35. Silas

Juliet stays curledup under my arm for the duration of the drive. She stops shaking after an hour or so, and once the adrenaline wears off she even goes to sleep for a little while. But she doesn't let me go, her hand straying underneath my t-shirt to rest against my stomach.

I can taste her fear, and it's not sweet or alluring. It makes my stomach turn. It doesn't matter what I say to her, every reassurance I've given her since we left the compound. She doesn't believe me. She thinks they'll tear her away from me, and that she'll never see me again.

And the fact is, that it might come to that.

What happened this morning proved that I can't keep her safe. I can fight off a few starved marauders, sure. But not a whole horde of Afflicted. Not an organized rogue militia. And certainly not the fucking National Guard should they ever find us.

I press a kiss to the top of Juliet's head, trying to get a handle on my rage. This isn't fair. This isn't fucking fair. I blink my eyes hard, gritting my teeth against the sorrow that threatens to swallow me up. I'm letting her fear infect me. I have no reason to doubt the colony, the vamps in Savannah said there were vampires living there.

It might still be OK.

I drive on, the decaying towns passing us by. About an hour from Roanoke, I bring the truck to a stop, and Juliet rouses from sleep. She blinks, running the back of her hand across her face, then just gazes up at me, those eyes like a storm.

"We"re nearly there, aren't we?"

I nod, stroking a strand of hair out of her face. "Nearly, yeah." I drop a soft kiss on her lips. "It'll be alright, yeah?"

She screams as something slams into the side of the car and I whip the gun up towards the window. I almost pull the trigger, but stop when I see what it is.

An Afflicted vamp claws weakly at the window. Its cheeks are completely sunken, its eyes blank. Straggly dark hair ropes from its ruddy scalp, and the sounds coming from it are pathetic, animalistic. The bloody stumps of its fingers leave dark tracks of blood on the glass.

"Oh jesus, Silas!" Juliet's head whips to look over her shoulder, before she burrows against me. "Go! Drive!"

"It's alright." I lower the gun, narrowing my eyes as the creature groans and claws at the truck.

"Silas, it's going to smash the window." Juliet's voice is wavering with fear.

"No, it's… weak. I think it's starving."

"Then it's hungry." Juliet is breathing hard against my chest, lifting her head to jerk a glance over her shoulder. "Can we get out of here, please?"

"They're dying."

The Afflicted mewls, cracked and bleeding lips torn open as it collapses, disappearing out of view.

"Silas, please, can we get out of here?" Juliet's urgent tone brings me back to attention, and I gun the engine. The tire crunches over something, and Juliet clutches a hand to her mouth.

"We ran over it," she says, breathing in deeply through her nose. "Jesus Christ, we fucking ran over it."

"That thing was in bad shape." I shake my head. "It was starved."

"How long can they go without blood?"

"I don't know, they wanted to make vampires as hardy as possible." I chew the inside of my cheek, mulling over the million thoughts in my head. "But maybe now, it's become too much. The thirst, it wore them out and now they're all dying."

"Is that likely?"

I can't answer, because I don't know. But what if the Afflicted have hit their expiry date? What if the virus that turned those vamps into zombies has ravaged their systems, leaving them to slowly die out, until there's none left? The thought is almost too wonderful to even consider. But that Afflicted was very obviously dying, slowly and horribly.

I reach over to put a hand on Juliet's knee. She clasps on to me, shaking violently.

"That scared the shit out of me." Her wide eyes turn to me, and she attempts a smile. "I thought I'd gotten a little more brave this morning, I guess not."

"Hey no, come on, those things are terrifying." I lift one of her hands to my mouth, kissing her palm. "You're so fucking brave, angel. Facing all of this out here? You did great."

She huffs out a little breath between trembling lips and nods. "Yeah." It's all she says before she huddles back in under my arm, wrapping herself around me as Roanoke draws closer and closer.

The hour slips through my fingers way too fast. We approach the outskirts, the battered city landscape stretching out before us. The truck bumps over broken roads and fallen debris, caved-in buildings on either side of us.

Juliet scoots away from me to gaze out of the windshield, leaning forward to take in the wrecks all around us.

"How do we know where to go?"

I don't even get a chance to answer, as a siren begins whirring loudly overhead. "They know we're here," I shout over the din, Juliet clasping her hands over her ears and nodding.

I turn a corner, and before us lies a huge gate. Layers upon layers of wood and barbed wire stand 25 feet high, with thick razor wire stretching the length of the city blocks. Guard towers stand at either end of the block, and I can practically feel the guns that are trained on us. The siren stops, and Juliet's hands drop from her ears.

"Halt your advance." A loud voice crackles from speakers mounted either side of the gate. "Stop your engine, and get out of the vehicle with your hands up over your head."

Juliet and I look at each other, and I give her a smile that I hope is reassuring and doesn't betray just how anxious I feel at this moment.

"Come on then, angel."

She dives across the seat and kisses me, her mouth hot and sweet. "I love you."

"It's alright." I clutch her face in my hands. "Come on, it's alright. Let's go."

We part reluctantly, and climb slowly out of the truck, walking to stand in front of it with our hands in the air.

"Do you have any weapons in the vehicle?" The voice asks once we come to a stop.

"I have two handguns!" I call back. "But only two bullets!"

The loudspeaker hums and sputters for a moment, before letting out a high-pitched squeal, and the voice starts again. "Is the female human?"

"Yes, she is!"

"Confirm you're a vampire."

I swallow hard. "I am!"

"But he's a friend!" Juliet's voice is strained, her anxiety palpable. "He's not dangerous, he-"

"We'll be opening the gate now." The voice cuts her off, without a hint of emotion. "Do not move."

We stay still as there are loud bangs, movement in the guard tower, and finally a loud grinding noise as the gate begins to roll open. Juliet is shifting on her feet as though she wants to move closer to me, or run, or just lose her fucking mind with the anxiety that's eating her up.

"It's alright, angel." I look over at her, and her eyes are almost wild. "Just calm down. They're not going to hurt us." This is the first time she's seen this many new people in over five years. This whole situation is terrifying for her. "They won't hurt you, Jules. I promise. I won't let them."

She nods, her jaw tense. "OK. OK." The words tumble out of her, her face pale under the sprinkling of freckles.

Heavy footsteps approach, and a woman with dark brown skin and short black curls approaches, wearing dusty body armor. She's flanked by two men, also wearing armor, carrying assault rifles, which are trained on Juliet and I. They advance on us slowly, the woman's gaze measured as she sizes us up.

They stop 10 feet away, and I swallow down the rage as the guy on the left keeps his gun trained on Juliet.

"We're no danger," I say, and the woman looks at me pensively.

"And what exactly are you doing here?"

"We escaped a compound in Georgia." I gesture to Juliet with my raised hand. "She was going to be sent off for a breeding program. So I got her out of there."

The woman raises her eyebrows, her face still mostly neutral. "Well, that was noble of you. What brings you all the way up here?"

"I'd been told that this colony was a safe haven." I lower my hands slowly, palms facing her. "I had to get her to safety."

She turns her attention to Juliet. "I'm Sutton, and your name is?"

"Juliet. Monroe." She lowers her hands to her sides, still shifting uneasily on her feet.

Sutton takes a step closer to her. "You seem a little anxious, Juliet, is everything alright?"

"Just… It's been a long time since I talked to anyone new." She rubs the heels of her hands along her thighs. "I was locked up in that place for five years. They took me when I was 19."

"I'm sorry to hear it." Sutton points a finger in my direction. "So, he hasn't been hurting you?"

Juliet shakes her head emphatically. "He saved me. He's… he's my…" She looks over at me helplessly.

Sutton raises her hand, and the men behind her lower their weapons. "It's OK, I understand. I'm glad you escaped that place. They're barbaric." She opens her hands in front of her, then clasps them together. "This colony has some strict rules, but they keep us safe. If you're willing to work hard and as part of a team, you'll have a place here. Is that OK?"

"What kind of rules?" Juliet's voice wavers.

"Nothing unusual. No fighting, no stealing, things like that. Like I said, rules to keep us safe."

"I can live with that." Juliet plays with her fingers, and Sutton's flickering eyes seem to notice the anxious movement. For the first time, her face breaks into a smile.

"I can see you've been through it, honey. No one will hurt you here, I promise. We have families living here, kids, babies. They're all happy and healthy. You'll be safe here."

"What about the Afflicted?" I ask. "Have you been attacked?"

Sutton's shoulders square as she looks back at me. "They've never made it into the colony. Not once in three years."

"You've been out here three years?" Juliet asks.

Sutton"s expression shifts instantly, smiling warmly at Juliet. "That's right. We're well established. We have gardens, livestock. Even a hairdresser if you can believe it." She gives a little laugh. "It's safe here. Somewhere you can call home after those compounds."

Juliet's face relaxes a little. "OK. Well, that sounds good." She looks over at me. "Right?"

I smile and nod. "It sounds great."

Juliet exhales and turns back to Sutton. "OK, well, if you'll have us-"

"Us?" Sutton's smile dissolves instantly. "No Us. Just you, honey."

"What?" Juliet tenses with panic. "No, no he's-"

"A vampire." Sutton cuts her off gently, before looking back over at me. "I'm sorry, but we can't have your kind in here. We did it once before, and it never ends well."

There's no point protesting. I can't negotiate my way into this. To them, I'm still a monster. I can't blame them. My shoulders slump.

"I understand."

"No!" Juliet rushes at me, throwing her arms around my neck. "No, you're not leaving me, I won't let you."

I look over her shoulder at Sutton, whose face is still neutral. "You can take care of her, right?"

Sutton nods. "Yes, of course."

Juliet spins around, tears racing down her cheeks. "He's not dangerous!" Her voice cracks, and she dashes her hands against her face. "He's a friend! He rescued me!"

Sutton shakes her head. "I'm sorry, but he can't come in."

"But they said you had vamps living here!" Juliet's voice wavers, becoming more and more strained. "They said we could be together here!"

"Jules, it's OK." I put my hands on her shoulders and turn her back to face me. Her wide eyes are red-rimmed, and she shakes her head as I stroke her cheeks. "I told you I'd do whatever I needed to do to keep you safe."

She pulls back, swaying slightly on her feet. "You promised you wouldn't leave me. You swore to me you'd stay with me."

I cradle her face in my hands, hating myself for the trembling I can feel reverberating through her. "I have to keep you safe. And I can't keep you safe out here, not alone. And this might kill me, but I couldn't live with myself knowing I didn't do whatever I had to do to make sure you live."

She slumps against me, wailing with grief. Time seems to slow down for a moment, as I hold Juliet in my arms. I don't even feel sorrow, I just feel empty. I know this has to be done, just like when I had to let go of Margot. I know I have to do what's best for her, even though it's leaving me hollow.

"Silas," she murmurs, grasping onto my shirt. "Please, don't do this."

"I'll find you, angel." I tip back her head, kissing those rosy lips, awash with salt tears. "I told you, I'll always find you. And one day, when the world's back to normal, I'll find you again. I promise."

An alarm starts to blip over us, and Sutton and the men tense visibly.

"There's Afflicted approaching," Sutton says, extending a hand. "Come on now, we have to get you inside."

"No!" Juliet holds on to me. "I'm not leaving you!"

"Jules." I pull her arms away from me. "You need to go. Now."

"Turn me!" Her eyes are wild, her hair sticking to the sweat beading on her face. "Turn me, and take me with you!"

I shake my head. "I'm not doing that now, not like this." I meet Sutton's eyes, and give her a nod. "Goodbye, angel."

"We need to close this gate now." Sutton gestures to one of the men. "Take her inside."

"No!" Juliet screams, her hands slipping away from me as one of the men takes her from me, holding her tightly and carrying her inside the gate as she continues to scream for me. "Silas! Silas! No! No! Please!"

Sutton gives me one last curt nod, before following them in. The gate rolls shut, and with a loud thud it slams home. Chains jangle as the gate is locked down, the blipping siren above falling silent as a voice announces "Lockdown is in place."

I stare at the gate for a long time. I should go, I should move, I need to get out of here before any Afflicted cross my path. But the loss is so great I just stand there, staring. My hands are cold. I'll never touch her again.

I finally climb back into the truck, gunning the engine and just staring at the dash, wondering where the fuck I even go. I can't go back to Georgia. I can't go to Boston, they'll have spread my face across the network and everyone will know to be looking for me.

Maybe I should let the Afflicted bite me. Is there any point in going on now?

I squeeze my eyes shut. There is a point. I told her I'd find her one day. And I have to keep that promise.

I pull away from the colony, watching it slip away in the rear view.

I'll find you again one day. I promise.