Chapter Twenty-Six

Gage

" G ood Lord, someone needs to clue the doc in that he can't sing worth a damn," I say.

"Let him be," Jax laughs. "I'd like to see you try getting up there and giving it a shot."

"Trust me, I'm even worse than Doc! I'm gonna stick with pulling beer."

"So..." Jax drags out as he comes to stand next to me.

"So... what?" I reply. "Hold up, is this a game? ‘Cause I suck at ‘em."

He lets out a sigh, shaking his head in disbelief. "I mean, what's going on between you and Ash?" he asks. "He told me you finally mustered up the courage to make a move," he winks.

"If you mean we kissed, then yes," I say, with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. "In fact, we do it all the time, and he can't seem to get enough of me." Like the ultimate stud muffin, I jest by casually dusting off my shoulder with a smirk.

"Spare me the details, but when are you gonna take it up a notch? He told me you're holding out on him."

Damn, that little snitch.

"I'm giving him time to get comfortable being with a guy. I keep thinking he might change his mind."

Observing the pain Max went through when Jaxon left him, I'm starting to comprehend just how deeply he was affected. Also, I'm trying my damn hardest not to get too attached to Ash, fearing that he might suddenly decide to leave, just like Brad did to me. I don't want to experience that again because this time, it will be excruciating. There's no denying it—I am unequivocally tied to him emotionally, whether or not I want to admit it.

"He opened himself up to you, handpicking you above anyone else. Why would he do that if he's gonna leave? You're not even gonna give him a chance?"

I wince at his comment because I know what he's saying is true, but I'm afraid.

"The more invested I become, the more fear creeps in, reminding me of the potential of getting hurt," I tell him.

"I understand that, but Max and I overcame our challenges. It was difficult, but when you have a strong connection with someone, it can only be severed if you intentionally harm it. I don't think you have any intention of doing that, do you? Your heart knows what it wants, even before your mind can catch up."

I guess he's right. My heart longs for Ash, but my nagging insecurities keep reminding me he could easily be with anyone, yet he chooses to be with me, someone who's twice his age. What do I bring to the table for him? What if he takes one look at my body and realizes I don't meet his physical expectations? That my middle-aged, slightly out-of-shape physique isn't what he's attracted to. What if his goal is simply to use me as a practice ground before moving on to someone else? Running my hand through my hair, I feel the slight tangles and knots, as I secure it with a hair tie. I'm not ready to tell Jax about my insecurities. So, I grab a towel to wipe away the spillages along the bar to distract myself. I hear Ash on the microphone thanking Doc Green for his unforgettable and ear-piercing performance. Of course, Ash says it a lot nicer than I do in my head.

Listening to him talk is a delight that I could indulge in for hours. The sound of his voice soothes me and melts away some of my self-doubt. As I watch him, I lean on the bar and absentmindedly rest my hand under my chin.

"Alright folks, I'm about to perform a song for y'all," he announces to the crowd. "But today, I'll have company. Max, if you'd like to join me."

Everyone gives them a round of applause. Jax's idea of hosting a karaoke night was spot on—it's a huge hit. It's clear that everyone, regardless of their vocal prowess, craves an opportunity to unwind and sing their favorite tunes. Jax seems to be spot-on about everything lately. I should probably start listening to him more and not let those annoying thoughts bother me.

Jax comes and stands next to me, mirroring my posture. Together, we resemble two lovesick puppies yearning for our mates. If given the chance, I would happily engage in the canine ritual of sniffing Ash's behind and urinating on his leg to establish my territorial claim. He belongs to me. I just gotta let him know that.

Jax warns, "You better claim him before someone else swoops in."

Hearing Jax voice my own thoughts makes me realize how strongly I feel about Ash. I know that if anyone tried to take him away, they'd have to get through me first.

I give him the stink eye.

He rolls his eyes at me, right as Ash belts out ‘ Somebody ' by Bryan Adams. His voice resonates throughout the room, soothing everyone like a calming elixir.

No more holding back. Time to unleash the Gage attack. Ash is what I need, so I'm gonna make him mine.

"Shit, I knew they'd be amazing together," Jax sighs. He's practically swooning as Max and Ash sing the chorus together.

While Ash sings, I flash him a radiant smile that matches the energy of his performance. "I'll never get bored with watching him," I admit. It's my turn to shoot hearts from my eyes now.

"Right? I'm so glad my life took the turn it did to land me in Hope," Jaxon agrees.

The sound of the bar door opening catches my attention, and I glance up to see Tom the Twink walking in, accompanied by his buddy. Suddenly, my good mood plummets like a stone. I let out a deep, exasperated sigh.

"That guy is obsessed with you," Jax tells me what I already know.

"I don't need this right now. I'm gonna go grab some glasses," I tell Jax. "Try to steer clear of him."

With my bar towel slung over my shoulder, I saunter over to the back of the bar where Ash is singing and blow him a playful kiss whilst I clear the tables, collecting empty glasses and stacking them neatly on the edge of the bar, ready to be loaded. As I turn, I bump into Tom. Damn it, he's followed me. Suddenly, his arms are wrapped around me, causing me to lose my balance as we struggle to stay upright. I just manage to notice Ash storming past me like a hurricane. Fuck.

I untangle Tom's unwanted arms from around my neck and wonder what I ever saw in him. My past mistakes seem to have a never-ending cycle of coming back to bite me in the ass.

I look him in the eye. "Do not ever touch me again. Consent is a thing, and I never gave you mine. I'm not available to you now or ever again. Do you understand?" I grit out.

The shock on his face swiftly gives way to a furious expression, as he exclaims, "You're a dick!"

"Yep, it's all in the fine print. Maybe you should've read it when you had the chance."

With purpose, I turn my back on him and make my way behind the bar toward Jax. I toss him my bar towel, and then ascend the stairs to the apartment, taking them two at a time.

With quick reflexes, I catch the door before it shuts, grabbing hold of Ash, and spinning him around to push him firmly against the door.

"Never walk away from me, sweet cheeks," I growl.

"You were busy with your friend ." I can tell he's upset from his tone of voice, but he has nothing to worry about.

Despite his attempt to look away, I press my body against his, sensing his arousal through his tight-fitting jeans. With one hand on the door for support, I gently turn his face toward me.

"He's not a friend of mine. If you'd stuck around, you would've witnessed me telling him. You're the one I want, not him. "

"You do?" The tension in his body eases, only to be replaced by a frown of concern. "If you want me so much, why haven't we gone beyond kissing? It feels like I'm doing something wrong. You're holding back, and it gives me the impression you don't want me."

Holding back? Does he know how critically this ‘ allergic reaction ' affects me? I'm walking on a live wire right now. I want to Gash the shit out of him, imprint my dick onto his so that whenever he feels insecure, he'll remember me, us. It's just me he'll feel, and his mind will settle. Screw holding back. It's going on my ass as a tattoo.

"You think you can handle me not holding back, tater tot?" I speak against his neck.

"Yes," he gulps.

That one word is my green light. Batten down the hatches, I'm going in. "Drop your jeans. Now ."

Gotta give him credit; he drops those jeans so fast I don't have time to blink. Unzipping mine, I see his eyes go wide. Don't worry, sweetheart. Just wait until you see Big John. He'll blow your mind.

My jeans slide down to my ankles and as I give him a once-over, I decide the shirt's gotta go, too. I need to see more of him. All of him. I lift it over his head and fling it behind me. His body is flawless, showcasing a chiseled six-pack and a seductive line of dark hair that guides my gaze to his navel.

Following suit, I swiftly take off my shirt, leaving both of us standing there, clad only in our boxers, with our jeans around our ankles. Tracing my finger down the center of his chest, I feel his breath quicken in response. Stopping at the band of his underwear, I see his erection straining against the fabric, a visible wet spot from his precum. I shift my gaze to him, my voice taking on a lower, rougher tone. "Drop them."

Whether it's from nerves or excitement, his skin gives him away with a display of goosebumps. For a brief moment, his body quivers before he gently slides them down. His hard dick bounces, a solid six inches of uncut muscle that I'm so eager to sample. A tousled mass of dark hair surrounds his cock; lots for me to bury my face in. If only he knew how hard it is for me not to come right now, just from the sight of him.

"You next," he says, voice trembling. I slide my fingers into my waistband. It's our time to shine, Big John. Don't let me down! My eight inches flip up and hit my stomach. While I may be slightly larger than him, our thickness is identical. The sound of his sharp intake of breath fills my ears. I wonder if he's even seen another man's cock before.

"You, okay?" I ask him.

"Yes," he says softly, his eyes sparkling. "Please kiss me."

I start off slowly, savoring the taste of his lips and trailing kisses down his neck, until he begs for more. His taste engulfs my senses as I hungrily explore his mouth with my tongue. Moving in closer, our bodies touch, allowing me to capture the delicious sound of his moans. I can feel the slickness of my precum coating my stomach. While I kiss him fervently, with one hand on his neck, I use the other to grip both of our cocks.

" Mmmmm , yes." He takes a moment to glance down at us. My fingers are stretched out, creating enough space for both of us.

"Look at us, sugar pie. We make quite the stunning pair, don't we?" I give us a few slow strokes. "Ready to be taken to heaven?"

"Yes, please," he whimpers. "I'm barely hanging on."

In a soft, seductive tone, I purr, "You keep watching me now. I want your eyes on us. Watch how seamlessly we fit and move together."

As I gather the saliva in my mouth, I skillfully spit it on our pink crowns, never taking my eyes off Ash. His undeniable desire fills the air. The sound of his heavy breathing engulfs us as I glide my saliva along our shafts. Picking up speed creates more precum from us both, which I use to my advantage. The sound of our flesh slapping in my hand is a sweet melody that I've been yearning for since I first laid eyes on him.

"I... I'm not gonna last," he mumbles, his trembling hands pressed flat against the door, his eyes wide, pupils dilated, a sight that takes my breath away. I did that to him, and now I realize how foolish it was for me to think I could hold off.

My body grows taut as I whisper, "Come for me, baby." The tingling sensations spread wildly through me, but I'm determined to hold off my release until he reaches his.

"Gage," he whines. With his mouth agape, his eyes lock with mine as his body tenses, and he climaxes, spilling his release onto my hand and shaft. His moan, raw and desperate, fills my ears and sets my senses ablaze.

Fuck. I use his cum as lube, the heightened sensation amplifying my arousal, driving me to the point of no return. I expel ribbons of cum onto my hand, his stomach, and cock.

Completely spent, I lean closer to him and place a tender kiss on his neck, finding comfort as we slowly come down from the intense experience. After we've calmed our breathing, I stand up again, still holding our softening cocks.

Using my other hand, I delicately swirl our essence over our cocks, savoring the intoxicating scent, before bringing it to my lips. I can confidently say that this cocktail is the sweetest and most amazing creation I've ever made.

"Can I try?" he whispers, eyes glued to my sticky fingers.

With a smile, I playfully twirl my finger and offer it to him. He eagerly opens his mouth and extends his tongue, allowing me to place my finger inside.

"Closer," I tell him. As Ash sucks my finger, I can feel my poor old man dick trying to rally. It seems like it's desperately attempting to perform CPR on itself.

"What do you think?" Has he ever tasted cum before?

"I know I'm salty, but you're so sweet; we're the perfect combo."

Well, that answers that question. I love that he's tasted us. I lean in and give him a kiss to taste us once more.

"Let's agree to no longer hold back, okay?" he says. "In case I wasn't clear before, I want you. All day, every day."

"Yeah baby, I hear you loud and clear. No holding back."

"Good, because I want to experience everything with you. I've been watching..." In a soft, timid voice, he utters the word ‘porn,' as if he were doing something wrong.

"Oh, you have, have you?" I'm glad he's so open to exploring his sexuality, and that I get to join in and watch him come undone by my hand. "Count me in for trying everything you want." I give him a quick kiss. Our cocks slip from my hand, and as I gaze at our shared release, a thought occurs to me: why waste it? So, I lick my hand clean.

"Whoa, that's so fucking hot." His refractory period is much faster than mine, and I can already see him plumping back up.

"So, you get it now, Ash? How much I want you? That just being near you turns me inside out? That my reason for holding back is because I don't want to scare you away?"

"I do. But you couldn't scare me away even if you tried." He hesitates and a shadow I never want to see again washes over his beautiful features. "But remember, I'm new to this, Gage. I don't..." he blushes adorably. "I don't have the same experience that you do. If you don't tell me what you're thinking, then I... then I think you don't want me. It's where my mind takes me. I know it's dumb..." He looks down, his vulnerability so fucking beautiful. The way he shares himself with me like this.

"Hey now," I murmur, cradling his chin in my hand. "I get it. I do. I've led a selfish life for the most part, only having to think about myself. But that changes now. I never want you to second-guess this. Us." He nods, leaning into my hand, a shy smile breaking free across his face. He seems to contemplate something. "What are you thinking, baby?" I rasp.

"I was just... No, it doesn't matter."

"What? Tell me," I coax.

"So, I know this is probably quick, but are we like boyfriends?" A cute blush coats his cheeks. "It's fine if you don't wanna be..."

I silence him with a kiss. "Yeah, we can be boyfriends," I said with a playful grin. "That is, if you don't mind being seen with an old man."

"Seriously, don't do that. I couldn't care less how old you are." He holds my face and says, "I like you just the way you are."

And shit, there you have it. Standing in my doorway, dick in hand, I've only gone and fallen head over heels for him.