Chapter 12

" F inn, I need you," Ella said, grabbing his bicep to pull him closer. She guided his hand between her legs. "Oh, yes," she moaned with delight.

"That's it, baby, that's it. Come here," he said, sitting up and pulling her into his lap. He swept her hair back and started kissing her ear, neck, and mouth.

"I'm so in love with you," she whispered.

"Oh my God," Finn groaned as he held Ella's hips and thrust against her until they both let out sounds of bliss. They held each other tightly, trying to catch their breath. "Lie down with me," he whispered.

Finn caressed her arm and planted a soft kiss on her mouth. "I can't believe how many times we make love each day."

"There's nothing else I want to do," she said.

"These pregnancy hormones are incredible!"

"Every time you even brush past me, I just have to have you. You are the sexiest man I've ever seen, and you're all mine."

He blushed. "This is the most erotic time in my life. I've never been so attracted to someone in my life, or so in love."

"The magnetic pull between us is so strong. I wondered what it would be like, my body changing, but I've never felt better, more alive, or closer to you. Or this sensual," she said, running her finger down his face.

"You just get more and more beautiful by the day. I love this sweet little baby bump that's starting to pop," he said, rubbing her tummy.

She smiled. "At our appointment this afternoon, they'll do an ultrasound. We need to decide whether we want to know the sex. It's a little early, but sometimes they can tell by now."

"It's up to you, sweetheart. I'll follow your lead."

"I never thought I'd be someone who would want to know. True surprises are so rare in life," she said.

"Some people find out so they can design the nursery, but you've never been a planner, and I sure as hell can't imagine we're going the traditional pink or blue route."

Ella giggled. "That's for sure. It's just . . ."

"What, sweetheart? Do you want to find out?"

"I feel so close to you and to our baby, closer than I ever thought I could be to anyone. We're connected in a way that's impossible to explain."

"I know. I feel it too," Finn said, leaning his forehead against hers.

"It would be nice if our baby had a name. Bonding, you know?"

"Then let's find out," he said with a smile.

She kissed him lightly.

"The first time we spoke about having a family, soaking in that bubble bath, you said you fantasized that we'd have three children. Two girls, and then a boy. Do you still picture it that way?" he asked.

"Yes, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that we're doing it together."

"If we had a daughter, we said we'd call her Betty. We never came up with a name for a boy."

"I have an idea I think you'll like," Ella said, "but let's wait until we need a name."

"Okay."

"You know what can't wait, though?"

"What's that?"

"Me. I need you right now, so I hope you're ready for the next round," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him passionately.

"MRS. FORRESTER, I AM A LITTLE concerned about your weight. By the eighteenth week, I would have expected you to have gained a little more than you have. Usually, we see a two-to-four-pound weight gain in the first twelve weeks, and then a pound or two each week after, so you're below the typical benchmark. Have you been eating the recommended daily calories we discussed?" Dr. King asked.

"Yes," Ella replied, looking alarmed. "I've never eaten so much in my life! I've made a point of it. I'm exercising, running and doing yoga, which you said was safe since I was already athletic, but I'm not overdoing it. I don't know why . . ."

"Relax," Dr. King said, smiling warmly. "You have an ultra-lean body type to begin with, and some women don't really start to gain weight until later in pregnancy. You may be one of those lucky women who naturally carries small. Let's just keep an eye on it."

"All right," Ella replied. "I just started to feel the baby move a few days ago. Little flutters, like a butterfly whizzing around. Finn can't feel it yet. Is that normal?"

"Yes, perfectly normal. It will probably be a few more weeks until the baby is large enough and their kicks are strong enough for someone touching your belly to feel it. Now, would you two like to see your child?" she asked.

"We can't wait," Finn said with a grin.

"Please lie back and lift your gown. I'm going to rub this jelly on your tummy. Sorry if it's a little cold."

Finn held Ella's hand, and they smiled at each other with joyful anticipation.

"Okay, I need to push down to get a clear image, so this could be a bit uncomfortable. Ah, there's your baby."

"Oh my God," Finn muttered. He looked at Ella, and their eyes welled up.

"That's our baby," Ella mumbled, smiling through her tears.

"Let's listen to the heartbeat," Dr. King said as a beautiful thumping noise filled the room.

Finn leaned down and kissed Ella's forehead.

"Would you like to know the sex? Your baby isn't shy and I have a clear view."

"Yes, please," Ella replied.

"Congratulations, Mom and Dad!" Dr. King said. "It's a girl!"

"Betty!" Finn and Ella both exclaimed as tears slid down their cheeks.

FIVE WEEKS LATER, ELLA WAS working in her office when Finn knocked on the door and let himself in. "I'm sorry to interrupt. How are my girls?"

"Happy to see you. Isn't that right, Betty?" she said, patting her stomach. "How did filming go today?"

"Fine. They took forever setting up the shot, so I spent most of the day hanging out in my trailer and reading baby books. We're still on schedule to wrap in four weeks."

"Good. Then we'll work on the nursery. Lorraine and I have so many ideas, and we can enjoy some time alone before our little one arrives."

"I just wanted to let you know that dinner is ready. Joyce said she can keep things warm if you like. There's no rush."

"Heavens, I completely lost track of time," Ella said, noticing it had gotten dark out.

"Making progress on your book?" he asked.

She nodded. "Still just notes, but I've been writing about the triad of love between partners and their children. It's so abstract, yet material in ways I'd never understood before. Every idea leads to a new question. For instance, when we love so deeply, where do we end and where does the other begin? That's going to be the centerpiece of the book."

"And what do you think the answer is?"

She shrugged. "Stay tuned."

He laughed and said, "Well, let me know when you figure it out."

"You'll be the first to know. I should warn you, I have a new section called ‘Erotic Motherhood.' It may be a bit risqué. You know how I can be, pushing the bounds and all. Let's just say, you inspired me."

Finn's cheeks turned pink as he crossed the room to her, leaning down to give her a passionate kiss. "I don't want to disturb you. Find me when you're ready for dinner."

"I'm ready now. I always want to be where you are. Besides, Betty is ravenous," she said, patting her tummy. She closed her laptop and rose. "Oh, Betty," she said with a suddenness.

"Ella, what is it?"

"Our sweet girl is kicking furiously. Feels like acrobatics. Here, feel," she said, placing his hand on her belly.

A huge grin spread across Finn's face. "I can feel her. I . . . I . . ."

She ran her fingers through his hair. "Amazing, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is." He crouched down and spoke to the baby bump. "Your mama and I love you so much, Betty. We've loved you since you were just a dream."

"Oh, did you feel that?" Ella asked. "She's doing cartwheels now."

He smiled and kissed her belly.

"WHAT DO YOU FEEL LIKE THIS MORNING?" Joyce asked.

"Avocado toast with poached eggs, please. Ooh, and I think I'll snack on this while you're making it," Ella replied, retrieving an apple from the fruit bowl. She sat on a barstool, patted her belly, and said, "I'm so hungry in the mornings. Betty just can't wait until breakfast."

"Has she been kicking a lot?" Joyce asked.

Ella nodded. "Ever since she started last week, it's like she can't stop."

Joyce smiled and went to the refrigerator to fetch the eggs and bread.

"I'll grab an avocado," Ella said, rising. "Oh, jeez."

"A big kick?" Joyce asked, turning to look.

"No . . . I . . . I must have stood up too quickly. I feel a bit woozy, and . . ." Before Ella could complete her thought, she fainted. Joyce rushed to break her fall, catching her limp body.

"CUT!" THE DIRECTOR YELLED.

"What the hell was that?" Finn asked his costar. "We were in the middle of a scene."

The director hurried over to Finn and quietly said, "Someone from your house just called. There's an emergency with your wife. She's been taken to the hospital by ambulance."

The color drained from his face as he sprinted off the set without a word.

FINN BURST INTO THE EMERGENCY room and saw Joyce. He ran over, his face flushed. "What happened?"

"We were hanging out in the kitchen, making breakfast. She said she felt dizzy, and then she just fainted. Luckily, I broke her fall," Joyce said, her face lined with worry. "Her doctor met us here. I haven't heard anything yet. She's in room 217, down that hall and on the left."

Finn flew down the corridor and into Ella's room, where she was sitting in bed, eating crackers.

"I'm okay," she said as he raced to her side. "The baby too. They did an ultrasound."

He threw his arms around her, rubbing her head, and she held him tightly. Eventually, he pulled back and took her hand in his. "What did the doctor say?"

"Nothing yet, really. She just did the ultrasound, which was fine, and she said she'd be back in a few minutes. Finn, what if . . . what if something is wrong with the baby, and . . ."

"Shh. There's nothing wrong with Betty. Let's just wait until we know more."

"But what if . . ."

They were interrupted when Dr. King came into the room. "Sorry about the delay," she said. "I was just ordering a few tests for you. I'm glad your husband is here."

"Doctor, what's going on? What would cause my wife to faint?" Finn asked.

"That's what we're going to try to figure out. Ella, have you felt lightheaded before?"

"Yes, every once in a while for the past few weeks, if I get up too quickly or something like that," Ella replied.

Finn looked at her, surprised. "Sweetheart, why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought it was normal. I didn't realize . . . I didn't know . . ."

"Ella," Dr. King interjected, trying to keep them from panicking, "how have you felt otherwise? Any pain, cramps, other discomfort?"

Ella shook her head. "No, nothing like that. I've felt great. Sometimes I get a little tired or I feel like my energy is a bit low, but that's all."

"What about nausea?"

Ella shook her head. "Not at all. Honestly, I've never felt better."

"Nausea can cause some women to avoid eating. You're still well below what we typically see for weight gain. Are you getting the recommended daily caloric intake we discussed?"

"Yes," Ella replied.

"Are you sure you're getting proper nutrition?" Dr. King asked. "If you're undereating, it would explain these bouts of lightheadedness and low energy."

"That's not it. There must be something else, something really wrong," Ella said, fear etched all over her face.

"We'll get to the bottom of this. I know it's difficult, but please try not to worry. The ultrasound was totally normal; her heartbeat is strong. A nurse will come by in a few minutes to take you to the lab for some blood work. I'll check on you afterward, and if you're feeling better, we'll spring you from this place."

"All right," Ella said.

As soon as the doctor left, Finn took a deep breath and left a lingering kiss on Ella's forehead. "Sweetheart, you know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world, and I love your pregnant body," he said, placing a hand on her belly. "I'm so attracted to you and I always will be. Nothing is more important than your health and Betty's health. It's natural to gain weight, and . . ."

"What are you saying?" she snapped.

"Just that you've always been so thin and toned. I can understand if maybe you're a little anxious about your body changing. But you don't need to be, and—"

"You think I'm not eating enough? That I'm purposefully undereating because of some vain beauty standard?"

"I don't think you're vain at all, just that maybe you're concerned about . . ."

"You don't trust me," Ella said, shaking her head in hurt and anger. "How could you think I would put anything above our baby's health? You're not listening to me. The doctor isn't listening to me," she said as her eyes filled with tears. "I've been eating just like I'm supposed to be. It has to be something else. There might be something wrong with the baby, and . . ."

"Ella . . ."

Just then, a nurse came in. "I'm ready to take you to the lab for your blood work, Mrs. Forrester."

"I'll go with you," Finn said.

"Stay here," Ella insisted, looking away from him.

He sighed, kissed her forehead, and said, "I'm sorry I upset you."

The nurse helped her into a wheelchair and they left. Finn wandered out to the waiting area and found Joyce, who was wringing her hands with worry. She jumped up and asked, "How are Ella and the baby?"

"They're both okay. The doctor is running some tests, and then Ella will probably be released." He paused and said, "Joyce, I haven't been home much since filming began. Has Ella been eating well?"

"Yes. She used to just have breakfast and dinner; she'd be too busy with work to stop for lunch, so I would just bring afternoon tea to her office. Ever since she found out she's pregnant, she's been having me make her three meals a day, plus a couple of snacks. Instead of tea, she has a green juice every afternoon for extra folic acid for the baby. She still likes to eat clean—fish, lean meats, and lots of fresh veggies—but she's added more carbs to her diet too, like multigrain toast."

Finn huffed and said, "Thank you."

"I've read up on nutrition during pregnancy. I think I'm well-versed. Did I do something wrong?" Joyce asked.

"No, not at all. I did."

He returned to Ella's room and waited until the nurse brought her back. When they were alone again, he stroked her forehead and said, "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I was grasping at straws, desperately trying to find an answer, something we could fix. I'm just scared."

"You didn't trust me. Do you know how hurtful that is?" Ella asked. "You broke our pact. We promised that our relationship would always be at the center of our lives."

"I do trust you. I'm so sorry. Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do. Please, Ella, let's just focus on making sure that you and Betty are both well. Let's focus on how much we love each other and how much we love her. Nothing else matters."

She nodded.

Dr. King came into the room and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"All right, I'm going to discharge you. Please take it easy for a day or two. Skip your workouts. If you feel dizzy, lie down. A fall could be dangerous for you and the baby. I've put a rush on the labs, and I'll call you later today with the results. If nothing out of the ordinary turns up, just continue taking your prenatal vitamins and make sure you eat and sleep well. We'll take it from there."

After the doctor left, Finn noticed Ella's morose expression and realized she needed to be cheered up. He kissed her temple and said, "I can't wait to get my girls home so I can spoil you rotten. I'll be at your beck and call."

She smiled dimly.

"How's Betty?" he asked, placing his hand on her belly. "This has been an adventurous day. Has she been kicking up a storm?"

"It kicked a little while ago," she said despondently.

Finn winced, but he tried not to show it.

"Please hand me my clothes," Ella said.

ELLA SHUFFLED INTO THEIR BEDROOM, Finn following closely behind.

"Are you hungry, sweetheart? I can ask Joyce to fix you something."

She shook her head. "It's not because I'm not eating. They gave me a banana and crackers at the hospital, and I'm just . . ."

"I know, baby," he said, embracing her. "Why don't we change into our comfy pajamas and slip into bed. Production of the film is on hold indefinitely so I can stay with you. Family first always. We can spend the next couple of days just lounging around and watching movies. Your choice."

"I'm not an invalid," she protested, still barely meeting his eyes.

"Of course not, but the doctor said you should take it easy."

"She didn't say I need total bed rest."

"Come here," Finn said, guiding her to the edge of the bed. "Please sit." She obliged and he took her hand. "Ella, something inside of me fundamentally changed when I found out you're pregnant. It made me feel fiercely protective of you. It's innate, impossible to explain. Today, when I got that phone call . . ." He stopped to shake his head. "I've never been so scared in all my life. Even if I'm overreacting, please indulge me. Just stay in bed for a day or two. I'll stay with you the whole time. Please, for me."

"Fine," she grumbled. "I need to use the bathroom."

A few minutes later, wearing fleece pajamas, she joined Finn in bed. "I'm tired. I'm going to take a nap," she said, lying down with her back to him.

He cradled his body against hers and draped his arm over her.

Two hours later, Ella woke up, Finn still firmly pressed against her. She turned to face him, and he asked, "How's my beautiful wife feeling?"

"Fine."

"How's our little girl?" he asked, putting his hand on her tummy.

"It's fine," she mumbled.

"Oh, Ella," he said, running his fingertips down her face. "Sweetheart, please talk to me. I know what you're doing."

She furrowed her brow.

"You're not using her name anymore. You're using the most detached language you possibly can. I first noticed it in the hospital, but I'd hoped it was just a slip under the stress. I know you, baby. This is what you do when you're scared. You pull away, retreat into yourself, try to make yourself love less. But we have each other and we always will, so you don't need to do that. Let me help you."

"Finn . . ."

"Don't do this. Not with Betty. Please, baby. Lean on me. I'm here."

Ella burst into tears. Finn pulled her close and she rested her head on his chest, sobbing. "When they were rushing me to the hospital, I thought I might lose her. I'm terrified something is really wrong. The more I love her, the more it will hurt," she sputtered in between sobs.

"Oh, sweetheart," he said, rubbing her head. "I was scared too. For both of you. But in my heart, I know she's okay. The ultrasound confirmed it. What she needs now is our love, our boundless love."

She sniffled and pulled back to look at him. He used his fingers to gently wipe away her tears.

"Ella, my partner, my love. We already learned this lesson. You said that when you tore yourself out of my arms in Sweden, it was the most painful experience of your life. Trying to detach yourself from me didn't ease the pain; it amplified it. When we came back together, we made the decision to love fearlessly, with everything we have. That's what we need to do now."

"Okay. You're right. I'm sorry," she said, more tears falling.

"Shh . . ." he said, wiping her tears and kissing her forehead. "You have nothing to apologize for. I can only imagine how frightening it was. I'm so sorry I wasn't there by your side. And about what happened in the hospital . . ."

"It's okay. You were just responding to what the doctor said."

"It's not okay, and I'm so sorry. I was scared, feeling helpless, desperate to make things better. You're already the most incredible mother—the way you take care of yourself, the way you take care of our sweet girl. I should have trusted you implicitly. Please forgive me."

She kissed him softly. "There's nothing to forgive. I love you."

"I love you with all my heart."

They shared a quiet moment, but the silence was broken when the phone rang. Finn glanced at the incoming number and said, "It's Dr. King."

"Put it on speaker," Ella said, sitting as straight as a board.

"Hello, Dr. King. Ella and I are both on the line."

"We got your blood work back and found our culprit. Ella, you have extremely low iron, which explains the dizzy spells."

"I don't understand. I've been eating—"

"Low iron isn't uncommon. It may have already been an issue for you without causing any noticeable symptoms. Pregnancy can exacerbate it in many women. A fetus is like a parasite, sucking up all the nutrients we take in."

"So I didn't do anything wrong?" Ella asked.

"Not at all," Dr. King replied.

Ella's eyes became watery, and she exhaled slowly. Her posture visibly relaxed. "I'm sorry. We're still here."

"The good news is that this problem is easily remedied. Start taking a daily iron supplement. They're available over the counter. And pack as much iron into your diet as you can."

"Okay, I will. Thank you, Doctor," Ella said.

"Take it easy. Bye."

Finn hung up the phone, and Ella exploded into tears again. He held her in a comforting embrace and said, "Oh, baby. This is great news. It's nothing serious."

"I'm just so happy Betty is okay. She's okay, she's okay."

FINN JUMPED OUT OF BED TO ANSWER a knock on the door as Ella watched the end credits roll. "Jason stopped by with the iron pills, and I've made you lunch," Joyce said, carrying a bed tray, which she placed in front of Ella.

"Thank you. This soup smells delicious," Ella said.

"I thought soup would be soothing on a day like today. It's an iron-rich twist on Italian wedding soup: beef broth with small meatballs, potatoes, and lots of kale for folic acid. There's a side of my homemade quinoa crackers too. Later, if you want something sweet, I've made cookies loaded with healthy ingredients. You can have them with cashew milk, which I read is also high in iron." Joyce turned to Finn and said, "I'll bring a tray up for you too so you can eat together."

"Thank you, Joyce," Finn replied, "for everything."

"Mmm, this is so good," Ella said, slurping a big spoonful. "Sorry, I couldn't wait. Betty's hungry."

Finn chuckled. "So, what do you want to watch next? A thriller? An indie?"

"How about a rom-com? That way we're guaranteed love, laughs, and a happy ending."

"ELLA," FINN SAID QUIETLY, rubbing her hair.

"Hmm?" she mumbled, barely opening her eyes.

"I'm sorry to wake you. I have an early call time and . . ."

"What?" she asked through a yawn.

"I just wanted to make sure you're still okay with me going back to work."

"Uh-huh. I've never felt better. It's amazing how quickly those supplements helped. No dizzy spells the last couple of days, and my energy is way up," she said as another yawn slipped out.

He laughed.

"Well, when I'm allowed to sleep, that is," she said.

"Go back to sleep. Call if you need anything at all. I'll have my phone on, even when we're filming."

"Uh-huh. Have a great day," she said, closing her eyes.

He kissed her forehead. "You too, my love. Be brilliant and take care of our girl."