and leans over the front of his bike. “Explain what? That you’ve been getting cozy with Wolfe in my absence? Hmm? What lies are you about to tell me now?” He bites, venom in his voice.

“I never lied to you!” I yell back at him.

The door to the club slams behind me and I don’t have to look back to know that it’s Dex’s boots crunching in the gravel. I never take my gaze off of Holden. My Holden who came back. My Holden who I’m about to lose, again.

“No,” he agrees and sits back down on the seat of the bike. “ You just didn’t tell me the truth. Do you know how hard it was telling you everything? To be honest, for the first goddamn time in my life with someone?"

I suck in a breath as his words stab my chest in dagger form. His bike roars to life. The sound is more ominous than it ever has been before. “Holden, I wanted to tell you everything I just–”

Blue eyes peer back up at me, his gaze still angry as he stares at me through wet lashes, “Move,” he warns over the engine.

“Where are you going to go?” I ask, my voice turning hoarse trying to yell over the rainfall and the sound of his bike, knowing how pitiful I sound but I don’t care.

“Go. Back. Inside,” he warns again. I round the bike, coming to his side.

“Let me explain.”

He shakes his head, his gaze flickering to Dex, who’s inched his way closer to us. “You had your chance to explain. You actually had a few chances.”

I take a step back, stunned by his words. “I was protecting myself.”

“Good luck with that.” Holden kicks his bike stand and twists his hand, lurching the bike forward. His wheels spin in the mud and gravel before he takes off onto the road.

“God Damnit!” I scream watching him leave.

Dex rests a hand on my shoulder but I pull from his grasp, spinning to face him. I realize I’m drenched, my hair sticks to my face and the dress clings to my body but it doesn’t stop me from thrusting my hand out at him.

“Give me the keys to the truck.”

He shakes his head. “You’ve been drinking, Kade.”

“I am not letting him run away again .” I bite through a clenched jaw, forcing the tears stinging my eyes to stay put. “Give me the keys.”

Dex tilts his head back and sighs just before I press my hands to his chest and shove him. “You told me not to give up on him! You told me to trust him! Give me the keys, Dex!”

He looks shocked at my attempt to move him, but my words must strike a cord because within a moment he’s digging the keys from his pocket and holding them out to me. Hope blooms in my chest, only for a moment, and replaces the grief. I’m not letting him get away with running this time. If he wants me to prove to him that I care…that I want him, I have to do this.

I grab the keys and start marching toward the truck. The ground is slick beneath my boots and the rain is only getting worse. I’m not sure how or where I’m going to find him, but I have a pretty good idea where he’ll hide now that he’s back.

“Don’t do anything stupid!” He yells behind me.

“I already am!” I scream over my shoulder, pulling the door open and forcing the truck to start. I throw it into drive and press my boot to the gas, slinging mud and gravel everywhere as I turn the truck to the road.

I glance in the rearview mirror. Dex has already gone back inside, no doubt to let Blake know what’s happened. A part of me feels bad for leaving her there, but I know Blake will understand.

I head towards the only place I know I’ll find him. The one place that other than the Hounds, only I know about. My heart hammers in my chest as a single taillight comes into view up ahead. Even in the rain, I can tell it’s him, but he’s so far ahead of me I’m afraid he’ll make a turn, and I’ll lose him.

I can’t–won’t lose him this time. I won’t allow him to walk away from this. I won’t let myself walk away from this. This is my chance to explain and if he doesn't want to hear me out then at least I can live with the fact that I tried.

Don’t give up on him.

Dex’s words replay in my mind, giving me fuel to keep my boot firmly pressed to the gas.

It only takes fifteen minutes for me to reach the turn-off Holden has taken me to. My teeth chatter and goosebumps rise on my skin as I make the turn off the road a little too fast that the back wheels fishtail. I tense, quickly correcting the wheel and take a deep breath as I glance towards the pullout. It’s then, in the dim light and flashing clouds above. that I realize I forgot my jacket in the club.

Holden’s bike is parked near the makeshift path that’s been carved out by years of him and his family using it. I pull the tow truck next to the bike, parking it as fast as I can, and climb from the truck.

“Holden!” I yell through the storm, wrapping my arms around myself as the chill from the rain starts to spread through me. When I get no answer I start towards the trail, but with the rain and the trees being so thick I turn back, moving to the utility box on the truck and searching for a flashlight. My hands wrap around the handle. “Yes,” I mutter, switching it on to make sure it works.

I shine the light over the trees, shutting the box and moving to the path. I follow the trail, keeping an eye on my footing as I step over the overturned logs. Saying a silent prayer for deciding against the heels Blake wanted me to wear.

“Holden!” I holler but again no response.

I curse and continue walking. The rain isn’t as bad with the trees covering me but still my skin crawls with goosebumps. After a week and a half of sunshine and blistering hot weather, of course, tonight of all nights is when Mother Nature decides to grace Pine River with a flash flood.

I push through the bushes, my arms red and irritated from the branches scratching at my skin, hissing when one comes back behind me, smacking me on the center of my bare back. I stop for a moment, sucking in a breath as the pain radiates down my spine but force myself forward. Only a few more minutes and I’ll be at the bridge. Even with the rain I can hear the river rushing nearby. The cracking of wood as the wind blows through the trees makes it even harder to hear anything.

As soon as the edge of the bridge comes into view I stop, taking a deep breath before yelling for him again. I wait until I hear something but it’s useless with the white noise around me. I force myself forward until I see him.

“Holden!” I yell, stepping onto the slick wood as it creaks beneath my feet.

He turns toward me, finally hearing me yell. “What the hell are you doing!” He screams through the storm.

“I came to find you!” I yell back, moving toward him but stopping when the metal of the trusses moans around me.

Holden takes a step towards me but halts. “Go home, Kadence!”

“No!” I yell back, my voice hoarse and my throat becoming raw. I take another step towards him, “I’m not giving this up! I need–” I suck in a breath, “I need to explain!”

“There’s nothing to explain! Go back to Wolfe!” He sneers, taking another step toward me. Even now I can see the red around his eyes only highlighting the blue as if his emotions are getting the better of him the same as mine are.

I follow, taking a step toward him feeling the wood shift beneath me before stopping again. “There’s nothing going on, I don’t want Wolfe! I want you !” This gets his attention as he freezes, his eyes trail my goosed skin as I wrap my arms around me again. “I don’t want anyone but you, Holden!”

“You shouldn’t be here!” He finally says, inching towards me.

I do the same, ignoring the cracking of wood. “Yes, I should because all my life I’ve given in. I ran from what scared me the most! I gave up on my life, Holden! I gave up on the things I loved, I gave up my self worth!” I take another step. “But I’m done running and I will be damned if I give up on you !”

Holden’s head drops, his hands fist at his sides again like he’s at war with himself. For a long while we stand in silence, nothing but the sound of rushing water and rain splashing against the wood and metal fill the air around us.

Just look at me. Please, I silently beg him, the tears returning but camouflaged by the rain.

His eyes lift to mine and my breath hitches in my throat. Those eyes I love so much, so full of the things that scare the both of us. The ones that see me . There’s only a few feet in between us now but he’s slowly closing the distance as he moves towards me, only making the sound of my heartbeat drum in my ears that much more.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks, his voice raising but the disdain from before almost gone.

My hands fall from around me and down to my sides as I stare back at him. “Because I was scared.” He closes the distance between us again, he’s close enough to reach and even though my hands are itching to do so, I keep them still. “Because I didn’t want to feel weak anymore.”

Holden shakes his head. “You should have told me.”

I nod. He’s right, I knew he was right the moment that he walked out of the clubhouse a week ago, and I’ve been regretting not telling him since. “I know.”

He stumbles back like the words are a punch to his gut. His hands come to his waist as he stares out at the water for a long time. I take a step towards him, the wood beneath me shifting under my boot but I press on.

“Holden.” I’m so close to him. I raise my hand to reach out to him. “Please.”

Holden tilts his head to me and I know that he knows more than he has seen on the TV. Something tells me he knows deep down what happened. But he never says anything.

“No more secrets,” he says, and I nod furiously in response before he even finishes.

“No more.” I repeat.

His chest heaves as he watches me. A chill runs through my body again, craving the warmth of his as I take another step. The wood beneath me begins to crack louder than it has before and this time I feel the shift. I glance down just as the wood gives out.

“Holden!” I scream, reaching out for him.

He lunges at me, grasping at my fingers as the rain pours down around us. My hand slips from his as I fall through the broken wood, my arm scraping against the rotting bridge.

“Kadence!” He screams after me, his body dropping to his knees as I fall.

Everything around me becomes muffled as soon as I hit the frigid water. It stings my skin as I’m dragged further below the surface of the river.

My scream pierces the water, the flashlight ripping from my grip as my body hits the river bottom. Crashing and rolling against the rocks and submerged branches. I claw at anything I can grab onto, only to be sucked away by the current.

I break the surface, gasping for air until I’m pulled under again, my arms fighting for the surface again. The current only gets stronger and I try holding the small breath I’m able to get, but as my body slams into a log, the air in my lungs leaves me in response and I suck in water.

I scream again, my pleas muffled by the river. The glimpses of moonlight shining through the water go dark and the sounds of rushing water are replaced by the sound of my blood rushing to my ears.

My eyes close as the current carries me. I’m not going to survive this. I’m sure of it and everything I’ve been fighting for, the vision of a future I want with Holden has quickly been washed away with the current and my body slowly giving up on itself.

I tried. I fought.

Fought for him and if this is how I’m going to die, at least I know I tried and for once ran towards the thing I’m scared of.

Love. His love.