Chapter Twenty-Five

Gage

" I can't handle this anymore. I don't know what to do to help him," I tell Max. I've just found out Ash came back from his shift at the grocery store. Marie texted me, saying he's been acting all withdrawn again. It's breaking my fucking heart that he won't come to me. That he doesn't ask me to be there for him. But his message is loud and clear. He's been shutting me out.

"It's been over a week. He doesn't make eye contact. He speaks only in hushed whispers, barely uttering more than a few words. I dunno what to do."

"Yeah, he's in bad shape," Max agrees, his voice filled with worry. "He's been ignoring Jax's messages as well. Any idea what happened?"

Behind the bar, I load up freshly washed glasses from the dishwasher, preparing them for tonight.

"All I know is that he and Jace argued. Ash said some stuff that seemed to upset Jace. In response, he lashed out at Ash, unleashing a barrage of cutting remarks that left him devastated."

"Thought something was off about that kid at the reopening. They've been friends for years, haven't they?" Max rubs at his scruff, a serious frown between his brows.

"As far as I'm aware, yeah. We've been getting close, but he hasn't shared a lot about his life before. Has Ash said anything to Jax about it?"

"Jax is loyal and would never tell me anything if it meant betraying someone's trust," Max shrugs.

And I wouldn't expect him to. "It's killing me to see him like this. He picks at the plates of food I leave for him, but it seems he never has the appetite to finish it. By the time I'm done at the bar, he's locked himself in his room."

He was supposed to perform a set on Friday night, but unfortunately, I had to cancel. Thankfully, Jax knows his way around the sound system and got his phone hooked up to play music. Jax also took charge of organizing the karaoke on Wednesdays, which turned out to be a big hit.

I'm expecting another impressive turnout for tomorrow night's event, leaving me with no spare time.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, feeling the pressure building, and let out a tired sigh.

"Hey, why don't you let me and Jax take over tonight?" Max proposes, clearly eager to lend a hand. "We can run the bar. That way, you can go up and see if you can get him to talk. Maybe order a pizza too?"

"I can't ask you to do that," shaking my head.

"You didn't ask, numbnuts. I offered. And I know Jax will be on board."

"What if he refuses to leave his room? I've never been in this situation before. You know me, I only think about myself."

"Usually, I'd agree with you on that," Max smiles. "But I can see you're really torn up about all of this, and I think you're better at caring about someone else than you give yourself credit for. Ash sees something special in you, and he needs you right now."

Max is right. I need to step up and be the person he can rely on. Going through the process of coming out as bi without the support of your best friend must be tough on top of the falling out they've just had. Ash must feel like he's carrying the weight of the world right now.

"Alright, if you're really cool with it, I think I'll go see how he's doing." I hand over the keys to the bar so Max can lock up. "If you need anything..."

"I won't."

"But if you do..."

"Then I know where to find ya."

Upon entering the front door, I come across Ash, sound asleep on the sofa, curled up in the fetal position, his back turned to me. Quietly slipping off my shoes, I approach him. It seems he was watching the Gay Bachelor when he fell asleep. I knew he liked the show more than he let on.

My boy looks so peaceful, just lying there. I park myself next to him, toss the blanket on top of him, and casually drape my arm over the back of the sofa to make sure I don't disturb him.

Three minutes. That's all I can handle before reaching out to touch him. His beautiful face is visible from where I sit, yet I can't help but notice the dark rings under his eyes. Gently, I stroke his hair, my fingers grazing the stubble on his cheek that has grown because of his lack of self-care.

Restless, he stirs and mumbles in his sleep, his voice filled with anguish, desperately pleading for it to stop before drifting back off.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" I whisper.

He cries out again, his voice filled with desperation. "Please stop!"

I can't stand it anymore, so I give him a gentle shake. "Wake up, Ash. Everything's alright," Surprised, he suddenly rises and spins around, spotting me.

"Gage," he cries, his eyes filled with torment.

"I'm here. You're okay, sweetheart. Come here." With sadness pouring off him, he climbs into my lap and buries his face in my shoulder, letting his tears run free.

While he breaks my heart, I whisper soothingly to him, "It's okay, baby. I'll protect you. Don't worry, nothing can hurt you now. I'm here."

Wrapping the blanket around him as tightly as possible, I hold him close as he comes apart in my arms.

After a while, he slows down and lets out a series of hiccups. I sweep his hair away from his eyes and plant a tender kiss on his forehead.

"Are you okay? I'm worried about you," I ask him, my eyes fixed on his face, searching for any hint of an answer.

"Yeah," he says, sniffing. He wipes his eyes, trying to clear away the stray tears. "No," he then adds.

"You up for talking about it?" He shakes his head. "Alright, wanna watch some TV instead?"

He shakes his head a second time.

"You know I can't help you if you don't talk to me, right?"

He lets out a soft sigh and draws me closer, seeking warmth and comfort. "Okay, we can just sit here till you're ready." I plant another gentle kiss on his forehead before pressing play on the TV, filling the room with the sound of our favorite show. For the next hour or so, we simply just sit there, Ash holding onto me like his life depends upon it.

Finally, he raises his head toward me, and I give him a reassuring smile. "Are you feeling better now?"

He gives a nonchalant shrug. "Yeah, I guess."

"Can I do anything to help?"

"Well, there's one thing, but you'll likely say no," he sighs.

"Try me." I wink.

Locking eyes with me, he musters the courage to ask, "Will you kiss me, Gage?"

He surprises the shit out of me, and my shocked expression must be evident because he swiftly looks down at his hands, showing self-consciousness and uncertainty.

With a dismissive tone, he says, "Forget it," and begins to rise from my lap.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" I exclaim, quickly pulling him back toward me. "I never said no. I just wasn't expecting you to ask that. I mean, in a sober state. I just thought maybe you'd wanna talk about Jace, or whatever you were dreaming about." He nods tentatively as he seems to contemplate something. Then decisiveness courses across his face.

"He's hurt because I didn't tell him I'm bisexual, and I'm angry because he reacted so harshly. That's all there is to it."

I turn my head slightly, my eyebrows furrowing into a frown. "Now, I know that's not all of it and I know damn well you're hurting, but if you don't wanna talk about it, that's fine. I just... Shit, sweetheart, I hate seeing you like this. It breaks my heart. I want my happy, playful Ash back. How do we go about that?"

"Well, you could kiss me," he says quietly.

I see I have a master manipulator on my hands, but I'm up for the challenge. "If you can provide a valid reason for wanting me to kiss you, then I'll think about it."

"I... I've never been kissed before. I just wanna know what it feels like. Is it everything I've imagined and dreamed of? I see people do it all the time, but I've always held back because it just didn't feel right in my gut. There's this feeling in the depths of my being, telling me you're the right person for me." His face breaks out in a full-blown blush, his eyes blinking rapidly. "I can't help but smile when I think about the way you make me feel. It's as if my heart hears a soft melody whispered to it by yours."

As he smiles at me, I notice a flicker of warmth in his eyes, a rare sight ever since his birthday.

Going up against him, I knew I had no chance from the start. My stomach does a big ole flip-flop, like when you go over a bump too quickly. I can't believe he's never been kissed, and now he wants me to be his first. What a fucking privilege.

"Are you sure? This is a pretty big deal, you know? I don't want you to come to regret this decision. Wasting your first time on an old asshole like me." It's as if I've been longing for this exact moment for my entire existence and, as always, I turn to sarcasm as a shield...

"You're not old," he smirks adorably, before continuing, a newfound certainty in his voice. "I give you my word that I won't regret it, and if I don't enjoy it, I'll let you know. It's the only thing I've been thinking about for the past week."

Fuck. Am I seriously gonna do this? Hell yeah, I am. "Can you sit up, sweetheart?" I lick my lips and notice he's doing the same.

With one hand gently cradling his face, our breaths mix in a moment of shared vulnerability. I steal a glance into his eyes, and he silently acknowledges our unspoken connection with a small nod.

With my eyes shut tight, I lean in and gently press my lips against his, savoring the intimate touch. My heart quickens its pace, threatening to burst free from my chest. I pull back to check he's okay, and in response, he emits a whine and chases my lips. I press my lips back to his much softer ones, relishing the taste of his warm breath against my mouth. I gently run my tongue along the seam of his lips, hoping he'll part them for me. He obliges, and as I gently lick his warm, wet tongue, I feel a rush of excitement. Like it's the first for me, too. His hands come up around my neck, and he moves himself so that he's straddling me.

I pull back just a bit to catch my breath, and he begs, "Come back. I need more". His embrace is tight and demanding, and I can't help but smile as he attaches himself to me.

With one hand caressing his face, I feel the roughness of his jawline and the warmth radiating from his skin. Simultaneously, my other hand rests on his waist, fitting perfectly into the curve of his body. I feel as though I've been transported to paradise.

Despite the messiness and sloppiness of his movements, he continues to kiss me fervently, his lips brushing against my beard with no concern. I've had my fair share of kisses, but none has left me feeling the way this one does. It feels like there is a deeper meaning attached to this, not just for him, but for me as well.

The snug fit of my jeans makes me aware of my arousal, and I can't help but wonder if he realizes he's hard, too. The sensation of his erection against my belly sends a surge of desire through my body. I don't want this to escalate, not yet. So, I gently retreat, and he lets out another plaintive whine, making me chuckle. "Sweetheart, let's talk about this."

"No talking," he declares, leaning in to capture my lips once again. "More kissing."

With a gentle touch, I push him away.

"Did I do something wrong?" He frowns worriedly.

"God, no. You did everything perfectly, baby."

"So, why'd you stop?" he murmurs.

"Just wanna check in on how you're feeling and give you a breather."

He settles on my lap, his fingertips grazing his plump lips, as a joyful smile spreads across his face. "I don't need a breather," he whispers, his eyes swimming before me. He looks wrecked.

"How was it?" I ask him, shaking my head. His eyes go wide, and he blushes even more.

"It was like everything and more. It felt like all the birthdays I've missed were suddenly condensed into one overwhelming moment."

I feel a radiant glow spread through me as I realize I'm the reason for the goofy expression on his face.

"So, you're not bothered because I'm a man?"

"I think we both know I have feelings for you, Gage, but I wasn't sure if you felt the same." His hand flies to his mouth, his eyes going even wider. "I mean... I don't... It's okay if you don't. Feel the same, I mean..." he trails off, looking down.

I place one of his hands on my racing heart and the other on my rock-hard dick, causing him to gasp but not retreat.

"Can you take this as proof that I have feelings for you as well?"

He gently guides my hand to his arousal, and a rush of desire overwhelms me. I want to devour him. But I won't, not yet.

"What does this mean, Ash? I need you to tell me."

"It means... I've been working through some things. Jaxon has been supportive, and I'm pretty sure you overheard my conversation with Jace, but just to clarify, I identify as bisexual." He looks up, making eye contact with me. "I may be new to this, but I genuinely believe that you are my person. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it does, darlin'," I admit, throwing caution to fucking everything. How can I deny him my honesty when he's putting himself out there like this? For me.

"I'm also a bit broken. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but I'll let you know when I am."

"Take all the time you need. I promise there'll be no judgment, only understanding." I gently cup one side of his face, ensuring he can see the sincerity in my eyes. "Just know that you might feel broken, but if you'll let me, I'd like to try to mend your broken pieces and make you feel complete once more."

Resting his forehead against mine, he whispers, "Thank you. I don't think I've ever felt that. Complete. But I want that. More than anything."

A minute goes by in silence, his words sinking in before he finally breaks it. "I really, really like you and it's crazy and scary because I've never had these feelings before."

Damn, maybe I shouldn't have waited so long to show him I care.

"I'm sorry I've been holding back, but I thought you were straight, and I'm sorry for assuming. Max was right, I should've just asked you."

"Until recently, I thought I was too, so don't worry about it." As he sits back up, he asks nervously, "So, do you think we can kiss again?"

As I'm about to answer, his stomach rumbles loudly, and I give him a questioning look, raising my eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to eat," he mumbles.

"Okay, no more missing meals, starting right now." He nods. "How about we get some pizza?"

"What about the kissing?" he pouts and fuck me all the way to hell and back, that nearly does it. Fuck food, I wanna say. Who needs it anyway? Then I shake myself.

I groan, "When you have a full belly, then we can kiss again."

"Deal!" he exclaims, leaping to his feet.

"Where are you going?" I laugh.

"To get my phone. The sooner we place our order, the sooner I can kiss you."

I can't help but smile like an idiot as he zooms into his room. I have a feeling that I've just unleashed a monster.