Chapter 13

" I 'm so sorry about our present," Lauren said, cringing with mortification. "Michael insisted he had the perfect idea. I knew it was bad when he wanted to go to the liquor store."

Ella laughed. "It's great. Who doesn't want booze and cigarettes at their baby shower?"

Lauren smiled sheepishly. "He swore you'd get it. Something about how you all hung out in Sweden when you and Finn met," she said, biting her lip. "I still wish we had gotten you a Diaper Genie. Someone, please give her another present to take the spotlight off the world's most inappropriate baby gift."

"Well, you're gonna love this next one from your mother," Finn said. "Close your eyes."

She obliged while he held up a framed charcoal drawing Carmen had made. "Open your eyes."

"Oh, wow!" Ella exclaimed, looking at her own serene likeness: holding her baby bump in all her pregnant glory. Finn held it up so the guests could see, to a chorus of oohs, aahs, and gasps.

"That's gorgeous. You look blissful. It captures you entirely," Marni remarked. "Did you pose for it?"

Ella shook her head. "It's a complete surprise. About a month ago, Finn convinced me to let him take nude photos of me, tastefully, of course. He said he wanted to remember what I looked like carrying our little girl."

"Pregnancy has been such a special time for us," Finn explained. "Ella's never been more spectacularly beautiful. I could never forget how radiant she is. The truth is, Carmen and I had conspired. She wanted to commemorate her daughter carrying her granddaughter, so I sent her the photos. Since Carmen couldn't be here today, she shipped the final artwork and I had it framed." He turned to Ella and said, "I thought we could hang it in our bedroom."

She nodded.

"Okay, Ella. Open mine next. It'll lighten the mood," Marni said, handing her a hot-pink gift box.

"Well, the heat is off Lauren. You and Michael did not get me the most inappropriate gift of the day," Ella said, removing a large vibrator from the box.

"It's the top-of-the-line model," Marni said matter-of-factly. She looked quite proud of herself.

"This is the strangest baby shower ever," Ella remarked. "First was that cake shaped like a newborn baby. Slicing into the head really didn't feel right; the red jelly oozing out was fucked."

Finn laughed.

Marni rolled her eyes. "I told you I wanted to get the cake shaped like a big dick. It had two cream-filled balls on either side. Finn vetoed it."

"It's a baby shower, not a Vegas bachelorette party," Finn said.

Marni shrugged. "I thought it made sense to celebrate how the baby got here in the first place. If it helps, the cake was very flattering to you."

Ella giggled. "You're a good friend. We share the same twisted, slightly obscene sense of humor. But a vibrator as a baby shower gift? Really?"

"Actually, it's very practical. I read that orgasms can induce labor. So, if you've had enough and want to get that sucker out of you, I figured that this may be the most expedient way to go," Marni explained.

Everyone laughed.

"Thanks for the thought, but I think Finn has me covered in that department," Ella said.

Finn blushed.

"No doubt," Marni said. "But maybe the poor guy could use a break."

Ella turned to Finn. "What do you think, love? Am I too much to handle now that I'm carrying this little basketball?"

Finn covered his eyes with his hands. "I'm so embarrassed, being that my mother is here and all."

"Don't worry, son. I know how babies are made," Barbara said. "Marni's right about the orgasm thing too. That's how we finally got you out, more than a week past due. We did it on the couch. I was too tired to schlep all the way to the bedroom."

"This just gets worse and worse. Like a ten-car pileup," Finn lamented, his face in his hands. "But for the record, Marni, if Ella needs help in that department, I'm more than capable."

"So I've heard," Marni replied with an exaggerated wink.

"Okay, the next gift, please, before my husband flees the scene," Ella said, giggling.

"You can save Dante's present for later. It's just lube and some accessories—we went shopping together," Marni said.

Ella laughed and shook her head.

"Not exactly the most conventional shower gifts so far," Marni commented, reading the list she had been dutifully recording. "A bottle of bourbon and carton of smokes from Michael and Lauren, a children's philosophy book from Jade, which your kid can't read until at least high school, a nude portrait from your mother, and a vibrator with all the accoutrements. But then again, you are this generation's most infamous sex and pleasure writer, so what did you expect?"

"Well, we did get some more traditional gifts. Willow sent a princess-themed mobile for the crib, Charlotte sent an engraved silver rattle, and of course Barbara made us that beautiful handsewn baby blanket," Ella said, smiling at her mother-in-law. "I can't wait to see what's in that last box. Something surprising, no doubt."

"Here you go," Marni said, handing it to her.

"Oh, it's from Jean. He sent it from Paris." Ella opened the box and removed an envelope. She read the card aloud: " Ma chérie . You know my view of human existence is rather dark. As far as I can see, the human race is doomed and the most we can hope for is a good fuck every once in a while to take the edge off." She paused as everyone laughed. "Witnessing firsthand the love you and Finn share makes me think that perhaps there is more, perhaps all is not lost. Wishing you both great joy with your impending arrival. As for the gift, on each of my shoots, I ask everyone in the cast and crew to sign the title page of my copy of the script. I save them all in my personal archive. Given how you and Finn fell in love on location and what we all meant to each other, I thought you two would like to have this to share with your child." She removed the tissue paper from the box and took out something encased in Bubble Wrap. She tore away the packaging to reveal a framed script from Celebration , signed by all their friends. Albie's signature was in the center with a heart-shaped swirl under his name. Ella's eyes flooded.

Finn leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I never would have figured Jean to be so sentimental. What an amazing gift."

Ella wiped her eyes and said, "We can hang it in Betty's room so, when she's old enough, we can tell her our story, and hers."

"DID YOU ENJOY YOUR SHOWER, SWEETHEART?" Finn asked as they snuggled on the couch with their cat after all the guests had left.

"Very much. I had no idea it was coming either. With the due date less than two weeks away, I just figured no one had planned a shower, which would have been fine."

"Not a chance. Your mother needed time to make her present, and Marni thought you'd be more surprised this way."

"She really likes you, you know, Marni. When we first moved in together, she had her doubts, being a skeptic about relationships and all. She thought you were too good to be true and that I'd turn into something I'm not, lose who I am. But now even she sees that we're made for each other."

"That's because we are," he said, pecking her on the lips. He chuckled. "Even though I decided to host the shower in our home, she insisted on taking care of all the details. I did what I could to steer her toward something respectable, but it was impossible. She's a trip."

"It was perfect. Felt like me, us." She gave him a smooch. "I still argue that the cake was totally fucked."

"That it was," he agreed as they both laughed. "But I would have died if she'd have gone with the dick cake in front of my mother. Oh, she also suggested a cake shaped like two breasts—you know, to celebrate your changing body. Holy shit!"

Ella laughed. "Sounds about right." She got quiet for a moment and rubbed her belly. "Something I ate really didn't agree with me. I've been having indigestion, and it's just getting worse and worse. It was probably that demented cake."

"Baby, how long have you felt that way?"

"About an hour. I didn't want to say anything and spoil the fun. I'm sure I'll feel better soon."

"Maybe I should take you to the hospital to be safe."

"Don't be silly. I'm just going to go take a little nap. Help me up."

Finn stood up and took her hands. As she rose, she doubled over. "Oh, jeez. It really is getting worse. You don't think this could be labor, do you?"

"Sweetheart, let's go to the hospital, just in case."

"All right," Ella conceded. "Maybe that's not such a bad idea."

"I'll grab your suitcase and call Dr. King on the way."

"YOU'RE TWO CENTIMETERS DILATED," Dr. King said, peeking up from between Ella's legs. "This could be a long haul, but I'd like to admit you for now. The nurse will continue to monitor you."

"Thank you," Ella replied.

Dr. King left the room, and Finn took Ella's hand. "How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"I'm okay, but . . ."

"What, love?"

"I've loved being pregnant so much. I know it's a slog for a lot of women and they suffer through it, but it's been the best time of my whole life. I can't even describe how good I've felt, in my body and spirit. The sense of wholeness, oneness—it's inexplicable. Being so close to Betty, it's been better than I ever could have dreamed. I'm a little sad that it's coming to an end. Is that weird?"

He massaged her hand. "I've loved going through every minute of it with you too, so I can only imagine what it's been like for you. But there's not a doubt in my mind that the best is yet to come. We'll finally get to meet our little one; we've dreamed of her for so long."

She smiled and they stared at each other. The moment was broken as Ella started to writhe in pain at another contraction.

"Breathe, baby. Like this," he gently instructed, breathing the way they had been taught in their classes.

When the contraction passed, she fell back onto her pillow. "I'm okay," she said.

Finn kissed her forehead.

Several hours later, Dr. King said, "Four centimeters."

"That's it?" Ella asked, sweating and in pain.

"You're progressing nicely, but like I said, this is going to take time, her being your first baby and all. It will be many hours."

"How do women do this?" Ella groaned.

"We can give you an epidural," Dr. King said. "It will make it easier."

She shook her head. "That's not our plan."

"If you change your mind, let us know. I'll be back to check on you later. You're doing great."

Ella looked at Finn and said, "I've heard so many women say that when they were in labor, they looked at their husbands and thought they'd never want sex again. I never understood."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I do now. The most you can hope for is a blow job from time to time, and even that's getting less likely by the second."

He chuckled. "At least you haven't lost your sense of humor."

"Who says I'm kidding?"

Finn smiled and gently ran a cool compress against her forehead. "You are spectacular, and I love you beyond words."

"I see through your foolish flattery."

He laughed.

Ella's expression turned serious. "Finn, I'm a little worried. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be, and it's taking so long. I'm not even halfway there! I know we have a natural birth plan, but what if I can't do it?"

"Then you'll get the epidural. Plans change. We'll do this any way you want. However you're most comfortable."

"That's not what I want. Please, you have to help . . ." She trailed off, leaned forward, and screamed softly as another contraction came.

When it passed, Finn said, "Do you want me to sit behind you and rub your back? We haven't tried that yet."

She nodded.

He sat behind her, his legs wrapped around her, and massaged her back, whispering sweet affirmations in her ear.

"That feels good," she said.

He kissed the back of her head. "You can do this. I'm here. We're together."

"SEVEN CENTIMETERS? THAT'S ALL? How can that be? It's been eons since I was at four!" Ella howled, flailing back on her pillow and writhing in pain in the sheets drenched with her sweat.

"I know it's hard," Dr. King said, "but you're getting there. Keep it up with the breathing exercises. I'll be back to check on you."

As soon as she left the room, Ella exploded into tears. "I can't do it. I can't do it," she cried.

"Shh . . ." Finn whispered, caressing her forehead. "You are so strong. What you're doing to bring our baby into the world is incredible. I'm in awe. I wish I could take the pain away."

"If I don't make it, promise me you'll make sure Betty is okay," she cried.

"Baby, you're going to get through this. This pain is only temporary."

She shook her head, tears falling uncontrollably from her eyes. "Women die in childbirth all the time. I'm afraid that's what's happening here. That's what it feels like. This doesn't feel right. I'll never even get to meet her," she sobbed, dissolving into hysterics.

"Sweetheart . . ."

"Oh, God!" she screamed, leaning forward as another contraction came.

"Breathe, baby. Breathe," Finn encouraged.

Ella continued wailing until the contraction ended. She looked up at Finn, her face a red, blotchy mess. "Please, you have to listen to me. You have to listen to me."

"I'm listening, sweetheart."

"If there's a choice to be made, save Betty."

"Ella . . ."

"Promise me, Finn. Promise me right now."

"Okay, baby. I promise."

"And if I'm not here to raise her, make sure she knows how much I loved her," she sputtered in between her sobs. "Find out who she is. Let her be her own person. Celebrate her for who she is. Help her to discover her passions and follow them fearlessly, whatever they are. Be patient and kind, even when it's hard. Don't ever break her spirit. Enjoy all the precious moments," she choked out, her tears gushing like a waterfall. "Blue eye shadow. No one ever looks good in blue eyeshadow, but if she paints it all over her eyelids and squeezes herself into spandex, tell her she looks pretty." A smile flickered across his face and he almost laughed, but she continued, "Teach her to have an open heart, to love with everything she has. And you have to love whoever she loves. Make sure she knows that love is all that matters. Promise me, Finn."

"I promise you, baby. I promise," he said, leaning down and kissing her sweaty forehead. "But in my heart, I know you'll be here to teach her all that yourself. Just breathe."

ELLA HAD BEEN PUSHING FOR OVER an hour, beads of sweat dripping from her brow as she gripped Finn's hand.

"Ella, bear down and push. I know you're exhausted, but you're in the home stretch. I need you to push. She's almost here," Dr. King said.

"I can't do it. I can't do it. I have nothing left," Ella muttered. She looked into Finn's eyes, but she was barely able to focus. "I'm sorry. I can't."

"Yes, you can. You can do this. Betty is almost here," he assured her. "Push, Ella. Push."

She pushed as hard as she could.

"I see her head," Dr. King said. "Push, Ella. One more big push."

Ella bore down with all her might, and through an earth-shattering scream, she pushed.

Suddenly, she felt a wave of relief. "Congratulations," Dr. King said just as the room filled with the sound of a newborn's cry. "She's a healthy baby girl."

"Oh my God. She's so tiny, so beautiful," Finn said, choking back tears.

"Here, Dad, you can cut the cord," Dr. King said.

The nurse helped him cut the cord, and then she put the baby on Ella's chest. "Oh, you sweet girl," Ella said, hot tears streaming down her face. She looked at Finn. "You were right. The best was yet to come. She's perfect."

"She sure is," he agreed, rubbing Ella's hair. Washed in a look of love, tears cascaded silently down Finn's face.

"She's so fair. Look, she has your lips," Ella observed.

"And big, beautiful eyes like you."

"But they're blue like yours."

He kissed Ella's forehead, looked deeply into her eyes, and said, "This is the most beautiful sight I've ever seen, the two of you together. Thank you for bringing her into the world. You are spectacular, and I love you with all my heart."

Ella sniffled, looked down at their little bundle, and said, "We love you so much. Welcome to the world, Betty Sinclair Forrester."